Subject: [FFML] [FNN] Broadcast 4 - Just Another Day
From: "Jason L. McClaskey" <af776@acorn.net>
Date: Wed, 19 Apr 0 13:42:03 EDT
To: ffml@fanfic.com (Fanfiction Mailing List)
CC: ryosoft@juno.com

  FFN:  All Fanfiction news, all the time...
  Broadcast 4: Just Another Day
    Director, Jason McClaskey

***

--

  Coming up tomorrow, on the Anime Hunting Network.  'Uncle Ernest 
Goes on Safari.'  Thrill to the continuing adventures of this 
courageous master of the hunt, as he plunges into the depths of 
L.A. traffic.  This weeks objectives are a tuna sandwich on rye, 
and the elusive Charmander.

  Will he find his quarry?  Or will he again lose his way, bumping
into the 'Wandering Anime Characters Anonymous with Major Grudges
Against Safari Hunters' meeting?

--

  Tonight at 11, on the Anime Network.  Massive chaos and confusion,
which ensues when domestic violence spills into the streets.  Watch
as everyday citizens, disgruntled by their overbearing family members,
let loose on rampages of death and destruction in Tokyo's city streets.
You can only catch it on 'When Martial Artists Go Berserk.'

--

  "And now, the 3 o'clock news, with Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome."

--

  The cameras lie in wait, as the lights are prepped and director
Raye Hino stalks from tech to tech, berating their slowness and
calling for replacements.  The two anchors sit behind the anchor
desk, being readied.

  "Honestly Ranma, did you have to ask Ryoga to fetch that glass
of water?  Now he'll never get back for the start."

  From within a cloud of makeup dust, a pigtail appears.  "How
was I supposed to know they moved that water cooler, Akane?
Besides, it's not like you really wanted him here anyway."

  "And just what is that supposed to mean!?"  Gripping her notes
fiercely, Ranma decides to reconsider his next remark.  Or two.

  The lighting comes up to a higher level, and Raye points to the
red light above.  "If you two are done bickering, could we get
this over with?"

  The music begins, as screens display the FFN Network logo.
As the motion is given, Akane looks up to the camera.  "Good
afternoon, this is the 3 o'clock news.  Today is April 19,
and I'm Akane Tendo.  Ryoga is not available today, so filling
is will be Ranma Saotome, the largest pervert--"

  "Hey!"

  "-- this side of the Pacific."

  "Today's biggest story is the surprising number of panties
being stolen in the Nerima ward during the past two weeks.
Bringing us the information that could break this case is
Nerima resident Genma Saotome."

  Camera cuts to see Genma walk into the studio, in human form.
He waddles to the guest seat, and sits slightly off balance.
Also, he looks really fat and puffy.

  "So, Mr. Saotome, what do you know about this panty thief?"

  Genma replies nervously, "what panty thief?  I thought this
was that new all-you-can-eat okonomiyaki place!"  He quickly
pulls up his pants, but not before dropping something.  Ranma
quickly captures it, and shows it to the cameras.

  Akane, looking beet-red, grabs the item, before pounding
Genma into the backdrop.  "YOU PERVERT!  Those are MY panties!!"
She turns towards Ranma.  "You helped him do this!  Argh!"
Pulling out a mallet, she promptly wallops Ranma into the lower
floor, then stalks off the set.

  Raye quickly steps in front of the camera, motioning for a
remote shot.  "We now go live to Ryoga Hibiki, reporting from
somewhere near the Gulf of Mexico."

---

  "Have you found yourself saddled with guests or family
members who seem to eat more than an Army infantry platoon?"

  "If your dinner menu includes more than six courses,
give the 'Society for Massive Food Deployments' a call.  We
specialize in bulk foods, Army surpluses, and the 800 sq.
ft. freezers for it all.  Guaranteed to feed at least 20
large pigs, our packages are custom-balanced to today's
gluttons and martial artists who routinely go on 10-year
training missions."

  "Order now, and we'll even throw in a free 20-oz. bottle
of Dasani-brand Jusenkyou Curse-B-Gone!"

---

  Meanwhile, somewhere in the FFN broadcast center, a meeting
is being held behind locked (well, closed anyway) doors.

  "Pikachu!  Pi pi pika, chu pi pikachu!"

  "Hmm...  Yes, that is possible, Pikachu.  But wouldn't that
involve too much whipped cream for a primetime newscast?"

  "Piiiiii.... pika."

  "Just use less of it?  Yes, yes...  all right, we'll start
with the 3 o'clock news first, to test the waters, so to 
speak."

  "Pikachu!"

---

  The lights brighten, the cameras roll, and Akane is back
at the anchor desk.

  "Welcome back to the 3 o'clock news, with Akane Tendo.
Ranma Saotome is presently unavailable, and so we move
on to the weather, with Serena Tsukino."

  Camera cuts to the weather area, which has a holographic
projection showing the Kanto plain area, with little icons
all over the place.  Serena is holding an overly-complicated
remote for the device, and is dressed in a too-short dress
again.

  "Hi!  I'm like this weathergirl, and the weather will be
something like...  umm, sunny and warm?  Or is it cold and
wet?  Oh, I don't know.  Highs will be above the lows this
whole week, with a 10% chance of weather and a 30% chance
of naked Amazons; what?!"

  She tries working the remote, but all that does is cause
the weather map to display some hard-core sex channel by
mistake.  Blushing immensely, Serena keeps pushing buttons,
and backing up from the screen.  As she does, she accidentally
pushes the buttons on her dress, which give way, causing it
to drop to the floor.  She again runs in horror from the
studio.

  Camera cuts back to Akane, who is looking at the weather
map, with a rather stunned and puzzled look on her face.
"Umm, that was... Serena with the coming week's weather.
Uh, yeah."

  Looking back at the camera, she shuffles her papers
together.  "This has been the 3 o'clock news for April
19, and I am Akane Tendo.  Thank you, and good night."

  The lights dim out, as the camera fades to the FFN
Network logo.

---

***

Author's notes:  Finally got another broadcast out!  Yet another
production of RyoSoft Medias, on the FanFic News Network.  I hope
to have the fifth installment out sometime, and hope someone still
remembers this series! :)

  C&C, flames, etc. send to af776@acorn.net




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