Hey DB,
Welp, I've been promising an extensive, comical and witty review for
a while now... so here it is.
*deep breath*
It's perfect. Don't change a thing. Your writing ability is only
surpassed by your intelligence and savoirfaire.
Or if you'd like a real review... scroll down a wee bit.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In a low hiss, the Amazon said, "Shampoo know the truth. She hear the
stories."
Lemmi guess.... animals flushed down the toilet?
"What stories?" Akane asked.
"That there packs of rabid albino alligators down there. Is deathtrap for
sure."
Ayup.
Akane, Ukyou, and Kodachi all stared at Shampoo for a moment, then broke
out into uproarious laughter. Ukyou was the first to recover enough to
speak. "Wah ha ha! I'd have never thought you were so gullible as to
believe those stupid urban legends. Ha ha!"
"Is no legend, is true," Shampoo insisted.
Somehow... I believe it now. Shouldn't that be two sentences?
Akane managed to maintain a more polite decorum, only snorting when she
said, "Shampoo, it is just a myth. There are no albino alligators, let
along rabid packs of them, roaming around in the sewers."
"Is just a trap you three try to make on Shampoo so you can get rid of her
and she no win Ranma's heart."
Eek. Pidgin English. hm.
"You trick Shampoo so she no can win Ranma's heart."
Kodachi gave a sniff of derision in Shampoo's direction as she turned to
the others. "It's not the backwoods barbarian's fault. She is from the
middle of nowhere. She's lucky to even understand the term, 'urban.'. If
Don't need two periods after urban.
Akane shrugged and went down into the dimly lit sewers. Perhaps it was just
as well. There was a large amount of water running down the middle of the
first tunnel they entered. Given Shampoo's curse, she would have been a cat
within minutes no matter what precautions she would have taken, although
the Amazon was behaving like a total coward. At least now Akane had
Akane's internal monologue riffing the Amazon?
something to rub in Shampoo's face the next time she tried pulling her
superiority act on her.
"I do not see why I must travel with the likes of you. Why can I not
accompany Akane Tendou?"
accompany the beauteous Akane
"Because she doesn't like you, you moron." Mousse gave a sigh. It was just
Pot. Kettle.
his luck to end up stuck with the perverted ninja and that bokken wielding
headcase. Why couldn't he have traveled at his beloved Shampoo's side,
where he truly belonged? It just wasn't fair that by the time he put his
glasses back on, Shampoo had already disappeared and he had ended up stuck
searching with those two helpless losers in love.
Irony, gotta love it.
"And exactly how does that differ from your relationship with Shampoo?"
Konatsu asked.
And a glimmer of reason appears. Will it last amid the darkness of
idiocy? probably not.
Kunou left Mousse to laugh maniacally to himself. What a twisted
individual, juxtaposing his own self-deluded relationship with the Amazon
two sentences? What a twisted individual. Juxstaposing... er. you sorta
know what I mean.
with the loving one Kunou had with Akane. It was obvious to anyone that
Mousse should have taken his own advice and left the purple-haired Amazon
alone. He did nothing but annoy the girl after all.
Trying to think of another way to comment on the irony and without
becoming passe. not working.
As Kunou wandered alone into an ancient Japan exhibit, he came across a
large display, within a glass case, that dominated the center of the room.
Inside was a full set of ancient samurai armor, complete with a katana at
its side. The armor appeared to be in pristine condition, not showing the
how about: complete with katana by its side
[It was I, the Armor of Kintaro Dhoom.]
[Ah,] the voice hesitated for a second. [All right, I didn't kill him, but
I maimed him pretty bad.]
Kintaro Dhoom... or the Black Knight? "Tis but a scratch!"
[Only because my owner was drop-dead drunk at the time, else we would have
defeated him for certain. I know it had nothing to do with me possessing
him and controlling his mind.]
*snrk*
Kunou looked at the armor suspiciously. "What was that about possessing him
and controlling his mind?"
And will we be able to tell any difference?
Hesitation creeped into the armor's 'voice'. [Ah, did I say I was
possessing and controlling him? I meant the alcohol was possessing him and
controlling him. Yes. That was what I meant. The alcohol did all of that,
not me. Really]
No wonder this armor is on display and not being worn somewhere. It's
almost as stupid as Kuno.
[That was what I meant. What did you think I was saying? That you're a
sucker for putting me on so I can possess you and then rule the world
simply using your pathetic butt as a vessel for my evil power? It sounds
like paranoia to me.]
Well, when you put it like that. I'm sure everything else you said had to
be a slip-up due to being locked up and lack of communication.
[That would probably be because I was fitted for someone five inches
shorter and eighty pounds lighter than you. But don't worry, it'll fit. You
just have to squeeze.]
Say what? Either a kid or a tiny woman. I wouldn't put Kuno a whole lot
over 175 pounds. If that. Calista Flockhart! Champion over... evil and,
um, yeah.
would be no such mistakes. The armor would do it right this time, taking
things over first THEN getting drunk in celebration.
You WILL respect my prioritah.
Mousse remained where he was, watching impassively.
All for the best.
"Now you die!" Possessed Kunou screamed as he lashed viciously forward with
his hand...
...only to have the movement cause all of the straps holding the armor in
place to break simultaneously, causing every piece of it to go flying
across the room. By the time Kunou touched Mousse, the glow surrounding his
body had vanished.
mwahaha.
Mousse looked down at the finger touching his breast. He grabbed Kunou's
hand, forcing it away. "I'm not a touchy-feelie person, okay?"
Could you please stop that?
Kunou looked around in confusion. "Curious. For some odd reason, I have
this insatiable desire to rule the world."
Pinky-itis.
way through the ancient sewer system. It was nice of Kodachi to give her
and Akane two other flashlights, though who knew how the gymnast managed to
somehow keep them in that tight leotard of hers.
S'what cleavage is for. Aesthetic as well as functional.
"C.H.U.D."
So you decided to throw in a movie reference after all. What? Scream or
Scary Movie too good for you? ; >
"Forgive me, but due to my own status in life, I have had no contact with
homeless people. Do they normally appear to be about six feet tall, weigh
about three hundred pounds, have green scaly flesh, glowing eyes, and sharp
teeth?"
What's purple, green, blue and has about 100 legs? ...
Akane and Ukyou's eyes widened as they slowly, inexorably, turned around to
see close to thirty C.H.U.D.s licking their lips and spilling drool on the
floor.
You defined the D as dwellerS. So wouldn't it just be 'thirty C.H.U.D.' Kinda
like moose or deer.
His friend could only nod his head in agreement at the statement. Things
were definitely better in the old days.
Back then, we only had to walk thirty miles through the freezing snow, to
school. Uphill, both ways.
Mai sighed. "Let me spell it out for you. C...H...U...D."
So they're not completely brain dead.
picky one either. Considering how many guys she had dated during nearly
every night of her training, it was a miracle she or any of male ninja
cadets had a chance at graduating. Hell, Tai probably HAD dated cannibals
I'm a little unsure about that main sentance. She went on multiple dates,
each night?
"Here then. It's by Adidas." B.J. pulled out a yellow ribbon and tied it to
Is that 'my Adidas', or 'by' as in a line of Adidas? And now she looks like
Konatsu. How long until the swap occurs?
"Well, the disguise was perfect. I even clubbed several baby harp seals and
carried their pelts with me to add authenticity."
LOL
"I don't want you to look at it like that. I meant the material over my
breast."
B.J. gave a warded look, but moved closer and examined the material. Her
eyebrows furrowed upon seeing what Tai was referring to. "You've got to be
kidding me."
hmm. bubble wrap?
All three of the girls looked at the edifice of the building more closely.
There were more than a hundred obsidian gargoyles adorning the outside now,
all of them seeming to stare with malevolence at the 'intruders'. The
kunoichi examined the large twin fountains that adorned the grounds at the
front of the building. Blood was cascading from out of the granite
sculptures of demons that were in various states of dismembering people.
And Barney orchestrating the whole thing from the roof.
"There's not enough parking here. There's only one lot over there and it
can hold no more than thirty cars at the most."
Yeah, Museums and Universities! Evil institutions, the both of them!
"Well, for one thing, we aren't being chased by those C.H.U.D.s anymore,
right?"
Again I ask, CHUD or CHUDs?
"THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE EATEN BY A PACK OF ALBINO ALLIGATORS!!!"
Hadda happen eventually.
"Keep looking," Ranma ordered as the two of them continued to search the
first floor.
Ryouga was about to snap back a reply when he spotted a small, six inch
Fine! I will! ? How do you snap back at that?
"Magic," the doll answered. "I'll make you a deal. Release me from this
display case, and I'll give you a wish."
Is everyone going to meet up with some magical display?
"Final answer?"
And now I'm hearing the doll with Regis' voice. *smacks DB*
Giving an, "Ack!" Ryouga quickly zipped up.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!"
And every male reading this winces in pain.
famous, especially since Kasumi had a copy of her own that she kept stored
next to some of her cookbooks.
Kasumigoth! Ia! Ia!
The old man frowned. "Curses. I just got those today and wanted to break
them in, so I decided to take a chance that no one would notice." He ripped
Curses. I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those
meddlesome kids!
use such a weapon, but she knew the truth: they were just jealous of her
weapon superiority.
superior weaponry. ?
'Pigsticker II.'
YES!
"Right. I'm so sure you've never pulled something too large out of too
small a space as well."
Akane shifted uncomfortably.
Well, there was that time that Ranma and I...
observant as the pride of the Amazons would have fallen for such a
transparent disguise? Even Ryouga wouldn't have been stupid enough to fall
for it.
funny you should mention that.
sometimes he's just plain callus."
callous
Mousse shrugged. "Looks like a curator to me too. See if she has a name
tag. That's the only way to be sure."
*chuckle*
And as five sets of people ran around in ever shrinking circles, something
in the center of the museum waited.
Soon now, it would all come to an end, and then things would truly begin.
Barney II. Death by the Saccharine Devil
I know, odd place to end it, but given what happens at the starts of next
pae
Wot's a pae?
Welp, thus ends another good chapter. Am looking forward to the next
<concluding? :|> chapter. These uber kunoichi don't seem to be all that
hot stuff compared to the Ranma crew. Doesn't help that they're out-
numbered by about three to one. Somehow I'm thinking, though,
that they're all gonna have ta band together to fight the evil museum
beastie at the end.
I thought Ryoga's wish was supposed to be misleading at first but it
was hilarious all the same. : )
Keep up ze goot work!
Warr
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