I came very close to skipping this one, because of the way you started
it.  A word-for-word (nearly) re-telling of the arrival at the Dojo
has been done so many times that I usually run screaming in horror.

For some reason I stuck with it this time.  Glad I did.

If you can pare down the beginning somewhat so that you don't lose
your audience, you may have something here.

June



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