Christopher Angel Presents:
A Rather Silly Thought (tentative title)
Chatper 2
An Altered Destiny
A Ygddrasil Production
inspired by:
-Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi
-The Altered Destinies works of Wade Tritschler, Dreiser, and others.
***
"How odd," Tatewaki remarked. "You would think she was actually out to kill
him."
Soun was crying again, and not from joy. "My yard! They're destroying my
yard!"
"She's probably rather put out by the fact Ranma disappeared right after the
ceremony," Kodachi replied. "The harlot does have a right to be angry."
Tatewaki considered that for a moment. "You do have a point," he allowed,
and then turned to Genma. "Ojiisan, considering that this is your fault,
should not you be doing something about this?"
"Boy," Genma intoned, "let me give you a piece of advice I'm sure Tendo will
agree with. Don't EVER get in the middle of a husband-wife quarrel."
The young man looked at his sensei a second before translating, "You're
afraid to get between them."
"I'm not a complete idiot, boy."
"I beg to differ," Kodachi countered.
Akane scowled. "Well you can't just let them wreck our home!"
Nabiki nodded as she mentally totalled the cost of the 'argument'.
***
"Shampoo," Ranma yelped as she sidestepped an overhead smash and then lept
up over the followup sideways slash, "let me explain!"
"No want hear excuses from lying Airen," Shampoo growled. She hopped over
the sweep Ranma made and tried to land a kick on her, but somehow Ranma
twisted her leg so Shampoo's foot struck earth. "Stand still so Shampoo can
kill!"
"It wasn't my fault!" Ranma ducked around the remains of a small statue in
the yard, which Shampoo's bonbori demolished even further. "Stupid Oyaji
just kidnapped me!"
"Lies," Shampoo snapped. "Big city man come to village, take advantage of
country girl and leaves after one night of passion."
Ranma froze and stared at the purple-haired girl. "But-we never-you said-"
She ducked under a thrown bonbori. "HEY! That's cheating!" She again
ducked the weapon on its rebound.
"You think what you did fair? Shampoo no even get night of passion!"
"Damnit," Ranma growled. After a series of rapid strikes by Ranma, Shampoo
was left holding two splintered shafts, the business ends of the bonbori on
the ground at her feet. "Now listen to me!"
Shampoo was looking forlornly at the debris on the ground. "Shampoo's
bonbori," she lamented, and then glared at Ranma. "Those not cheap, you
know!"
"I'll get you new ones," she snapped. "Now listen up, ya crazy chick. If I
didn't wanna to marry ya I wouldn't have in the first place!"
***
Genma cleared his throat. "NOW is when you interfere," he said in an
authoritative voice. "Watch and learn, my boy. The Secret Crouch of the
Wild Tiger technique." With that, he strode out into the yard.
"That man is amazing," Soun remarked.
"Disgusting is more the word," Kodachi said.
"Otousan," Nabiki demanded again, "WHY do you know these people?"
***
After a stunned moment, Shampoo shook her head. "Airen says that now, but
still ran from honeymoon."
"I'm telling ya, it wasn't my idea! The old fart grabbed me out of the
room, tied me up, and dragged me off!"
"Shampoo does not know if should believe," she said, shaking her head again.
"Very confused, Shampoo is."
"What Ranma says is true," Genma interrupted, his voice strangely muffled.
The pair turned to see Genma on his knees, his face almost in the dirt. "I
believed he was being forced into the marriage and thought to rescue him."
He was silent for a moment, until he was sure that he wouldn't have to run
for his life. "Ranma did try to get back to you, Shampoo," he finally
added.
Shampoo was silent for a long moment, and then Ranma turned her so that they
were face-to-face again. "See? I didn't-mmmph!"
Any speech was cut off as Ranma found her lips attached to Shampoo's. A
moment later, she was allowed to speak again. "Damnit, don't do that when
I'm a girl!"
"Why?" Shampoo wondered. "We married, is okay."
***
Kodachi's sides ached from laughter. "'The Secret Crouch of the Wild
Tiger,' he says. Looks like grovelling to me!"
"Don't underestimate that technique," Soun said seriously.
"Perverts," Akane growled. "How can they kiss like that?"
"One wonders how they qualify, Akane Tendo," Tatewaki said.
"They're both girls!"
Kodachi chuckled darkly. "You sound remarkably like Ranma." She smiled
brightly at the returning pair of girls. "Oh, is the lover's spat over?"
"Can it, Kodachi," Ranma snapped, and then turned to the Tendos.
"Tendo-san," she said to the father, "this is my...w..wife Shampoo," she
finally said with the aid of an elbow in the gut from said female.
"Nihao!" she said brightly.
"Young lady," Soun said sternly, "what do you propose to do about the damage
to my house and yard?"
"Umm..." Shampoo looked around, and said with a sheepish expression,
"Shampoo fix?"
***
Again the families sat in the living room while Shampoo and the now-male
Ranma worked on cleaning up the debris from their fight.
"Now, since we will be staying here a while, you three will be going to
school," Genma stated, and then scowled at the groan Ranma let loose as he
walked by. "Lazy boy."
"Education is a fine thing, Ojiisan," Tatewaki agreed, "but I will need
tutoring if I am expected to graduate with a suitable average."
Kodachi grimaced and agreed, "It would be nice to actually complete a year."
Genma smiled widely at the siblings, and yelled after Ranma. "You should be
more like your cousins! They're not determined to be ignorant!"
"Yeah, yeah," Ranma called back.
Soun cleared his throat. "I must admit, I only expected Saotome and his
son. Genma and the boys can have the guest room, and I guess the two girls
can share with mine-"
Having overheard, Shampoo interrupted with a somewhat disappointed look,
"Shampoo no share room with Ranma?"
"That would not be proper," Soun replied stifly, and Shampoo gave a sigh of
great suffering.
A panicked look crossed Akane's face, and she grabbed Kodachi's arm.
"Kodachi can share my room!" she snapped, and gave Shampoo a glare the
purple-haired girl didn't notice. *Pervert.*
Soun frowned in confusion, but then cleared his throat to cover it up.
"Yes. Well, then, Shampoo will have to sleep with...hmm," he looked back
and forth from Kasumi to Nabiki, trying to decide between the pair.
"Shampoo choose!" she insisted, surprising Soun, who merely nodded. She
considered Kasumi for a moment, and then asked, "What you like do?"
Kasumi blinking in surprise, and thought a moment. "Well, I mostly spend my
time taking care of my family..."
With a wave of her hand, Shampoo silenced Kasumi and turned to consider
Nabiki. "What you like do?"
A wry smile crossed Nabiki's features for a moment. "What's in it for me to
tell you?" she replied.
Shampoo gave Nabiki a steady look before laughing brightly. "Her!" she told
Soun, pointing at Nabiki. "Shampoo like!"
Soun looked in askance at his middle daughter, who shrugged. "Well, I guess
that's settled..." he said uncertaintly.
"Good," Genma said, then stood and strode out into the yard, motioning for
his proteges and Soun to follow. Shampoo went to help Ranma pick up rubble
from a statue she had destroyed. Nabiki and Akane exchanged a look and sat
nearby to watch, while Kasumi returned to the kitchen.
"Tendo, since I will be continuing my training of my students here, I would
like them to train with yours." Soun looked nervously at Akane, but Genma
didn't notice. "Ranma! Come here!"
"What no-hey!" Ranma rubbed his stomach where his father rabbit-punched him.
"Show some respect, boy," Genma said, and then looked at Kodachi. "So, you
fought Akane. What do you think of her skills?"
"Well..." Kodachi looked nervously at Akane. "That is...she's
very...uh...strong?"
Akane stood up and began to walk over. A frown formed on her face.
Genma stared at her for a second. "Tatewaki."
"She is like a very Valkyrie in flight, her movements filled with power and
might!" the young man replied, and ducked the cuff his sensei threw at him.
"A poet you aren't, boy. Stop that. It's annoying enough when you're
cursed," Genma said, and then sighed. "Fine. Ranma, what do you think?"
Ranma snorted. "Too strong. Too slow. Too clumsy."
"Oh yeah?" Akane hissed, and stalked over towards Ranma and threw a punch
his way, which he easily evaded. A few more punches and a series of rapid
kicks followed, all of which Ranma weaved around seeminly without effort.
"Stand still!"
"See what I mean, Oyaji?"
"DIE!"
Shampoo looked up from the rocks she was gathering and frowned at the melee.
She walked over to the group and asked. "Why she try kill Airen?"
"Because he insulted her?" Kodachi suggested.
"Aiyah!" Shampoo's face formed a scowl as she charged the fighting figures
and got between them. Turning to Akane, she snapped. "Airen MINE to
punish, Violent Girl!" She then whirled on Ranma. "What you say to Violent
Girl?"
Taken aback by the rather outraged look on Shampoo's face, Ranma shakily
replied. "I said she was too strong, too slow, and too clumsy."
"Why you..." Akane made to attack him again, but Shampoo turned to her, this
time with the sort of look an adult would place on an unruly child.
"Why you mad? He say truth."
"I'll show you slow!" Akane howled, and swung at Shampoo, who danced away.
"No turn on heel so much."
"AAAAAARGH!" Akane began to chase Shampoo around the yard. After a few
swipes, she suddenly froze with the heel of Shampoo's palm a hair's width
from her nose.
"You no bad," Shampoo said in a conversational tone. "But Shampoo think you
need learn control anger, not have anger control you."
"Enough," Genma ordered. "You've made your point, Shampoo."
Shampoo shrugged. "Whatever Panda-father say." She walked back to Ranma,
leaving the still Akane without another thought.
"Leave the yard for now," Genma said. "All of you, go get settled in your
rooms and then go buy whatever you will need for school. Tendo and I have
some things to talk about."
"What might that be?" Soun asked absently, his eyes upon his frozen
daughter.
"Your ideas of training," Genma said darkly.
***
"Stupid school," Ranma muttered as he trudged down the street.
"Shampoo no know why Airen so mad," the amazon said cheerily. "Shampoo love
school!" She noticed Ranma giving her a disgusted look and countered with a
puzzled one. "What Airen problem?"
"Let us just say my cousin is not the scholastic type," Tatewaki said.
"Now there's an understatement," Kodachi remarked, and then added for
Akane's sake, "the only thing he's better at than martial arts is finding
ways out of schoolwork."
"HEY!" Ranma protested. "That's not fair!"
"But cousin dear, it's true, isn't it?"
"Just 'cause school's boring, don't mean-slpfffphh!" Ranma looked down at
her now-soaked school uniform and feminine figure. "Oh hell."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, young lady," an old woman said. She replaced the ladle
in her bucket and bowed an apology. "I didn't see you there."
"It's all right," Ranma sighed, and then spun on her heel to return home.
"Bath time."
"Oh, do try not to be an idiot," Kodachi snapped. "You can always get hot
water at school."
"I ain't showing up to school as a girl!"
"What's wrong with being a girl?" Akane demanded.
"It wrong for Airen because Airen is man," Shampoo said, once again as if to
a simpleminded child. She smiled innocently at Akane when the Japanese girl
growled.
"Before we begin to fight again," Tatewaki interrupted, "mayhaps we should
ask Nabiki Tendo is she knows of a solution?"
Nabiki just blinked as her mind made the shift from observer to participant.
She frowned and thought for a moment before answering. "Well, there's
Tofu-sensei's..." She steadily gazed at her younger sister and the dark
look Akane was sending at her.
Akane sighed breathily and said, "Come on, I'll show you the way." She
looked in surprise as Kodachi fell into step beside her.
"Shall we be off?" she said.
Akane just stared at her a moment before smiling, and turned to walk off,
Kodachi beside her.
***
"Is there some sports event occuring today?" Tatewaki asked upon seeing the
crowd of boys at the entrance to the school yard. Each boy was in some sort
of sports or martial arts gear. "Perhaps a track and field meet?"
Nabiki chuckled dryly. "No, this happens every day. Akane fights them
every morning."
Tatewaki stopped and looked at her with surprise. "You must be jesting."
"Nope. Every morning all those idiots fight her for the privilege of a
date."
"How Amazonian." He considered this for a long moment, and then nodded
sharply. "An excellent ploy. Thus, she is able to fend off and discourage
unwanted advances, while also geting daily practice in the arts." He paused
and looked around with a curious air. "Do tell, Nabiki Tendo, how do you
repell the hordes of suitors?"
Nabiki stumbled before staring at the young man beside her in shock. "I-i
don't...I mean, I never had to."
"How decidedly odd," Tatewaki replied. "I fail to see why." He proceeded
to stroll on, looking around the school grounds in mild interest.
As she watched him walk off, Nabiki tried to decide if he was making fun of
her or was serious. She ran the conversation over in her head, and couldn't
find anything that could specifically be taken either way, even if his
conclusion about Akane's fights was a bit...odd. *He doesn't actually think
I'm as attractive as Akane, does he?* she wondered, and then had to spend a
good few moments fighting off the blush that rose to her face.
***
Ranma sighed yet again as they waited for Akane and Kodachi to return with
the hot water. "I hate my life sometimes. Why couldn't I get some other
curse, like a wolf or even a panda?"
"Airen want silly peoples thinking he is demon?" Shampoo countered.
"Knowing my luck, they would," she grumbled, and then looked anxiously
around the corner at Akane and Kodachi, who were talking with an elderly
woman at the door to some clinic. "I wish they would hurry-"
"Aiyah!" Ranma turned just in time to catch Shampoo, who had jumped into
her arms. Behind where the Amazon had stood, there was a man in his late
twenties. He held a skeleton in his arms and was looking somewhat
embarrassed.
Ranma found herself suddenly experienceing a rather interesting phenomenon
in spacial geometry. That being the discovery of the exact dimensions of
Shampoo's chest...and it's relative size as compared to her own. *Damn,
Shampoo is built!*
"Oh, pardon me," he said with a sheepish smile. "There's nothing to worry
about, this is just Betty-chan, my skeleton."
"Aiyah, no scare Shampoo!"
The man blinked in surprise. "<You're Chinese,>" he remarked. "<A pleasure
to meet you-> Oh, hello, Akane! Good morning to you!"
"Uhh...good morning, Tofu-sensei!" Akane said alkwardly as a slight blush
rose to her face. Beside her and carrying a kettle, Kodachi gave Shampoo
and Ranma a questioning glance. With a start, Ranma dropped Shampoo,
grabbed the kettle, and ducked out of sight to change back to his male form.
"I haven't seen you around lately," the man continued blithely. "No new
injuries, I hope?"
"No," Akane mumbled. "I haven't been doing anything that would..."
Tofu smiled at Kodachi and then Shampoo. "And who are your friends?" I was
just apologising to this young lady for scaring her with Betty-chan. <My
most sincere apologies.>"
"<It's okay. I should have sensed you coming,>" Shampoo replied. "But
still not nice to scare Shampoo!"
Kodachi bowed. "Kodachi Soatome," she said. "It is a pleasure to meet
you."
Ranma stepped out from where he had hidden and bowed slighly to the doctor.
"Ranma Saotome," he grinned. "With my life, I'm glad I know where the
nearest Doc is." Tofu raised an eyebrow at that statement, but before he
could ask for clarification, Akane gasped.
"We're gonna be late!" she yelped, and dashed off. "Come on you guys we
have to hurry or we'll be late and I really hate bucket duty!"
"Hey, wait up!" Ranma called, and ran after her, the other two girls hot on
his heels. A few moments later, they caught up to Akane, Kodachi and
Shampoo on the ground while Ranma ran along the fence. "So that's the local
doc, hey?"
"Dr. Tofu Ono," Akane replied. "The local chiropractor."
"Him very good fighter too. Shampoo no sense when he sneak up!"
"Sure doesn't look like it," Ranma said doubtfully, hoping off the fence to
run beside the girls. "But then..."
"Looks can be decieving, cousin dear, you should know that," Kodachi
chuckled.
"Isn't he a man?" Ranma continued, pointedly ignoring Kodachi's jibe. "I
thought you hated all men!"
Akane ran on silently for a moment, before starting to growl as she looked
on ahead. Approaching rapidly were the gates to a school, and just inside
the gates there was the mass of a mob of teenaged boys in various combat and
sports gear. "That's right!" she growled. "I....HATE....MEN!" With that,
she sped up and plowed into the crowd of boys, leaving destruction in her
wake.
The other three stopped and watched with a stunned look on their face.
"What..." Kodachi began and faltered before continuing, "What sort of farce
is this?"
"Okay, she's not that bad," Ranma said grudgingly.
"Shampoo feel homesick."
***
>From the balcony outside of their classroom on the third floor, Tatewaki
looked upon the scene below him with barely repressed fury...and it looked
like it wasn't staying repressed. "Nabiki Tendo," he snarled, "Do you mean
to tell me that all those...CRETINS...attack your fair sister AT ONCE?"
"Well, I didn't say it, but yes. You see..." She stopped as Tatewaki's
face grew red with rage.
"COWARDS! KNAVES! DISHONORABLE SCUM!" he roared, and below them, the fight
ground to a sudden halt. He climbed up onto the ledge of the balcony,
reached behind his neck and pulled a bokken out of the back of his uniform.
"How DARE you attack the fair Akane Tendo in such a way?" he demanded,
waving the bokken to illustrate his point. "How DARE you make a mockery of
such a noble thing as the honorable combat between two warriors? You call
yourselves men?! What sort of barbarians are you?"
"Who's asking?" snidely returned one of the combatants - a soccer player, it
seemed - who Akane hadn't gotten around to...yet.
"My name..."
***
"Here we go," Ranma grinned. "I don't know how he does this, but it is just
so cool!"
"Must you encourage him, Ranma?"
***
"...is Upperclassman Kuno. Junior. Class..." he glanced behind him, "...E.
Soon to be the Captain of your Kendo Club. Undefeated Star of the High
School Kendo World. But as of now, I am...Tatewaki Saotome, the Blue
Thunder of..." he paused, and turned back to Nabiki. "Pray tell, Nabiki
Tendo, what is the name of this fair establishment?"
"Furinkan High," she said in a stunned voice.
"Thank you," he returned, and then, as flash of lighting in the suddenly
furious sky and a roll of thunder echoed through the neighborhood, he
boomed, "I am Tatewaki Saotome, the BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH! And I
command you, cease this knavery NOW!"
***
"How he do that?"
"We have yet to exactly discover that. My brother just picked it up
somewhere." Kodachi frowned. "Wasn't he the Red Tempest?"
"Naw," Ranma chortled. "That was at Juuban."
"The White Fury?"
"Konton."
"The Shooting Star?"
"Tsunami."
"The Dark Rose?"
"That one's yours, ain't it?"
"No, it is the Black Rose, thank you. What about the Silver Bolt?"
"Uhh...that last school we were at."
"The Green Hornet?"
"Wasn't he that guy on The Kano Show?"
"Shampoo STILL want know how Sword-Boy do that. Want learn how."
"Ain't it just the coolest thing?"
"Well, I will admit it is quite impressive," Kodachi allowed. "But it is
just so...silly."
***
"Hey, what's the big idea interfering in my fight?" Akane called up to
Tatewaki.
Tatewaki snorted. "Forgive me, Akane Tendo, but this was not a fight." He
paused and contemplated the ground before him before jumping off the
balcony. There was gasps from the students and even a scream or two, which
were replaced by gasps of shock as Tatewaki landed lightly on his feet and
continued walking. He stopped before the nearest student, a guy in baseball
gear. "This was a travesty of honorable combat."
"Big man with his bokken," the student sneered. "Lets see how your bokken
stands up to Mr. Aluminum Bat." With that, he swung at Tatewaki.
It wasn't so much a parry that the kendoist performed, rather it was more a
preemptive strike - at the weapon itself. With a few short movements of the
bokken, the player found himself holding a stub of the bat. Tatewaki turned
his back on the student and continued on, the sound of pieces of aluminum
stiking pavement his only accompanyment.
***
*Wow,* Nabiki thought, *he's REALLY good.* She snatched a binoculars from a
girl near her and trained her eyes on the bat pieces on the ground.
"They're cut cleanly!" she exclaimed.
"Did you see that?!" one of the previously fighting boys yelped. "That guy
could kill us!"
"Yeah, I did," a guy beside him said. "I'm getting out of here. Akane's
one thing, but this guy's too much."
"Are you nuts?" another boy whispered. "Can you imagine what HE'LL do to us
if we run?"
***
Ranma strolled through the gate and nodded to his cousin. "Hey, Oniisan.
Need a hand?"
Tatewaki nodded his head in acknowledgement. "I do not belive so, cousin,"
he replied. "But I thank you for the offer."
"Your choice," Ranma said with a shrug. "We're just gonna watch. C'mon,
Shamps."
"Do be careful, brother dear," Kodachi added as she walked by. "Very
impressive, Akane-chan."
Another nod from the kendoist, and he turned to the next combattant. "Will
you cease, or must I defeat you first?"
Before the boy could continue, Tatewaki suddenly moved his bokken. There
was the sounds of metal striking wood, and several small spheres landed on
the ground, deflected from hitting the other young man by Tatewaki's wooden
blade.
"When did you start using a bokken, Akane?" a voice asked from the gate.
"And when did your voice deepen so much? And when did you get so tall?" All
the combatants turned to look at the source.
***
Near the entrance to the school, Shampoo suddenly froze, her face white.
"It no can be," she whispered.
Noticing his spouse's distress, Ranma was suddenly at her side and laid his
hand on her shoulder. "What is it, Shampoo?"
"It no can be," she repeated in a faint voice, and slowly turned around.
She looked toward the gate and suddenly shouted, "Stupid Mousse?!"
At the gate, a tallish young man in a slightly baggy school uniform with
long hair peered towards the school doors. He pushed the unbelievably thick
glasses on his forhead down to his nose and looked again. "S-sh-shampoo?"
**********
Notes:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet you weren't expecting that, were you?
Constructive C&C wanted. Compliments too. Criticism too. Flames forwarded
to your postmaster.
MSTs loved.
--
Christopher 'God-Boy' Angel