The FFML Synopses List Review
======================
For the week of: April 7, 2000
Moderator on Duty: Sean Connor
Synopses Submitted: 19 [1 rejected]
Reviewer on Duty: Glazius Falconar
Synopses Reviewed: Every last blessed one
* * * * *
[Bubblegum Crisis / Dominion Tank Police]
- - - - -
Title: Dominon crisis Chapter 2
Series: DTP, BGC
Genre: Drama with bits of comedy
Author: Battlekrome
Email: battlekrome@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://members.xoom.com/Battlekrome/
Date Sent to FFML: 04/04/00
Summary:
More of the antics of Leona Ozaki and the AD police.
Agh. Alright, first thing off, the constant authorial intrusions ("We now
cut to...") are just... not working for me. If you want to change
viewpoints, it's better to prefix them with a scene break. Second off...
well, you've got a stretch of action, then a stretch of dialogue, then a
stretch of action, and so on. While this normally isn't such a bad thing, it
would help to have some dialogue mixed into the action and some words
outside of the quotation marks in the dialogue section. As it is, the
dialogue seems rather awkward and the action rather... detached.
It's obvious you're rather enthusiastic about this whole thing and enjoy
putting it down on paper (or electronic equivalent thereof) but it needs
some serious technical revising before it can be read without people
stumbling over the occasional awkward turn of phrase.
* * * * *
[Crossover]
- - - - -
Title: Ronin Summer V : Flashbacks
Chapter: Chapter Eight
Genre: cross-over
Author: Morgan Hudson
Email: dataraven_659@excite.com
Homepage: http://dataraven_659.tripod.com/roninsummer.html
Date Sent to FFML: April 2, 2000
Size: 27 KB
Series Summary:
Seiji Date and Minako Aino begin to suffer from constant and
mysterious headaches with a nasty side-effect. Now, trapped in each
other's bodies, they have to trust Artemis and Luna to psychically set
things straight by reliving their prior lives in the Moon Kingdom.
Chapter Summary:
Prince Ken makes his return to the court of the Moon Kingdom, but is
he reformed, or just playing Queen Serenity for a fool? Venus finally
gets some sleep, with a telling bedtime story courtesy of Artemis, and
Kaito Ace makes an ultimatum to his newest teammate.
May I say first that I like your Artemis? I can see where he gets the
occasional flash of excellence in the series proper.("Excuse me, beautiful
lady, but would you like to go on a date?") The best way I can sum up this
particular installment is... well... Nothing Much Happens. A pacing chapter
is probably essential in a larger work like this; everything can't happen at
once, after all... but if you're pressed for time, you won't miss out on
anything by skipping this chapter, except the hour or so of knots you'll tie
your mind in trying to figure out Artemis's bedtime story. I have to
congratulate the author, however, on working with a cast of at least ten
meaningful characters, plus guest shots, and not managing to lose a single
one of them in the shuffle.
* * * * *
[Evangelion]
- - - - -
Title: EVA 2055
Chapter: Episode 3.0, Exodus 0:3 "Heart of the Dispossessed"
Series: Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe, Continuation, Cyberpunk, Dark, Drama, Spoiler,
Other
Author: Adrian Forest
Email: dalziel_86@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/dalziel_86/index2.htm
Archived At: http://www.geocities.com/dalziel_86/ep3.htm
Date Sent to FFML: April 06, 1999
Series Summary:
Ever wondered why SEELE had such confidence in the accuracy of the
Dead Sea Scrolls? Well what if they were wrong? Funny you should
mention that, cause that's what this fic basically is. I've changed a
few events in the movies (i.e. Third Impact doesn't happen. Not too
much of a change or anything ^_^), and then advanced the timeline 40
years. Ah, you'll just have to read it.
Episode Summary:
This is where the story really starts to pick up! Aki meets Blue, and
we have the very first EVA battle of the series, culminating in a cool
emotional scene with Asuka. Oh, and Hitomi gets a nice little trinket.
After that, a nicely foreshadowing ending scene. (No, I'm not cynical
about my plotting, perish the thought ^_^)
The style and pacing and... well... just about _everything_ has improved
since I read the first installment of this series. I don't know whether it's
the fact there's more action here or what, but I picked up on names and
places and roles almost instantly... this actually wouldn't be a bad chapter
to start out on, unless I missed some bits of foreshadowing earlier.
I _like_ the Shinji-Asuka scenes. Eating popcorn while watching an EVA
battle and commenting on technique... something seems right about that. But
it's not an Angel, says Asuka... is NERV knocking down strawmen to gain the
support of the people? That seems... probable, from what I've seen. This
chapter sets up an awful lot of mysteries and whatnot... perhaps because I
missed the prior one, perhaps not... but it's definitely got me interested
in reading more of the series.
* * * * *
[Magic Knight Rayearth]
- - - - -
Title: Reunions and Tragedies
Segment: Chapter VI: A Crack in the Mirror
Series: Magic Knight Rayearth
Genre: Continuation
Author: Nikholas "elf" F. Toledo
Email: niftol@i-manila.com.ph, elf_@cefiro.com
Homepage: http://nikholas-f-toledo-zu.webjump.com
Archived at: http://nikholas-f-toledo-zu.webjump.com/reunions.html
Date Sent to FFML: 1616H 08 Apr 99 (+0800H)
Archive Number: 8964 (+ 20K)
Size: 57 KB
Series Summary:
Years after the mysterious journeys to the land of their dreams,
events and people conspire to bring the some-time saviors of Cephiro
to a new and always surprising realm, where old faces, new
developments and the ever-present magic weave an entirely fresh and
fantastic story.
Segment Summary:
Ghosts from the past and demons of the present meet as the Magic
Knights wander among the cracked-mirror images of friends from another
world. Will Lantis take the path before him?
Wow. I'd forgotten how good this was. This would be a great high-fantasy
story on its own, even without the MKR characters in it... whether that's
good or bad is up to the author, ultimately. Excellent visuals and
descriptive prose... just wish the next chapter would get here quicker, but
then speed has never been a defining trait of the Zu...
Speaking of speed and things time-related... that's where my one bit of
queasiness about this story comes in. I have no trouble identifying events
that follow one another closely as following one another closely, but it's
when you get into the flashback scenes and ones with no apparent temporal
relation to others - like Lantis's scene here - that I get a bit... lost. I
have no idea exactly _when_ they're happening. This probably shouldn't
bother me as much as it does, I know, but it's preventing the scenes from
coming together into a unified whole.
* * * * *
[Patlabor]
- - - - -
Title: On the Run
Chapter: Part 1
Series: Patlabor
Genre: Eh...
Author: David A. Tatum
Email: desaix@sysnet.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm
Archived at: Above at some future point...
Date Sent to FFML: 4/4/00
Archive Number: 8784
Size:
Series Summary:
Asuma's father is murdered, and Asuma himself if framed for it.
Chapter Summary:
Asuma's Father is murdered and he's imprisoned. Noa breaks him out of
jail.
Chapter Summary:
Gotoh, Matsui, and Takeo launch their own investigation of Asuma's
father's murder... and of the original investigators. Asuma and Noa
head over to their new hideout.
Chapter Summary:
The investigations continue, Takeo finds a source, and Noa and Asuma
discover their hideout isn't quite as well equiped as they might have
hoped.
I'm just lumping all three together, since they're part of the same
storyline and all. You don't mind, do you?
Didn't think so.
Anyway... well, this is something I could easily envision as an OAV, you
know? It's... normal, but in a good sense; it doesn't _try_ to do anything
extreme with the existing characters, or throw them any curves from beyond
the rings of Saturn or anything like that. This is something I could see
happening, and the writing and characterization and description are all
solid. Whatever you got Richard Wong from, he's certainly a likeable rogue.
Anyway, this has enough mysteries in the plot - short-term and long-term -
to keep me reading, so I'm looking forward to the next installment.
* * * * *
[Pokemon]
- - - - -
Title: POK�GENIE
Chapter: 12
Series: Pok�mon
Genre: Humor
Author: Tom Mathews a.k.a Disruptor
Email: mathews1@gte.net
Homepage: http://home1.gte.net/mathews1/
Archived At: http://home1.gte.net/mathews1/fanfic.htm
Date Sent to FFML: Apr 4, 2000
Archive Number: 8814
Series Summary:
Misty gets turned into a Pokemon which Ash accidentally captures.
Episode Summary:
Charizard becomes helpful again.
A Chansey riding a bucking Charizard.
. . .
Okay, that mental image is just too fweird. But everything else seemed to
be... rather what might be expected of a typical episode. The only problem I
have is that you've got about ten characters in an extremely enclosed space
but only a few of them seem to be doing anything at any given time. Does
only one of Misty's sisters have any lines, or was I just reading things
wrong? I realize the series may not have been too concerned with what
happened to everyone else when Ash and his friends were out on adventures,
but when they've got to share a rather small island with him, it becomes
rather important to have a sense they've not just dropped out of the
picture.
It's an interesting concept you have, and you've done some very nice things
with it so far; it's just that the whole thing feels... a little flat.
* * * * *
[Pokemon / Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: Whose Dream is it?
Series: Ranma/Pokemon
Genre: Shortfic
Author: William Morse
Email: montanto@hotmail.com
Date Sent to FFML:3/29/2000
Size:7k
Summary:
When Kasumi sleeps she dreams of a land where magical creatures live
and she and her friends travel on a continuous journey. When Kasumi
sleeps she dreams she tends the household of a martial arts dojo where
chaos reigns. This of course forces the question. Whose dream is it?
Heh. Interesting little spam piece, even though the basic idea has been
explored many, many times. This is a new wrinkle, though.
Now all we need is for someone to work out a way to bring in Kasumi from
Dead or Alive, and we'll be all set...
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: Forgive and Forget
Chapter: Chapter 1
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: semi-serious
Author: Neil Kinnison
Email: toowolves@yahoo.com
Date Sent to FFML: April 04, 2000
FFML Archive Number:
Series Summary:
Kasumi decides to host Claire Walters, her pen-pal from the states as
a foreign exchange student. Now Claire finds herself lost in a world
of unaturaly violent fiance's, false accusations and ridiculous
martial arts. She discovers a new friend in the red-headed little
sister of Ranma, Lanko. Ranma soon realizes he's not the only one in
the world who harbors secrets. Now He must try to cope with his
fiances, keeping his word as a friend, his anger and a disturbing
discovery about himself. When someone slips and falls down the well of
dispare, can they crawl back out? Even whith help?
Episode Summary:
Claire arrives at Nerima and realizes that Japan is a very different
place.
A Normal Person Comes To Nerima... yeah, I like your title better. I do
wonder why Kasumi invited her to the Tendo Dojo... things often get a bit
hairy there, though I imagine Kasumi doesn't see it that way...
Anyway. It's an interesting premise, one that I haven't seen done in a
while, though... well, she seems to take Akane chasing Ranma a little more
serious than she should. Claire's never chased her little brother around the
house for peeking in her diary, all the while threatening grievous bodily
harm? That's the general tone Akane-mallets-Ranma seems to have for me. It
will be interesting to see where this goes... I don't see _any_ evidence of
the stuff you allude to in that series summary so far, so of course I'm
curious.
- - - - -
Title: Gratuitous Self: Meta-meta-what?
Chapter: 13-14
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Satire
Author: TimeRunner
Email: keiichi@i-manila.com.ph
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482
Date Sent to FFML: April 04, 2000
FFML Archive Number:
Series Summary:
Gratuitous Self may be dead, or at least dormant, but its memory lives
on. Unfortunately, TimeRunner is going to share his ideas with us
whether we want him to or not.
Episode Summary:
TimeRunner tackles the word 'sparse' and workshop writing classes.
Huh. Can't review much here without getting into a discussion of opinions,
because this is heavily infused with Author's Tilt, being a couple short
essays and all, and I don't want to start shooting writing philosophies back
and forth. All I'll say is, if anyone's ever said that your writing isn't
good because of Rule Of Literature Number 2343 or something like that, read
these and you'll feel a bit better about yourself.
- - - - -
Title: The Iris tales: Markings
Chapter: (side-story)
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: slice-of-life
Author: Nicholas Leifker
Email: nightelf@thekeep.org
Homepage: http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic
Date Sent to FFML: April 5, 2000
Archive Number: 8820
Size: 8k
Series Summary:
Ranma grows up.
Episode Summary:
Essentially, the aftermath, set several years after the Iris tales.
Sorry if I don't explain it further; you really need to have read the
Iris stories to appreciate it (not to mention to avoid spoilers!)
Avoid spoilers indeed. Oy. This is definitely a "day-in-the-life" piece,
highlighting just how much Iris's main character _wasn't_ changed by the
events of the story. You heard me. Right up to the last couple of
paragraphs, and then _bam_ I suddenly was reminded I _was_ in an alternate
continuity after all. Plus ca change...
As epilogue, this works out very nicely indeed, but you _do_ have to set
aside the couple of hours it would take to read the story in the first
place.
- - - - -
Title: Mixed Signals
Chapter: 14
Series: Ranma
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Author: Kent Hyam
E-mail: rodney.hyam@sk.sympatico.ca
Date Sent to FFML: 04/04/00
Size: 28 Kbs
Series Summary:
The sequel to Crossed Wires. Ranma's hoping that his life will get
back to normal, but Happosai's return makes this unlikely.
Episode Summary:
Ukyo puts Shampoo's perfect plan into action, but things don't go as
expected. Ryoga makes an unsettling discovery.
Oh my. This is _not_ a series you decide to up and read chapter 14 of just
out of the blue. I could piece together a bit of what had happened, and who
was in whose body, (that plot device was familiar, thank goodness) and who
_thought_ was in whose body, and who thought who _knew_ who was in whose
body...
Agh. There's going to be a whole new status quo for weirdness, I can tell
you that much.
- - - - -
Title: Presently Untitled (sumbitted with subject field 'I wonder...'
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Jason Liao
Email: jliao@princeton.edu
Date Sent to FFML: April 01, 1999
Size: 10K
Summary:
A tentative intro to a relationship between two characters that has
not been addressed before.
Nothing posted on April Fools' Day is taken seriously.
Pity, that.
This deserves to be. Really. This deserves a bit more setup than it was
given, and a _lot_ more development. It's... a rather big change, one that
could _easily_ be the foundation of a much larger story, because it's really
_not_ foreshadowed in canon at all. More I will not say... read this on your
own, because it came as quite a shock to _me_...
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Robotech]
- - - - -
Title: Silent Battles, Deaf Victories
Segment: Chapter 1: Crossroads
Series: Ranma 1/2 / Robotech
Genre: Crossover
Author: Latin_D
Email: latin_d@uol.com.ar
Date Sent to FFML: 04/08/2000
Size: 31 KB
Series Summary:
Hunted by memories, Ranma stumbles into the SDF-1 and finds himself
deeply involved in the First Robotech War.
Segment Summary:
In the worst day of Macross� history, Ranma visits the island.
Hmm. I count... three seperate narrations. The fairy-tale-esque narrator,
who speaks in Capital Letters and who does a marvelous job of recapping the
action in Ranma to date, Ranma looking around Macross Island, and Ranma
remembering the first time he and Akane met up with the SDF-1. The problem
is that they intertwine... a bit too much. I appreciate what you're trying
to do - it's certainly a bit easier to read them as you've set them up than
it is to read them in sequence - but they seem to take over for each other a
bit _too_ often. This might be forgivable if the passages they narrate are
analogous, but that doesn't seem to be the case, at least to my untrained
eye. Cut down on the number of swaps you do - break each story into perhaps
two or three sections - and you won't run the risk of losing your reader
just as they've gotten used to envisioning one setting around Ranma.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Sailor Moon]
- - - - -
Title: A Fist Full of Tendous
Chapter: 02 - The Name's Thomas... Florida Thomas!
Series: Ranma 1/2 Sailor Moon
Genre: Humour/Adventure
Author: Kevin D. Hammel
Email: kevinsff@pacbell.net
Homepage: www.anime.sobhrach.com/~khammel
Archived at:
Date Sent to FFML: 06 Apr 2000
Archive Number: 8906
Size: 32K
Series Summary:
Using a spell she found in a book purchased in Cairo, "Florida Thomas"
(AKA Feldspar from "Children of Fire") sends herself, her sister, and
their mother to another dimension, dragging the three Tendou sisters
>from yet another dimension along.
Chapter Summary:
Globe-trotting archeologist "Florida Thomas" appears. The six visitors
also meet "Atlanta" Thomas Florida's bodyguard, and "Carolina" Thomas,
Florida's manager. The Thomas sisters live in Tokyo. After defeating
Shampoo and Mousse, and pawning some jewels to raise capital, the
visitors prepare to board the R-111 on a flight to Tokyo. They will
have company, as the Thomases and the Amazons are taking it too...
...Shampoo is _not_ this brainless. And still breathing. She _knows_
something about strategy and suchlike... not that a carefully executed plan
will work any better, but it'll shift the dynamic from Elmer Fudd vs. Bugs
Bunny to Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner. The difference between the two is
that intellect is the only thing keeping one party from harming the other in
the first case, and I rather doubt Shampoo could make much of a dent in
_any_ of the Tendos who've suddenly crossed dimensional lines.
As for the Tendos themselves... well, outside of the good vs. evil spat they
have in one scene, they seem... oddly bland. I guess that's because they're
being written second-hand, but I think a lot of potential's going to waste.
Then again, the story is early yet, and I will want to watch and see how the
rest turns out...
* * * * *
[Sailor Moon / Terminator]
- - - - -
Title: Eclipse of the Moon: Purification Day
Chapter: 2
Series: Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon and Terminator
Genre: Action, Satire
Author: Miashara
Email: s2mlmill@titan.vcu.edu
Homepage: http://www.execulink.com/~stryker
Date Sent to FFML: April 06, 2000
Size: 14k
Series Summary:
Sailor Moon vs The Terminator
Episode Summary:
Lots of running around, magical fighting, and generally warped events.
Includes unecessary violence, tastless jokes, and warnings. And
sarcasm. LOTS of Sarcasm.
Ah, sketch comedy. Nothing that made me fall out of my chair laughing, but
some genuinely funny bits overall. Not much else you can say about a piece
geared for sketch comedy, really, so I'll leave it at that.
* * * * *
[Sailor Moon / Yoroiden Samurai Troopers]
- - - - -
Title: Ronin Summer V : Flashback
Chapter: Chapter Nine : Soulmates
Series: Sailor Moon / Yoroiden Samurai Troopers
Genre: cross-over
Author: Morgan Hudson
Email: dataraven_659@excite.com
Homepage: http://dataraven_659.tripod.com/roninsummer.html
Date Sent to FFML: April 8, 2000
Size: 28 KB
Series Summary:
Seiji Date and Minako Aino begin to suffer from constant and
mysterious headaches with a nasty side-effect. Now, trapped in each
other's bodies, they have to trust Artemis and Luna to psychically set
things straight by reliving their prior lives in the Moon Kingdom.
Segment Summary:
Kaito Ace visits with Sage long enough to "borrow" a certain book of
some importance to hid plot, and wakes the injured scribe up to gloat
with him and drop off another clue. Venus has a rather interesting
plan to help Sage back to health, and proceeds to go through with
it. Meanwhile, Ken makes up with his sister, and seems to be set on
planting mysterious jewelled pins on all of the Sailor Senshi. Rowen
becomes quite flustered, and Jupiter learns to her delight that elves
do, in fact, glow... under the right conditions.
And now you know... the _rest_ of the backstory. Sorta. We know how they got
into the present-day confusion in the first place, at least. And there's a
lot of nice, wholesome (and slightly less-than-wholesome, nudge nudge, wink
wink) character interaction - the defining characteristic of this series,
really. Again I commend the author on working with a cast of ten and giving
them all life... can't wait for the next part, though... seems the plot's
_really_ going to start picking up then.
* * * * *
[You're Under Arrest]
- - - - -
Title: Accidental Intentions
Series: You're Under Arrest
Genre: police drama
Author: James Chu
Email: jjc@jchu.simplenet@remove@.com
Homepage: http://jchu.simplenet.com/
Archived At: http://jchu.simplenet.com/fanfic/accidents.txt
Date Sent to FFML: April/06/2000
Archive Number: 8886
Size: 6K
Summary:
A mysterious gunman is on the loose in Tokyo. (This fic is in its
preliminary stages)
Extremely preliminary... just one scene, really. It's a rather vivid
scene... perhaps too much description on the bus crashing for my taste, but
it does set the stage rather nicely for a much larger work. I'd offer to
preread, but I don't know the series...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And thus ends the reviews for the week. Sorry they're late... this would
have gone out Tuesday, but I forgot to send it before I left for spring
break. A bit too rushed heading out, I guess.
Anyway, folks... just remember. If you want to plug your fanfic, or have
someone just take a quick look at it, you can always send it to the Synopses
List. Elsa's said she'll do line-by-line, and I think I can manage perhaps
two of those a week as well, depending on classes and whatnot. So keep
writing; you've got someone who'll look at it for you.
--G. Falconar