----- Original Message -----
From: "C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net>
To: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2000 10:51 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma] THE CLAN Ch. 20
At 05:01 PM 5/8/00 -0400, Douglas MacDougall wrote:
<Snip>
Akuji took a step back from the girl's body in front of him
and held up his good arm. White, diseased-looking spikes burst
through the flesh of his fingers to lance up at the martial artist.
White, diseased-looking spikes?
And that's his GOOD arm? ^_^;
Ugly as sin. We're going to get more into what makes a Ravener King in the
next few chapters.
It'll be an interesting revelation.
Gee, Ranma probably should have done something, rather then
just watch him regenerate and undo his advantage. ^_^
I'm having a problem portraying the time passing, I guess. This is all
supposed to be happening very quickly, but I want to spend time talking
about Ranma's fighting style. He's supposed to have learned from his last
few battles with these guys. Any suggestions
Hmm, basically your trying for a narative version of the scenes from the
Matrix and such where time pauses or slows down. A few possible approaches
off the top of my head are:
1 Adding descriptive which examine frozen moments.- End one paragraph with
Ranma jumping, or throwing a punch, describing the surrounding events in the
next paragraph, then describe Ranma landing, striking his target, or being
blocked.
2 Have Ranma plot out what's happening in his head as he does it. But be
careful not to be too wordy.
3 Provide an outside time reference. In Battle Angel/Gunnm, the last duel
in the Moterball arena began with the moterball being thrown onto the track,
then Kishiro cut back and forth from Jashagen closing with and destroying
everyone but Alita/Gally, and the moterballs gracefull arc down to the
track. And he took out the Alita/Gally's last teammate just before it
landed.
<Snip>
be regenerating from anything Ranma could do to him. The really
powerful variations of the Umisen-ken required some preparations
that Ranma just didn't have ready.
RANMA: Blankie! Give me a blankie!
Ranma wouldn't really want to 'steal' anything from Akuji, either.
Still, there is the question of just how long it'll take for Ranma to
come up with something new. Inovation is his strongest suit. As long as
overconfidence doesn't get to much in the way.
<Snip>
^_^;;
> First, let's have a round of Applause for Vincent Seifer, Rick
Robinson,
David Eddy, Allyn Yonge, Steven Pirrone and Nick Leifker. These guys
are
*it* when it comes to pre-reading. Thanks, guys!
sp: Seifert!
(Ack!)
Damn lazy fingers! Forgive me, Vincent! Gomen!!!!!
>Okay, I found this part much more interesting. Not so much for
the Ravener King parts, but for Ukyou and Shampoo going after
Akane. Actually, all the Akane parts were fun. :)
I have the same comment as before about the vampire parties.
Also, why Nodoka and Athia went back home. Sure, Akane'll
need the help, but they don't know she's in trouble; they DO
know that Ranma is attacking a monster. Worse still, they're
leaving it to the newbies to handle.
I really think the party composition needs to be addressed.
Either change it, or if that isn't possible with your plot,
go back and give some extenuating reason.
What I'll probably do is go back and add in some (more) concern on Athia
and Soun's part to show the conflict, since Nodoka is supposed to be
making
the mistake.
Like the way first Thanos then Adam warlock thought the Infinity
Gauntlet made them incapable of error. Of course with the Gauntlet they had
the capacity to simply reach backward in time and undo any wrong choice they
made. Still there's the same "My power makes me incapable of being wrong"
attitude.
Well, the story is getting interesting.
A few things I look foreward to seeing in the future episodes:
Revelations about the nature of the Ravaner and Ravaner King. (Including
the reason they have to destroy themselves, Magic does have have a logic to
it, it just has a lot more poetry and symbolism.)
Revelations about Vampires- they are a bit too perfect as foils for the
Ravaners, revelations about Symbiosis, a combined origin, or the classic "We
are responsible" bit would be nice (After all the only bad point of
vampirism is that normals who don't understand have made a lot of wrong
assumptions about it. Something more concrete would be interesting,
especially Nodoka's reaction.)
Also the reason why men cannot become vampires, as I said Magic has a sort
of logic, and as it is, it seems just a perfectly balanced dynamic of the
exclusively female vampires one one side and the. . . Highly male aspacted
Raveners on the other.
And of course it might be interesting to see Nabiki or someone decide that
Ranma's making a mistake by not becoming a vampire himself, and bringing him
across by force only to discover that they made a HUGE mistake.
MEGUMI: So why'd you decide toget an apartment?
RANMA: My mom turned my fiancee into a vampire.
ZORT!!!
* * *
C. Jones - guilty@furinkan.net
http://www.furinkan.net
* * *
I get full-motion streaming video and sound, I listen to
radio and steal, steal uh, you know, my music through MP3,
like everybody else does. I write the laws that say it's
illegal, and I do it anyway.
-Senator Bob Kerrey (D) Nebraska
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