On Wed, 19 Apr 2000, Elsa Bibat wrote:
A Kaze Makase Tsukikage Ran shortfic
By Elsa Bibat
Wow, I didn't expect anything for this series for a long time. I've only
seen one untranslated episode of it. Good stuff!
I walk in, slipping my arms out of my gi. The rough
edges of my hakama sway in the slight wind that blew
lightly with my entrance, kicking up a little dust. The main
street was quite busy, merchants and townspeople going
about their businness.
Even from my limited experience with the anime, you have the character
down. I could see her clearly from this short excerpt.
I wheeze, as always, after I drink it,
but everyone does that. And besides I haven't had sake in a day
now. Have to catch up on my consumption.
The wheeze plus the mention of consumption brings to mind TB for some
reason. Interesting, but I don't think that's what you're going for.
Unless you want to throw in a little Rose of Versailles feel...
When was the last time you looked at a man like that, Ran?
Never! I am Oscar Jarjeyes!
The thought had come out of nowhere that it almost made me
spill my sake.
Awkward sentence.
The last time I looked like that for a man was for Jun.
And a Nadesico crossover! When do we get to see Yurika, the goofy yet
intelligent gang leader?
Hope Jun and that geisha of his live happy.
Another awkward sentence.
The way I broke his
arm, he'd probably be able to get back to being a sell-sword after a
few months and that geisha of his was good. She'd probably get a
few ryo for a performance of two.
^^
or
Another person in trouble. Why does Myao always drag me into
these thing?
these things
Always, me an Myao manage to arrive at places where our help was
me and Myao
Or, more properly, "Myao and I." But I think you're going for a rougher,
more casual feel.
Maybe the kamis of the wind are guiding us? I am amused by
You pluralize is with an "s" here, but leave it as "kami" later on. I'd
say to stick to the latter.
Besides the sake's always good. And no one tells me what to
Besides,
+++
Good stuff! Thanks for the fun read, it makes me want to see more of the
series. :)
Colleen
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ODP: http://dmoz.org/profiles/minty.html