NOTE: Scriviner has lost internet access for the time being, so he asked me
to post this for me. All C&C should be sent to me for the meantime, and I'll
forward them to him after he regains access.
=====
So Many Memories: Scriviner Reprise
based on the original story by TimeRunner
A Church of All Worlds / Gratuitous Theater Project
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Warning: Contains Spoilers for the entire A!MG OAV series
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The sky. It always hurt to look at it now. Not from looking at the
sun, of course. The pain was inside him. Although, it wasn't quite pain...
the feeling was like pain in the same way that holding your finger just an
inch away from someone's skin was like a touch. It was the anticipation of a
feeling the gnawed at him. What he felt that frightened him the most about
it, though, was that if he were to experience it in full... he didn't think
he would survive it.
Yet, he couldn't keep his eyes away. Constantly searching the skies
for shapes in the clouds or shadows in the distance. He knew there was
something out there that he needed to see. He couldn't understand why he
always felt like this now. It was almost as though he'd lost something he
couldn't quite put a finger on. But that, was obviously ridiculous.
Since last year, he had everything he could've wished for. Except
maybe a little more height, but that was fine. He was doing well in school.
His name had become pretty well known on campus, because of all of the Auto
Club's activities. He was even living with beautiful goddesses rent free, in
a roomy temple.
He chuckled at the last. All in all, he really was a lucky guy, but
still, his face took on a look of concern... He didn't really feel that way.
If he thought about it logically, he'd most definitely say he was a very
lucky guy. But he didn't feel it. Not where it counted.
He slid his hands behind his head where he lay on the hardwood floor
of the temple's porch. His eyes were still on the sky. He thought for a
moment that one of the clouds, off to his right looked vaguely like a
woman's face watching him, but the wind shifted and the image broke up.
"Keiichi? Dinner's almost ready." A voice called cheerfully out from
the kitchen.
He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment before replying. "No
hurry." He called back. She does so much, he thought, then winced to
himself, I don't appreciate her enough. I don't think I let her know how
much she means to me. Her company was probably the only thing keeping me
sane nowadays.
She'd caused him so much trouble when they'd first met, but he
couldn't find the heart to resent her for it. Now... he didn't know what
he'd do without her. He sat up as another thought occurred to him and he
glanced back towards the open doorway to the kitchen.
Was that what's been missing from my life? He asked himself. Passion?
Romance? He shook his head, as he laughed at himself. Attractive as she was,
he could never make himself think of her in quite that way.
He sighed. Then again, it wasn't even as though he thought of anyone
in that way, really. The more he thought about it the more sense it made.
Maybe he did need someone for that sort of thing... That was what he'd been
missing. He glanced towards the kitchen once more. Now, there was an
entertaining fantasy, he thought as a scene of domestic tranquility with his
goddess popped into his head. He chuckled.
As he looked away, his eye caught a photo that had been taken last
summer. The glass of the frame was cracked and he'd been intending to
replace it, but he'd never gotten around to it. He supposed he was used to
seeing it like that. It was comforting in a way.
The photo bothered him. It showed him, with the beach behind him. He
stood up and picked up the photo to give it a closer look. He frowned.
Whoever had taken it, obviously wasn't used to centering his subjects. He
chuckled. There he was off to the left, leaving the ocean to be seen hazily
on the right side.
It wasn't the fact that it wasn't that well taken that bothered him.
In the photo, his face had a smile so happy that it was almost scary. He
didn't know what could've brought such a smile to his face. Why had he been
so happy when that picture had been taken? That wasn't the smile of a man
who'd managed to be at the beach after months of hard school work. That was
something else. That was the smile of a man who had everything.
Keiichi shook his head and grinned. What was it about that day? He
remembered Urd's antics... and her 'help' which had landed him hanging over
Mishima Sayoko. If the love potion hadn't given out at the last moment... he
would have... have... have...
The thought sputtered to a halt. What would he have done? It certainly
wasn't THAT incident that gave him that smile. Was it? The more he studied
the photo, the more the vague disquiet crept over him. It was just like when
he looked at the sky. The same strange anticipated pain that threatened that
had nothing to latch on to.
He frowned once more and padded softly around the temple as a thought
occurred to him. He found a photo album of the past year in his room and
brought it out with him to the porch to look at. He thumbed through it
slowly, studying his expression in each picture with great care.
Why were there so many blank photos? There was simply no subject in
them, just some badly focussed backgrounds. He knew he hadn't taken any
interest in landscape photography. If he had, he was certain he could've
taken better shots than these.
The other pictures only strengthened his feelings of disquiet. He
found dozens of pictures of himself. In each and every one, there was that
smile. That happy, satisfied and totally unfamiliar smile. In every photo
that he found that expression on his face, was a conspicuously empty spot
near him. Always. In each and every single photo. He stared at it in
confusion. There had been quite a number of weird things that had happened
to him in the past year, but he wasn't quite sure how to classify this.
An unfamiliar expression.
A blank space.
He looked up into the late afternoon sky again.
The empty spaces of the sky.
These indistinct feelings emptiness.
It was the blank spaces that kept drawing his eye. He felt them
relating to his own inexplicable sense of loss at his center. That somehow
something in them was what used to fill his life. Why did these empty spaces
seem to mean so much?
He looked through some more photos... there was one with him and the
goddesses just after he'd whipped Aoshima's behind at that race last year.
Again the smiling expression. Again the blank space right next to him. He
remembered vaguely that Skuld told him that she'd souped up Aoshima's bike
so the guy would win... it was understandable, of course since if Aoshima
had won, he'd've gotten... he would have... what? What would he have gotten?
His thoughts were interrupted as Skuld walked past him from the
garage. She was wiping the sweat on her brow onto her sleeve, she flashed
him a brief, sunny smile and said, "Keiichi, your bike's finished."
"Thanks, Skuld."
"Anytime." She gave him a puzzled expression then stopped to look over
his shoulder, "What're you doing?"
"Just looking over some old pictures."
He couldn't understand the melancholy look that passed across her
face, before it composed herself into the smile he'd become so used to. "Oh,
I see. It's good to see you're not just sunning yourself on the porch
again."
"Well, you can only do that so often." He shrugged.
"I guess," Her expression slipped for a moment as she glanced at the
photos, but covered it up quickly and said, "Well, I'm going to go clean up
for dinner."
"Alright."
She skipped off, moving deeper into the temple very quickly. He looked
bemusedly as Skuld passed him by. There was a time when she didn't like him
at all. He couldn't remember why, exactly. She was kind of a brat... but
after a while they did learn to get along, especially after last Christmas.
He smiled vaguely. When he'd worked himself practically into the ground. He
frowned. Why did he do that? Was there something he wanted? Did he and Skuld
start getting along because he gave her something? That answer felt almost
right... but no... not that either. He probably wouldn't have worked himself
into the ground just so Skuld and he could get along better, would he?
He shrugged the thought off and added to himself, besides, her company
was welcome too... the temple would've seemed lonelier if she hadn't been
here.
He felt it again. Now like a man grasping for something in the dark
for something he knows should be there but isn't quite where he
remembered... lonelier? In comparisson to what?
He stopped at that thought. Who had left the temple? No one else but
he had stayed here when the goddesses were together. He wet his lips as he
tried to remember. He'd had so many memories in the past year. Good, bad and
strange but he could find no answers in any of them. Nothing.
He got to his feet, an uncertain plan forming in his mind. He had to
know what this emptiness was. He needed to know. Clutching the album and the
framed photo to his chest, he walked purposely to his room. There were other
things he needed. The things that gave him these vague empty feelings.
Everything that made him think that there was something that wasn't there...
He could hear vague sounds of an argument coming from the kitchen, but
he was in a rush. He thought he could hear a few snatches of it."... tell
him already! He can feel it..." "... you want him more hurt than he already
is..." "He's already hurting..." "We can't. It's for his own good..."
Urd popped her head out of the kitchen as Keiichi rushed past, "Um...
hey, dinner's ready."
He smiled at her. "I think I might have to skip dinner... could you
just keep it warm for a while Urd? I might get hungry later, after all.
She frowned slightly as she absently wiped her hands on her apron,
"What? Where are you going?"
"I just have something to do. I'll be in my room." He caught a glimpse
of himself in the glass frame on a table. He was wearing that smile on his
own face. He knew he was on the right track.
Urd looked worriedly at him, "If you're sure... I guess Skuld and I
can just..."
"It'll be fine. I'm sure you did a great job on dinner, but this is
really urgent." He added silently, it smells good from here and it hasn't
tried to crawl out, so it's probably okay.
Skuld stepped out of the kitchen looking disraught, "Keiichi... what's
wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong Skuld." He held the album and the framed picture
tighter to his chest. "I think everything's going to be fine." He looked at
them both fondly and added, "Thanks for worrying. I really appreciate it."
As he rushed off to his room, he could swear he heard Skuld's voice
behind him, no doubt addressing her elder sister, "See? I told you... he's
snapped."
"How is he?"
"Same as last night. Still in his room."
Megumi put her hands on her hips and sighed, "What is wrong with him?"
The lady she addressed shifted uncomfortably, but flashed the girl a
bright smile, "It's nothing... he's probably just a little tired."
"That's not 'a little tired'! He's been like a vegetable all week.
Wanders around campus looking totally wasted half the time, cuts class the
other half. Doesn't want to do anything when he gets home but hide in his
room. We haven't seen him at the Auto Club in weeks. People are getting
worried." Megumi folded her arms across her chest then looked thoughtfully
at the woman... the exotically beautiful foreign woman who'd been living
with her brother all these months. Little whirring gears clacked around in
her head as certain thoughts and certain other thoughts added themselves up.
One guy and one girl and eight months living together came together and
added up to a single three letter word...
"What?" the woman asked, a little disturbed by Megumi's expression.
"Look," Megumi spoke hesitantly, "He's an adult and all, but he's
still my big brother-- and maybe it's not really any of my business-- "
A slightly confused expression on her face now, "Yes?"
Megumi's voice dropped, "Did you do something with my brother?"
"What do you--"
"I mean," Megumi made a few vague gestures and the embarrassment was
plain on her face, "Are you doing something-- with my brother? Like in...
um... bed?"
The woman's eyes widened as she began to get a glimmer of what Megumi
was trying to say. She gave an amused grin, "You mean sleeping?"
Megumi was both speaking very quickly and hesitantly, speaking in
stacatto bursts as fast as she could, her face was bright red at having to
ask, "Yeah-- together-- sleeping-- together-- in bed-- or wherever else--
cause that's okay too and-- I won't tell our mom and dad... but really--!"
The woman smiled again, but there was a hint of something else in her
eyes as she spoke. "I'm not doing anything of the sort with him."
"-- not that I'd know personally-- but you REALLY should let the guy
rest every so often-- cause otherwise he's going to be worn out all the time
if you keep him up all night doing-- uh, whatever-- totally tired-- JUST
like the way Keiichi is nowadays and... and..." she stuttered to a halt as
what the woman said finally caught up with her ears. "You aren't?"
"We aren't, I wouldn't dream of it."
Megumi looked skeptically at the woman for a long moment then nodded,
"Then its something else then." She glanced at the door leading to the porch
and nodded to herself, "It was kind of a silly thought I guess. I'm pretty
sure he'd look happier if he were actually getting som-- yeah."
The woman's face was impassive as she followed Megumi's glance, "Yes."
She sighed.
"I mean what with all the rumors last Christmas and the rumors going
around now?" Megumi added glumly.
"What're the new ones?"
"That you know... he got some girl pregnant and now they're saying
he's been depressed cause... she miscarried or something..."
Urd laughed, "Whoo-boy! That's an unlikely one."
Megumi nodded, "So... do you know what's wrong with him?"
"We're not sure, really. Skuld and I barely see him around the temple
anymore." She folded her arms, "He stays in his room all day, darts out to
grab stuff from some of the other rooms, then heads back in and locks
himself in."
"Haven't you tried going in there to find out what's going on?"
She sighed, "We've tried. Last time we did, he screamed at us to get
out."
"He... my brother raised his voice?"
"He was pretty furious." Urd nodded, "Skuld was beside herself all
week."
Skuld stepped out of the kitchen, "I heard my name?"
"We were just worrying about Keiichi."
"Oh." Skuld sighed and flashed Urd a glance that Megumi couldn't read.
Her expression suddenly changed to one of annoyance, "The tea cups are
missing."
"I saw Keiichi pick them up last night." Urd replied.
"Oh." Skuld sighed. "Well, so much for that. We've already lost half
the cutlery to him."
Megumi frowned, "Aren't you two worried that he's going to do
something drastic? Maybe all the pressure from school finally got to him?"
Urd and Skuld exchanged looks again and both replied, "Probably not."
"That does it! I'm his sister, I'm going to talk to him!" With that,
she stormed off towards his room.
Urd sighed as they began to follow her, "Well, that'll be the easiest
way for her to learn not to bother him."
"I still say we should've told him. Maybe it wouldn't have come to
this." Skuld gave her sister a worried look.
"I'm starting to think you may be right."
Megumi pulled Keiichi's door open without and the lecture she was
intending to deliver died in her throat. His room was a total mess. All
over, small scattered pieces of paper, like confetti littered the room. Near
the window was a huge pile of junk attached to a large pane of glass.
Keiichi, who was sitting in the middle of it all, wearing a vague
little smile glanced over his shoulder at her. "Oh. Hi, Megumi."
"Hi, Megumi? Hi MEGUMI?! That's all you have to say to me after making
me and everyone else worry?"
His face was tranquil as he turned to face the glass pane. "I'm done.
I found the shape of it. The emptiness..."
Megumi frowned. Urd and Skuld stood behind her, peering around, trying
to see what it was that Keiichi was talking about.
He beckoned them in, motioning them near where he sat.
All three filed into the room, taking the clutter in.
Urd tried to speak, "Keii-"
Keiichi shushed her, "No... just look" He gestured to the pane of
glass.
The two goddesses gasped. Megumi simply stared at the stack of
cutlery, cloth, and paper in bewilderment. She tilted her head a little to
the right, then she saw it. Like one of those magic eye paintings that you
had to be looking at just right to see it clearly.
It was the figure of a tall, slender woman, wearing a sweater and a
long skirt. Her hands were clasped in front of her as if in prayer. On her
fingers was a small but obviously expensive ring. Her face in calm repose,
but with a small, tranquil smile. She seemed to glow and about her head was
a halo.
If the eye lingered to long on any single detail, she would suddenly
become no more than her components... the skirt was an old futon from that
room no one used. The sweater, that hand-knitted one Keiichi always wore.
Her halo was made of knives and forks and her feet from teacups. Her face
was a mosaic of cut up photographs. But taken together...
"Wow." Megumi breathed. "It's beautiful."
"Yes... she is. I can almost remember now..." Keiichi said quietly.
"So many of memories, all of her. She brought out that smile. I know... I
really know now..."
Urd and Skuld simply kept quiet in the background. Tears were
trickling down Skuld's face.
"We didn't have to tell him..." Urd murmured.
Skuld simply shook her head.
The light from the setting sun kept Keiichi's creation aglow and for a
moment, they could all swear the figure moved... preparing to step off of
the reflective glass pane to which she was affixed.
The end
=====
w.o.m
TimeRunner's Web Page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482.
=====
"George used to say, 'You can have more than one emotion at the same time.
The one makes the other more acute, and then it cures it."
- Alex, Aspects of Love