This one doesn't seem too long. Since I'm copying and downloading stuff,
instead of writing, I'll try using this extra time to good use.
Eddy B. wrote:
So, for those of you reading this, I'd be most grateful
if you'd be harsher than usual with your C&C.
If you want, send me enough money to come visit and I'll throw in a free
bitch slapping.
Pagliacci - A story of the world of Ranma 1/2
Chapter 5
***************************************************************
Irwin Schwab had trouble dealing with linear logic.
It went in a straight line; he didn't. In fact, about the only straight
line he could manage, was his brainwave pattern when he was hooked up to an
electro-encephalogram.
Then again, Irwin himself went around telling people that he'd
been raised by a television set.
But at least it wasn't an abusive one.
Now that WONDERFUL person, Sideshow Bob, had found him another
hero he could be a sidekick to! Oh, Glorious DAY!
Overdoing it with the capitalizations, I fear.
He started to pack a small suitcase, then stopped. If he could
teleport to Japan (and he could), then he could teleport BACK just
as easily. Hey, Japan could be a daily _commute_! PERFECT! He didn't
even have to move out of his apartment!
So Supes isn't saved after all. Ain't life grand?
There was a soft *pop* of displaced air, and Irwin Schwab
vanished. About thirty minutes later, in a similar *pop*, he
re-appeared, a confused look on his face.
"What's a passport?"
Heh.
"I think those are nails."
"I've heard of breaking bricks with your bare hands, but welding
them back _together_?"
Not too shabby.
A few bystanders blinked. One whistled softly.
"Wow. I've _heard_ gaijin say 'stick a brick in it', but I never
thought I'd ever actually see.."
Heh, again.
"Yeah. He even used mortar.
Heh. Even better.
In Nerima, even the buildings took part in the local insanity.
Drop the line. Uneccesary.
Lilac frowned slightly. "It's bad enough with three young
Amazons running around Nerima, even with Cologne and I keeping them
under our thumbs, so to speak. A dozen more, with no Elder to ride
herd on them? Think it through for yourself, Seamus."
Seamus: Everthing will be nice and peaceful?
"First girl that mouths off to you, male or not, I expect you to
tie them into a bow knot and play 'just how high into the sky can I
kick you?' with them, Seamus. You're a Master of your school, and
just as much entitled to respect as I or Cologne are."
Considering how most Master of a school get treated in Nerima, that doesn't
really hold up. ^_^
Maiku Kanazuchi was busy destroying a small concrete pillar
covered with advertising posters. In traditional Neriman style, he
was doing so by beating the pillar to death with his forehead.
Heh
"What kind of insanity IS this?"
Yep. Way too much capitalizing.
"Off hand, from the looks of the wound, I'd say it was a
stiletto heel with a steel cap and pink patent leather.. oh. You mean
Nerima?"
Now that paints a pretty picture.
his temper. "So, you're saying that _all_ of Nerima is basically
just as insane as Tomobiki?"
No. Nowhere near that bad.
It was Tofu's turn to nod. "In that case, Kanazuchi-san,
I believe I have something you need."
A one-way ticket out of the district?
He turned to a glass-fronted
cabinet and removed a large canister. Measuring out some of the
contents, he poured them into a small paper sack which he handed
to Maiku. "Two spoonfuls to a cup of hot water. Let it steep
steep? Not familiar with the term.
* * *
Gosunkugi took a deep breath and prepared himself for desperate
combat. The UPS driver had just arrived with a package.
Ah, more bad news from Gos. About time he showed up too.
Gos re-emerged from his bedroom wearing the fake leopard-skin
loincloth, his body one giant rose-red blush. "Momma, I look like
George of the Jungle!"
Gos then froze in horror as his mother's face was swept with a
thoughtful look.
"Elephants.. where can I find trained elephants?"
Ohh. What a bad idea on his part. He was asking for it though.
Definitely time to get Ranma to kill me, thought Gos.
I'd have to agree.
Very amusing, but very short as well. Too short, since not much happened in
this one. Aside from that nice work.
D.B. Sommer