At last! Another chapter in the can! Sorry this one took so long, but I was waiting for my muse to wake up and smack me over the head. At this rate, I might manage another chapter of A Study in Scarlet or Akane the Vampire Slayer soon! (Knock on wood...)
TENCHI MUCHO!
A Tenchi Muyo Fanfiction
By Dave Menard
DISCLAIMER: Tenchi and co. are copyright AIC and Pioneer, and
are used here without permission.
WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE: Go to my page (url below) to see chapter
one, but here's the short version. Washu, from the Tenchi TV
Universe, has rebuilt her Dimensional Tuner (Last seen in TV
episode "Time and Space Adventures") and meant to use it to
create her perfect world. Unfortunately, due to interference
from Mihoshi, she was sent into the Tenchi OAV universe
instead, where she encountered her analogue in that dimension.
In no time at all, other Washus started appearing from the
other Tenchi canon universes, and soon a Washu-party was being
held in OAV Washuu's floating onsen.
WHICH WASHU'S WHICH?
Washu: Tenchi TV series
Washuu: Tenchi OAV and manga
Washyuu: Shin Tenchi Muyo!
Prof. Washu: Pretty Sammy TV series
Washu Fitzgerald Kobayashi: Magical Project S
Events in this fanfiction take place in the OAV universe,
roughly a year after "Daughter of Darkness"
-----------------------------------------
Chapter Two: No Need For Quantum Tenchis!
-----------------------------------------
Sasami hummed merrily to herself as she prepared dinner
in the Masaki kitchen. Ryo-Oh-Ki, in little-girl form, helped,
chopping carrots alongside her bestest friend. All in all, it
was an extremely kawaii scene of domestic happiness.
"I wonder," Sasami pondered, "If Washuu's guests will be
staying for supper?"
"Miya?" Ryo-Oh-Ki chirped, in a adorably kawaii manner.
Suddenly, the scene of domestic bliss was shattered by
the fleeing naked form of Tenchi as he streaked through the
kitchen like all the hounds of hell were at his heels.
"Oh dear..." Sasami worried cutely. "I wonder what's
wrong with Tenchi?"
Ryo-Oh-Ki shrugged.
The answer was quick in coming as a pack of Washuus in
bathtowels charged into the kitchen.
"Which way did he go, Sasami-chan?" A Washuu asked,
jogging in place.
Sasami and Ryo-Oh-Ki pointed silently in the direction
Tenchi had headed, big beads of sweat on their brows.
"Thanks!" The Washuus chorused, before hurtling out the
door after the naked boy.
"Come back, Tenchi!" called a Washuu bringing up the
rear. "You forgot your towel!"
"We can play 'Salaryman and Soaplady!'" called another.
"Ten-chiii! I'll show you my magic fingers!!!" a third
cried.
Tenchi's terrified yells echoed across the lake.
**************************
Ryouko and Aeka sat in the bath, thinking dark thoughts
of revenge. For a change, these thoughts weren't directed at
each other...
"Did you SEE the way Miss Washuu er... The Miss Washuu_s_
carried on?" Aeka sniffed primly. "It was disgraceful!"
"Uh huh..." Ryouko growled. "Like a horde of hottentots."
"Honestly, a woman of HER age behaving in such a manner!"
"Something's gotta be done, little princess. Tenchi'll
NEVER come around if she's poking and prodding and fondling him
and stuff..."
"I quite agree! Something MUST be done!"
The duo stewed quietly in silence.
"She's gotta have SOME kinda weakness..." Ryouko mumbled.
"She's YOUR mother, YOU tell ME..." Aeka snapped.
"Don't remind me!" The space pirate snarled. Suddenly,
identical lightbulbs went off over each girl's head.
"BABIES!" They cried in unison.
"You get Mayuka, I'll go save Tenchi!" Ryouko said,
rising out of the bath.
"No, _you_ get Mayuka, _I_ shall rescue Lord Tenchi!"
"No, I'll do it-"
"No, _I'll_ do it!"
"No, me!"
"Me!!"
"ME!"
"ME!!"
Lazer swords and force fields were deployed to settle the
issue, with the usual results.
************************************
Mayuka, (the baby in question,) was presently lying
happily in the arms of her great-grandfather, the man known
alternately as Katsuhito Masaki or Yosho Jurai, depending on
which planet you happened to be from.
"Coochie-coochie-coo..." The shrine priest/prince-in-
exile whispered to his purple-haired charge, jingling the keys
to the shrine over the baby's head. Mayuka gurgled happily,
reaching for the ring. With a clutching hand, she managed to
capture one of the keys and tugged it downwards towards her
mouth. "Now, now, little one, I don't imagine those would be
very tasty..."
Mayuka evidently disagreed, as she brought both hands to
bear tugging the key into her mouth. "Ah well," Katsuhito
smiled. "I suppose when you're teething, you just need to chew
on something..." He allowed the infant to guide the key into
her mouth.
Suddenly, blue fur sprouted across the baby's skin in a
pattern of stripes as she bit down on the iron key.
Katsuhito held up the remaining half of the key,
examining the place where it had been sheared in two as if by
bolt-cutters.
"It is a good thing, I think," He murmured, looking down
at his now fur-less charge, who smiled pleasantly back, "That
no one ever had to breastfeed you, great granddaughter."
He was started out of his tranquillity by the sound of
bare feet slapping against the stone steps of the shrine.
"GRAMPA! You've got to HIDE me!" Tenchi squawked, sliding
the door closed behind him.
"Tenchi!" Katsuhito scolded. "You _must_ keep your voice
down, you'll frighten your daughter!" He blinked once as he
noticed Tenchi's clothes, or lack of them. "And for goodness'
sake cover yourself!" He threw an old set of robes he'd been
using as swaddling for the baby at Tenchi, who quickly dressed
himself. "Now, boy. What seems to be the problem?"
"There's a whole pack of little Washuus after me!" He
groaned, slumping to the ground in defeat. "As if I didn't
have enough problems..."
"A pack of Washuus, you say? Hmm... That must be who I
hear coming up the stairs..."
"Huh? WHAT?" Tenchi yelped. Katsuhito nodded towards the
door. Tenchi turned, sliding the door open a crack. Trembling,
he peered outside.
"HIYA, TENCHIIII...." Five identical voices said at once
as five identical spiky-haired girls smiled kawaii-ly.
"Eeep!" Tenchi eeeped, sliding the door shut once more.
"What am I going to do?"
"Leave that to me, Tenchi," Ryouko said, materialising
beside him. "I need to borrow Mayuka for a sec."
"Ryouko, no! She's not a toy!"
"I know _that_, Tenchi, geez! Just trust me, willya?"
"Tenchi, listen to the young lady." Katsuhito nodded
sagely. "I believe I know what she plans to do."
"Aww, okay, Grampa, but I'm still-"
"Thanks, Tenchi!" Ryouko grinned, picking little Mayuka
up by the back of her jumper. "I saw this on Macross once,
it's _gotta_ work!" With one foot, she slid open the door to
the shrine house and stepped out, holding Mayuka aloft like a
sacred idol. "Behold!" She cried. "The power of love!"
All five Washuu immediately went all big eyed. Even the
two who weren't old enough to HAVE children.
"OOOOOHHHHH! A BABY!!!!!!" The Washuus rushed forward,
snatching the infant from Ryouko's grasp. "Isn't he
cuuuuuute?" Prof. Washu cooed. Washuu nodded. "Absolutely
adorable, isn't she? I'm one of her godmothers, you know..."
"Oh, babies, babies, babies..." sighed Washyuu and Washu in
stereo, their voices slightly sad. "Can I hold her?
Pleeeeeze?" W.F.K. pleaded. Mayuka, overjoyed at all the
attention, gurgled happily and blew a dribble-bubble.
In the midst of all the baby-fever, Tenchi was able to
escape back down the hill, Ryouko quick at his heels. "See?"
She grinned at Tenchi. "I toldja it'd work!"
************************************
Ryouko and Tenchi met up with the rest of the household
back at the house. A council of war was quickly held.
"This is intolerable!" Piped Aeka. "Something simply must
be done! Tenchi, ask them to leave!"
Tenchi opened his mouth to respond that he already had,
thank you, when Nobiyuki chimed in. "Now, son. You know better
than that! We can't just throw them out, they're our guests!"
"So what are we supposed to do, then? Let 'em have
Tenchi? I don't THINK so!" Ryouko growled. "Mayuka ain't gonna
hold 'em forever, ya know..."
"Oh dear oh dear oh dear..." Mihoshi fretted. "What are
we going to dooooooo?"
"I'm afraid we can't afford to feed all those Washuus
unless Uncle gets a pay raise..." Sasami said, worriedly.
"Miyaa!" Ryo-Oh-Ki contributed, but since no one there
spoke cabbit except for Ryouko, (and she wasn't listening) no
one understood her.
"I suppose we could always use Washuu's machine to send
them all back, couldn't we?" Tenchi opined.
"Hey, yeah! That'd work!" Ryouko seconded
enthusiastically. "Great idea, Tenchi!" She rewarded him with
a glomp, placing her rump directly in Aeka's face.
"Now look here, monster-woman!" Aeka cried, shoving
Ryouko's hindquarters aside. "You're no better than Miss Washu
when you behave like that!" She spared Ryouko a glare before
saying sweetly to Tenchi: "It _was_ an excellent idea, Lord
Tenchi, but I'm afraid I must point out a flaw in your
otherwise perfect reasoning. Does anyone here know HOW to
operate any of Washuu's machines?"
"Umm..."
"Errr..."
"Ah..."
Mi-yaa..."
"I do!" Mihoshi said.
Once everyone had picked themselves up off the floor,
Mihoshi elaborated. "Well, it's just that her inventions are
so fascinating and I love to watch her work, even if she
doesn't like it when I'm in her lab... Not to mention the fact
that dimensional theory is really not much different than
superstring theory, and I did my final paper at the Galaxy
Police Academy on superstring theory... Anyway, I think I
could figure it out... Why is everybody looking at me funny?"
************************
The gang (minus Nobiyuki and Ryo-Oh-Ki, as well as the
Washuus, who were still playing with Mayuka up at the shrine)
was gathered in Washuu's lab, frantically following Mihoshi's
directions as they powered up the Dimensional Tuner.
"I can't believe we're following directions from
_Mihoshi_..." Ryouko grumbled.
"_I_ can't believe she has a PhD in Quantum Physics from
Galaxy Tech!!" Aeka seconded.
"_I_ can't believe she was class valedictorian..." Tenchi
thirded.
"I'm not worried!" Sasami said cheerily. "I just _know_
Mihoshi can do it!!"
In minutes, they were ready. The others had to admit that
the device _looked_ like it was properly assembled, and what
readouts they could understand looked nominal. Nothing was
flashing red, anyway.
"Mmm, okaayyy..." Mihoshi said as she looked over the
device, absently twisting a lock of hair around a finger.
"I've set the recall function at four, so hopefully that
should get rid of the extra Washuus..."
"You're absolutely _sure_ that this is going to work,
right, Mihoshi?" Tenchi pleaded.
"Of course! All I have to do is hit this little green
button..." She pushed down on the switch, and the machine made
an alarming siren-y protesting sort of sound. "Or maybe that
red one..."
Mihoshi, Ryouko, Tenchi and Aeka disappeared in a flash
of light and a puff of ozone.
Sasami shook her head sadly. Poor Mihoshi will be so
upset...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
--------------------------
Next: My Dinner With Aeka!
--------------------------
Finally, the second chapter! Once again, all forms of
C+C, public, private or MST3K are welcomed! Thanks to all the
wonderful folks who C+C'd the first chapter, I wouldn't have
done this without you...
Here Endeth The Lesson.
Spa Fon!
-------------------------------------------
Dave Menard
Keeper of Pink's Hammer of Vengeance
Knight of the Combat Fiancees
Member of the Space Pirates Guild
http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
"I would not, could not kill the King... I would not poison Anything!"
--Green Eggs and Hamlet