----- Original Message -----
From: Douglas MacDougall <dougmacd@dougmacd.net>
To: Slacker <r_heins@yahoo.com>
Cc: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Friday, April 28, 2000 6:39 PM
Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Ranma/SM] "All the Small Things--Chapter 2"
C&C Below. Snippage throughout.
(This copy is from the webpage.)
[...]
Ready? Let's do it!
***************************************
All The Small Things-Chapter 2
A Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 fanfiction
By: Slacker(r_heins@yahoo.com)
***************************************
Previously on our program:
[...]
Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo, Ranma had woken Nabiki up at 3 a.m. to ask
her
help to "run away from home." (This is also known as a "hook".)
It's known as Out Of Character behavior. Although I'll
give you the benefit of the doubt that Ranma's reasons
will be explained in this chapter.
Now on with our fic!
***************************************
Tendo Dojo, 3 am, Nabiki's room.
Nabiki thought she was pretty much Unable to be shocked. She was wrong.
The
fact that she was sitting there staring at Ranma without saying a word
kinda
proved the point.
cap: unable
(Why did you capitalize this?)
Unshockable seems like a better word choice here. The phrase unable to be
shocked just doesn't seem to flow right.
<snip rest>
Kheram Coldstar
kheram@crosswinds.net
http://www.crosswinds.net/~kheram/
"You have been tried by Time and by Time found wanting. Your sentence,
Oblivion"
Kheram Coldstar