Comments: I have no problem with the use of Japanese honorifics. In
fact I prefer it to translating "Akane-chan" into "Little Akane".
However, this Ryouga should not be referring to a princess as "san".
"Now, now. You know Mousse's curse is worse. Besides, I
thought you liked being Akane's pet? I mean, I know it isn't
honerable,
"honourable"
"She sounds familiar... Isn't she in that men's catlouge?"
"catalogue"
Ryouga isn't a very good bodyguard with that curse of his.
"Why of course father. Mistriss Kodachi, Kuno-oo*, if you will
follow me as well?" Both of them nodding, all of the first six
arrivers
"Mistress", "arrivals". However, why is Kasumi calling Kodachi
"mistress"?
What is she planning on doing? Poisoning people? "The, uh,
kitchen, Himeko-sama? Umm..Why?" She asked suspiciously, but started to
I would suggest "Your Majesty" instead. Himeko doesn't sound like
a family name, and wouldn't she be called Queen Nodoka instead?
"Please call me Nodaka, or Aunite. Himeko is much too formal,"
Her sweet voice reminded Akane of Kasumi, putting her a bit more at
ease.
"The reason I wanted to see it is because I love cooking. Perhaps if
it's not to late, I could help with tonight's dinner.."
"Nodoka", "Auntie", "too late", and you are being inconsistent by using
"Auntie" in one place, and the japanese for "elder sister" in another.
Further, it strikes me as unlikely that a Nodoka who was a ruling
monarch would still have the mainline Nodoka's fondness for cooking.
Personally cooking would be inappropriate for her rank. Also, asking
to be taken to another woman's kitchen is rude under most circumstances.
Seeing where she was looking, Akane smiled. "Don't worry.
He's
harmless. Ryouga? This is Hi- uh Autie Nodaka. Nodaka, this is Ryouga,
my body guard."
"bodyguard" is one word. And that's another reason why Ryouga sucks as
a bodyguard. He'd do much better as the King's Champion.
"Hey, when did you change?...Why did you change?" He asked,
still not used to the fact that his father was a permanate panda, much
"permanent"