Andrew Dynon wrote:
HEROES WHO SHED THEIR BLOOD
A Mobile Suit Gundam [One Year War era] fanfic
by Andrew Dynon
Mobile Suit Gundam created by Yoshiyuki Tomino, (c) Sotsu Agency, Sunrise.
English-language version (c) AnimeVillage.Com
For Anzac Day
Any and all C&C NEEDED. MSTs especially welcome.
I hate to say this, but this looks very much like a 'fic that was
written on a deadline. I know this because I am fairly disappointed with
my own Veteran's Day (U.S.) fanfic, "RGTW: Remember," which was also
crushed into the deadline of getting it out by Veteran's Day.
"Heroes" feels very rushed. We have almost no time to get to know these
characters before they are killed off/nearly killed off, which detracts
from any sense of anguish that we as the readers are (presumably) meant
to feel. Even their defeat is practically a non-event.
I would love to see you go back and give this story the treatment it
deserves, because I think it has a lot of potential.
Jamie
--
"I choose you - PIKASPEW!!!"
Jamie to 2 month old daughter Madeline,
shortly after being spat up upon...
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