And here it is, amazingly within the two week time-period I predicted
Wai! I so happy! Mostly comments for comedic value or general thoughts
and a couple errors that I found.
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It was at the exact center of the museum that the ancient object lay. It
was out in the open, standing upright in the middle of a raised dais that
was composed of the purest crystal in the world. Thousands of ancient
symbols were engraved upon each of the raised steps leading to the center
of the dais. Various gemstones, magically altered into a liquid state,
filled each of the engraved runes making each a different color, ranging
>from abyssal black to the deepest azure to colors that the human mind could
scarcely comprehend as they shimmered impossibly in the light. A skylight
was poised above the platform, shining unfiltered moonlight directly
through glass made of solid air, illuminating majestically the single
object that rested in the exact center of crystal dais. It was an ancient
urn, unlike everything else in the room, haggard looking and worn. It had a
sickly earthen color about it, and numerous small cracks lined nearly every
square centimeter of it. One of the handles near the top was cracked,
making holding the object by anything other than the bottom an
impossibility.
You think that's impressive? Just wait until you see the actual Device
O' Evil.
And it was at the center of the museum where things truly began.
65 Million Years ago, in this room, the first enzyme was born.
Tai bounced into the room, constantly looking over her shoulder for any
sign of pursuit.
Pursuit of evil, scary, cute... uh, EVIL, lesbians.
You already said evil...
Shampoo was somewhere else in the building, cursing her lack of wind. It
really was her own fault. Lately, she had been taking it easy and eating
way too many Twinkies. Her pack a day cigarette habit hadn't helped things,
either.
lol. Too bad she hadn't been down in the sewers. Could have made comments
on her having the big butt. Take that how you will.
"That's right. I don't..." The rest of the words died in Ukyou's mouth as
she shot Ranma a nasty look. "Hey! What about the rest of the stuff?"
"You're not little and I wouldn't personally describe you as a weirdo
either."
"What about the rest?"
It's pretty close. She forgot to mention your large butt...
"Let's see who this fake Konatsu really is." Kodachi moved forward and
ripped off the kunoichi's mask. "Look, it's the owner of the haunted
amusement park!" she gasped.
"I don't own a haunted amusement park," Mai protested.
hehe, this came about from our earlier comments, didn't it?
Konatsu moved forward and joined in the poking. "Say, I think you're right.
Isn't it possible you might have been raised by women and only taught to
think and act like a girl and you're really a guy?"
lol. And as long as he's only poking her chest...
"You got that right," B.J. agreed. "Now we had a nice normal upbringing.
Born in an Icelandic rainforest, we were abducted by New Zealand
Conquistadors at the age of three. For several years we were raised by them
until we were lost at sea, eventually ending up washed ashore on an island
with a bunch of dinosaurs that were too stupid to realize they were
supposed to be extinct for centuries. After hiding in caves for a year, we
escaped on a boat made up of nothing but coconuts and tied together with
our own body hair. We were about to drown at sea when we were picked up by
a weird-looking space ship that was made out of wood. We were supposed to
be transported safely to Japan, but our idiotic sister thought carving our
initials on the tree in the center of the ship was a good idea. The space
tree disagreed, and we were hurled bodily out of the ship somewhere over
France. We survived by working with a troupe of circus midgets until we
stumbled onto a cave of time and were sent into the past. After many
adventures, we eventually made our way to ancient Japan and had ourselves
cryogenically frozen until we were revived several years ago." B.J. let out
a long breath as she finished her tale.
Why does the coconut/body hair thing sound so familiar?
"Wow! The exact same thing happened to me," Ryouga said.
If cryogenic freezing can cause Mr. Bigglesworth to lose his hair... it might
be the reason for Ryoga's sense o' direction.
"Ahhhhh! Tai squealed at the top of her lungs. "It's the evil Amazon
lesbian, hunting me to ground at last. Oh woe is me. No doubt she has
already made insidious plans to chain me up and make me her sexual
plaything."
Hunting me to ground? hunting me down Tai sounds like she's just
voicing perfunctory complaints.
[hands Shampoo a note] Oh woe! Oh insidious lesbian! Stay away!
[note reads: Meet me out back in ten minutes.]
"Hey, Shampoo, I turn into a really attractive girl, so you still want to
be married to me, right?" Ranma asked, his sex appeal suddenly in jeopardy.
There's the ego again.
Ukyou recoiled in horror. "Oh god! I've been in public baths with her
before. She was probably sizing me up and coming up with all sorts of lewd
thoughts about my nubile body."
Actually, it was Kodachi who commented on her butt...
A flick of Tai's wrist and a chain appeared in her hand. She swung it
around once, then hurled it around Akane. One quick tug later, Akane found
herself hurled across the room and in front of Tai. "Here," Tai said as she
thrust Akane before her. "Take this raging bull dyke instead. She'll make
you almost as happy as I could, if I was a lesbian."
lol, "I'm not a lesbian... but I could make you SO happy if I was!"
"I see. Do you own any kd Lang CDs?"
"Several."
Ani DiFranco?
All of her albums.
Watch X-Files for Scully or Mulder?
Scully.
"Chris Davies and Jim Bader?"
"Literary gods."
Mwahaha
"Fine," Kunou said from his position on the ground. "I'll just become gay.
Then we will be perfect for one another in our homosexuality."
Thus sayeth the idiot.
"Sexy Ninja Girl Attack: Blinding Style!" The glare from the overhead
lights shone off the sequins of her outfit, reflecting the light a
hundredfold. It produced a bright glare, equivalent to a hundred kilowatt
lightbulb and blinding her opponents, causing them to all recoil from their
sudden lack of sight.
Did she turn on the light or uncover her glittery outfit here?
Mousse, though unable to see anything, was calmer than the others. "The
joke's on you, ninjettes. I'm used to not being able to see clearly. Now
*sprays Mousse in face with mace*
Ahhh! I'm blind, I'm blind! ...
prepare to pay for your foolish attack!" A throwing club was brought out
>from the folds of his robes. He drew back, blindly smacking Ranma in the
head with it, before releasing the club in the direction of where he
thought his opponents should be.
Yup.
After hitting Konatsu with the first one, Mousse's second throwing club was
more on target.
More damage than good.
"Do me a favor. I have to continue reprimanding my sister here, so could
you hold this candle for a moment." Mai handed Ranma a long red object with
a burning string on the end. He accepted it, and she hurriedly backed away
>from him.
What is this? Luney Toons?
"Ranma! That's not a candle! It's a stick of dynamite!" Konatsu shouted
>from across the room.
Ninja training!
"Truly they are tricky ninjas." Konatsu bowed in admiration to Mai, who
bowed back in deference to him.
Truly, they are ?
Ranma was left lying flat on his back as the battle was truly joined. Ukyou
and Kunou formed in unlikely team as the chef threw mini-spatulas in B.J.'s
formed an unlikely team
Ryouga moved in to help Akane. Tai saw this and said, "Hey, Hanger. Play
your cards right and you might get some of this later." She did a leap kick
in the air towards him.
Ryouga looked up to defend himself, then saw what had laid so many of Tai's
opponents low. Her lacy thong panties had ridden up so high, that Ryouga
couldn't help but seeing clearly what was outlined within. That combined
with the implication that he might 'get some' of it later, and the vivid
fantasy that accompanied it, completely overwhelmed him as he hit the
ground and passed out from the sight.
And in a scene paralleling the opening scene.
A 'spike' shot up and Tai had to flip over and halt her forward motion to
avoid being impaled...
Tai landed next to his unconscious form. "That's the first time I knocked
out someone without kicking them. Hmm." She took a closer look at Ryouga, A
wicked grin spread across her face as she pulled out a length of steel
cable, flipped Ryouga onto his stomach, then proceeded to hog tie his arms
and legs behind him. Satisfied at the results, she shouted to her sisters,
"Hey, this one's mine! I'm saving him for later, after we complete out
mission!"
Is hogtie one word? or is it hog-tie
"Keep away, Bull Dyke," Tai warned. "I'm only interested in guys,
especially strapping young men like this one." Her hand drifted towards the
Akane: Ryouga? He's got muscles, I'll grant you that, but have you seen
him at the public baths?
area of Ryouga's groin. "Here, let me show you how straight I am by
demonstrating what I like to do with a hanging hunk of studmuffin like
this." Tai undid the drawstring on Ryouga's pants and pulled them down to
his knees.
But since this isn't a lemon, Tai does not get to perform her little
'demonstration.'
But all the fighting came to a sudden halt when a large piece of flesh came
into their peripheral view.
"Eh?" It was too late for Kunou as he was distracted enough for B.J. to lay
three solid punches into his jaw and kicked him twice in the head, stunning
him.
kick him twice
All thoughts of attacking burned away in the flames of passion that
overrode Mousse's senses. He could barely force himself to look in the
direction of the voice. "Sh... Shampoo?"
All thoughts of attack burned away
"Unless Kodachi Kunou forgets to let go of the live wire she's holding,"
Tai said dryly as she threw the switch to the power box that her sister had
failed to make it to.
Blah, ending sentence w/ a preposition. failed to reach.
Konatsu crossed his arms confidently. "No. I'm just in touch with my
feminine side."
Besides, blue doesn't suit you.
"Thanks," Konatsu said through gritted teeth. "Allow me to return the
favor. Konatsu's Super Secret Sneaky Ninja Attack: The Titty Twist!"
Konatsu's hands shot forward, firmly grasping Tai's twin mounds. He twisted
them hard enough to nearly make a full revolution with his wrists.
Isn't he supposed to grab her nipples and twist?
"ARGH! Not... into... pain," Tai gasped out as she fell onto her back in
agony.
Took me a second to realize she meant S&M.
The real Shampoo began to panic as she found herself driven into a corner
by Mousse and the sword wielding impostor (Did her thighs really look that
big though? If so, it was definitely time to cut back on the Twinkies).
Where did the thigh comment come from?
"Yeah," Ranma said casually. "The initial loss of breath is the hardest
part. If you get caught off-guard like that, it all gets pushed out of your
lungs and then you can't breath any more for the duration of the glomp."
"It... getting... dark."
"That's the oxygen deprivation. You're going to start seeing spots in a
moment and then it'll get darker. Sometimes you'll even hear voices of
people that have been dead a long time."
"Okay... Shampoo... get... point. Will... no... glomp... Ranma... anymore."
For at least three or four days.
LOL
"Don't remind me. Let me try to move around here." Akane shifted slightly.
"Yuck. This webbing is pretty tight and really moist."
"*Gasp* Akane, that not *Gasp* webbing you fingers *Gasp* in right now."
"Oh, sorry."
"No, don't stop."
one of the exhibits. "Just that now that you've worn each other out, and
it's almost midnight, I shall be taking over the world the world shortly."
The world the world is nooooooootttt enough, but it is such a perfect place
to start, my love. And if you're stroooonngg enough, ... Uh, sorry. Garbage
and Bond, gotta love it. Anywho, you repeated the world
Mai looked up into the face of her savior, who was currently laying on top
of her, his hands directly on her breasts. It was the Ranma boy.
Finally! Someone grabs me instead of my sister.
"Hey, could someone cut my bonds loose? I'm sort of too tied up to break
out of this," Ryouga protested.
second sentence awkward. I can't break free? I can't get leverage to break
out of this?
Collectively, nine of the most powerful martial artists in the world
assailed Takayami with ki reinforced weapons: bokken, shurikens, ribbon,
hammer, bonbori, chains, spatula, leap kick, and magical two handed sword.
You used two-handed before
"I've toyed around with the idea of leaving some of you alive to witness my
triumph, but I'd rather not be cliché. Goodbye, you insignificant fleas."
Takayami raised his hand and built up the wave force again.
but after your rant about my being passé, I'm just going to kill you outright
and avoid the normal cliché.
"No," Mai said casually.
"How about bigger tits?"
"Oooh, hmm, would they be real? NO!"
with evil cursed objects. Oh yeah, he ruined your parking lots too."
Yep. Nice and gentle.
Actually, the parking lot was always tiny.
Tai gave her burden, the bound and gagged, Ryouga, a sexy look then primped
her hair. "I'm going to show the stud some of my more flexible techniques,
the bound and gagged Ryouga, a sexy
"Yeah, yeah. No problem," B.J. said nonchalantly. "Just get our diplomas
ready, because the next time you see the Three Sexy Ninja Girls, we'll be
should that be 'see these Three Sexy Ninja Girls,' ?
Welp, thus ends the tale. Is there going to be a sequel? : ) Pretty please?
Looking forward to your next project, whatever it is.
Warr
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My webpage, front page updated 1/7/99:
http://welcome.to/nifflheim or
http://members.xoom.com/Tengpow/front.html
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As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my
inner sociopath.