----- Original Message -----
From: Jon the mockingbird <yaanathn@hotmail.com>
To: <keiichi@i-manila.com.ph>; <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2000 9:47 AM
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fic][Gratuitous Theater]Two Hearts of One Mind -
TimeRunner Reprise
Hm ... okay. I have some thoughts about this, but before I voice any of
them, bear in mind that I am not a great writer. Also, I'm bearing in
mind
as I write this that the Scriviner himself was a part of this rendition.
Ahem. This fic sounds like it was written by an Asuka fan. No offense to
anyone, but in my experience one can tell from the way events are either
flowed through or prolonged or not at all what kind of writer was writing
the fic. Now, there's a good chance I'm wrong in this case (again, since
the Scriviner was a part of this), but it feels ... cheesy ... corny ...
overly WAFF to the point of sappiness. Granted, for me, that's diffictult
Dang. So much for that idea. ^^; The most difficult part of writing this was
to take my understanding of the fic (because I figured asking Scriviner at
this point would be cheating) and to write it in more or less differently.
to avoid, but in the end, if I were to sum up my thoughts in one sentence,
I
would say this: "If it ain't broken, don't fix it." In other words, I
liked
the original Scriviner's version better than this rendition. It left
specific ideas in a vague manner so that the abstract thoughts in a
reader's
head could come together to form a feeling, and this version blatantly
spells out what's happening, cheapening the feel altogether.
Ouch. Well, while this really stung to read (and bodes ill for the rest of
this project), I'm glad you posted this. The point of the project is to
highlight the differences in writing style and most especially to show why
the original writer wrote the fic the way he or she did. Apparently my style
isn't quite as well suited for this fic. I think the vague feeling in the
original was in part because of Scriviner's technique of placing the reader
in several heads at once. On the other hand, my rather concentrated
viewpoint gave all the ideas a coherence that the fic apparently didn't
need, in your view. Still, it smarts to hear that I actually OVERstated
something -- something that I usually go out of my way to avoid doing.
Right now, while wiser from all of this (and masochistically still
determined to redo quite a few more fics, with writer's consent, of course),
I'm beginning to feel like something out of Dirty Pair Flash or the later
Tenchi continuities -- never going to live up to the original. That's the
trouble with remakes, all the time -- some people are never going to enjoy
it as much as the original. I knew that when I began writing, and still I
knew I had to do it. I wanted to know how I would have written this.
I think most of the problem lies in reading both fics and thinking they're
two versions of the exact same story. I tried to make this version deviate
somewhat from the original, because frankly I wouldn't have been happy if I
simply reworded Scriviner's version, and I doubt if Scriviner would have
been happy about it either. That's not how this thing works, and that is why
I didn't ask Scriviner what the fic was about outright.
Again, this is just me, and I'm a person who hates to have anything
cheapened. Fanfiction is one of these things. Still, I'm sure some
Rei-heads would like this fic, since it is something a reader does not
find
a lot of in fanfiction.
I take it you didn't care for it much on its own merits, either. Ah, well.
You win some... (Rei-heads?)
I encourage having the Scriviner go over it and change it accordingly.
Still, the original was fine as it was, and I gave a review of it on my
site: http://members.xoom.com/yaanathn
I will, but most probably the rewrites will simply be for the sake of
cleaning up the prose, and not much in the way of 'uncheapening' it in the
way of bringing it closer to the original. Sorry to disappoint you.
Well, at any rate, perhaps you'll enjoy the Scriviner rewrites of my fics,
instead.
Thank you for your past and continuing effort.
Thanks for writing in. Like I said, while this was painful to read, I really
appreciated you taking the time to write it. Maybe the next few installments
of the GT Project won't disappoint you as much.
Thanks again.
=====
w.o.m.
TimeRunner's Web Page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482
=====
Writers have to simultaneously believe the following two things:
1. The story I am now working on is the greatest work of genius ever written
in English.
2. The story I am now working on is worthless drivel.
Of course, believing two contradictory facts at the same time is somteimes
referred to as madness -- but that, too, can be an asset to a writer.
-- Orson Scott Card