COMING SOON ...

The belief-defying FINAL CHAPTER of the exciting saga of ...
THE REPLACEMENT RANMAS!

   TENCHI MASAKI:  I am so doomed.

   SHINJI IKARI:  I must run away.  I must run away.

In a non-stop chapter full of thrills ...

   YOSHO:  The Killer Fungi from Yuggoth.

... spills ...

   [A young woman jump-kicks the AUTHOR in the chin.]

... and pills.

   [GOURRY GABRIEV holds an egg up to his ear, listening to it.]

See the battle of old friends!

   NOA IZUMI:  My Alphonse could take out your EVA any day.

   ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU:  WHAT?!

See familiar faces as you've never seen them before!

   MINAKO AINO:  I think she's kind of cute this way.  [She strokes
   SETSUNA MEIOU's head, and SETSUNA purrs.]

See our heroes face implacable new foes!

   [KAJI RYOJI holds up a sign saying 'I'm just a cuddly li'l
   penguin.']

And see the long-awaited return of ... the REAL CAST!

   SOUN TENDO:  Prepare to face the awful wrath of --

   GENMA SAOTOME:  -- The combined schools of Anything-Goes Martial
   Arts!

   [RANMA SAOTOME flies out the door of Ucchan's, screaming in terror,
   and lands head-first in a pile of unconscious bodies.]

Yes, it's the end of an epic:  "The Replacement Ranmas", Chapter Seven!
Coming soon to a mailing list near you!

   KODACHI KUNO [holding up a can of Franco-American Spaghetti]:
   Shall we resume ...?