Yay!
Um... let me qualify that. I'm happy to see another chapter, but I'm not
happy that this is the last one...
Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, oh, so is Urusei Yatsura.
Juxtaposition
--------------
Chapter 6: I Left Her Panties in Tomobiki
------------------------------------------
Ataru stood in the center of the Tendo dojo, a pile of female undergarments
stacked beside him. His eyes were closed and his arms were held straight
outward. He clasped his hands together, a bunched up cotton panty held
bunched-up
between his palms. Ataru opened his eyes and sighed. "Are you sure this is
going to work?"
"Of course this is going to work, son! The panty will magnify your
lecherous energy 100-fold. It's the most powerful technique I've ever
{suggest} a hundredfold.
developed."
"If it's so powerful, why don't you do it!" Ataru threw the panty at
it?" {or} it?!"
Happosai. He had been holed up in the dojo for days, practicing this
'technique' to no avail. Now, a day away from the fight, he was starting to
get a little frustrated.
{It builds character. :) }
The bubble exploded and a wave of energy slammed into Ataru, tossing him
into the dojo wall and knocking him out completely. Tears streaming down
his eyes, Happosai stared at the burnt remains of the panty in his hand.
{suggest} streaming from his eyes {or} streaming down his face
"Oh the sacrifice. . . the pain. . . the HUMANITY!" He walked to Ataru's
prone form and slapped him on the face a few times.
"I'm all right, I'm all right!"
"You? Who cares about you?" Happosai sniffed. "Perfectly good underwear,
destroyed before its time."
{hehe! Gotta have your priorities straight, yup yup.}
"I used the Happo-Panty Bubble Burst technique on you."
{Very original-flavor attack, I think.}
"Why don't you show it to me on more time?" Ataru suggested. "But this
me one more
Happosai thrusts his open palms in front of Ataru's face. "I will not
thrust
"Kasumi-chan!" As soon as he looked at Kasumi, a familiar pink glow grew
from between Ataru's hands. The glow grew quickly and the panty stretched
to its limit.
{heh! OK, I see what his problem is. Cute. :) }
As the wizened old martial arts master flew through the dojo wall, Ataru ran
up to Kasumi and grabbed her hands. "Kasumi-chan, maybe we can go out later
tonight, eh?" He giggled happily. "You're not busy or anything are you?"
anything, are
Ranma spun in mid air as the bullets whizzed by him. He landed and jumped
up once more, as the ground beneath his feet tore and became riddled with
holes. (Damn, I think she's enjoying this a little too much!)
"You won't get away that easily!" Benten let out a hysterical laugh as she
tried to keep Ranma in her machine gun's sight, her finger never leaving the
trigger.
{heh. I can just see this. Benten's idea of fun and Ranma's idea of
training come together...}
"Patience, Lum, patience. Let me finish my tea." Nabiki took a slow,
languorous sip from her cup. "Never interrupt a good meal by talking about
business. It can lead to indigestion." Nabiki didn't believe this, of
course, but keeping an eager client waiting was a habit of sorts. She set
her cup down on the table with a soft clink. "Okay. You want to marry
Ataru, but he's engaged to me or to one my sisters. My sisters and I don't
or to one of {?}
-want- to marry Ataru, but one of us will end up having to because of family
honor. I figure there is a way we can help each other out." Nabiki paused.
"But it will take a bit of cash."
"I'll ask my parents for a year-long advance on my allowance! They have the
resources. What is your plan?" Lum demanded.
{ What the heck is Nabiki going to do with oni money? :) }
"Pardon me, miss. I'm here to take your panties, but would you be
interested in a date?" Ataru snagged the pair of clean panties that were
hung out to dry on the apartment windowsill as he waited for a response.
The scream was deafening and Ataru managed to dodge the shoe, book, and
clock that were thrown his way.
{Poor Ataru. Poor Happosai. Their styles just aren't compatible. :) }
"Ah, yes. It seems, for the time being, you need the proper motivation to
tap into your lechery. So, instead of trying to find your inner-lecher,
inner lecher
think about the girl you want the most, look at her if she's around, even
carry a picture of her, and that should do the trick."
"Oh, so -that's- what happened when I was talking to Kasumi!" Ataru
released. "It felt sorta strange."
{suggest} Ataru exclaimed.
"It's arousing and climactic at the same time. Like feeling the two end
points of passion as they meet in the middle."
{ Now there's an image I can do without... :) }
"Daddy, can you sign this for me, please?"
"Certainly, Nabiki. What is it?"
"Oh, just some tax documents, property assessment, things like that."
"Very well. It's good to have a daughter who is responsible for such
things."
{ Not exactly canon, considering what Soun said about being afraid that
Nabiki would sell the dojo and split with the proceeds if she ever got
the chance, but what the heck. }
"I'm not here for that, I want to buy another picture of the pig-tailed
cutie!"
pigtailed
"The best one, huh?" Nabiki's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "I know -just-
the one you want. It's going to cost you though."
you, though."
Nabiki walked to her desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a think manila
a thick manila
envelope. "I have a lot of copies of this one." She opened the envelope,
reached inside and pulled out a picture. "Here. Will this suit your
needs?" She handed the picture to Ataru.
"Oh. . . yes." Ataru licked his lips. "This will be perfect."
{ Oh, my. }
"Good luck on your fight, lad. We'll get together later and celebrate!"
Happosai cackled.
"You're not staying for the fight, Grandfather?"
"No, I'm afraid not. I have my rounds to make. Bye!" Happosai bounced
away, a large empty black bag carried over his shoulder.
{ Convenient. }
Genma straightened his glasses. "Let's get started then." As a group, they
walked out of the house to the Tendo yard where Ranma and Lum where waiting
were waiting
for them.
"You don't have to do this, ya know. Just give up and marry Lum."
Ataru puffed out his chest. "For the honor of the Saotome School of
Anything Goes Martial Arts, I -must- fight!"
{ "And my harem, too." :) }
"Nice breeze." Ranma growled and used his forward momentum to move into a
low spin kicked aimed at Ataru's legs. Ataru had already straightened his
spin kick
body, however, and jumped straight up, kicking his legs out wide. "Oops.
Missed again!"
Akane nodded her head. "Ranma's right, though. Ataru doesn't stand a
chance if just dodges all the time. Ranma isn't going anywhere near all out
if he just {...} all-out {?}
yet."
"Oh my. Do you think Ataru will use Grandfather Happosai's technique then?"
technique, then?"
Akane blinked and looked Kasumi. "You mean the old pervert actually taught
him something?"
"Oh yes! It was rather. . . impressive."
Akane turned back to the fight. (Ranma. . . be careful.)
***********************************************
Ranma ran forward and jumped over Ataru's head. The second he landed, he
jumped straight back up again. Ataru, who was still in the midst of turning
around, looked up as Ranma belted him across the jaw. He flew across the
yard and landed on the ground in crumpled heap.
"Darling!" Lum gasped.
{ You might want to add a little text on Lum's conflicted feelings here:
on the one hand, her Darling is getting pulped by Ranma... but on the
other hand, getting him pulped keeps him from going on a date with
another. But would she hold it against Ranma anyway? }
"Don't worry, Lum. I didn't hit him too hard." Ranma smiled and slowly
walked towards Ataru. "Mid-air combat, Ataru. It is the specialty of
-your- school. You spend too much time starin' at girls' chests; ya need to
look up once in a while."
{ heh! Good point, very plausible. :) }
Ataru reached into his pants pocket and took out a pair of panties and
slightly crumpled photograph. It was the one he had bought from Nabiki the
and a slightly
"With -this- I can finally date the pig-tailed cutie!" Ataru looked at the
picture once more and closed his eyes. A familiar warmth spread through out
throughout
his body and small pink glow grew in his hands.
and a small
The panty in Ataru's hand tore and a blast of lecherous ki collided with
Ranma's confidence-based attack. The two blasts cancelled each other out,
and Ranma smiled. "I don't know what the old freak did to ya, but if ya can
use your ki, then isn't any reason for me to hold back, is there?" Ranma
stepped forward and confidence swelled within him. "Moko Takabisha!"
{ Endgame! /me munches popcorn }
The attack was larger this time, but Ataru was ready. He dodged to the side
and pulled another panty out of his pocket.
{ I think you can omit this para break.}
He looked at Akane and Kasumi then glanced back at the picture in his other
hand. The pink glow grew more quickly this time and Ataru grinned
gleefully. "What I do now, I do for dating!"
Ranma smiled in spite of himself. He remembered the time, so long ago, when
Ryoga and he had had a similar fight. It was at that time that he had
mastered the moko takabisha. Recalling some of the things he had said to
distract Ryoga, he wondered if a similar technique would work in this
situation. He gasped in mock surprise. "Look! You can see Akane's
panties!"
{ Whoa. Good tactic. That's gonna work even better on Ataru than on Ryoga. }
"What!?" Ataru's head swiveled back towards Akane.
"Moko Takabisha!"
Ataru flew back, slamming into the back wall of the Tendo compound and
landed limply on the ground. Lum immediately flew to his side. "Darling!
Speak to me!"
Ataru blinked and slowly lifted his head. "Akane's. . . panties?" His head
fell back on the ground.
{ "Darling no BAKA!" ZZAAAPPPP! :) }
"You. . . you. . . old FREAK!" Ranma-chan palmed the top of Happosai's head
like a basketball and removed him from her chest. "Just die!" She then
drop kicked him over the Tendo compound. Her chest heaving in rage, Ranma
drop-kicked {?}
turned back towards Ataru and Lum. "Like I said, I win-"
"What do ya mean, you won? I kicked your sorry butt half way across the
halfway
yard!"
"But Daddy, Lum -is- one of your daughters." Nabiki handed Soun a stack of
papers. "You've added her name to our registry."
{ boggle! What a twisty idea. Suggest} "You've adopted her by adding her name
Nabiki smirked. "How many times have I told you to read things before you
sign them, Daddy?"
{ "Well, never, actually..." :) }
Akane looked questioningly at Ranma. "Was that what this was all about?"
She asked softly. "Why do you even care who he marries?"
she asked {no cap}
"That's not the only reason, is it, Ranma?" Lum walked over to Ataru, sat
down next to his prone form and gentle put his head in her lap.
gently
Before Ranma could reply, Nodoka walked out of the house, her face pale.
"Is something wrong, Mo-, er, Saotome-san?" Ranma asked.
She glanced at Ranma's concerned features and smiled faintly. "That phone
call was from Mr. Nakamura."
"The guy at the hospital?"
Nodoka nodded. "He had a bit of. . . news for us."
Genma felt a slight chill. "What kind of news, dear?"
Nodoka took a deep breath. "Ranma and Ataru were not switched at birth."
{ facefault! }
"You see, the hospital -did- make a mistake. Ataru -was- switched at birth,
just not with Ranma. Ataru is going to have to go to the hospital to get
the details, Mr. Nakamura wouldn't say anything over the phone."
{ Uh oh. Who--? }
"And that curse!" Ataru exclaimed, ignoring Ranma's protest. "I wish I had
a curse like that."
"What's so great about turnin' into a girl?"
"Think about it, stupid. Any time you need a quick fix, all you need is a
glass of cold water and presto!"
"A 'quick fix'?" Ranma scratched the back of his head. "What's that
supposed to mean?"
Ataru sighed, leaned closer to Ranma and whispered in his ear. Ranma's face
turned bright red as he pulled away. "Ewww. . . You're even more of a freak
than I thought!"
"Maybe," Ataru conceded, "but it would still be fun to try."
{I guess this is before Ataru got hit with the sex-change-ray-gun... but
that's about how he reacted then, IIRC. Great Ranma-Ataru compare & contrast.}
Ranma set his backpack on the floor and sat down on the futon. The room was
plain and unadorned, but it had been his for the better part of a year, and
it was home. A knock at door broke him out of his musings.
at the door
"Sure." Akane sat next to him on the futon before asking her next question.
"How did Mrs. Moroboshi take you leaving?"
"She was freakin' out until I told her that Ataru wasn't coming back."
Ranma snorted. "Now she's eagerly waiting for her new son."
{ hehe! }
"I wonder where he ended up. . ."
"Ataru? Ah, who cares. . . He'll be happy as long as there are a few girls
around."
Akane giggled. "That^Òs true. Lum ran off looking for him. It. . . it's
"That's {non-ASCII character replaced apostrophe}
hard to believe that she loves someone like him."
Elsewhere. . .
"Ryoko-chan! Come back!"
{ AAAAA! NOOOO! YESSSS! IT's PERFECT! }
"I'm going to kill you, you pervert!"
"Hohoho! He's a perfect match for a monster like you!"
"Ayeka-sama!"
"Unhand me, you lout! Azaka! Kamadake! Destroy him!"
Kamidake! {I think}
"Mihoshi-chan! Want to take a dip in the hot tub?"
"Oh dear, I really should be on duty, but maybe later, okay Ataru? Oh my!
Don't touch me there!"
Laser blasts, explosions, and random violence ensued as a young lecher
finally found his harem. . .
Or so he thought.
{ What a perfect ending to this deranged crossover... or is it just the
beginning? :) I can see Ataru as Nobuyuki's son, I really can... but
how's Tenchi going to do in Tomobiki? Mrs. Moroboshi will be just
thrilled to have such a decent, polite son... Mendo will get a lesson in
kenjutsu... oh, never mind them, I wanna see what happens when Lum meets
Ryoko, Aeka, and Mihoshi... :) }
Chapter 6 End
You might want to put a disclaimer for Tenchi Muyo! down here... I agree
that putting it up at the top with the Ranma and UY disclaimers would
have spoiled the surprise.
Notes:
Well, acknowledgements first. A hearty thanks to Gary Kleppe for
prereading, prodding, and encouraging during the last 12 months. This story
is much better than it would have been due to his help. I have to thank a
few other people as well. Donny Cheng, Steve Cornett, Vince Seifert, and
Video Game Addicted Person have all been more than supportive of this story.
Well, I think it deserved it.
This story wasn't very popular, but I've thoroughly enjoyed writing it, so I
don't mind. I suppose more than a few of you will be disappointed with the
fight. I hope you remember that this was primarily a comedy, and if you
found it funny, then I've succeeded in my task. If you didn't find it
funny, well. . . sorry. :)
It was just about right, I think.
Yes this is the end^Å however, there is a sequel in the works. In this
story, I concentrated on Ataru in Nerima. But I never really got into
Ranma's life in Tomobiki. . . and even though he's a Saotome again, it
doesn't mean Principal Kuno is going to let him transfer back to Furinkan.
Uh oh.
So. . . watch for the first chapter of 'If Life Could Get Any Worse'
coming some time after chapter 7 of 'Heart of the Immortal'
Yay!
Later folks, it's been a fun 12 months.
Thanks for writing and sharing!
Vince Seifert Fanfic Analyst FFIRC Frog
Prime: seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.