Ktulu:
I don't usually read Lemons (and I've certainly never responded to any) but
I
do read everything remotely related to El-Hazard. I REALLY enjoyed this
fic. It made me laugh. Hard.
Your Wish Is My Command
An El Hazard Lemon
by Ktulu
*snip*
Jinnai paced through a long, empty hall in the Bugrom fortress. His
invasion
of El Hazard was
going off flawlessly, as always. There was only one kink in the entire
thing... his long time
archnemesis, Makoto Mizuhara. But even he couldn't resist the raw power of
the Bugrom, combined
with his own devious architecture of aggression. Jinnai contemplated
launching into one of his
glass-shattering victory laughs.... but no one was around to hear it. That
rather defeated the
entire purpose of doing it.
I dunno... I wouldn't be surprised if Jinnai laughed just to hear his own
voice.
*snip*
"That's it!!" Jinnai yelled, standing up with a start. "Makoto is trying
to
seduce my super
weapon! That cagey bastard! Well, he won't get away with it this time!!
I'll
beat him to it!
Then, my super weapon... and _all_ of El Hazard shall be MINE!
WAH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
*Massive Facefault* Actually, considering Jinnai's personality, I'm
surprised
this didn't actually happen in the oav.
Jinnai sat back down, and reached for a particular book titled 'Kama
Sutra'.
"WAH-HAHAHAHA!!
Using the years of acquired knowledge contained in this book, I'll make
myself irresistable to
women! I'll be a total stud!"
Right.... you just keep believing that.
*snip*
Jinnai walked out of his bedroom the next day with a certain swagger in
his
walk. He had
unbuttoned his coat, and not put on his tie... and had a few buttons of
his
shirt unbuttoned,
revealing a bit of his pale, sunken chest to the world. His expression was
*Jenny resists urge to throw up*
*snip*
The object of his affection (or obsession, depends how deranged your mind
is), was currently at
the end of the hall, slumped against it, looking forlornly at the floor.
Heh. That is just soooo Ifurita-like.
Jinnai casually strode
up next to her, and placed a hand against the wall near her, leaning
confidently on one arm, and
syaing, as smoothly as he could muster: "Say, baby, do you got the time?"
Ifurita regarded Jinnai strangely for a moment, then looked out a nearby
window. "By the
placement of the celestial bodies, I would say that it is about midday. As
for your reference to
me, I am no longer an infant. My body and mind have existed long before
you
were created."
Ouch! Burn!
Jinnai's eye twitched a little bit, as he retracted his arm away from
Ifurita, and walked a bit
aways, turning his back to her, and pondering to himself. "Hmm... that
didn't
work as well as I
thought it would. I'll have to use a different technique..."
Trying to remain cool, Jinnai stalked back over to Ifurita, cleared his
throat a little bit, and
tried his "smooth" act again. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or
should I walk past
again?"
Ifurita stared blankly at Jinnai. "Please state your requests more
clearly."
Ifurita: (annoyed) Cut through the BS. What the hell do you want?
Jinnai: Erm... sex. Is that so much to ask?
Ifurita: (looks Jinnai up and down for a moment.) BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(She laughs so hard that her sides burst and she collapses)
Jinnai: Does this mean no?
*snip*
Jinnai sighed a bit, then spoke. "Diva... do you find me sexually
attractive?"
Diva drew back, surprised. 'Yes!! This is it! He's proposed to me! At
last,
we can consumate our
love in the flesh!' She then lowered her voice to a secutive tone. "Ohh...
Jinnai..."
And with their only Queen becoming the sexual slave of a human, no more eggs
were laid and the entire Bugrum race dies out.
*snip*
Jinnai twisted his face away from Ifurita, so she couldn't see his lips
twist
and contort,
trying to hold back the insane laughter that was building inside. 'Yes! It
worked!! I'm going to
score!! YESS!!! I am the _GOD_!!'
*snip lemon scene that violates the most sacred thing about the entire
El-Hazard
series*
Makoto and the others gazed in shock for a while, before Makoto stepped
forward, yelling, 'What
have you done with her?!!"
Jinnai's smirk got even wider, if it were possible, then laughed.
"WAH-HAHAHAHAHA!!! I've beaten
you at your own game, Mizuhara! For see see, I, Katsuhiko Jinnai, have
seduced *and* totally
entranced Ifurita with my bad macho self!! WAH-HAHAHAHA!!!"
Nanami began snickering, but Makoto, now significantly angered, shot back.
"Oh yeah!? Well,
I... umm... I.... I BOFFED YOUR SISTER!" he said, pointing at Nanami.
That.... was smart, Makoto. Reeeeeally smart.
Afura and Nanami stared incredously at Makoto, while Jinnai looked between
Nanami and Makoto.
"Nanami.. but.. eerrgghh.. how dare you soil the family name by sleeping
with
the enemy?!
Grrr... Ifurita!!! Destroy them all!!"
Ifurita stood up a bit, then suddenly turned grabbing back onto Jinnai.
"But.. but.. I don't
want to!"
Jinnai's eye twitched dangerously. "What?!! Why not?!!"
Lifting her head up off of Jinnai's chest, her eyes sparkling as they
looked
into his bewildered
ones, she smiled and said, "Ohh.. but you've shown me the light! They are
more things in this
world then death and destruction! Come, let us return to the palace and
consumate our love
*again*!" With that, she grabbed onto Jinnai, and flew away with him,
ignoring his shrieks of
protest and oaths of vengence against Makoto.
And this, my friends, is how one changes OAV Ifurita to TV Ifurita.
Well, that was my first lemon fic. Hope you liked it, or at least found it
to
be amusing MSTing
fodder. Anyway, C&C goes to arsenal13@usa.net. Drop me a line sometime..
c'mon, submit to the
call of Ktulu. :P
Like I said. I REALLY liked this one. It was fuuuuuuunny.
Jen-Chan