Bet you thought no one had anything else to say about this:
Lilac patted Rin and Ran on their shoulders. <"It's all right,
girls. Chasing men is just like fishing.
Lilac: You sit in a boat, drink lots of beer, and you use a pole. The only
difference is that you cast a line around men that come along instead of
putting it in the water.
<"Be that as it may, Cologne, it's still the truth. I seem to
recall a certain Amazon who went chasing after a young pervert
once...">
Cologne: You mean Ataru?
Lilac: Not that one.
Cologne: Ryu Saeba?
Lilac: Not that one either. Exactly how many perverts did you date?
Cologne: All the ones that wouldn't have a thing to do with you, which is
to say I had very few free nights.
<"Idle curiosity? From you, Cologne? I'm hurt. Do I _look_ like
I've grown that senile in the past two years?">
Cologne: Of course. Why do you think I asked?
<"That's right. Chinese Amazon Martial Arts Construction and
Repair. Heheheheheheh!
Should make a fortune.
See you around, Cologne!">
The three-foot tall Elder skipped away, twirling her staff like
a band leader's baton, enjoying her latest opportunity to irritate
her rival.
Nice imagery with the baton bit. I like it.
Gos wanted to facefault, but this gaijin body didn't seem to know
quite how to do it.
Heh.
"Can I get some hot water first, Father? I think Mother would feel
better if she saw me in my uncursed form when she wakes up."
And get rid of any nasty incestuous feelings that might have developed.
"That.. would
That... (three dots)
Oichi came back to the conscious world to see her husband's
worried face peering down at her. "Oh, Takuji..
Same here
She lifted her head to see her son (in his uncursed form) looking
worriedly down at her. Gos hung his head. "I..
Odd. I assume you're doing this intentionally. Style thing?
Then a _male_ scream of horror erupted from the knot of women
attempting to do their solemn duty to punish all perverts. The crowd
retreated to reveal a short elderly woman grinning evilly at a
desperately-trying-to-escape Norton South.
Heh. Nice name.
"Still training that Remo kid, last I heard."
Heh. don't see much Destroyer stuff.
"I'll bet he's still hooked on those American soap operas. How
about you? Still addicted to Japanese cartoons?"
Heh.
Dowel nodded sharply, then turned to Sash. <"Do you think you can
deal with your anime problem long enough to watch over Tao, Sash?">
The younger Amazon nodded. <"I think I have it under control,
Dowel. It's just.."> Her eyes dwelled longingly on a nearby
advertisement for a new anime. <"I think I can. For now.">
Doomed for sure.
To his surprise (and maybe a little dawning horror), this time his
mother's response wasn't a shriek, or a scream, or even fainting. It
was something MUCH worse.
"Oh, Takuji, isn't he CUTE?!" she squealed.
Yep. Much worse. Now she has a hope for grandchildren. ^_^
"Well, he IS," she said, hurt by their doubts. A long, happy sigh
escaped her lips. "My son is going to be a hero. A _cute_ hero. Even
cuter than that Saotome boy! Oh, I'm so blessed by the kami!"
Kinda reminds me of Ataru's mom in reverse.
Alan Smithee was in Japan. Not that he wanted to be, but as one of
the most prolific writers in Hollywood,
Heh.
Not that he was a good writer, mind you. Just prolific. And
Hollywood, like any other industry, needed large amounts of manure
to fertilize things.
Too true.
At the moment, he was in "The Silent Room"; a lavish bar where
rich tourists and Japanese businessmen were spoon-fed sushi by lovely
looking geisha as they sucked up over-priced sake and imported scotch.
But he wasn't having half the fun he felt he should be having.
yeah. Sounds like hell. :P
She frowned when he laid a hand on her fighting staff and kept
muttering something that sounded like "law les"
Hmm. Not sure what he's trying to say there, though I have a feeling it
should be obvious.
Then it came to him. Tall, over six feet. Strong. A woman warrior.
The hair looked naturally black, and she seemed to know how to handle
weapons. YES! He'd found the perfect stunt double for Lucy Lawless!
Ah. I see
And the clothing was worse. It had taken her less than an hour to
find a set of what she considered 'proper heroic clothing', and arrange
to have it delivered. Gos was now wearing a pair of tan leather
trousers held up by a belt of crude rope, and a sandy-colored
sleeveless tunic. The matching leather and metal bracers on his
forearms only heightened the effect.
Heh.
Oichi whirled and cut him off. "Our son is a hero now, and he's
going to REMAIN a hero! I don't care WHAT I have to do, I will SEE to
that!"
He can always use the gleam of his teeth to dazzle opponents instead of
using a gun to threaten them. It would be more effective too.
Takuji backed away slowly, and was struck by the sudden thought
that the way he felt at the moment was probably a lot like what his
occasional drinking buddy Genma
buddy, Genma, felt
* * *
"Saotome-kun," Soun sniffed, "you're a disgusting little toad,
I hope you know."
That seems harsh from Soun.
Gos glared in impotent rage at his cowardly father, then shuddered
as his mother opened another package. From this one emerged a leather
jacket, a pair of jeans, a old-style fedora and a bullwhip.
Was waiting for that one.
A great many private eyes eventually ended up with kid sidekicks,
mentoring them along the rocky road of the detective business. Was it
possible...?
Nah.
I should hope not. >_<
"Can we GO NOW?!
I'd only capitalize 'NOW'. Just a style thing.
<"Ah, yes, this IS Sideshow Bob.
_<
<"Ah. Pardon me, Sideshow-san. I understand you run Villains
R Us, a business that finds jobs for unemployed master villains and
super villains?">
<"That is correct, madam. You're in the market for a good used
villain then?">
<"Yes, I am. My son has just become a new hero, and I wish to find
him an arch-enemy as soon as it is possible.">
Ought to hit Taskmaster too (the marvel super villain) for flunkies for the
arch-villain. Tasky runs a training school for potential cannon fodder.
Really.
* * *
Somewhere in Metropolis, New York, a thin bald man with green eyes
was bouncing happily on his mattress.
Can't wait to see who this is.
A fist pounded fiercely on the wall of his cheap apartment.
"Dammit, Irwin, it's two friggin' am in the morning! SHUT THE F*** UP
AND GO BACK TO SLEEP!"
Doesn't ring any bells.
"Heh. That Mr. Kent. Whatta wild man."
Now I'm really curious.
Very nice work. Despite the number of new characters, they are each well
enough defined that it's easy to keep track of them. Things seem to be
moving along at a good pace, especially with an arch-villain for Gos. Story
flow is smooth and I didn't detect any real grammar errors.
Look forward to seeing more.
D.B. Sommer