E.L. Toh wrote:
Vincent Seifert has kindly provided webspace for most of my
fanfics and links to the rest at the following address:
http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/kagami/
oh goody. (goes to update bookmark and links page)
i assume 'Gendou, You Bastard!' will be there as well.
Yup, thanks to the Vince's infinite energy and patience. Thanks once
again, Vince.
rather LIMEY c&c follows. you have been warned.
That's okay. I tend to provide rather Limey C&C myself. :)
Every eye in the classroom was focused on the figure that
held out the gift-wrapped box of chocolates to Asuka.
Enough attention was left over for the red-headed girl that
her face flushed to match the colour of her hair, though it
was impossible to tell whether from anger or embarassment.
Or from hidden, deeply repressed desire, threatening to
burst from their restraints. ;)
Asuka [thinking]: Must not jump on Rei. Must not jump on Rei.
"Verdammt, Wonder Girl!" Asuka choked out. "You're not
supposed to give chocolates to another girl! Just to some
idiot boy that you like! Heck, I'm from Germany, but even I
know about the stupid reversed way the Japanese do
Valentine's Day!"
"As Ikari-kun mused during CoaEG, I was probably hiding in
the basement on the day when all these sorts of things
were explained to everyone else."
Rei [monotonously]: Terminal Dogma is a basement...
Rei's hand did not move. "But the advice was not gender-
specific. I am supposed to give chocolates to anyone I like
or wish to get along with."
Rei's hands? i presume the polite way to offer a gift
is with both hands?
True. Then again, Rei probably has no idea what is polite in these
circumstances.
"In CoaEG, I was ordered by the Commander to get along
better with you."
This did nothing to dampen Asuka's desire. 'Hmmm... perhaps
if I took a cue from Lara & Ammadeau's _Role-Playing_, Rei
will be all mine. Now where can I find some dark glasses?
Heheheh.'
Asuka [triumphantly]: Haha! Who cares about Shinji's pitiful twig?! I'll
just seduce Rei, Hikari, Maya, and every other cute girl in the series!
German prowess will out!
"Then give them to baka Shinji or something!"
"I have already given Ikari-kun his chocolates."
"...and from the response to his one-shot on that, Alain
Gravel wrote a whole series on our love triangle," said Rei.
"You mean baka Shinji and yourself fought for my love?"
asked Asuka hopefully.
Asuka: Of course. After all, I am the main character of Evangelion! :)
"You wish," snorted Rei in a monotone, "even Jim Lazar
hasn't done anything like that (okay, maybe the dream
sequence) and even Chris Davies refuses to write about us
having torrid lesbian sex."
"Awww," pouted Asuka. (And some of the fanboys.)
Heh. I'm sure there are several Asuka and Rei lemons out there, just not
terribly well-written ones.
<snip>
"Right," added Kensuke. "Like why Asuka's so aggressive
all the time, why she has that old guy as a 'boyfriend',
and why she hangs around Hikari all the time."
"Hey! You leave Hikari out of this," Touji sputtered.
"But I've already slept with her," said Kensuke.
"..."
"Oh, sorry. Wrong continuity. (apologies to Mr. Lazar)"
Heh again.
Kensuke: I may look like a dweeb, but my twig is mighty indeed. :)
At the front of the classroom, Hikari surreptitiously
edged her desk forward a few centimeters, while Shinji
stuck a wad of tissue up his right nostril.
"Arschloch!" Asuka fired back at two of the Three Stooges,
before turning back to Rei. "Look, Wonder Girl, this is all
just a stupid misunderstanding. Who the hell gave you that
advice anyway?"
---
"Ritsuko-sempai?" Maya coughed hesitantly at the doorway
to Doctor Akagi's room. "I'm not interrupting anything, am
I?"
"No. I'm just wrapping the chocolate I bought for Commander
Ikari."
"WAAAAAAAH!!!" screamed Maya as she ran away.
"What was that all about?" asked Ritsuko. Despite being the
Greatest Scientist in this Anime Series, she could be
remarkably unobservant.
LOL! Wish I had thought of this one.
Ritsuko laid down the latest Evangelion status report and
looked up. "No, Maya. What can I do for you?"
Well, you could-- Maya hastily banished the wayward
thought. "Um, I seem to have have baked an excess of
chocolate last night and I was wondering if you'd like some?"
And the banished thought returned from exile, triumphant
after years of repression and overthrowing the ancien regime.
"Well, you could..." i'll leave the rest to your imagination
as Phil did. much more fun that way. ;)
Maya [poking into a huge bag]: What's all this, Ritsuko-sempai?
Ritsuko [lidding her eyes and looking like a cat about to pounce on
cream]: Oh, just a few toys for Christmas.
Maya: But Christmas is months away.
Ritsuko: I thought we could celebrate early...
"Very kind of you, Maya," Ritsuko quirked an eyebrow, "but
wouldn't the boys like some?"
"Oh, I've already given them their share," Maya lied
smoothly.
no, she didn't need to lie. she could just be economical with the
truth. ahem, "Oh, I've already given them their *appropriate*
share." 'Appropriate share' for males in Maya's dictionary being
absolute zero.
Good point. I'll change this.
---
"So how many did you get?" Shigeru asked Makoto, casually
biting into the creamy center of a white chocolate
confectionary. NERV central was fairly quiet and empty but
for the two operators.
"That's IT! We've been reduced from Bridge Bunnies to mere
'operators'! I QUIT!"
Shigeru [hauling out a thick folder]: My contract with Plaything(TM)
says we have to be called Bridge Bunnies at all times.
Black ghosts of misery hung over Makoto's hunched form and
he failed to answer. His finger continued to tap the enter
key on the keyboard as if the task would relieve the
stretching silence.
"Not a single one, eh?" Shigeru said as he progressed from
the white cream to darker, richer, and slightly bitter
chocolate offerings.
"Look, Shigeru, it's not like we're kids in school
anymore, keeping track of how many girls like us!" Makoto
flared up.
Actually, on a more serious note, in Japan, on v-day and
white day, everyone buys chocolate for everyone else of
the opposite sex in the office to prevent anyone from losing
face and feeling offended.
Very true. I remembered this, but then I thought it entirely appropriate
that Makoto miss out in this regard since he's so forgettable. :)
"Not even from Misato, eh?" Shigeru added with false
sympathy.
"Did you know that even Shinji got chocolate?" Shigeru rubbed
salt in the raw emotional wound.
"Ouch, that was reeeally low."
Makoto: I'm not a slug, you know.
<snip>
Alarm klaxons blared across the geofront, their harsh
warnings breaking her train of thoughts.
train of thought?
Yep. Will correct.
<snip>
"It's about time for the Fiftee-- Good Lord! Is that an
_Easter EGG_?"
Hmmm. How about a Children of an Elder God omake #3:
The Hidden Treasures of the Easter Bunny?
Well, Easter isn't over yet. Perhaps Biles-sama will pull a bunny out of
the hat? :)
"What is Easter?" asked Rei who appeared suddenly in
front of Shinji.
"Geez, I hate it when you do that," muttered Shinji.
Ritsuko: Easter is a coverted pagan celebration that the Catholic Church
adopted to help convince the English masses to turn to Christianity.
Gendo commendably managed to avoid jumping as the yell
erupted less than ten centimeters away from his eardrums,
though he shook his head irritably. The incoming Angel did
look remarkably like gilt-foiled, giant-sized chocolate
egg, but it was probably just coincidence. Gendo resumed
his interrupted posture.
"Composition of the Eg-- ah, Angel is unknown," Shigeru
said.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
:)
<snip>
"Is that an Easter Egg?" Shinji wondered as he moved Unit-
01 towards the target.
Oxford Reference Dictionary 2nd ed.
Easter egg n. an edible artificial (usually chocolate) egg
given as a gift at Easter. The egg is an ancient symbol of
renewed life; Easter eggs were known as early as the 13th C.
They were originally hard-boiled eggs, with shells dyed
different colours.
Then commercialism struck, and chocolate companies thought "Why not?"
Just think, if marzipan companies had been quicker, we'd all be eating
marzipan Easter eggs today (much to Shinji's regret).
A small screen popped up in front of him, revealing
Asuka's glaring face. "Baka! How can it be an Easter Egg?
It's just some clever disguise!"
"Really?"
"Of course! I'll show you! I'll crack it just like Humpty
Dumpty!"
With that, Eva-02 raced ahead of its compatriots, ignoring
Shinji's weak "I thought you said it wasn't an egg?"
now that was a lovely Shinji x Asuka exchange. :)
Thanks!
<snip>
A blast of brown sludge erupted from the Angel and slammed
into her machine, sending it tumbling to the ground. The
sticky fluid held it down as effectively as industrial-
strength glue despite Asuka's desperate attempts at recovery.
Asuka's mind went into overdrive as she imagined herself
naked except for a film with chocolate syrup. Rei's tongue
... well, i think i better stop there.
Hmm. Rei... Asuka... chocolate syrup... :)
<snip>
One last blow shattered the core and all resistance, and
Unit-01 began to feed.
"Good God!" Fuyutsuki uttered.
"This was always a possibility, Fuyutsuki," Gendo murmured
with satisfaction as the test type tore into the remains
voraciously. "Yui was very fond of her chocolate if you
recall."
One wonders though if this was the Evanjellydonut continuity
and the Angel was made of marzipan. Yui loves Marzipan but
Shinji is allegric to anything with almonds, so what would
the result of Unit-01 consumed a marzipan Angel?
A big mess in the LCL? :)
"I feel... envious," muttered Makoto.
"I feel hungry," complained Maya.
"But I'm not throwing up for once! Isn't that wonderful!"
Yes, I always hated that scene where Maya throws up, so I decided to
change it. :)
a rather inconclusive ending but good fun nonetheless.
Thanks! All I was aiming for.
And for those of you with dogs, i understand from the BBC
that chocolate contains a substance that is dangerous to
dogs. so do not feed your dogs Easter eggs. the warning on
tv was also accompanied by the comment, 'you should also
note that dogs can jump quite high to get at it.' Hmmm...
Heh. Maybe we'll have chocolate dogs in the near future...
that's all folks
And most welcome, thanks.
Phil.
EeL
http://www.teloong.mcmail.com/
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