TENCHI MUCHO!
A Tenchi Muyo! Fanfiction
By Dave Menard
DISCLAIMER: Tenchi and the gang (in all their various
incarnations) are owned wholly by Pioneer/AIC. NOT by me. So I'm
leaving myself open to legal action here, but I hope their
lawyers (if they bother to read fanfiction, anyway) have a sense
of humour. I haven't made any money off this, nor do I hope to.
WHAT'S HAPPENED SO FAR: Due to a mixup with her Dimensional
Tuner, the Washu from the Tenchi TV series was sent into the OAV
universe, where she ended up rendezvousing with her dimensional
analogues from the other Tenchi universes.
The five Washus (sounds like a band, doesn't it?) quickly
made nuisances of themselves, hogging the bathroom, chasing
Tenchi around, cutting into Ryouko and Aeka's action and
monopolizing Baby Mayuka. The rest of the gang decided that
something HAD to be done. Hastily, and perhaps ill-advisedly,
they rebuilt the D-Tuner under the guidance of Mihoshi of all
people, who, unknown to the others, was apparently a PhD in
Quantum Theory.
Predictably, Something Went Horribly Astray, and Tenchi,
Ryouko, Aeka and the newly-dubbed Dr. Mihoshi vanished in a flash
of light.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER THREE: MY DINNER WITH AEKA-HIME
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Aeka, first princess of Jurai and galactic-level spoiled
brat, appeared in the schoolyard in a flash of light, causing the
children to scatter.
"Oooh, drat!" Aeka stomped her dainty feet. "I should have
KNOWN that Mihoshi would somehow manage to foul this up!" She
looked around, taking in her surroundings with a jaundiced eye.
"Goodness... Wherever did that foolish girl send me? It seems to
be some kind of educational facility-" A softball bounced off her
head, sending her sprawling to the ground.
"-or perhaps a juvenile detention centre..." She groaned,
picking herself up and brushing the schoolyard dirt off her
kimono. "Who threw that?!" She looked around, shooting patented
Aeka withering glares out like laser beams. The horrid little
brats seemed unimpressed.
"Hah! We ain't afraid of you, monster-lady!" a particularly
insolent child hollered. "You an' your evil Martian empire'll
NEVER defeat Pretty Sammy the Magical Girl!!!"
"Pretty... Sammy? What kind of foolishness is this? Listen,
young man, I-" she said with a haughty flourish,. "happen to be
Aeka, First Princess of Jurai, Duchess of Ryuten, and Heiress to
the most powerful Empire in Known Space! And I deMAND to be taken
to your leader!"
Aeka was treated to the spectacular sight of an entire
schoolyard full of preteens giving her the Japanese Redeye,
followed swiftly by a good pelting with dirt clods, rocks,
Pokemon trading cards (only their doubles) and marbles. Mouthing
expletives her mother would have been shocked to find she knew,
Aeka erected he forcefield and ran. Oh certainly, she could have
punished the children for their insolence, but she didn't have
the energy to personally spank every last one of the nasty little
anklebiters individually. Somehow, somewhere, there was a way out
of this madhouse, and away from naughty children with no respect
for persons, place or station.
As if sent by the gods, a familiar face appeared in her
path. So overjoyed was she that she failed to notice the look of
fierce determination in the young girl's eyes.
"Sasami!" Aeka practically wept with relief. Her clever
little sister would surely set things to right! "Oh, thank
goodness! How wonderful! Does this mean that Lord Tenchi has
somehow managed to come to save me?" She clutched her hands to
her chest in rapture. "Where is he? I MUST thank him personally!"
Sasami frowned, a sight so shocking to Aeka that she took a
step back. The younger girl stepped forward, pulling a
heart-topped baton from her backpack. "Lady Romio, you're so
cruel! How can you take the name of a young girl's first lost
love in vain? I don't know why you've come here without your
troops, but in the name of love and justice, I will punish
you!!!"
"Sasami? Whatever do you mean, 'troops'? And what are you
doing with that baton?"
***************************
Tenchi materialised in front of a familiar landmark, the
Masaki home.
"Phew! Thank GOODness. She only teleported me outside!" He
wiped nervous sweat from his brow and glanced around, looking for
any sign of Washuus in the gathering twilight. Since the area
seemed to be free of Washu-like presences, he let out a breath he
didn't know he'd been holding and walked back into the house.
"Well, _that_ didn't work-" He called out as he strolled
into the house. "Can we try it again?"
"TENCHI!!!!!!"
Tenchi was suddenly dive-tackled by an extremely happy
space-pirate. The other members of the household appeared as if
by magic. Aeka, Sasami, Ryo-Oh-ki, Mihoshi and some girl he'd
never seen before gangpiled him, pulling him into a massive group
hug.
Confused by the response, he managed to extricate himself
(but just barely) and backed up a bit. "Whoaa! Hey, how long was
I gone? Long enough for us to have another houseguest, I
guess..." He smiled pleasantly at the dark green haired girl. The
five girls and one cabbit blinked, looked at each other, and back
at Tenchi.
"How long? Tenchi..." Ryouko said, seeming perplexed. "We
haven't seen you since the summer holiday... Ever since you
closed up the star-gate we haven't been able to visit you, you
know that..."
"Huh? What are you talking about, Ryouko? Is this another
one of your pranks?" He turned to the new girl and bowed from the
waist. "Hello, my name's Tenchi. Welcome to our home..."
"Welcome?" The girl said, glancing at the other girls before
returning her attention to Tenchi. "Tenchi, I've lived here for
two years now. Don't you remember? It's me! Kiyone!"
"You're Kiyone? Wow, it's nice to meet you at last!
Mihoshi's told us all so much about you, I feel like I already
know you..."
"Tenchi, you DO know me! You gave me this!" She held up a
small diamond-shaped prism on a chain tied around her neck.
Tenchi merely cocked his head in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't
seem to recall... It sure is pretty, though... did you say you've
lived here for two years? Oh no! Mihoshi must've sent me forward
in time..."
"Tenchi, are you _sure_ you're all right?" Ryouko said in a
concerned tone. "Whaddya mean you don't remember Kiyone? You
remember me, right?" she said hopefully. "Right?"
"Of course I do, Ryouko..." Tenchi answered in a reassuring
tone. "How could I forget? I woke you up from grandfather's
shrine, and there hasn't been a dull moment since..." he laughed
nervously. "What?"
"He's gone mad!" Aeka cried, anguished. "All that time in
Tokyo away from me, his one true love, has driven him past the
brink!"
"Somebody get Washyuu out here, quick!" Kiyone yelled.
"Something's wrong with Tenchi!" Sasami nodded and rushed to
Washyuu's closet.
"No! No Washuu! PLEASE!" Tenchi hollered.
"Relax, Tenchi," Ryouko said, patting his hand. "Whatever's
the matter, we'll face it together, right? Just like you taught
us..." She smiled reassuringly and held up a crystal that matched
the one Kiyone wore.
"What's going on? this is CRAZY!" Tenchi bellowed.
"Bad news everybody!" Sasami cried, re-emerging into the
living room. "Washyuu's gone!"
************************************
Ryouko popped into existence in midair above the Masaki
Shrine.
"Hmmph. Typical. Mihoshi screws up _again_..."
She noted with a sigh that the gang of Washuus had left, and
were no longer clustered around Katsuhito's office. Must be back
downstairs buggin' Tenchi again, she thought. Well, so much for
plan A. Now it's time for plan B, which involves me working off
some frustration by fragging a few Mom-clones. Lazily, she flew
down the mountain towards the lake and the house. Idly, she
noticed the telepathic signals from Ryo-Oh-Ki, the ones that kept
her in constant touch with her pet/spaceship/partner-in-crime
were oddly garbled,as though they two were somehow out of sync.
Okay, she thought. Better skip fragging Mom until she can take a
look at the little furball.
With a sigh, she floated down through the roof of the house
into the living room. the rest of the gang seemed to have
reassembled there... Oh, great! she thought. The gang plus one!
Of all the time to get a visit from that goody-goody sister of
mine...
Ryouko alit next to her doppleganger, not noticing the
shocked glances from the rest of her friends. "Heya, Minagi. Boy,
did YOU pick the wrong time to visit. Washuu's running amuck
and... Huh? What's with you guys?"
"R-ryoko?" Tenchi asked the doppleganger. "Since when did
your shadow dress differently than you do?"
"Hey, I'M Ryouko. Try to keep up, Tenchi. I swear, I love
you but sometimes you can be SO dense..."
That's not my shadow, Tenchi..." The other Ryouko said,
growling. "S'gotta be some kinda TRICK!" She opened up on her
double with a series of crimson laser blasts. "I just got my
Tenchi BACK from that Haruna witch, and I ain't givin' him up to
NO ONE!!!"
***********************************
Mihoshi re-entered reality on a busy street in the middle of
the ginza, unnoticed by the busy passers-by.
"Oh, dear, oh my! I really should have pushed the red
button... Now how am I gonna get home?" She glanced up at the
sign of the store above her. "CD Vision" it read.
Now, Mihoshi has a truly remarkable mind. As Washuu once
discovered to her amazement, the apparently-ditzy blonde has an
IQ over 300 by a significant margin. As a matter of fact, Mihoshi
has doctorates in both Quantum Theory and Astrophysics (both
necessities for piloting even the puniest of Galaxy Police
shuttles) as well as a truly impressive grasp of metaphysics,
botany and police procedure. The problem is, that due to some
unfortunate chemical experimentation back in her college days
(Lambda Pi Sorority Rush Party, Stardate 42.35.73) she has no
ability to collate the vast stores of information contained in
her remarkable brain. As such, Mihoshi, to the untrained eye,
appears to be dumb as a post.
She isn't, really.
Honest.
Why would I lie?
At any rate, Mihoshi's first response, upon finding herself
kilometers from home due to a malfunction with a Dimensional
Tuner, was to walk in to the aforementioned CD Vision store in
search of the latest "Space Police Space Patrolmen" OAV. After
all, you never know when you'll find a bargain, do you?
Humming happily to herself, she walked in the doors to the
shop, only to be greeted by a familiar voice, long-unheard.
"Welcome to CD Vision, I'm Kiyone. How can I help
youLLLLUUUULP!" She was suddenly pinned to the floor by a happy
blonde whirlwind.
"KIYONE!!!!!!!!!"
****************************************
That's all for now! All forms of C+C appreciated, public,
private or MST3K!
Here Endeth The Lesson.
Spa Fon!
-------------------------------------------
Dave Menard
Keeper of Pink's Hammer of Vengeance
Knight of the Combat Fiancees
Member of the Space Pirates Guild
http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
"I would not, could not kill the King... I would not poison Anything!"
--Green Eggs and Hamlet