Subject: [FFML] [fic] [GT Project] Superstitions - Original
From: "Nikholas F. Toledo Zu" <niftol@i-manila.com.ph>
Date: 5/3/2000, 6:11 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Hmmmm... didn't figure to be reposting this one at this time.  :)
There was Rowan's MSTing, which I do not know if I've thanked him
on enough.

Admittedly, I did not think of writing a fanfic I had finished this.
I eventually added some lines to turn it into something which
surprised me.

***

I hate sleeping on the second floor.

It's more 'cause of the stairs, really.  I hate having to really
be awake when I'm getting up, but here I am getting to the bath
down the stupid stairs, hoping that I don't fall down and die
really soon.

So, okay, I'm not really afraid of heights, not like I haven't
been anywhere higher than mile-high.  I've dropped from mile-
high, for ----'s sake.  These damned stairs are just too narrow
at times, y'know?

Okay, so I didn't really fall from that high.  I'm not afraid.

Damned stairs.

I hate it when the lights are off and the lights are on in the
staircase, 'cause I keep seeing my crumpled body as a heap at
the bottom, and I keep looking at my eyes, 'cause they're 
saying, damn, why did you have to trip and die, you idiot, why
weren't you looking where you were going, overstepping, not
balancing, not bothering to wake up...?  Now you're dead - and
all that crap.  I blink and close the lights.

Then there are those mirrors.

I hate mirrors at night.

You know what they say about looking in a mirror at midnight
with the lights off and holding a candle right in front of you
? 

Looked behind you, huh.

Nope, never tried it.  Might find out who my soul mate was/is,
s'all.  Not sure I'd wanna find out quite so soon, y'know.

So many mirrors in my room, s'all.  Never really bothered with
them at night, 'cause in the morning I'd like to see how 
blasted I'd be looking.

There's that mirror at the end of the hall from the stairwell,
too.  Damned dark.

I'm not afraid of the dark.  Don't care if I die, dammit.

I wonder if I'd get exactly seven years bad luck.  Maybe I'll
have an anniversary or something, try to remember the really
unlucky bits of the past year.

Hate mirrors.  That guy in it might say something scary.  Or
my head might not be there.  Wouldn't want to know that I'd 
die, or something.

Hate dreaming 'bout falling.  Hate being helpless.

If dreaming 'bout flying means sex, what does flying in real
life mean?  What if you're being flown by someone?  If you
step on a crack in space-time, does your mom get it?

Mom.

Don't want to die.  Not yet.

Didn't die.  Never died.  Don't think about space, not being
able to breathe, looking in the mirror and finding her face
over the candle flame as the clock ticks eleven, twelve.
Not thinking about my neck cracking on the tenth step on the
way down from running away from myself.  Never gonna hear
that stupid organ playing.  Not gonna worry about them dying.
Me dying.  Tsunami crying.  I'm a prince.  Alien.  Prince.

Kagato is dead, get some sleep.

***

Yes, after OAV 6.  Hell, I'd be wracked over it.  If you 
think this was too dark (or morbid), tell me about it.

Switch 
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