% Warr wrote:
And here it is, amazingly within the two week time-period I predicted
Wai! I so happy! Mostly comments for comedic value or general thoughts
and a couple errors that I found.
%Got it
square centimeter of it. One of the handles near the top was cracked,
making holding the object by anything other than the bottom an
impossibility.
You think that's impressive? Just wait until you see the actual Device
O' Evil.
% Actually, the crappy urn was the device. Evil things in innocent packages
and whatnot.
And it was at the center of the museum where things truly began.
65 Million Years ago, in this room, the first enzyme was born.
% That too.
Tai bounced into the room, constantly looking over her shoulder for any
sign of pursuit.
Pursuit of evil, scary, cute... uh, EVIL, lesbians.
You already said evil...
% Heh
Shampoo was somewhere else in the building, cursing her lack of wind. It
really was her own fault. Lately, she had been taking it easy and eating
way too many Twinkies. Her pack a day cigarette habit hadn't helped
things,
either.
lol. Too bad she hadn't been down in the sewers. Could have made comments
on her having the big butt.
% Nah. Ukyou's butt's bigger. Shampoo's thighs are larger, though.
"You're not little and I wouldn't personally describe you as a weirdo
either."
"What about the rest?"
It's pretty close. She forgot to mention your large butt...
% Heh. Even Ranma isn't quite that bad.
"Let's see who this fake Konatsu really is." Kodachi moved forward and
ripped off the kunoichi's mask. "Look, it's the owner of the haunted
amusement park!" she gasped.
"I don't own a haunted amusement park," Mai protested.
hehe, this came about from our earlier comments, didn't it?
% Nah. Was planning it from the beginning. That way when she does it when
Takayami enters the room, she's actually right about him being behind
everything. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for
those meddling kids and ninjas.
Konatsu moved forward and joined in the poking. "Say, I think you're
right.
Isn't it possible you might have been raised by women and only taught to
think and act like a girl and you're really a guy?"
lol. And as long as he's only poking her chest...
% Yep. He's not that aggressive.
tree disagreed, and we were hurled bodily out of the ship somewhere over
France. We survived by working with a troupe of circus midgets until we
stumbled onto a cave of time and were sent into the past. After many
adventures, we eventually made our way to ancient Japan and had ourselves
cryogenically frozen until we were revived several years ago." B.J. let
out
a long breath as she finished her tale.
Why does the coconut/body hair thing sound so familiar?
% Same thing happen to you too? :)
"Wow! The exact same thing happened to me," Ryouga said.
If cryogenic freezing can cause Mr. Bigglesworth to lose his hair... it
might
be the reason for Ryoga's sense o' direction.
% Nah. Like his parents before him, it's genetic.
"Ahhhhh! Tai squealed at the top of her lungs. "It's the evil Amazon
lesbian, hunting me to ground at last. Oh woe is me. No doubt she has
already made insidious plans to chain me up and make me her sexual
plaything."
Hunting me to ground?
% It's just a creative way for her to phrase it.
hunting me down Tai sounds like she's just
voicing perfunctory complaints.
[hands Shampoo a note] Oh woe! Oh insidious lesbian! Stay away!
[note reads: Meet me out back in ten minutes.]
% Heh
"Hey, Shampoo, I turn into a really attractive girl, so you still want to
be married to me, right?" Ranma asked, his sex appeal suddenly in
jeopardy.
There's the ego again.
% Yep. Not a good day for Ranma's ego by any stretch of the imagination.
Ukyou recoiled in horror. "Oh god! I've been in public baths with her
before. She was probably sizing me up and coming up with all sorts of lewd
thoughts about my nubile body."
Actually, it was Kodachi who commented on her butt...
% Heh.
A flick of Tai's wrist and a chain appeared in her hand. She swung it
around once, then hurled it around Akane. One quick tug later, Akane found
herself hurled across the room and in front of Tai. "Here," Tai said as
she
thrust Akane before her. "Take this raging bull dyke instead. She'll make
you almost as happy as I could, if I was a lesbian."
lol, "I'm not a lesbian... but I could make you SO happy if I was!"
% Basically. Tai's not all that much better in the ego department than
Ranma is.
"I see. Do you own any kd Lang CDs?"
"Several."
Ani DiFranco?
All of her albums.
Watch X-Files for Scully or Mulder?
Scully.
% Hehehehehe. Not bad. Hadn't thought of those, but they could have fit
too.
"Chris Davies and Jim Bader?"
"Literary gods."
Mwahaha
% The final nail in the coffin, to be sure.
"Fine," Kunou said from his position on the ground. "I'll just become gay.
Then we will be perfect for one another in our homosexuality."
Thus sayeth the idiot.
% It makes sense, in a backward kind of way.
"Sexy Ninja Girl Attack: Blinding Style!" The glare from the overhead
lights shone off the sequins of her outfit, reflecting the light a
hundredfold. It produced a bright glare, equivalent to a hundred kilowatt
lightbulb and blinding her opponents, causing them to all recoil from
their
sudden lack of sight.
Did she turn on the light or uncover her glittery outfit here?
% Oops. Should have mentioned that there were sequins on the outfit before
that. It's a phase she's going through with bright, shiny clothing.
Mousse, though unable to see anything, was calmer than the others. "The
joke's on you, ninjettes. I'm used to not being able to see clearly. Now
*sprays Mousse in face with mace*
Ahhh! I'm blind, I'm blind! ...
% Mousse: No. I already fell for that once. They'd have to try a different
sneaky ninja trick to pull a fast one over me. Like throwing a paper bag
over my head or something.
prepare to pay for your foolish attack!" A throwing club was brought out
>from the folds of his robes. He drew back, blindly smacking Ranma in the
head with it, before releasing the club in the direction of where he
thought his opponents should be.
Yup.
After hitting Konatsu with the first one, Mousse's second throwing club
was
more on target.
More damage than good.
% Of course. Good intentions frequently fall victim to poor planning here.
"Do me a favor. I have to continue reprimanding my sister here, so could
you hold this candle for a moment." Mai handed Ranma a long red object
with
a burning string on the end. He accepted it, and she hurriedly backed away
>from him.
What is this? Luney Toons?
% Mai: Where every good ninja gets at least half of their sneaky tricks.
Just look at how clever Bugs Bunny is in pulling fast ones over all of his
opponents. He's an idol, you know.
"Ranma! That's not a candle! It's a stick of dynamite!" Konatsu shouted
>from across the room.
Ninja training!
% Yep. Natsu's pulled that one before too.
"Truly they are tricky ninjas." Konatsu bowed in admiration to Mai, who
bowed back in deference to him.
Truly, they are ?
% Hmm. Not sure.
Ryouga looked up to defend himself, then saw what had laid so many of
Tai's
opponents low. Her lacy thong panties had ridden up so high, that Ryouga
couldn't help but seeing clearly what was outlined within. That combined
with the implication that he might 'get some' of it later, and the vivid
fantasy that accompanied it, completely overwhelmed him as he hit the
ground and passed out from the sight.
And in a scene paralleling the opening scene.
A 'spike' shot up and Tai had to flip over and halt her forward motion to
avoid being impaled...
% Heheehehehe. Very nice.
"Hey, this one's mine! I'm saving him for later, after we complete out
mission!"
Is hogtie one word? or is it hog-tie
% Hmm. Might be the latter.
"Keep away, Bull Dyke," Tai warned. "I'm only interested in guys,
especially strapping young men like this one." Her hand drifted towards
the
Akane: Ryouga? He's got muscles, I'll grant you that, but have you seen
him at the public baths?
% Cute.
"Unless Kodachi Kunou forgets to let go of the live wire she's holding,"
Tai said dryly as she threw the switch to the power box that her sister
had
failed to make it to.
Blah, ending sentence w/ a preposition. failed to reach.
% I do it all the time (though I know it's frowned upon) Will change this
one though
Konatsu crossed his arms confidently. "No. I'm just in touch with my
feminine side."
Besides, blue doesn't suit you.
% That too.
"Thanks," Konatsu said through gritted teeth. "Allow me to return the
favor. Konatsu's Super Secret Sneaky Ninja Attack: The Titty Twist!"
Konatsu's hands shot forward, firmly grasping Tai's twin mounds. He
twisted
them hard enough to nearly make a full revolution with his wrists.
Isn't he supposed to grab her nipples and twist?
% Heard it was painful either way. One might be worse than the other,
though. Didn't ask for specifics.
The real Shampoo began to panic as she found herself driven into a corner
by Mousse and the sword wielding impostor (Did her thighs really look that
big though? If so, it was definitely time to cut back on the Twinkies).
Where did the thigh comment come from?
% From Shampoo. I rephrased it so it's more obvious.
"That's the oxygen deprivation. You're going to start seeing spots in a
moment and then it'll get darker. Sometimes you'll even hear voices of
people that have been dead a long time."
"Okay... Shampoo... get... point. Will... no... glomp... Ranma...
anymore."
For at least three or four days.
LOL
% Like I said, I didn't want any real advancement or resolution by any of
the characters in this. :)
"Don't remind me. Let me try to move around here." Akane shifted slightly.
"Yuck. This webbing is pretty tight and really moist."
"*Gasp* Akane, that not *Gasp* webbing you fingers *Gasp* in right now."
"Oh, sorry."
"No, don't stop."
% :)
Mai looked up into the face of her savior, who was currently laying on top
of her, his hands directly on her breasts. It was the Ranma boy.
Finally! Someone grabs me instead of my sister.
% That would have been cute too, save for the later speech.
"No," Mai said casually.
"How about bigger tits?"
"Oooh, hmm, would they be real? NO!"
% Heh. Unlike Lina, Mai's not ashamed of her size. It's the rest of the
world that judges her unfairly, at least that's what she says.
with evil cursed objects. Oh yeah, he ruined your parking lots too."
Yep. Nice and gentle.
Actually, the parking lot was always tiny.
% But not that tiny. Takayami was just being excessively evil in making the
parking even worse that it was to begin with.
Welp, thus ends the tale. Is there going to be a sequel? : ) Pretty
please?
% No. No plans for it currently, but who knows how the muse works. One
might come to me in a flash. Might use the TSN in something else too. Never
know.
Looking forward to your next project, whatever it is.
% Not sure what it is yet either. Got a lot of ideas to work with, not sure
which one I want to use. Got the start of several written out, just got to
figure out which one I want to start on.
% Thanks for all of the comments. They've been very useful.
% D.B. Sommer