Subject: [FFML] [MST] Mystery Lemon Theatre 3000: Reeny's Crush For Darien
From: "Rob Kelly" <patkelly85@hotmail.com>
Date: 4/20/2000, 11:00 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Three Sailor Moon Lemons Part 2:
Reeny�s Crush for Darien
Written by [Anon]
MSTed by Rob �Suzaku Soldier� Kelly [suzaku@madasafish.com]

Pre-MST notes: Glad you could stick with us, dear reader as the MSTing world�s equivalent of a Triple Threat match continues. Katsumi and Akito have, thankfully for them, dropped out, and so have Ranma and Tamahome, it�s up to Heero Yuy, Yaten Kou, Crow Robot and Tom Servo to MST the last two. Oh, this a Chibi-lemon, so watch out and be wary and make sure you know your way around the birds and the bees, as a horny Rini is on the loose, and she�ll go on anyone�
=======================================================================
Cue Mystery Lemon Theatre Opening� Now.

Since when was Virginia funny?

In the not too distant future,
Somewhere in time and space,
Four anime boys in their Queen of Hearts,
Are caught in an endless chase.

Nakago and Tomo are aboard a ship,
Piloted by fangirls who made �em sick.
They found a teen that was dumb, they deemed,
So they took him by force to carry out their schemes!

(Rob) GET... ME... DOWN!
(Nakago) We�ll send them crappy lemons, the worst we can find. (Lalala)
(Tomo) The boys will sit and watch them all, and we�ll monitor there
Minds! (Lalala)  Now keep in mind that Rob controls, Where the lemons
Begin or end, (lalala)
The guys have got to keep their sanity,
Or they�ll be used on our friends!

RIFFER ROLL CALL:
Ranma! (What, now?)
Yaten! (Minna baka!)
Tamahome! (Get me down!)
Heerooo! (Oy�)

And if you�re wondering how we eat or breathe and other science fact, (lalala)
Repeat to yourself �It�s just a file, I should really just relax�,
For Mystery Lemon Theatre 3000!

*Guitar twang*

**********************************************************************************************************
[The screen suddenly turns to static, then clear to reveal Rob in the SCR (Slick Control Room)]
Rob: Hey there, and Welcome to the Slick Control Room, where we are broadcasting live coverage of a three lemon marathon taken up by Heero, Yaten and Ranma and Tamahome�s temporary replacements, Crow and Tom. You see, Nakago wanted to see if the guys could take three lemons viewed one after another. The first one was already taken care of, but we have two more to go. And we can go live to the theatre where we can catch up with our four intrepid heroes.

[Rob presses a button and the screen turns to static again and clears to show the theatre�]

Crow: So what have you seen since you got stuck?
Heero: Two Sailor Moon lemons, one a crossover and a El-Hazard lemon, a Gundam Wing lemon and a Ranma lemon.

[NB: Nodoka in Love is back online and coming soon!]

Tom: Sh, the lemon�s starting up�

Reeny's crush for Darien Part 1

Tom: She wants to pulp him and feed him to Chibi Chibi!
Crow [Chibi Chibi]: Chibi! (Mm! Good!)
Yaten: Please be a little less dark, I feel ill already!
Heero: Hn. Le Grande Bouffe, anyone? Or Delicatessen?
Yaten: Urk! [Turns to over and ralphs behind his seat]
Heero: Gomen nasai.

Reeny stared at Darien who was watching TV. The two were sitting in his apartment. Reeny >held tightly onto a Light pink pen.

Crow: Then the pen snapped, cutting her wrist, and spraying blood all over the place.
Yaten: What a way to go.

"Darien, I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back."

Heero: Watch Scream lately, Chibi?

Reeny jumped off the cough

Tom: Coughs, the new comfortable resting chair.
Yaten: -20% more comfortable chair than a the leading brands.

and ran into his bedroom. She shut the door behind her. She had over heard Serena >moaning in the bathroom, Darien�s' name.

Tom: She�s having a usual morning?
Yaten: Old, should be in a retirement home.
Heero: It came out of retirement to have another crack at it.

It was appearent what she ws doing. And fantasizing about Darien also!
Reeny lifted the pen into the air. "Sexy Girl Transformation!"

Crow: Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
Tom: Tyrannosaurus!
Yaten: Healer Star Power, Make Up!
Heero: Fanboy Planet Power, Make Up!

[MOO! THWAM!]

Heero: Crushed by a cow� What a way to go�

[Yaten pushes the cow off Heero]

Tom: Guess Chaos hates being spoofed.

she cried. Pink ribbons wrapped around her body. Her hair burst from the ordango style and >flowed to the ground.

[Tom imitates a toilet flushing.]

Her apperance had changed into a sexy womans.

Tom [sarcastic]: No! You don�t say!

Her breasts were round and firm in size, and her crotch was perfectly shaved.

Crow: Woah.
Heero: Well, there goes the Chibi element.
Yaten: This should be painless now.

Reeny stared into the mirror at herself. She giggled. "This is sure to impress Darien! Soon >what Serena fantasizes about, is going to come true for me!"

Yaten: Oh, so she�s jealous is she? Jealous of her own mother?
Heero: Darien is definitely the wrong guy for her.
Tom: Faulty chromosomes during conception to do that to a kid.

She pulled on a see through teddy, and slipped out the door, setting the pen on the table. >"Oh Darien.." she purred.

Crow: If Ranma was here, I would have ran around the theatre, screaming out in catophoic panic, �CAAAAAAAAT!!!!!� But he isn�t here so I won�t.
Heero: Ranma only does that when a cat is actually near him. He wouldn�t freak if he saw a cat an TV or the cinema.
Crow: Ever read 11:11?

Dariens eyes widened. He slowly looked behind him to see a sexy girl standing in his >apartment.

Heero [Darien]: Who are you and what have you done with Rini?
Tom [Rini]: [Facefaults]

he felt himself stiffen. "R-Reeny!?" he cried.

Yaten: Everyone got Soun Tendo�s Syndrome, I see.

She nodded, and stutted over to the couch. "Oh Darien, I want to make love to you. I want to >feel your manhood inside me."

Tom: Why not drill it into her? *VRRRRRRTT!*
Yaten: Eeeeww.

Darien was to shocked to speak. Reeny straddled his lap and began to rub up against him. >"Please Darien." she still had the pleading cute look to her. Darien felt himself get harder.

Tom: The turn to stone shtick. Been in circulation since 1997.
Heero: I would say earlier that that.

The pleasure Reeny caused was already greater than any his own hand could. He nodded, >moaning as Reeny rubbed him with her hand through his jeans.

Tom: Permission to TOGG, sir!
Crow: Permission granted, private!
All: TOGG!

Reeny smiled. She stood up and pulled him gently into the bedroom. There she pushed him >onto the bed. She straddled him again.

Tom: I didn�t see her straddle him before that. Anybody?
Yaten: No.
Tom: Nope.
Crow: Nuh-uh.

She unbuttoned his shirt, and began kissing down his chest. She ran her fingers over his >musculer chest, admiring it. She slowly worked her way back up, kissing his chin then >kissing him. She gently parted his lips with her tounge and slipped it in.

Tom: Talk about mistress of stealth!
Crow: Don�t say mistress after a Fanboys ref please.
Yaten: OHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOO! Call me Queen!
Crow [freaking out]: AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!! Ojou-sama! Ojou-sama! Ojou-samaAAAAAA!
Heero and Yaten: O_O;

Darien reached up and began squeezing her tit.

Yaten: Cruelty to birds!
Heero: Get the Humane Society on the line.

Reeny moaned. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. She saw a lump of fabric >poke through.

Crow: So that�s why Rini�s a freak! Darien�s thing is made of fabric!

She smiled. "Looks like you are ready," she teased.
Darien smiled. Reeny pulled his pants and boxers down. Darien's member sprung free.

Yaten: To live in the wild with other penii in their natural habitat.
Tom: Yaten!
Yaten: Sorry, I just read John Felix�s �Tuxedo and The Bitch� MSTing.

[CRASH!]

Tom: The hell?
Crow: Just the Fourth Wall. Nothing to worry about.

Reeny tossed the jumble of clothes aside. She pulled the shirt from his shoulders. She then >slowly and percotivly pulled off her nightie.

Yaten: Percotivly?
Tom: Myx-[klik]-ti�plan word for �Pervertedly�, which describes this fic.

Her tits bounced.

Heero: More bird cruelty.
Yaten: They should be hanged!

Darien rolled over so Reeny was below him. He gently sucked on her nipple, and caressed >the other with his hand. Reeny moaned in pleasure. "Oh Darien," she ran her fingers >through his black hair.
Dariens' hand snaked down to Reenys' flower.

Tom: What kind of girl puts a flower there?
Crow: A Darien borne one. As always.
Yaten: Tuxy-bashing is fun!

He slowly rubbed over it. Reeny groaned and lifted her hips. Darien smiled. "You like?" he >purred sexily. He lowered himself to her sex. The sent filled his nostrils and made him lick his lips. He >slowly kissed her lips. His tounge slipped into her and he gently sucked.

Yaten: Ew!
Tom: My god, he�s speared her with his tounge! He�s a real Gene Simmons!
Heero: And he�s sucking out her innards! This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Endymion really is!
All: THE DEMON PRINCE FROM OUTER SPACE!

He reached one finger in and slowly moved it in and out. Reeny moaned and rocked her >hips. His finger traced over her clit. Reeny shivered. "There! Do that again!"
Darien did.

Crow: Again! Again!
Tom [Darien]: Bite me.

"Oh Darien, that feels so good, my body...it's! OOoohh.." she panted. "Don't stop!"
Darien smiled. He sucked her more and Reeny was rocking violently against his face. >"Darien, I'm cumming!" Juices flowed onto Dariens tounge and he licked them up as much >as he could.

Tom [Tyler Durden]: Did you know urine is sterile? That�s right. You can drink it.

When Reeny finished Darien begain kissing her full lips, probing her mouth with his tounge. >"Darien," Reeny said lowly. "Please, can we have sex now? I want it so bad..."

Heero: I hope to Kami-sama Serena walks in now.
Yaten: It�s our only hope�

Darien nodded, his member at the entrance to her pussy. "Brace yourself Reeny," he >warned, as he thrust deeply into her, cutting through her hymen.

Tom: Random surgery time..
Crow: Snip snip!

Reeny howled in pain, tears sprang to her eyes. Darien closed his eyes and silently >apologized. He continued to ram into her cunt, pull out then ram into her again. Reeny >gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut.

Crow: If she�s not wanting to watch this, I�m with her on this.

Darien continued. Suddenly Reeny felt a pange of pleaure. Her eyes fluttered open. The pain was subsiding and the pleaure was suddenly over bearing.

Yaten: Uh oh, they�re gonna blow.

Reeny moaned and lifted her hips to meet Dariens thrust.

Tom: It missed and slammed into the wall.

Darien held back to keep from exploding in Reeny's young tight Virgin pussy. He could tell >Reeny was close. "Oh Darien, I'm cumming again!" Reeny moaned.

Crow: Hold on, another overflow, coming up!

"Me too Reeny!" Darien moaned. "DARIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!" "REENY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tom: CHIEF!!!
Crow: MCCLOUD!!
Heero: Murderer. Several exclamation marks died for the orgasm.

Both came. Darien exploded inside Reeny, ramming into her.

Tom: Oh, brother, he blew up again.
Crow: Is there a doctor in the balcony?

Reeny came all over his cock, coating it with her love juices. Darien saw Reeny shrink back >to her normal self, and she pulled off of him.

Yaten: Orgasms can do that to a shapeshifter. Look at Taiki in Secrets of the Sexy Slippers.
Tom: Wait a sec. You�re a shapeshifter.
Yaten: What, you thought the voice was natural? I�m really a woman, assuming this form to try and find Princess Kakyuu.
Crow. Shwing!
Yaten: it�s not funny.

"Thank you Darien." she said lightly, before curling up and

Tom: Dying.

falling asleep.

Tom: Oh, poopie.

Darien kissed her on the forehead and got out of bed. He walked into the living room and >stuck one of his Hentai tapes.

Crow: Hey, go in Serena�s room, idiot! She�s always dreaming of you, so take advantage of it!

The screen flashed on and he bagan to jack off, waiting for Reeny to come to again, for >them to start over.

Tom: Guh, more pedophilla.
Heero; It�s like Pringles to him, once you pop you can�t stop.
Tom: I�m never eating Pringles again.

the end for now!

Crow: Thanks for that little snippet of info. NOT!
Heero: Let�s go before Nakago sends the other one�

***************************************************************
<Reverse Door Sequnce�>

[On the control bridge of the Queen of Hearts, something looks different. There is a large box on the table, which Heero is crammed inside, like Joel was in The Amazing Colossol Man. The inside of the box is also a very accurate mock-up of the QoH bridge.]

Heero: Yaten� Are you sure this�ll work?
Yaten: Of course. Just follow then lines. Make them think you�re 50ft.
Heero: Right�.

[The red light comes on on the console.]

Tom: Heads up, we�ve got something on the hexfield.
Crow: Bring the camera up here Tom!
Tom: Yes, your Royal pain.
Crow: Hey!
[Tom pushes the button�]

[Slick]
Nakago: Well, how are my little�. Hold on a sec� What happened here?!

[QoH]
Heero [angsty]: What kind of sin could a man commit in a single lifetime to bring this upon himself? [Hits the floor] Ahh!! No!
Crow: Uh, Heero?
Yaten: Heero?
Crow: Won't you talk to us?
Heero: No! Go away! [Hits the floor] Ahh! I'm huge! Ahh!
Tom: We'd like to ask you a few questions. How do you feel?
Heero: What do you mean how do I feel? I feel huge! [Hits floor] I'm a fifty foot man! Gahh, ooh, no!!
Crow: Do you think you're having delusions of grandeur?
Yaten: Well, he's a colossal man, of course he's having delusions--oh, ask him another question!
Crow: Okay, uh, uh, who's your favorite Monkee?
Tom: Oh, here, let me! How many fish can you name?
Crow: Yeah!
Heero: How many fish can I name? What kind of questions are these? I'm a fifty foot tall man! You don't care about me! Go away! Ooh, no!
Yaten: Oh, that's not true Heero! We're trying to do everything in our power to help you!
Crow: Yeah...
Tom: Oh, this isn't working. I don't think anything can save him.
Crow: Ah, he's just being difficult 'cause he's a freak!
Heero: No...
Tom: Yeah, let's try plan B! Okay?
Crow: Oh, yeah, plan B!
Yaten: Right. *Ahem* Heero, are you still there?
Heero: Of course I'm still here! I'm immense! I'm huge! [Hits floor] Ahh, ooh, eee!
Tom: We have some-one here who can help you! [Whispers to Crow and Yaten] Go ahead!

[The door on the left opens up, and Crow pokes a Yaten doll through it.]

Yaten: Uh, Heero-kun? Um...I'm...I really still love you, and I'm not gonna leave you in this position...some condition...[There's a knock at the other door] Oop, someone's at the door!

[The other door opens, and Servo pokes a male doll through it]

Tom: Uh, hello? Uh, hi there honey! How'd you like to go out with a normal guy tonight? (Tom and Crow laugh.]
Yaten [breaking character]: Alright, come on you, that's it, this is getting too dumb, you guys, forget it.
Crow: Hey, Servo, how'd you get your arm to work?

[QoH]
Nakago: Oh, that's it, every time I try to talk civilised to you guys a little, you gotta twist it around and do one of your little jokes. Well, listen, you guys can just turn around and sashe those little robot metal butts of yours into the theater where you can learn a real something about isolation and loneliness! ROB!!! Send them the last LEMON!!!

[QoH]
Crow and Tom: We're sorry...
Tom: Freak! {Movie sign]
Heero: GYAAAAAAAAAHHH, we got LEMON SIIIIGNNN!

[Heero busts out of the cardboard box and runs into the theatre with the others�]

To Be Conitnued�.


Cast...

Riffers:
Tom Servo [MST3K] ("And what is a �disclaner� exactly?")
Crow T. Robot [MST3K] ("[Nurse] Time for your Prozac, honey.")
Heero Yuy [Gundam Wing] ("Murderer. Several exclamation marks died for the orgasm.")
Yaten Kou [Sailormoon SailorStars] (�What, you thought the voice was natural? I�m really a woman, assuming this form to try and find Princess Kakyuu.")

Mads:
Nakago [Fushigi Yuugi] ("Don�t you think for a minute you could run away from me!")
Tomo [Fushigi Yuugi] ("OK, that was a little strange. ")

Mads' Reluctant Assistant:
Rob [IRL] ("[Hick] Well I�ll be!")

Disclaimer Time!

Sailor Moon is Naoko Takeuchi's copyright.
Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
Fushigi Yuugi is property of Watase Yuu
Gundam Wing from Sunrise
I partly own MLT3K, 'cuz it's inspired by MST3K (in particular, Season 8) which
is property of Best Brains Inc.
A Slumber Party comes from the nutso noggin of Vurgine and HE CAN HAVE IT!

Think of the MST is funny C&C. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE!!
Call me for C&C at suzaku@madasafish.com

Keep circulating the fanfics, MSTs and lemons(not to mention the tapes)...

And now, the Stinger...
The screen flashed on and he bagan to jack off, waiting for Reeny to come to again, for >them to start over.



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