Well, I'm definitely interested. I must admit, I'm incredibly curious to
see what happenes when this works itself to either a stability or a
conclusion.
Death. You engaged him to Death? Death? The Grim Reaper got hooked up?
and please help me get a new title!
I don't think you really need a new one. Bit if you must have a new one,
I'd make a pun off Death's part in the story.
You use a lot of ellipses in this, and I'm none to big a fan of them. I
would recomend either geting rid of all of them <my favorite> or cutting
down to just one or two a chapter.
The general feel of the narration is great. It never degenerates into
blantant sillyness, but much of what happens is so rediculous I'm
laughing my head off.
/Flashback, AD 459, Rome/
I hate that. Don't say flashback, just mention the date and location.
Also, you do know the Mongol's never came anywhere near Rome, right?
Mainly because they were conquering everything that was there to be
conquered in the 12th or 13th century. Now the Attila and his Huns, they
went head to head with the Romans a bit and they were around in this
time.
me headaches seeing through your glamour's No. We know our
glamours. No. We know
Ranma landed in the Park
park
The overly satirical characterization of everyone is very good. Their
actions are even more rediculous then usual, which fits the general
story well.
Problem with Ranma when he Hiryu Shoten Ha's Ryouga. He can't
counterattack during that move.
All in all though, my only real complaint is the ellipses. There's far
too many of them.