Some cursory comments:
Now be kind on the c&c, this is my first FanFic, although I do write
other types of stories. I am giving a fair warning I tend to
protect my main characters way too much, but I will endeavor not to
do that here. Be forewarned this is NON CANNON and if the Tendos
even show up do not expect Akane to be Ranma's fianc�e. Be advised
that all my knowledge of Ranma 1/2 comes from the wonderful FanFics
I have read over the years. I have never seen any of the Ranma
Animes although I have seen Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z (American
version), I would prefer to read the FanFics and completely ignore
the Animes.
It shows. I strongly urge you to read at least the first volume of
the manga. Your portrayal of Genma is much harsher than the initial
manga or anime. In fact, I'd say too harsh. Also, considering his fear
of his wife, Genma is shown as too disdainful of women. There are also
continuity errors such as Ranma's knowledge of the suicide pact and his
use of the Moko Takabisha (Ranma didn't know it at this time and if
Rah-Ko used it, I doubt that she would use Japanese to express
herself). Similarly, why would the Amazon elders cry out an attack in
Japanese?
(BTW, it's been some time since I've read the manga, so please correct
me if I'm wrong.)
Of course, the biggest problem is that you expect the reader to
believe that Ryouga (of all people) could run out of Jusenkyo without
falling into a pool.
Otherwise, it is not too bad of a story. Grammar and spelling are
pretty good, decent dialogue, and good flow. However, one bit of
formatting puzzles me. Why do you treat dialogue as a separate
paragraph?
whimsy
P.S. It's CANON, not CANNON and the adjective would be NONCANONICAL.