[I don't think this went through to the list; I got a rejection notice. My apoligies if it ends up being a repost.]
His bare feet trod on through the desolate snow covered ground,
the biting cold not even registering in his mind. The fact that he was
on the North Pole, wearing nothing but a sleeveless gi for warmth,
didn't seem to bother him.
Shin Akuma had but one thought on his mind. That accursed Devilot
would not escape his grasp. It had taken him the better part of a week,
and had involved pummeling various random people until someone actually
knew what he was talking about. The fact that all he said was "...
Devilot", and then waited five seconds before turning said random
people into a fine paste in the ground didn't help matters much. He'd
had amazingly better results by modifying his search pattern.
"... Devilot. ...Where?"
*wait ten seconds*
Begin Pulp.
It'd taken a few days of the new method before he got results.
Fortunately, Siberia is not known for its pure of heart, and he'd
managed to find some scum who had dealings with her. He was so pleased
to have an address, of sorts, that he hadn't hurt them. Much.
Thus he was walking towards the North Pole, the shearing winds
multiplying the ungodly cold an infinite amount, unwaveringly. His mind
had no room for being cold. He was too busy imagining all the ways he
would unleash Evil Intent upon Devilot. As a master of the evil arts
of Shotokan, he wasn't exactly known for taking pleasure in many things;
being evil for the sake of being evil was more his style. However, he
was rather enjoying the current images running through his mind. She
would rue the day she created that pathetic copy of him.
His travel was stopped short as he happened upon a conspicuous
looking sign marked, "Ice Cream Maker, Not a Sign Marking the Entrance
to the Secret Lair of the Evil Genius Devilot."
"..."
********
Jack slammed his hands on his desk in anger.
*SQUEAK*
"Oh! I'm sorry, Mr. Duck. Didn't see you there." He put his
best friend back on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "Now Nuku,
please say that again? I'm finding it hard to believe I heard that
right."
Nuku Nuku shifted uncomfortably on her feet in front of Jack's
desk. She'd never seen him turn red THAT fast before. "There was some
sort of silly accident with the ticket sales, and only three thousand
tickets sold for your thing tonight. They were busy selling tickets for
something called WrastleMainium in America."
Jack sighed under his breath. "So how many empty seats does that
leave us with tonight, the last show before UltraRage Delta?"
Nuku Nuku counted in her head for a minute. "27,000 I think
Jack-kun! That's a hard one!"
It took all his controversial power to keep from fainting right
then and there. After all, it wasn't controversial to just pass out
from hearing bad news. And he didn't quite feel like dying at the
moment. "Alright, we're gonna have to make this one count for the at
home crowd." He stood up and began pacing behind his desk. "But what
can we do? Without the crowd heating up the battles with unLinaly
amounts of noise..."
*squeak*
"Mr. Duck! You're a genius! Nuku! Get Dan Hibiki in my office
five minutes ago! That little pink poofball is a ratings shoo-in!" He
sat down behind his desk as Nuku hurried out of the room, trying to
figure out how to get Dan into the room before she left. Literally.
Controversial Jack allowed himself a small smile. With the Royal
Rumble to determine the final competitor in the Ranma Saotome Memorial
Tournament for the Gamma Belt, the show was sure to be a ratings coupe de
grace. He had nothing to worry about.
********
Hiroshi hesitated before knocking on the door. He wasn't entirely
sure how the person behind it would greet him. Things between them had
been rather rocky lately, and Hiroshi didn't know how to handle it until
that moment. He finally resolved himself to make a choice in the matter
though. He wanted to stay friends. He couldn't let the friendship
there slip by. What might develop if he hadn't decided this could not
be allowed to happen.
After strengthening his resolve, he knocked on the door. For a
moment afterward, there was silence. Hiroshi knocked again. "Dai?
You there?"
"H...Hiroshi?" Daisuke's voice sounded dry. His dressing room
door opened slowly, a wild-eyed Daisuke peering out warily. "I saw
Scream 3! Dubbed! If this is a voice modulator, it won't work!" He
calmed upon actually seeing Hiroshi, but only for a second. He grabbed
his partner by the tuxedo jacket and yanked him into the room, latching
the door behind him.
Hiroshi blinked. "I didn't think our dressing rooms came with
deadbolts. Or backup deadbolts. Or... four chains."
Daisuke finished locking all of the assorted mechanisms on his
door. "They don't."
Hiroshi nodded slowly. "They still at it?"
Daisuke nodded, looking Hiroshi in the eye. "Are they still at
it? Hah! I haven't had a break." His hair was a little messed, and he
kept looking around, like he expected someone to sneak in through the
wall and assault them. Which, given Ultra, probably wasn't that insane
an idea. He grabbed a box off the desk and gave it to Hiroshi. "This
arrived today."
Hiroshi opened it cautiously, then smiled. "Aww, they're just
chocolates. I don't get to have chocolate much any more. Clone
physiology, you know. You mind?" He put one in his mouth quickly,
anticipating chocolate bliss.
Instead he got a whack to the back of the head, shooting the
chocolate out of his mouth and onto the floor. "OW! What'd you do that
for?" Hiroshi rubbed the back of his head. Wordlessly, Daisuke stepped
on the chocolate. Red blood trickled out from underneath his shoe.
Hiroshi turned white. "Thanks, Dai. I owe you." He paused,
unable to skip the obvious question. "You didn't... find out the hard
way did you?"
Daisuke laughed mirthlessly, "At this point I have the police case
my room before I even enter. Much less open mysterious boxes. No, I
caught it before it was too late. But that's not it. They're doing
all sorts of nasty things to me Hiro. Look at these." Shuffling in his
pocket, he pulled out a pair of Poloroids.
Going from white to green in a new record, Hiroshi gagged. "I
didn't need to see those!"
"I don't even know how they got them. I was alone!" Sighing,
Daisuke put the pictures back in his pocket. "They sent me things I
don't think even Lilith knows how to use. He, she, whoever it is, is
nasty. They even sent me letters." He pointed to a letter sitting
on a chair next to Hiroshi. Picking it up, Hiroshi noticed that it
was short and written from cut out words of magazines.
Dearest Daisuke,
Our love beats like a strong heart muscle squirting out blood
after the fatal bullet has passed to and from its rib cage. Our lust
is greater than the blood lust of an animal during hunting season. Our
passion explodes with a rhythm unmatched by any cut off --
Hiroshi skipped to the end.
Our paths will cross, my lover. Soon. Will I kill your heart,
or will you kill mine? We shall see soon. But I will see you first.
Hiroshi flopped down in the chair. "Dai.. I..."
Daisuke shook his head. "It's not your fault."
"But I haven't helped lately." Standing, Hiroshi looked Daisuke
in the eye. "We'll get through this together. I'll help you." He
extended a hand to Daisuke.
Daisuke looked at it wordlessly for a moment. Then he grabbed it
and hoisted himself out of his chair. "Thanks buddy."
Hiroshi flashed him a trademark smile, "Now let's go get out there
and do what we get paid to do."
"Don't you mean 'barely paid'?" Daisuke muttered under his breath
as they walked out.
LIVE!
FROM THE ULTRADOME!
THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
AND IMPROFANFIC!
IT'S TIME FOR...
{ M A G I C A L T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }
{ C R O S S O V E R F I G H T I N G }
{ F E D E R A T I O N }
{ .-----------. }
{ | U-L-T-R-A | }
{ `-----------' }
{ http://www.improfanfic.com }
Episode #40: Let's Get Ready to RUMBLE
This Episode Written By: ColdFury
And Lambda Assist From: Fatman
Special MatchMaker: Delfina
MTCFF Ultra created by Twoflower
The UltraDome was not quiet.
It has been said by many experts that if we could find a way to
harness the power exhorted by the thirty thousand Ultra otaku who marked
out week after week on prime time television, we could do away with
silly little things such as fossil fuels and nuclear power.
Tonight, however, would not be a good night to try to conduct any
experiments. With a mere three thousand people scattered about the
30,000 seat UltraDome, noise was a little less than awe inspiring.
Panning the crowds, catching what few signs they could find, the
camera crew quickly went to the announcing desk. As for the tuxedoed
twosome, Hiroshi was as excited as always, while Daisuke was looking
around curiously. "Where did all the people go?"
He also idly wondered why the dumb bastards in the nose bleed
seats didn't come down a few notches.
Elbowing Daisuke into silence, Hiroshi began his weekly address.
"I don't know, but for you folks at home, we've got a GREAT show for
you tonight! Tonight marks a land mark event! It's our last show
before UltraRage Delta!" The crowd, as it was, roared as much as
it could muster.
Hiroshi did not so much as sweatdrop at the meager support of
the crowd. "This is a landmark event folks! Lina only knows what could
happen before we get to the main event tonight!"
Daisuke shuffled the cards in front of him. "You do realize that
before the last UltraRage, the UltraDome was trashed?"
Pulling a crash helmet out from under the announcer's desk and
strapping it on tight, Hiroshi nodded. "Hai."
Daisuke sweatdropped and ignored his colleague. "However, it
does appear that we have an above average card for you all tonight."
"Above average is putting it lightly, Dai! I'd give it an A for
excellent!" Hiroshi beamed to the camera. "First off we have an Omega
match featuring the most powerful pokemon in the world and
self-proclaimed most powerful pokemon of earth, Mewtwo! He's facing off
against the male Cybergrrl, the Blue Bomber, the only mechanical member
of Cybergrrlz not reduced to scrap metal... MegaMan!"
Daisuke nodded. "And then we have a special treat. Yesterday,
B-ko and Sephiroth requested the night off from any Ultra business, and
our very own Controversial Jack thought there might be some sort of
grudge match that couldn't wait brewing. Well, we sent along our very
own new alternate Omega Referee, Krillin, along with cameras to find out
for ourselves. I understand the techies made a highlight reel of
this..." he peered at the sheet in front of him, "...date? Why are we
broadcasting a date? It's just going to be cheap violence, knowing
those two."
Hiroshi shrugged. "Maybe you just answered your own question.
Word has come down from the Controversial One that two teams will step
into the ring tonight to get a shot at the Lambda belts, held for weeks
by the Disciples of the Void."
"We just don't know who," Daisuke pointed out. "And don't forget
the main event." He promptly felt the rush of air as Hiroshi inhaled
sharply to collect enough air for the next few miles of speech.
"That's right folks. Tonight, live on television for the whole
world to see... the entire Gamma division save Morrigan, Shingo, and
Mr. Satan will be entering the ring in a Royal Rumble to determine who
will get the last slot in the Ranma Saotome Memorial Gamma Tournament.
The tournament in Ranma's honor will be held at UltraRage Delta
(order now!), and the winner will walk away with the Gamma
Championship belt!!!"
Daisuke added, "All belts will be on the line, although it's not
exactly clear who's going for all of them yet. Your girlfriend's going
for the hardcore belt, isn't she?"
Hiroshi sweatdropped, putting his hand over the mic, "Don't call
her that on the air!" Taking his hand away from the microphone, he
continued, "If you mean Lilith, former Hardcore champion, yes she is!"
Suddenly, the lights went out. There was a murmur from the crowd,
but no music played, and no pyrotechnics announced the arrival of a
fighter. For a good minute, there was complete silence.
Hiroshi looked at Daisuke nervously, who had turned even whiter
than usual. "Folks, we seem to be having a little problem with the
power. We should be up and run--"
The ControversialTron blared to life, a green voice pattern imager
playing on the screen. A very deep sounding voice, obviously disguised
by some voice box, came over the speakers.
"Hello Daisuke."
Again the crowd murmured. Daisuke's hands froze to the desk.
Gazing around as if to check to see if he was being watched, which he
was by all 3,000 odd fans in attendance, he managed to reply, "Uh.
Hello?"
"It's me. I just wanted to tell the world about my love for you.
I love you, Daisuke, and the Dome will run with the blood of all who
stand in my way to get to you. Did you like my gifts?"
Tugging at his collar, Daisuke shifted in his chair. "They
were... unique."
"I'm glad. But you haven't seen the best ones yet. Soon, you'll
see me in person. But I'll see you first!"
With that, the lights came back on, and Daisuke stared off into
space, speechless. Hiroshi cleared his throat and signaled the
cameraman. "Wehaveaverygoodshowtonight,staytunedwhilewecuttocommercial!!"
********
Outside of Jack's office, a short bald man with an orange gi on
stood by the door. He seemed to be taking a big breath before knocking
on the door. Behind the door he could hear a voice yelling about
ticket sales, power outages, and lame ratings-sucking interruptions. He
summoned up his inner strength, and knocked at the door.
"COME IN! And if you don't get me a bigger buyrate for Delta,
I'll have your head on a stick!" *SLAM* Controversial Jack looked up
from the remains of his phone and gave his best business smile at the
newcomer. "Hello, how can I help you?"
Krillin cleared his throat nervously. "I... uh... I'm here to
take over as Omega referee for the day after the next fight. Goku
has a family event to attend and is only refereeing the first fight
today."
Jack's smile vanished. "Goku is... taking the rest of the day
off? Without approval? Without telling me? Does ANYONE around here
know how to hold down a Lina damned job!?"
Jack stood and started pacing. "First the ticket guys, then the
pay per view advertisements aren't all ready and the event is a WEEK
away. Then the power goes out, then Diorama gets STALKED on OUR
airtime, which is SADLY the most he's contributed to the show as far
back as my memory extends! And now Goku, the ONLY referee who the fans
cheer, walks out after one fight on the LAST show before Delta!" He
whirled on Krillin, "And you're our new omega ref!? What qualifies you
to be an omega ref!? My SISTER could beat you up!"
Krillin backpedaled as Jack advanced on him, "Goku trained under
the same master as me. We g-grew up together!"
This seemed to slow Jack down, "So you're his equal? Maybe we
could have you two hold a special best friends spar match for Delta..."
Jack's mad booking skeelz went into overdrive then and there.
Sweatdropping, Krillin scratched the back of his head. "Well,
I'm not as powerful as him. He's a Super Sayajin. I'm just human."
Jack blinked. "You're human? Where's your nose?"
"...I don't like to talk about that."
"... Fair enough. Alright little man. You have your shot as
backup Omega ref. Be impressive. Or entertaining. Either or. Just
don't drive my ratings down." Jack stared Krillin down. "Report to
the Washuu Telepads for the Omega fights. We have two more lined
up for tonight."
"Two? But the card I got from Goku said..."
"Two. Last minute addition."
Krillin scampered off quickly to get out of the staring eyes of
Jack. Falling back into his chair, Jack sighed. "I don't get paid
enough for this." A thought occurred to him, and he pulled out his
American Express bill. "Correction, they don't get paid enough for
this." He was so depressed, he didn't even notice Mousse wander into
a showering Yohko in the women's locker room from his one way mirrored
view.
********
"It's time for our first Omega match of the evening ladies and
gentlemen!" Hiroshi opened up with this trademark excitement.
"This is a long running feud in our fed. Back when he first
joined Ultra prior to UltraRage Gamma, Mewtwo was disgusted to learn
that Washuu turned one of her opponents into a pikachu using genetic
engineering. He promptly stomped on the unprepared scientist in a quick
match," Daisuke explained. "After that, it was quiet for a while, then
Mewtwo challenged, and destroyed Ifurita. He literally tore her to
pieces in the process. Then came Gally last week, who suffered a
similar fate as Ifurita. It became apparent that he's tearing through
the entire Cybergrrlz stable, preparing for his rematch next week at
UltraRage Delta with Washuu."
"And what a rematch that will be! But right now, live for the
viewing audience at home, Mewtwo will take on the last CyberGrrl he
hasn't defeated yet. The pressure has to be all on MegaMan now!
Can he pull out a victory to save his faltering stable?" Hiroshi
publicly pondered.
"It looks as if we're about to find out." Daisuke pointed to
the monitors.
********
Every day, every person on the earth makes thousands of decisions.
These decisions can be simple, pertaining to how many lumps one wants
in their coffee. Some choices however, deal with things that can vastly
effect their life and the lives of others. The results of these is that
some choices, have such significant impact, that an alternate dimension
is created. It follows the same path as the original, up to the point of
the big decision. At that point it diverges. This has happened
countless time over the millennia, and one such alternate dimension is
where the next Omega fight is about to take place. Tokyo, but an
abandoned Tokyo without any residents or life of any kind. The perfect
arena for a knock down, drag out fight between two bitter enemies.
There was a small shimmer of light, and Goku arrived under his
own power. Following him were the OmegaCams. Looking around, Goku
nodded at them, and two portals opened up. Out of one stepped the blue
bomber, followed by his pet and friend, the robotic dog Rush. He spoke
into his wrist, which had a commlink in it. "Yessir Dr. Light. Thanks
for the backup. I appreciate it."
"Just do me and Washuu proud, son. And be careful. I don't want
anything bad to happen to you," Dr. Light looked somewhat concerned at
his robotic son.
"Don't worry." With a flash, Mewtwo emerged from the portal.
MegaMan stared at him for a moment, before continuing his train of
thought. "Gotta run. He's here." Turning off the commlink, he turned
to Goku. "Is it alright if I use my pets as weapons?"
Goku considered for a moment. "Well, they are robotic, and
they are a legitimate part of your arsenal. And I think you'll need
it. Sure, why not? Any objections Mewtwo?"
The white pokemon stood silently, and shook his head. MegaMan
tapped the side of his helmet, activating a specially Washuu made
thought converter. Now his robotic mind could send and receive
telepathic communications. The same devices had been implanted into
the OmegaCams. >> Testing. <<
"Huh?" Hiroshi blinked.
"We had telepathic converters installed for the cameras, and I
guess Washuu used the same thing for MegaMan." Daisuke offered.
Mewtwo seemed surprised for a moment, then shook his head.
You pathetic creatures can't help but meddle in things you have
no right to be in. I shall crush you. <<
MegaMan grinned, and charged up his MegaBuster to the point
where he was glowing a bright orange. >> You're welcome to try. <<
Goku nodded. >> Alright, let's keep it clean. << Both the
competitors looked at him, surprised. >> Hey, even fighters learn
a few tricks! Ready? <<
] [ OMEGA MATCH #1 -- STABLE SQUASHER PART 3
] [ MEWTWO vs. MEGAMAN
] [ FIGHT!
Mewtwo opened first. Glowing with a bright blue aura, he
unleashed a large telekinetic blast of energy. MegaMan dashed to the
right and let go of a huge blast out of his MegaBuster. Throwing up
his shield the genetically engineered pokemon was pushed back a few
feet, but was unharmed.
"And MegaMan is off to a futile start."
"GO MEGAMAN!"
"You are supposed to TRY and stay impartial, you know?" Daisuke
pointed out.
Shaking his head, MegaMan called to Rush. "POWERSUIT! GO!"
Rush jumped into the air, transforming as he went. When he connected
with MegaMan there was a brief flash, and MegaMan turned maroon in
color. Grinning, he charged up his Rush-MegaBuster. "Let's see you
deflect this."
Mewtwo calmly stood there, waiting for PowerMegaMan to get to
full power. It took only a few moments, but those few moments were
more than enough time where the psychic pokemon could have attacked.
MegaMan's large fist pulsated with energy, and he charged Mewtwo.
Winding back, he cried out, "POWER PUNCH!" And swung at Mewtwo with
all his might.
"WOW! Look at that!" Hiroshi marked out.
"It appears that Mewtwo is so confident in his abilities that
he's willing to give MegaMan the chance to offer up his best shots.
This doesn't bode well for Ultra's Blue Bomber."
The psychic shield buckled momentarily, but then startlingly came
back and a blast of energy emitted from it, knocking MegaMan back.
Rush separated from MegaMan at impact. Standing shakily,
MegaMan put his fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly. Out of the
sky a dark blue streak emerged and dived at Mewtwo. *KA-CRACK* was
the sound of the bird smacking directly into Mewtwo.
The pokemon staggered back. >> That surprised me boy. It won't
happen again. << Beat, MegaMan's robotic attack bird, turned around
and dove at Mewtwo again. It froze in mid-air however, a blue glow
of psychic energy surrounding it. Beat chirped at MegaMan helplessly,
before it suddenly rose into the air hundreds of feet.
Daisuke watched the monitors intently, "MegaMan's bird is in
trouble folks."
"Beat! NOOOOO!!!" Running forward, he cried out to his dog,
"Rush! Rush Jet! Get up there and --". Before he could finish his
order, Beat came back to earth as a streak of life, impacting into the
ground that MegaMan had just been standing. "BEAT!"
Hiroshi, along with a great deal of the UltraDome crowd, gasped.
Even Daisuke seemed a bit taken aback, "... I didn't see a
parachute that time."
All that remained in the small crater was a broken shell of a
robot. As MegaMan picked up the pieces, the light faded from its eyes.
A small tear emerged from MegaMan's eye. "RUSH! JetPack! NOW!"
Rush ran to MegaMan and transformed once more into a suit for
Mega to wear. MegaMan once more turned maroon in color and took off
into the sky.
>> You are delaying the inevitable boy, << Mewtwo rose into the
air as well, shooting off a few volleys of energy balls with MegaMan
dodged.
"Where can I go? I need somewhere to hide and regroup..." In
the distance, MegaMan made out a structure. "The UltraDome! It's
here! Rush! Rush Jet!" Rush transformed off of MegaMan who began
to free fall. Converting into a jetboard, Rush dove down and caught
his master. Flying faster than before, they took off for the UltraDome.
Mewtwo followed them at a calm pace. >> You shall not escape. <<
"The UltraDome!?" Hiroshi cowered and looked around frantically.
"Alternate dimension Hiro, remember? Not surprising, it IS Tokyo
they're fighting in."
MegaMan fired his MegaBuster at the roof of the UltraDome,
causing it to crash in. Flying into the arena, he looked for anything
he could use to his advantage. While he was circling the ring doing
so, a sudden blast took Rush out beneath him. "NOOO!"
Rush hit the concrete hard and with snapping sound. MegaMan
landed on the mat. After regaining his sense, he looked over the edge
and saw his friend, literally broken in two. Rush whimpered at him.
"Boy I.. I'm so sor--"
Before he could finish his apologies to his companion, Mewtwo
landed on Rush, his force field literally crushing the remains of the
poor dog into dozens of pieces. >> Surrender now. <<
"..." Both Daisuke and Hiroshi were speechless
MegaMan choked back a scream, tears streamed out of his cheeks.
YOU MONSTER! << He leapt forward at Mewtwo, his buster shooting out
dozens of bolts at the dreaded pokemon. Unaffected, Mewtwo shot a
bolt of energy out at MegaMan. The robot staggered, but pushed
forward.
"MegaMan seems intent on avenging his friends," Daisuke shook
his head, "but I'm don't think he'll be able to."
His hands reached for Mewtwo's throat. The pokemon kept
blasting him with energy. One by one, circuits and systems friend
and went offline. But the blue bomber was determined not to lose.
He took another step forward, then another. Just when it seemed as if
he would make it to the soulless pocket monster, he fell face first to
the ground.
"Well, that appears to wrap it up folks. MegaMan is down."
Hiroshi sniffed as he said the words.
Mewtwo promptly flew out of the UltraDome through the roof
opening. Goku appeared, and looked into the Dome. "I guess you win
then."
Not responding, Mewtwo flashed with a blue aura that knocked
Goku away a few meters. "Hey, what're you..."
Before Goku could intervene, Mewtwo fired a dozen bolts of energy
at the abandoned UltraDome. Goku looked from Mewtwo and the dome, and
flew towards the opening in the dome, intending to pull MegaMan to
safety. Before even he could enter the dome, it collapsed in on itself,
and on MegaMan.
>> Washuu. Your demise will not be as pleasant. << With that
Mewtwo teleported out of the area.
The cameras cut back to Hiroshi and Daisuke in the real UltraDome
as the fight was over. Both blinked at their monitors, and then at
the cameras. "Uh, I don't think he's getting up out of that."
Hiroshi was sullen, "Washuu-chan can rebuild him, can't she?"
Daisuke shook his head. "I don't know. We'll be back after
this."
********
As the screen cut to a commercial for the latest in poke-wear,
Washuu bit her lip. "I don't know either." Holding back a tear, she
picked up the phone to call Dr. Light. Glancing back at the half
assembled Ifurita and Gally sitting in her lab, she shook her head.
"I just don't know."
********
"Welcome back!" Hiroshi shouted as soon as the red light on top
of the camera came on. "That certainly was a close Omega match,
wasn't it, Dai?"
"It was completely one-sided..."
"Work with me, Daisuke."
Daisuke sweatdropped as the crowd roared their approval of
Hiroshi's line.
Hiroshi returned his attention to the camera. "Well now, we have
a special lambda match coming up next. The winners of this match will
get a shot at the Lambda belts, which are currently held by the
Disciples of the Void, next week at Ultra Rage Delta!"
"But we have no idea who's actually in the match do we, Hiroshi?"
Daisuke added with a slightly vicious edge.
Before Hiroshi could respond to his partner's question, the
ControversialTron came to life proudly displaying a new CJ logo.
"Looks like your question is about to be answered, because the BOSS IS
IN THE HOUSE!"
Controversial Jack slowly came down to the ring, microphone in
hand. "I'll get those ratings to rise, if I have to pull them up
myself," Jack thought as he entered the ring. As Jack raised the
microphone to his mouth, silence fell over the crowd. "I have them
eating out of my hand. I love my job," Jack muttered to himself.
Finally addressing the crowd, Jack started, "I have a problem
with the Lambda division. Too many teams have been screwing up lately.
Now every team will be at Ultra Rage Delta next week in a _special_
match, but Yashiro and Shermie will also have to defend their belts.
And since they've beaten everyone that has challenged them, I want
their opponents next week to win a match tonight."
The crowd's cheering rose another notch, impressive in light of
the lack of attendance.
Jack smiled, "Now, I don't really care who gets to fight for the
title next week, so the first two teams in the ring get the match! And
the winners get a title shot next week at URD!"
The crowd screamed even louder for a minute, then quieted down to
see who would come out first. It wasn't long until the lights went out
except for two spotlights aimed at the entrance ramp.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
The crowd yelled wildly at Team Rocket's usual entrance. In the
ring, Jack sweatdropped. "Not those losers, " Jack thought, "Oh well,
at least they'll get beat up by whoever shows up."
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
Many in the crowd continued chanting along with the rest of their
entrance.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket BLASTS OFF at the SPEED OF LIGHT!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
"You're the first ones out here you morons!" Meowth yelled at
James, knocking him on the head. "Now get in there, and do your job."
As Jessie and James entered the ring, Meowth took his semi-usual
spot at the announcing booth next to Hiroshi. After putting on a
headset Meowth began, "I have a feeling that Team Rocket's time for
success has finally come!"
"Please tell us, Meowth," Hiroshi began.
"Oh yes, tell us," Daisuke sarcastically added.
The cat-like pokemon responded, "Well, we are on one of our best
winning streaks of all time!"
"You've won one match in a row." Daisuke remarked.
"And for those two in the ring, that's a great winning streak!"
Meowth replied.
Daisuke sweatdropped.
"We now have to wait to see who will challenge the monumental
momentum of Team Rocket," Hiroshi announced.
"Looks like we won't have to wait long," Daisuke said, seeing
movement near the entrance ramp.
Hiroshi and Daisuke didn't have to see who was coming to the
ring, since they could HEAR the legendary voice nearing the ring.
"COME FORTH MY FAITHFUL PUPIL, AS WE WILL RIGHT THE WRONG THAT WAS
DONE TO US! WE SHALL TRIUMPH IN A LEGENDARY WAY, FOR IT IS THE ONLY
WAY YOUR LEGENDARY MASTER CAN TRIUMPH!"
"Yes, Legendary Master, for I, Tatewaki Kunou, the Blue Thunder
of Furinkan High, shall aide you in our valiant battle!" Kunou boomed
in response.
The match would have started had not the ControversialTron begun
to flicker. It went completely black for two seconds before the
infamous logo of ShadowNERV appeared. Seconds later, Bison's face
appeared before the booing crowd.
"Pardon me, dear samurai," Bison's voice boomed over the
Ultradome's speakers, "But you two have already had a chance for the
title. I believe that MY team deserves the opportunity to claim the
Lambda titles. So, Sagat, if you would do the honors."
Had Haohmaru been watching the entrance ramp instead of Bison's
face on the ControversialTron, he would have seen Sagat and Ken enter
the arena. Instead, he was caught by surprise as Sagat launched into
a Tiger Genocide that left him lying prone in the aisle. Simultaneously,
Bison directed Ken to dispose of Kunou. A shoryu-reppa was all that was
required to knock out Kunou. "Now that the trash has been removed, we
will kindly take our place in this match," Bison remarked.
James and Jessie began to sweat heavily. Nearby, Jack smiled.
"We have our match!" Jack yelled to the delight of the crowd. "The
winning team, and I think I know who that will be, gets the Lambda title
shot next week at the PPV! Now, I will take pleasure in watching this
match from the back." Jack announced to the crowd. Leaving, Jack
kicked the prone body of Kunou on the way up the aisle.
] [ #1 CONTENDERS LAMBDA MATCH
] [ TEAM ROCKET vs. BISON'S BUSTERS
] [ FIGHT!
"Sagat, would you like to start this match?" Bison inquired of the
grand master as Sagat and Ken climbed between the ring ropes.
"No, thank you, Bison. Against these two, there's no reason to
even work up a sweat. Why don't you have some fun with your puppet?"
Bison's grin stretched across the ControversialTron. "Why, thank
you. I believe that I will have fun. MWAHAHAHA!!"
Across the ring, Jessie and James were sweating profusely. "One
of us has to start this match," James stated.
"Why don't you start?" Jessie offered.
"I was thinking 'ladies first.'"
Bison commanded Ken to grab James, since he was closer, and the
bell rang to officially begin the fight.
Bison continued his perpetual grin. "I am not without mercy," he
began, "And feeling merciful today, I will only use the 'jab' button."
Ken then jabbed James squarely in the face. A second jab directed at
James's stomach sent him reeling toward his corner.
"Ooooh, that looks like that hurt. How much more of this can Team
Rocket take?" Hiroshi questioned.
"I give this fight about one more minute before it's over."
Daisuke replied.
"Don't count them out yet," Meowth chimed in. "These guys can
take a lot of punishment. I should know, I've seen them take plenty of
it."
"Je, Je, Jessie," James stuttered, "did you bring any of the
pokemon with you?"
"I thought you had them!"
James sweatdropped, and then was thrown across the ring by Ken.
Bison's grin widened across the ControversialTron. "Let's see
how much more punishment he can take." Ken then performed a shouryu-ken
sending James flying, then falling back down to the mat.
The referee began the count. "1...2...3..."
"Looks like this match is over already," Hiroshi moaned.
"Told you so," Daisuke replied.
"Wait a minute! Look at that!" Hiroshi pointed out.
Surprisingly, Ken was picking James up off the mat.
"Looks like Bison is not through with this fight. I guess he
wants to drive home a point to Lambda that his team is the baddest
team there is," Hiroshi said.
James was barely able to stand, which was just the position that
Bison wanted him in. "Now you will feel the fury of a perfect fighter,
weakling," Bison taunted James. Ken, at Bison's command, crouched down
and then jumped releasing a flaming Shinryu-ken on James's staggering
body.
James soared into the air, got doused by the automatic sprinkler
system, and then fell back down hitting the mat sharply.
Before the referee could begin the ten count, Ken once again
pulled James up from the ring mat. The crowd could tell by Bison's
expression that he was about to finish off the pathetic pokemon poacher.
Next to Hiroshi, Meowth said, "I guess they may need my help after
all." The cat-like pokemon then ran over to Jessie handing her a small
white bag.
"Thanks, Meowth. Now get back over there before the ref sees
you."
*THUD*
James had just landed back in his corner with two black eyes and
a bloody nose. "I think you had better come in, Jessie."
"What! And get myself roughed up? I think not."
"Huh?!?"
"Here, James, this should help."
Jessie then threw a pokeball into the ring.
"What pokemon could stand a chance at helping Team Rocket against
such fearsome foes?" commented Hiroshi.
"Does the word 'none' mean anything to you?" Daisuke snidely
replied.
Bison quirked an eyebrow at the sight of the pokemon that had
emerged. "Hmmm... interesting that you sent out that pokemon. I had
forgotten that you had that one."
"As you were saying, Daisuke?"
"Okay, maybe Mew could help them out somewhat."
Mew just stared at Ken. James hoped that the next attacks would
not be as painful as the last few. Ken looked like he was about to move
in for the kill, but he didn't move. The entire crowd looked over at
the ControversialTron to see Bison, beginning to look annoyed, wildly
moving the joystick and failing the get any movement out of Ken.
"Amazing!" Hiroshi proclaimed. "It appears that Mew is
interfering with Bison's control over Ken! This could be the chance
that Team Rocket needs!"
James opened his eyes after not getting hit for several seconds
and saw that Ken was not moving. James slowly approached the unmoving
body of his opponent. Once close enough to touch Ken, he waved his hand
in front to Ken's face in an attempt to get any movement out of Ken.
Realizing that Ken was not going to move, James swelled with confidence.
He got ready to punch Ken with all the force he could muster. "Pokemon
Poacher Punch!!!" James yelled at the top of his lungs. "OW!OW!OW!"
"I guess James isn't used to punching people," Daisuke commented.
James punch did send Ken backward, right toward Sagat's corner.
"Sagat, tag in and eliminate that meddlesome pokemon."
Sagat complied and gave Mew a Tiger Knee.
"Sagat just leveled Mew with one attack! I don't think that Mew
will be able to help Team Rocket any more tonight," Hiroshi commented.
"Team Rocket blew their one chance. If they had kept Ken away
from his corner, they would have won this match," Daisuke remarked.
Back in the aisle way, Sasuke had finally come down to attend to
his master. "Master, are you alright?"
Kunou slowly looked up at his faithful ninja servant. "I am fine,
Sasuke, but there is something I want you to do."
"Yes, Master Kunou?"
"I want you to knock out everyone in the ring, that way Master
Haohmaru and I shall get the title shot next week."
"Hai." And with that, Sasuke immediately ran to the back.
Kunou slumped back down. "I suppose I shall have to take matters
into my own hands."
Sagat then punched James harder than Bison had made Ken. James
sailed back to his corner. Jessie reminded him of Daisuke's remarks.
"You idiot! If you had hit Ken over here, we would have won!" Jessie
then smacked James on the head, and he fell over to the outside of the
ring.
"Well, it looks like Jessie made the tag." Hiroshi said.
"What?" Jessie responded. But the ref motioned for her to enter
the ring. Having no choice, Jessie cautiously entered the ring. She
then quickly reached for that bag Meowth had handed her. "Arbok, go get
him!"
Sagat knocked the pokemon out of the ring with a simple kick.
"Weezing, go now!"
Again, Sagat had no trouble removing the poison type pokemon from
the arena.
"It looks like Team Rocket is almost done." Hiroshi remarked
pushing an unconscious Arbok off of the announcing table. "What can
Jessie do to try to win this match?"
Sasuke had made his way up to the structural supports of the
Ultradome roof. "I shall make the roof fall down upon all of my
Master's foes," he thought as he began to sabotage the roof.
Jessie had run out of pokemon to attempt to deter the oncoming
brute. With nowhere to run, she decided her best chance was to catch
Sagat off guard. She rushed up toward Sagat and jumped and slapped
Sagat across the face.
Sagat reeled back for a moment, then he looked at Jessie, cocked
his head to the side, and laughed his arrogant laugh. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Jessie realized that she was out of options and that Sagat was
about to pound her. So she screamed at the top of her lungs,
"HHEEEEEELLLLLLPP!"
Her ear piercing screech surprised Sasuke causing him to strike
the area he was standing upon. This knocked a loose girder downward
toward the ring. The audience noticed it falling down, but none of the
fighters did.
"WHAT IS THAT!" Hiroshi screamed, finally noticing the falling
beam.
Jessie and Sagat both looked up at the falling beam. Not having
enough time to get out of the way, Sagat was struck over the head by it.
"Ouch! It's a good thing for Jessie that Sagat's the taller one
of the two! That must have hurt, but look! Sagat's still standing!"
Hiroshi declared.
Sagat was dazed but still on his feet after having the steel
girder land on his head. Had the referee not been looking toward the
ceiling trying to see if anything else was going to fall, he might have
noticed Haohmaru and Kunou regaining consciousness. Angered at the
sneak attack they had suffered, they attacked the Bison's Busters in
tandem. Kunou distracted Ken, who was still not fully controllable due
to the lingering effects of Mew's physic interference, and Kunou swung
his bokken to cause maximum distraction to Ken with minimal noise as to
not alert the referee to his actions. Meanwhile, Haohmaru jumped into
the ring and clocked Sagat on the back of the head with his blade.
Sagat slumped down to the mat. The referee turned around just after
Haohmaru had left the ring and saw the knocked out Sagat. The ref
called for the bell and proclaimed Team Rocket the winners.
"What amazing luck Team Rocket has!" Hiroshi screamed.
"Kunou and Haohmaru got a little payback on Sagat and Ken for
preventing them entering the match. Team Rocket just reaped the
benefits of being the lesser of two weasels," Daisuke remarked.
"And with that great win, Team Rocket will meet the Disciples
of the Void for the Lambda title at Ultra Rage Delta next week! That
should be a great match!"
"Whoever cheats first and best will win."
"And I'll be there to make sure we win!" Meowth chimed in.
"Let's take a quick break. We'll be back with some more Ultra
action shortly."
********
The night before Ultra...
Mihoshi stood back and admired her handiwork while B-ko posed
nervously for her. "You look wonderful, B-ko-chan! That red dress
really looks so much better on you than that battle bikini!"
B-ko blushed. "Really? Thank you. Of course, someone with my
upbringing looks good in anything we choose to wear." She paused.
"Do you think he�ll like it?" She twirled experimentally. The light
glittered off of the sparkly texture of her form-fitting long red dress,
showing off her figure to its best advantage.
"Yep! Now, you go on that date and tell me all about it when you
get back, okay?"
"Okay! Thank you, Mihoshi!" B-ko waved and stepped out the door,
new life in her stride.
*****
Back in the present, Daisuke and Hiroshi announce as the films
highlights play.
Daisuke groaned. "I can�t believe we�re actually announcing a
da--"
"Shh! I want to hear what he orders!" Hiroshi strained to catch
what they were telling the waiter.
] [ OMEGA MATCH #2 -- BLIND DATE
] [ SEPHIROTH courts B-KO
] [ FIGHT?
B-ko looked adoringly at the tall, silvery-haired psychopath
sitting across the table from her. He was currently slicing up the
complimentary bread with great efficiency, as they waited for their
main entrees. She sighed.
"Is something troubling you?" Sephiroth asked in his usual cold
tones.
B-ko beamed. Sephiroth was on a date with her -- and talking to
her! "No, of course not! I�m very happy that you are here with me,
that�s all." She looked somewhat askance at the uneaten chicken liver
pat� with foie gras sitting on the table.
"Of course."
Silence followed, the only sounds in the restaurant were of other
patrons conversing and eating their meals. B-ko was relieved when the
waiter came with their orders.
"Souffl� Suissesse for the mademoiselle, and Bressole of Bresse
pidgeon for the gentleman?" At their nods, he thrust the dishes in
front of them and briskly left. The two immediately set to the work
of consuming the food.
*****
Hiroshi yawned. "This...this is so BORING!"
"There hasn't been any mass property damage yet...that's good
enough for me." Daisuke replied.
*****
"So, Sephiroth... What do you like to do in your spare time?"
B-ko ventured.
"I wish to become a God."
B-ko nodded. "Right. And what else do you do?"
"I have become interested in the making of mecha, such as the
machines that you produce."
"Really?" She brightened.
"Yes, I was wondering if you could perhaps, ah, help me design
some, just as a hobby you understand." Sephiroth looked down at his
plate. "I had a few ideas..."
*****
"Hiroshi, would you stop drooling?"
"But look! They�re having caramelized ice cream souffl� with
hazelnuts and raspberry soulis for dessert!"
*****
Krillin looked at the couple from his vantage point behind a
potted palm. Now...when were they going to start fighting? Jack called
him in to referee, and told him to do it secretly -- which was very
strange. But then again, Jack *was* a strange individual. But what
were they doing? Sephiroth had just picked up his fork and was waving
it around emphatically while B-ko shook her head and started drawing
diagrams on a notepad she had just pulled out of that tiny purse she was
carrying, that incidentally perfectly matched her shoes. How did she
fit that thing in there?
*****
"So you see, if you used that sort of angle of projection for the
rocket launchers, it wouldn�t be as effective."
Sephiroth nodded. "But let me demonstrate what I mean." He
pulled out a mini-rocket launcher and set it up on the table. Setting
it off, the rocket burst from its place and careened wildly around the
room, impacting with an innocuous potted palm. There was a startled
scream, and the restaurant went quiet.
*****
"Hey! Wake up, Daisuke! Look, Sephiroth just blew up that
potted palm! Where did he get that mini-rocket launcher anyways?"
"I think B-ko gave it to him. Is it just me, or is the thought
of those two together just a little frightening?"
"Nah! They�re *so* cute together!"
"...Right."
*****
"Now see, you were aiming for the stag�s head on that wall over
there, weren�t you? The aim goes terribly off when you do that, which
is why it was so far off mark."
"I see what you mean, now."
*****
Krillin groaned and held an ice pack to his head. That thing had
HURT! He limped after the two fighters as they finished their meal and
left the restaurant. This time, he�d go straight up to them and tell
them to fight it out. What was up with this secret stuff anyways? He
felt like he was spying on a date or something. He blinked. "Sephiroth
and B-ko out on a date? Ha!"
*****
"Did you hear something?"
"No, I did not. Now, how do I play this...game again?"
"Simple. You just hit the ball into the hole over there. I�ll
go first." B-ko picked up her golf club and tapped the bright pink
golf ball lying on the ground. It rolled towards the hole and, after a
brief moment of seeming indecision while it wobbled on the edge, it fell
in. "See? Easy."
*****
"And B-ko one-ups Sephiroth by scoring a perfect hole in one!"
"A child could have made that shot, Hiroshi."
*****
"Very well. If you, a mere mortal, can accomplish this task,
surely I, a God, can do the same." He placed his neon green ball
onto the turf and swung. *WHACK* The ball became a neon green blur
as it sped through the atmosphere, stopping suddenly with a large
*THWACK* sound as it hit something, which was then followed by a *THUD*
sound, as if that same something hit the ground.
*****
"You were saying, Daisuke?"
"...He isn�t going to see this tape, is he?"
*****
"That was very good for your first try! But you need to hit it
a little less hard next time, okay?"
He nodded and produced another neon green ball. "Let me try
this again."
*****
Krillin looked up into the concerned faces of some mini-golfers
who had happened to be standing nearby when the golf ball came flying
out of hell and hit him. "I�m okay, really. Just a little...ugh."
He passed out again.
*****
B-ko sniffled a bit as she watched the heroine was rescued by the
dashing hero from certain death who proclaimed his ever-lasting love
for her. "This is so romantic!"
Sephiroth, startled awake by her remark, simply nodded in
agreement. "Ah, yes. I suppose so." He privately thought that he
would not let B-ko pick out the movie next time. He would have much
preferred going to that new Jackie Chan flick.
*****
"How LONG is this movie? And how did B-ko convince Sephiroth to
go to a chick flick anyways? That�s a low blow!"
"But good strategy. She could knock him out when he falls asleep
again."
*****
Krillin, in the seat behind them, was also startled awake. "What
is the DEAL with these people!" He muttered to himself. "Eating out,
mini-golfing, now the movies?! When are they supposed to FIGHT?!� He
glanced at his watch. "Darn...there�s still about three more hours of
this drivel, isn�t there?" Settling himself down again, he prepared to
wait them out.
*****
B-ko wiped a tear from her eye. "I can�t believe she died! After
all of the agony the hero went through! Who is going to comfort him
now?"
Sephiroth, who had actually been awake for the latter part of the
movie -- there were more fight scenes and lots of gore and blood --
replied, "Well, the lady�s sister has suffered a grievous loss as well,
perhaps she and the hero will get together."
B-ko turned suddenly shimmering eyes to him. He suddenly felt
very nervous. "Why, that�s perfect!" She then gave him a hug. He
stiffened slightly and then awkwardly put his arm around her, shifting
his Masamune in the process. The thud behind them went unheard as the
hero�s hometown went up in a massive explosion on the movie screen.
*****
Hiroshi wiped some tears from his eyes. "That�s...that�s so
ROMANTIC!" He started bawling and threw himself into Daisuke�s arms.
Daisuke sweatdropped. "Get a hold of yourself. It�s just a
movie."
*****
Krillin had actually seen the Masamune heading towards him and
only managed to mutter, "This is nuts!" before he went down for the
count. Again.
*****
"I had a lovely evening, Sephiroth." B-ko said, as she stood at
her door.
"I had a not unpleasant time as well, B-ko."
*****
"Is this it? Is he going to kiss her?!"
"Somehow I can�t see that happening."
"Work with me, Daisuke!"
*****
Sephiroth leaned in closer to B-ko, she closed her eyes
expectantly.
*****
"Look! He's going in! Getting closer! Their lips are gonna
touch! They're gonna KISS! ...Daisuke, what are you doing?"
"Finishing up my r�sum�."
"Oh, come on! The date is almost done!"
*****
Suddenly, a loud crash occurred behind the couple. The two
turned to see Krillin standing somewhat shamefacedly with the Ultra
camera crews. "Uh, sorry about that, you two. You go on right ahead
with what you were doing..."
Sephiroth and B-ko exchanged glances. "Shall I?" Sephiroth
asked.
"Go ahead."
"Bolt 3."
*BOOM*
*****
"That was so sweet!" Hiroshi gushed.
"Right. I guess that would be a nice ending for a date between
two psychopaths."
"Oh get a sense of romance!"
********
Jack was speechless. "Not only do I have the LOSERS in a title
match at UltraRage, but B-ko and Sephiroth's big fight turned into...
a highlight tape from hell!"
*squeak*
"You're right Mr. Duck, at least they're popular with the crowd.
I suppose I'll have to allow it. This show can't be bringing in the
ratings I need." Jack's head fell onto his desk. "Losing... will... to
book. What would some of the other industries' great bookers do...."
With a flash he sat up and pressed the button on the intercom. "Nuku!
I need you to find me a black cowboy hat, pronto!"
Before he could further that though, a pink blur phased in through
the front door. "I, Taunting Godhead Legend Stone Cold Dan Hibiki, have
answered your summons, Jack! OOOSHA!"
Jack held on to his desk for sheer life, the power of the taunt
threatening to throw him through his one way mirrors into the women's
locker room. "Uh... yeah. Dan. I've got a fight for you. A long
time rivalry for you to settle."
Dan fell to one knee, thrusting his forearm out into a manly flex!
"OOSHA! Finally, that hot dog vendor shall know the wrath of Stone Cold
Dan Hibiki!"
Jack sweatdropped. "Longer running. Akuma."
Dan blinked, "Akuma? Er... Yes! Akuma shall fall before my 15%
of godliness might! OYAJI! DAN-DAN WILL WIN THIS ONE FOR YOU!"
********
Somewhere in heaven, Papa Hibiki was playing cards with a man who
looked somewhat like the male version of Sofia seen earlier in the year.
The blonde haired man guffawed. "You hear that? Your god of a son is
chanting to you again."
Papa Hibiki sweatdropped. "Yeah, well I'm sure he'll get his ass
kicked soon enough. That'll shut him up."
********
The light above the camera came on, and Hiroshi started his usual
spiel. "Wow! What an exciting night tonight! What else could happen
tonight folks!? We're only a few short minutes away from tonight's main
event, a Royal Rumble! Every Gamma opponent will enter the ring and..."
He was cut off as the new Controversial Jack logo and theme music
started playing again. Daisuke commented, "Looks like we're in for a
change of program."
Controversial Jack walked down the ramp, mic in hand. The crowd
cheered wildly, almost creating a nice effect, although it still
sounded rather hollow. "Sorry, Hiroshi, but Daikatana there is right.
We are in for a change of plans, but the Royal Rumble is still on.
First, we're going to see an Omega GRUDGE match LIVE from the North
Pole!"
Hiroshi blinked, "A GRUDGE match!? LIVE from the North Pole!? Who
could it be!?"
Jack smiled, "Why Hiroshi, I'm glad you asked. IN THIS CORNER,"
Jack turned and pointed up the entrance ramp. "We have the ONLY Omega
fighter to start out in the Gamma League... STONE COLD DAN HIBIKI!"
Jack's words were inaudible after he got the STONE part out.
The crowd, all 3,000 of them were all cheering. Then, to the musical
accompaniment of Tubthumping, Dan Hibiki walked down the entrance ramp,
accompanied by Krillin.
"OOOSHA! STONE COLD DAN HIBIKI SHALL VANQUISH HIS FOE WITH HIS
MIGHTY FIRST!" Dan rolled into the ring, despite the fact that they
wouldn't be fighting there, for sentimental value. "OYAJI!!!"
Jack grinned evilly. THIS would bring in the ratings. "And
already in place at the North Pole, the master of the evil intent,
shotokan practitioner... Shin... Akuma."
********
Akuma stood before the 'Ice Cream Maker', and pondered what to
do. Or to be exact, he pondered exactly how many different ways he
would torture Devilot before he killed her.
Then the cameras arrived in a *fwomp* sound.
Akuma raised an eyebrow, turning. There were Ultra Omega fight
cameras all around him. Apparently he was about to be challenged.
Inconvenient, but he would deal with the interloper quickly.
********
"He doesn't look very happy to see the cameras," Daisuke noticed.
"I wonder if Jack let him know about the fight before hand."
"How could he NOT be happy to see the Ultra cameras! It means
gratuitous violence is forthcoming!!!" Hiroshi used his excited voice
reserved for GRUDGE matches LIVE from a location.
Dan and Krillin stepped through the portals in the ring,
appearing next to Shin Akuma. Dan stepped toward his old foe. "So
long as I can remember, you have mocked me with your ways Akuma. You
seem to think you are the most powerful of the shotokan. Well I shall
teach you otherwise! OOOSHaaaaahhh! Dan-Dan's footsies are cold!" Dan
hopped from one bare foot to the other.
Krillin stepped forward. "I'm the referee today. Same rules
apply. Don't think because I'm not Goku you can trounce on the
rules." Akuma stared down at the little man, but didn't object.
"Okay.. ready? FIGHT!"
] [ OMEGA MATCH #3 -- GRUDGE MATCH
] [ STONE COLD DAN HIBIKI VS. SHIN AKUMA
] [ FIGHT!
Dan stopped hopping on his feet once he remembered he was
technically 15% of all that made up God in the universe, and willed
himself not cold. "OOOSHA! Beware my mighty power!!!" Dan started to
glow with a pink battle aura. Akuma, who had been advancing upon the
pink shotokan warrior paused momentarily.
Back in the Ultradome, Hiroshi marked out. "OH MY LINA! WHAT
CAN DAN BE DOING!? IS HE SHOOTING OFF HIS ULTIMATE ATTACK ALREADY!? I
CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPENSE!"
"Careful Hiroshi, remember your heart. And besides, knowing Dan,
he's going to do something incredibly stupid."
Dan's pink aura glow brightened. Krillin could scarcely see the
fighters. "This is nuts!" He flew in closer to keep an eye on them.
Pink aura shining magnificently Dan flexed his mighty forearm.
"OOOSHA!" A wave of power shot out. Krillin went sky rocketing back,
Akuma braced himself in the ground. Dan's hands began to glow with more
pink power.
Akuma took a step back to prepare for the oncoming onslaught.
Krillin powered up his battle aura and prepared to deflect any side
effects that unleashing the full power of Dan might have. Dan let out
a mighty roar, and Akuma's eyes widened. Dan glowed with intense power,
and reached into his gi, and pulled out... a 3 x 5 glossy of his image!
Quickly signing it he tossed it at Akuma. Then another. And
another. His arms were a blur as Akuma was pinned down by a
jaw-dropping amount of autographed pictures.
Daisuke sweatdropped, speechless. Hiroshi raises his fists in
triumph. "Dan has it won folks! What an amazing move! Akuma's got
to be in a world of hurt!"
Recovering, Daisuke replied. "Actually, I imagine he's got the
mother of all paper cuts and is rather pissed."
"Work with me--" Hiroshi was cut off by Daisuke whacking him on
the back of the head.
"I let you go twice already, don't push it."
Dan power posed in front of the pile of glossy photos. "You have
fallen before the mighty fists of STONE COLD DAN HIBIKI!!!" He did a
victory flex, complete with his gi ripping off his chest, and tears
streaming down both cheeks.
Krillin floated down near the stack. "Uh... 1.. 2... 3... 4..."
Suddenly he picked up Akuma's chi spiking, and flew out of the way. Dan
looked after him curiously.
"...*grunt*" was the only verbal warning Dan had before Akuma
unleashed a two-handed super fireball at him that knocked him into a
snow drift. Dan crawled out of a smoking, man shaped hole in the drift,
wobbly. His gi totally burnt off his chest, much to the delight of the
ladies in the UltraDome.
"An amazing comeback by Akuma folks, I think he recovered from the
paper cut and will be finishing Dan off shortly." Daisuke seemed rather
bored.
"How can you be so calm? Stone Cold Dan Hibiki is losing!"
"Practice?"
"You've had practice being calm or with Dan losing?"
"Both?"
"..." Hiroshi sweatdropped.
Dan attempted a weak three kick attack, which Akuma parried and
countered with a devastating flaming uppercut. Before Dan could even
hit the ground, his body was intercepted by a lightening footed
hurricane kick by Akuma, his feet sticking out as he spun around again
and again, his chi charging each contact with Dan's body. As Dan hit the
ground, Akuma jumped into the air, and unleashed an unholy barrage of one
handed fireballs at him. Krillin was briefly reminded of Vegita, as he
floated down next to Dan's body to start the count, "... 1!"
"And DAN is down! Will the taunting godhead legend get up?"
"After that? Probably not. The Tostido's Combo Counter rates
that as a 'Wonderful 36 hit combo.' Ouch," Daisuke read from his
sponsor list.
Akuma, meanwhile, was still cheesed. "I did not ask for this
fight." Turning, he quickly sent red fireballs at all the cameras in
the area.
Daisuke blinked. "We seem to have... lost our feed ladies and
gentlemen. We'll have it back sho--" He was cut off as the crowd
started booing.
Back in his office, Jack's jaw dropped. "No! Our first
ratings catcher ALL night and that wannabe evil monstrosity blows it for
me! That's it! He's on my 'book evilly' list!" He hit the intercom.
"NUKU! Get me cameras to the North pole NOW!"
Krillin paused his count out at 9 when Akuma destroyed the
cameras. "Uhh... you're not supposed to do that."
Akuma stood before Krillin, his arms crossed and his eyes
glowing with evil intent. "I am not just a play thing for your shows
amusement. Tell Jack if he crosses me again, he shall receive this."
A new squad of cameras teleported in just as Akuma unleashed a round
of fists and kicks into a surprised Krillin.
"Did I just see what I thought I saw?" Hiroshi blinked.
"... That was unexpected." Daisuke stared at the monitor with
an eyebrow raised.
Akuma continued his onslaught into Krillin, punch, fireball, kick,
punch, uppercut, kick. Staggering back when the blows stopped, Krillin
tried to muster his strength. If he could just catch his breath, he'd
show this Akuma a thing or two.
"Remember this, if you survive." With that, Akuma's eyes flashed,
and he floated towards Krillin slowly, a trail of shadows following him.
Krillin raised his arms to block naively.
"Doesn't he know that you can't block that move?" Daisuke shook
his head. "You'd think a ref would at least do SOME research."
Hiroshi, however, had his eyes on the monitor, "OH MY LINA! DAN
IS UP! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! DAN IS UP!"
Dan was indeed up, and although he seemed to be favoring his left
side slightly, he was glowing with a BRIGHT orange battle glow. Then
HE floated forward with Dan shadows tracing over him, meeting Akuma head
on as he screamed in Japanese, "OTOKO MICHI!" The two grappled in their
overpowered states for a moment, then Dan glowed bright, and a ball of
chi exploded outward and knocked out the feed for a moment.
Hiroshi had to remember to breathe while he waited for the image
to clear. When it did, it clearly showed Krillin raising Dan's arm in
victory. "DAN WON! DAN WON!" Gasping, Hiroshi reached for the oxygen
mask behind his chair.
Daisuke shook his head, "We'll be back with the Royal Rumble for
the last slot in the Ranma Saotome Memorial Gamma Tournament in just a
few minutes, after a word from our sponsors."
********
Krillin helped a cheerful, yet very ouchful, Dan into the portal.
When it and the other cameras vanished, a hand arose from the snow. A
somewhat annoyed hand. The hand of.. Akuma. It promptly fell back
down. Before he blacked out a word passed through the mind of the
master of evil shotokan. "Ouch."
********
"We're back once again with the most electrifying show in sports
entertainment!" Hiroshi smiled at the camera. Daisuke rolled his eyes
and mouthed the word 'lawsuit' as Hiroshi quickly continued. "Well we
should be setting up for the Royal Rumble bout ANY second now, the rules
are --"
He was cut off by the Controversial Jack logo appearing on the
ControversialTron. "Alright you Omega losers, I'm giving your division
one last chance to earn your keep tonight. Rei. Voiduck. Get your
asses to the Washuu Telepads. Now."
Daisuke glanced at Hiroshi, "The boss isn't in the best of moods
tonight is he?"
Hiroshi gulped, "Yup, and it looks like he's scheduled an
impromptu fight between Evangelion Unit-00 and the former leader of the
Void, Voiduck!"
In the crowd, a row of girls held up SD Voiduck signs. Daisuke
blinked and said, "You girls realize that he tried to destroy the
universe at the last PPV right?"
"YEAH BUT HE'S SO KAWAII!!!" they shrieked in one voice, which
was quite impressive considering there was only about 4 or 5 of them.
Daisuke sweatdropped.
"... The fighters are getting ready for their brawl, we'll be
back right after this," Hiroshi cut to commercial.
********
Gendo sat at his desk, his hands crossed. Rei stood before his
desk, leafing through a small black notebook. "So you understand your
new taunts and moves Rei?"
"hai."
"Remember, without the other pilots you are our last hope. Without
your success, there's no telling what Bison will do to us. I'm counting
on you Rei." Gendo spoke from behind his hands, he'd grown used to it
during their no budget days.
"hai." Rei turned and walked out, going to go join the fight.
Gendo watched Rei as she left. "Damn that Hiroshi boy. He'll
soon learn the folly of stealing Rei away from me."
********
Cybertron. Once a great metropolis bristling with activity, it
was now a barren planet caught in a conflict between two sides whose
very views barred them seeing eye to eye. Although it was in the
midst of a great war that would change Cybertron forever regardless of
who won, there were few actual inhabitants. This made for an ideal
sparring ground for an Omega fight.
The Omega cameras arrived on the scene, with Krillin, recovered
from his earlier attempts at refereeing. "This time, NOTHING is
going to catch me by surprise." He failed to notice the giant
Transformer head in the background eyeing him. Evangelion Unit-00
stepped out of the portal, and from another portal stepped Voiduck.
Voiduck was not happy to be here. He would have to crush this
enemy quickly. He had not been expecting to fight and hadn't stored
up much hate. He glanced at his opponent. Rather, he glanced at his
opponent's foot. Staring upward with his little beak dropped, he cried
out in terror, "VOI!!!" He waddled over to Krillin and started pleading
with him. "VOIVOIVOI! DUCK!"
Hiroshi and Daisuke watched from the UltraDome. "Voiduck doesn't
seem his confident self," Daisuke snickered.
Using his patched in vid channel from a while back, Hiroshi
waved to Rei. "Hi Rei-chan! Any predictions for the fight?"
Rei flipped through her updated trashtalk notebook, "my ass in
his face."
Cracking up, Daisuke asked, "She do that a lot?"
Hiroshi sweatdropped.
Krillin motioned to the fighters, finally kicking off Voiduck.
"Alright, ready? FIGHT!"
] [ OMEGA MATCH #4 -- MAD BOOKING SKEELZ IN ACTION
] [ REI AYANAMI/UNIT-00 VS OROCHI VOIDUCK
] [ FIGHT!
Voiduck grunted out a [VOI] and started glowing with the dark
energy he was so infamous for. Then he got booted across the horizon
by Unit-00's foot. Unit-00 ran in pursuit. Krillin flew to catch up,
but got stopped by the aforementioned big giant floating head.
"Small creature, by what impudence do you appear on my planet?"
it inquired.
Krillin, being a good deal smaller than the giant floating head,
blinked. "I don't have time for this!"
"So sorry. Obsidian, Strika. Deal with this interloper." The
head floated out of the way to reveal hundreds of transformer drones
being led by two sentient vehicons. Helicopter and decked out tank
drones started to creep up on Krillin, firing dozens of blasts of
lethal energy at him.
Dodging frantically, Krillin glowed with the power of his
chi. "This is NUTS!" Moving at rapid speeds, he proceeded to smash
into as many of the drones as he could with his feet and fists.
Meanwhile, the mighty Eva unit's sprint had finally paid off
and it caught up to Voiduck. The small pokemon was concentrating,
glowing dark purple with energy.
"Look like Voiduck is building up for a desperate attack."
"It's going to have to be a doozy to even phase Rei in her
Eva!" Hiroshi beamed.
Unsure of how to proceed, the Eva stood by, weighing its
options. Suddenly Voiduck opened his eyes, and raised a fin at the
Eva. "[DUCK]!" A large bolt of purple energy struck Unit-00 and it
buckled under the attack. Rei cried out in her cockpit.
"Rei!" Hiroshi gasped.
"Calm down loverboy, she'll be okay," Daisuke shook his head.
The Eva recovered, much to Voiduck's dismay. "Voi oi oi."
It pulled out its prog knife and tossed it at the small duck. Leaping
as high as the small pokemon frame could, he dodged the knife, only to
be backhanded by the Eva into an alleyway. Voiduck sat in against the
dead end wall of the alley, almost out cold.
"She's clearly got Voiduck on the ropes, but where the heck is
our ref?" Hiroshi inquired.
"Maybe he got lost."
Krillin, meanwhile, was about to burst through the horde of
transformer drones, when he was stopped by seven technorganic
creatures. "What the heck!?"
A gorilla took a step forward, "Your fight is noble, but this is
our planet, and your friends are destroying it. Leave these drones to
us. Go retrieve your friends and don't come back." With a flash of
light, the 7 creatures morphed into robots resembling their former
selves. They ran into the fray. Krillin stared after them slackjawed
for a moment, but quickly got up and scrambled toward where he saw the
Eva Unit run.
The giant head laughed, "You've seen your last battle Primal!
I have a mighty doohickey which will destroy you and your friends!"
The robot resembling a gorilla stood tall, "I have a counter
doohickey that will destroy you first!"
A robot that had been a cheetah groaned. "Not again."
Meanwhile, Rei had positioned her eva so that it was standing
right in front of Voiduck in the alley. Turning to face away from
him, the Eva slapped each one of its 'butt cheeks' then suddenly sat
quickly in the corner, putting most of its weight into the pokemon.
It rolled its hips around to push its rear end further into Voiduck.
"Good Lina! Eva is turning Voiduck into a paste! Where is the
ref!? Where could he be!?" Hiroshi jumped out of his seat.
Daisuke pointed. "Right there?"
Krillin had indeed arrived on the scene, and administered a
quick 10 count. Afterwards, Eva got up and stood in the middle of the
open area between the buildings with its head down and its hands draped
down in front of him. Music played over the UltraDome sound system and
the Eva started busting a move right then and there. Off in the
distance, a major light show erupted, causing Krillin to flinch and
giving the Eva a great lighting effect.
Daisuke blinked, "Rei is getting down?"
Hiroshi smiled, "I knew she had character."
"Someone else's character, maybe."
A portal opened, and all three Ultra participants entered
(Voiduck of course had to be carried into it by Krillin) seconds
before an explosion took out the cameras.
"..." was all Daisuke could contribute.
"...the Royal Rumble will be in just a moment folks, bear with us
for one last commercial break!" Hiroshi flashed a 'V' sign at the
camera.
********
"And.................................... we're back!" Hiroshi
announced. "Folks, it's coming up next! The Gamma Royal Rumble, to
determine the next competitor for the Ranma Saotome Memorial Gamma
Tournament, to be held at UltraRage DELTA!"
"The names for these things are getting more and more convoluted,"
Daisuke muttered. "I guess it's better than rattling off some crazed
acronym, though..."
"Everybody in Gamma who hasn't already qualified will be a viable
contender," Hiroshi explained. "That means the newcomer dynamo Chris,
along with Gambit, Iori, Cage, Sakura, Sofia, Wolverine, Yohko, Marlo,
and Lilith! Who will be the next competitor yearning for gold and
glory??"
"And who will just be a little pile of quivering agony lying on
the mat outside the ring until the paramedics ship them off to have
their spines adjusted?" Daisuke added. "The competitors will be
arriving shortly, and--"
"*exCUSE me!*"
"...oh, great," Daisuke groaned, sinking feeling sinking like a
very quickly sinking thing, perhaps like the Titanic only faster, like
after it broke in half and really started going down at full speed.
The Titantron(tm) had popped to life... no ShadowNERV logo or
irate spiky haired head booker, as there usually was when unannounced
interruptions were broadcast in. Instead, there was simply furniture,
as far as the eye could see. A darkened warehouse. Spooky ooky.
"Over here, over here!"
The camera panned right... where Marlo Semaj was sitting in a
recliner, with a refreshing drink in one hand that had far too many
umbrellas, and a steel folding chair in the other. He grinned at the
camera, peering just over his sunglasses.
"I've taken the liberty of commandeering a cameraman on my way
out the door tonight, I hope you guys don't mind," Marlo explained. "I
won't be participating in your ridiculous little ratings-vortex farce
called the 'Ranma Saotome Whiny Crybaby Unimportant Little Title
Thingy'. EVERYBODY knows there is only one belt that proves you're the
baddest mofo on the face of this or any other world -- the Hardcore
title!"
Marlo shined up his nice gold belt, while Daisuke rolled his eyes.
"Why hasn't anybody cut off his video feed? We've got a show to run
here--"
"HOWEVER!" Marlo shouted, tossing his drink away and un-reclining
his recliner. "Week in, week out, I show up at the Ultradome to defend
MY belt, as the Furnityre Savior, the Hardcore Legend. I want to
entertain my many, many fans with amazing matches of blood and guts! I
want to boost Jack's declining ratings and merchandising royalties!
Isn't that something all of you can be proud of? I'm a Hardcore Hero,
baby! My segments are some of the highest rated quarter hours in
Ultra's HISTORY!"
"Actually," Hiroshi mumbled to Daisuke, "I was talking with some
friends back in Nerima, and they keep tuning into his matches hoping to
see someone finally beat the crap out of him."
"And for my admirable efforts, what do I get?" Marlo asked,
swinging out of the recliner and to his feet, adjusting grip on his
furniture weapon. "I ask for a challenger for the upcoming Pay Per
View, someone I can tear the house down, and what does Jack give me? A
GIRL! Some weak little kid who I've already beaten! Do you have any
idea how much I hate to waste my time? There goes ALL my respect for
Jack Lysias, ladies and gentlemen. He's gone soft. I could be having
matches against real talent, MEN who know how to mix it up, but NO,
it's Lilith this, Lilith that, she's the number one contender, blah
blah blah! So, tonight, I'm putting an end to it. Earl, or Dave, or
whatever the hell your name is; pan that bad boy... RIGHT."
The cameraman nervously panned right... to where Lilith was.
Hiroshi jumped out of his seat, in surprise.
She was gagged and dangling by her wrists from a quite fancy brass
wall mounted lamp, in ropes that would probably be trivial -- if not
for the ward planted on her chest, with arcane Japanese writing on it.
She glared at the cameraman, then at Marlo... who was advancing.
Hiroshi started to panic. "...he's not gonna.. he's--!"
"It's amazing what you can find rooting around a Devil Hunter's
locker, isn't it?" Marlo noted, readying his chair. "As a little
message to all you little Ultra smarks that I speak the truth, I'll now
have Jack's little match, right here, right now!"
Normal people can't absorb that many unprotected chairshots right
to the head. Fortunately, Lilith was not normal people. But either
way, a short moment later, she was out cold, and the dented chair had
been tossed aside. Marlo grabbed the shaking camera, to look dead on
into the televisions of Ultra viewers, worldwide.
"Looks like I successfully defend my belt!" he mocked. "Let's
make something clear. Don't... F(beep)... with Marlo. I demand a
challenger at UltraRage Delta that's at my level of talent and
viciousness. Strength. Power. Sheer brutality! No silly little
girls. Oh, and now that I'm done proving she's no longer worthy of my
belt, if you want to come pick up the adorable little lolicon tramp..."
He jammed a sticky note against the lens, a fuzzy street address
printed on it, and walked away. The camera focused, defocused, and
finally the video feed was cut off.
"............," Hiroshi replied, staring at the blank screen.
"...okay," Daisuke said, quietly. "So. Marlo goes psycho again
and proves he's a big man. Wahoo. Someone's gotta take that guy off
his high horse, preferably with a low earth orbit velocity-- Hiroshi?
Hiroshi?"
"He... hee.... Lilith-chan..." his partner said, twitching
slightly. "Daisuke... give me your cellphone."
"Hey, whoa, I barely make enough money to OWN one, don't go
running up a lot of minutes on it," Daisuke warned, fishing it out from
his pocket. "Who're you calling? Police?"
Hiroshi snatched up the phone, pounded in a number, and then...
stood one leg up on the desk, clenching a fist that flared with a small
AT-Field.
"My burning spirit of RAGE demands more than such trivial
measures!!" he proclaimed... with an evil smile. "I am calling Jack.
I know JUST who Marlo can face... and who can get me and Lilith a
little revenge."
"Yeah? Who?"
Then they cut to commercial.
********
The lord of all he surveyed looked across the slopes of Hell, from
a balcony in the city of Dis. And it was good. As good as anything
could be in hell, and in his own eyes, it was very good indeed.
Cloud leaned against the railing, his tired eyes scanning the lands.
Hell had seen far better days... stagnation and disrepair during Kasumi's
era had taken its toll. He felt obligated to help this land now, as its
new owner... something inside him called out to assist, to rebuild, to
make Hell strong again. He never would have thought he would care about
it, but a lot had changed. A lot...
"Cloud...?"
He turned, to see his true love. He faced her with a smile.
"Aerith. It's good to see you. How are the others?"
Aerith stepped forward, reluctantly. "Asuka is... coming along.
Just as you had requested. She should be ready soon."
"That's great. Isn't it wonderful, Aerith? We're free. YOU'RE
free. Free from that abomination they called God... I feel awake now.
I don't have to constantly worry and doubt myself, I don't have a care
in the world. We're free and powerful..."
The young flower girl let it go in one ear and out the other.
Cloud's delusions were getting stronger by the day; this place, this
corruption was convincing him everything was just and right, and that he
was finally happy. She had hoped that by joining his side, she could
turn him away from his path, but every day he just got worse and
worse...
A black disc of pure Void opened, and out stepped the source of all
Cloud's problems. Aerith allowed herself a rare frown at his presence.
"Hel-lo!" Xelloss chimed, wandering in. "I hope I'm not
interrupting?"
"Not at all, Xelloss," Cloud said smoothly.
"Good, good. Listen, I think we need to talk about this whole
Heaven vs. Hell thing," Xelloss said, launching right into business of
the day. "We're fortunate that Lina is so awkward at her new job that
she hasn't leaned on us, but we need to ramp up our efforts at crushing
their forces. I've detailed a--"
"I'm not very interested, Xelloss," Cloud said, leaning against
the balcony railing. "I've already triumphed over Inverse in regaining
my true love. I despise her for what she's done, but why should I be
concerned with her anymore?"
Xelloss chewed his lip. "What if she comes to reclaim Aerith?
Come come now, boy, surely you realize the lengths Inverse will go to to
take away your happiness..."
"She hasn't tried yet," Cloud said. "And when she does... I'll
stop her."
"You're not thinking AHEAD. You are the new owner of this land,
are you not? I gave you that deed not just so you could go on a date
with your lovey dovey, I gave it to you with an assumption of
responsibility. This is your DUTY to act against the heavens--"
Aerith's realization struck quickly. This was the closest thing to
resistance Cloud had offered against Xelloss's manipulations. If she
could convince him now, before Xelloss continued to twist him, maybe
there was a chance...
"He's just using you," she interrupted. "Cloud, Xelloss gave you
the deed and set all of this up just so you could do his dirty work for
him. Lina's opposing his plans, and he knew I'd be enough leverage for
you to attack her for him--"
A pulse of willpower knocked her off her feet, and hurled her
against a wall. The force continued to hold her there... even though
all Xelloss had done was flick a finger to trigger it off. She tried
to open her mouth to scream, but no sound would come out, silenced by
the power...
"Do you mind? This is a man to man talk," Xelloss said. "If--"
He found a buster sword at his neck.
"Take your 'hands' off my love," Cloud warned.
Xelloss pouted. "Cloud, Cloud. Let's be sensible persons, shall
we? But you have a point. That was a bit impolite of me." He flicked
his finger again, letting Aerith drop -- but not removing the muting
spell. "But surely you understand that what I did for you was not a
selfish motive. Would a selfish man care about a young boy's romance?"
"...no, it wouldn't make sense," Cloud said, his sword lowering
somewhat. He furrowed his brow, trying to think.
"Of course not, of course not," Xelloss soothed, stepping away,
smiling all the while. "We're on the same side here, Cloud. I care
about you and your interests... I've supported you, I've given you
everything you've ever wanted. You're nobody's puppet anymore. You
have the power to do as you please to anyone you please. Never again
to be afraid, never again to be hurt."
"..." Cloud said. "Never again..."
"Yes, yes. Exactly. But you have to understand... I'm looking out
for your best interests as well as mine. Right now, it would be best
for both of us if we act to crush Heaven's power. It ensures your
safety, and it, oh, happens to help out a little with this tiny,
unimportant plan I have. Do you follow me, Cloud?"
The young boy's eyes glazed, as Xelloss worked the words, the
logic of them and the magic of them, on him. It all made perfect sense.
He felt comfortable in accepting them. The most natural thing in the
world...
"But it seems that those in your employ are... well, not as
understanding of our little problems," Xelloss said... turning his eyes
on the muted Aerith. "It's sad, I know. I'm so sorry to hear it. But
Aerith here still seems to be a Heaven sympathizer."
Cloud's eyes widened. He looked at Aerith, who still wasn't moving
or speaking (for reasons he wasn't aware of), but seemed very afraid...
"It's true, it's true," Xelloss said. "I've had an eye on her for
awhile. I knew something like this might happen. It seems... we have
not fully purged Lina's influence on her. Steps must be taken.
Procedures followed. Fortunately, Hell is well equipped to handle...
persuading people to points of view. Perhaps after a few days, she'll
be less prone to obeying Inverse's previous orders. It's in her best
interests, yes?"
"But... but she..."
"Do you love her or not, boy? At one time, you told me you'd do
anything for Aerith. ANYTHING. Is that still the case?"
"...anything for Aerith," Cloud spoke, his will twisting around,
convincing himself that Xelloss was right. Love would persevere, and he
would see to it that Aerith would be happy. No matter what it took to
do it.
He advanced on her, knowing what needed to be done.
********
Sakura looked at the paper one more time in disapointment. It
still read the same number. She shook her head, crumpled the paper, and
threw it into the trash can.
Beside her, David patted her shoulder, "No one's allowed ringside
Sakura, otherwise I'd be there to at least lend you morale support."
Sakura turned away from David. "That's alright, I can do this on
my own. I'll find my way." She tightened her wrist gloves. "I'll just
rely on my martial arts skills. Lot of these guys are brawlers. No
finesse. It's not like I have to beat them senseless. Just knock them
over the top rope and watch their feet hit the ground."
David nodded, "Good luck."
Sakura flashed him a small smile then started walking toward the
entry way. "I won't need luck."
********
Backstage, Johnny and Sofia prepared. "Alright, so you know the
plan right? Double team till the end, then a decent spar between the
two of us," Johnny coached Sofia. He was still sore over losing his
last chance to be in the tournament to Morrigan.
Sofia nodded slightly. "Got it."
Peering at her, Johnny touched her arm. "You okay? You don't
seem all here lately."
"I just wish..." she glanced back at a picture of herself as a
male she'd had the foresight to take. "You know."
Johnny nodded. "We'll find out. Somehow."
********
Gambit stood by the entranceway as Sakura arrived. "They be
gettin' back from commercial soon mon'chere," he had his staff in hand,
and he was flexing his muscles. "Gambit been practicing a bit, getting
back in shape. This Cajun ain't gonna be no pushover. Ah just wanted
to warn you, this'll be every man or woman fer themselves, no offense
petite."
Sakura nodded. "Fair enough. Same to you." She extended her
hand. "Good luck." Gambit reached to grab it, but Sakura pulled back.
"On second thought, I don't want to do the same thing Ken did."
Gambit smiled at her, "You're learning petite, you're learning.
Good luck."
********
"Welcome back!" Hiroshi stared down the camera again with his
overexcited look. No more interruptions, our commercial obligations
for tonight are met ladies and gentlemen. You'll have nothing but
Ultra-Excitement for the rest of the evening on your televisions! And
what an event! The Royal Rumble is now! The entire Gamma division--"
"Save Lilith and Marlo for being.. off site. And Shingo,
Mr. Satan, and Morrigan for having already qualified for the
Tournament," Daisuke interjected.
"...Almost the entire Gamma division in a Royal Rumble! Every
minute a fighter enters the ring, only disqualified when they're
thrown over the top ropes and their feet land on the ground. Last man
or woman standing wins a shot at the belt at UltraRage Delta!" Hiroshi
inhaled, then exhaled another shot of announcing goodness, "And our
first competitor is coming out! Former Champion Sakura has drawn the
#1 slot in the Rumble tonight."
Daisuke shook his head. "The number 1 and 2 positions have got
to be the hardest two to defend. They have to get through all the other
opponents to win. One mistake could cost them the entire match."
Waving to her fans as she walked down the entranceway, Sakura took
a deep breath. She wondered who her opponent would be as she climbed
into the ring.
Her question was answered as the Disciples of the Void theme
music played. Chris appeared in the entranceway. "I wonder how Sakura
will handle fighting the former host of the creature that enslaved her
for such a long time?" Hiroshi pondered.
] [ GAMMA ROYAL RUMBLE
] [ ENTIRE ROSTER ON THE LINE
] [ FIGHT!
Chris climbed into the ring, and faced Sakura. The two stared
each other down until the bell rang. Before Chris could even put up
a defense, Sakura came charging at him with a running uppercut.
"Shoryuken!"
"Like that?" Daisuke quipped.
Knocked back, Chris quickly focused his Orochi energy into his
hands and made a few strikes at Sakura. She parried and sidestepped
them, and followed up with a boot to the midsection. Chris stumbled
back into the turnbuckle, while Sakura stood and focused her chi into a
short range but powerful burst. "HADOKEN!"
Chris slumped into the turnbuckle. "Sakura appears to be on her
way to eliminating her first contestant! But wait! Look at the ramp!"
Hiroshi pointed to the entranceway, where Iori was running down to the
ring at full steam.
Sliding into the ring, Iori quickly went to work on the surprised
Sakura. His gloved hands glowing crimson, he managed to jab, punch, and
kick Sakura back a few steps. Suddenly, she just stopped retreating.
Concentrating, every blow was met with a counter blow, and every chi
blast met with one superior. Iori found himself on the losing side of
the battle.
"It looks like Sakura is somehow maintaining the upperhand here!
Amazing!" Hiroshi looked on at the fight. "But Chris is up!"
Chris was indeed up, and advanced on the battle duo. Glowing
with his Orochi birthright, he joined Iori in attacking Sakura. The
renewed attack of both men drove her back to the ropes.
"It looks like bitter rivalries are nothing when you find your
self out skilled in a free for all," Daisuke noted.
Sakura panted, having taken the worst of a shot to the ribs by
Chris, followed by a chop to the back of the head by Iori. Deflecting
a kick from Iori, she leg swept Chris, knocking the boy to the mat.
Concentrating on Iori, she focused her chi and charged him. "Midare
Zakura!!!" She delivered a lightening fast barrage of kicks, punches,
hurricane kicks, followed up by her own style of a shoryuken uppercut.
Iori found himself flying out of the ring, nearly landing in the crowd.
"That's one down, but plenty to go!" Hiroshi chimed.
Chris stood up scowling, and approached the panting Sakura, only
to be surprised when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning, he
found himself face to face with Mr. Hollywood himself, Johnny Cage.
But only for a moment, as he soon found himself the recipient of a
quick kick to the midsection, followed up by repeated rising elbows
to the face. Chris landed in a heap next to Iori. The two slowly stood
and dragged themselves to ringside.
Johnny posed with his hands on his hips, "Are you ready?" He
appeared to be interested in at least playing fair.
Sakura rubbed a trickle of blood from her nose off her face, and
nodded. "Hai."
********
Jack couldn't be happier. He might've lost ground in the first
hour, but he was sure to have won the second hour. From all reports,
the Rumble was going great. He'd even decided to go backstage so he
could run out and congratulate the winner.
He found Morrigan in the wings looking out at the fight. "Didn't
you already qualify for the tournament?"
Morrigan smiled seductively at Jack, "Well yes, but I was
wondering Jack..."
Tugging his collar, he forced himself to answer, "Yes?"
"Well, if I went out there and won the Rumble, could I have a bye
in the tournament so I'd only have to fight once? It'd be so much
easier," Morrigan leaned in real close to Jack to emphasize the point.
Jack ignored the thoughts the proximity of the succubus was
bringing to mind, he was rather used to it actually. "A bye... hrm.
That sounds like a ratings hit. And at the same time... controversial.
Get on out there. You've got the next slot."
"Oooh! Thank you Jack-kun!" Morrigan coo'd to Jack and ran to the
ramp to get to ringside.
********
Back in the ring, Johnny was firing a variety of energy balls
at Sakura, who kept dodging and slowly advancing. Just when she was
about to strike, she caught movement coming up to the ring. She
quickly rolled out of the way of whoever it was that was coming, having
been caught off guard by the last two entrances.
Morrigan slid into the ring with ease. "Hi little girl. I'm
here to make your life miserable."
Sakura pointed at Morrigan. "She's already in the tournament,
this isn't fair!"
Hiroshi looked at Daisuke, who shrugged. "That seems right, she
did win the other night... wait. I've just been handed this. It's a
note from Controversial Jack. With special permission, Morrigan has
entered the Rumble to win a bye in next week's tournament."
"So basically, if Morrigan wins, she gets to fight the survivor
of the Shingo/Mr. Satan match fresh, without having had to fight
beforehand," Daisuke expositioned.
Morrigan was about to make a snide remark to Sakura when she
was interrupted by Johnny, who just happened to be running at her.
"I'd hate to ruin this for you Morrigan, but I guess I just have to.
Shadow Uppercut!" Shadows trailed behind him, as Johnny flew at
Morrigan with his elbow extended.
Morrigan quickly stepped to one side. Since she had been
standing next to the ropes, Johnny promptly landed outside the ring.
"What the... aww man."
"And it appears that Johnny has eliminated himself. Somehow
I'm not surprised." Daisuke suppressed a yawn.
Hiroshi nodded, "But here comes his partner to settle the
score."
"Johnny's score against himself? That'd be worth seeing."
"..."
Sofia ran to the ring and slid in. She quickly whipped
Morrigan, who squealed in delight. Sweatdropping, Sakura stepped
backward and let the two of them go at it until the next opponent
came out.
*whip*
*squeal*
*whip*
*squeal*
By the time Wolverine started charging his way to the ring, quite
a few of the male members of the audience had nose bleeds and were
being escorted off for first aid. Hiroshi looked ready to burst any
moment. Only the fact that one of his girlfriends would kill him after
the show kept him intact, "... Interesting tactic by Sofia."
"You mean pointless."
Wolverine jumped over the ropes and plowed right into Morrigan,
his claws blunt and extended. Sakura chose this moment to rejoin the
fray and drop kicked Sofia in the back of the head. Split up into two
on two action, the crowd started to cheer as powerful as they could with
their numbers and remaining strength after all the blood loss.
Sakura worked over Sofia in the corner. Sofia's head reeled,
she couldn't even get her whips up to strike back. As Sakura backed off
for a moment to catch her breath, Sofia stood wobbly. She raised a whip,
swinging it at Sakura with all her might.
Catching it, Sakura put all her leverage into it, yanking Sofia
out of the corner and towards the ropes. Sakura sprinted after her. As
Sofia turned to bounce off the ropes, Sakura gave her a running heel
kick that literally spun her over the top rope and onto the ground
below.
Before Sakura could turn even turn around, Yohko had entered
the ring and slammed both her hands into the back of Sakura's skull.
Meanwhile, Wolverine maintained the upper advantage against
Morrigan, slashing and kicking her around the ring. Finally tiring of
what she considered foreplay, Morrigan whipped around. Her cape sliced
into Wolverine like a knife in butter. While he hopped back a foot to
let his healing factor recover, she raised her hands into the air.
"SOUL ERASER!"
Dozens of bats emerged from her and formed into a giant
laser canon in her hands. She fired directly at Wolverine. He tried
to jump out of the way, but only got blasted out of the ring for his
efforts. Before the canon had even completely dissolved, an exploding
ace hit her full on in the face, causing her to stumble back.
"It's not nice to mess with my friends mon'chere." Gambit
stood with 3 charged cards held between his knuckles. "Wolvie may be
a pain from time to time, but Gambit hate to see him get beat up like
dat."
Meanwhile, Yohko stomped on a prone Sakura. Sakura's body began
to shut down from the punishment. She felt herself lifted by Yohko,
then she felt herself flying through the air. A flash of clarity hit
her, and she suddenly remembered the look on Ryu's face when Sagat had
one-punched him. She would never let herself be defeated when she should
be good enough to win. Never. 'I *AM* good enough to win.'
In mid-air, Sakura grabbed onto the top rope with one hand, managed
to slingshot herself under the bottom rope, back into the ring."
"AMAZING LADIES AND GENTLMEN! Sakura was almost eliminated
by Yohko! There's so much action, I'm almost speechless!"
"Almost. I knew it was too good to last. You might want to note
that this is it for our Gamma competition. These are the final four,"
Daisuke pointed out.
Meanwhile, in the ring Morrigan was trying to gain a solid
footing, being beat back again and again by Gambit and his barrage of
kinetically charged cards. Finally the onslaught slowed. When Morrigan
looked up Gambit was leaned over, huffing. "Dis be harder, than it used
to be, no?"
Morrigan stumbled forward. "Let me kiss you and make it better."
Reaching towards him, she grabbed him and planted one on him. The
nosebleed section of the crowd became just that. Gambit was too
winded to resist, and slowly felt his strength fade away. Morrigan
stood, fully revived, and grabbed Gambit by the scruff of his coat
with both hands. "You were good, but I've had better." She tossed
him out of the ring where he collapsed to the ground. After a moment,
he got up and limped to the back.
Sakura was holding off an angered Yohko. She was the better
fighter, but Yohko was fresh, and Sakura was definitely not. She
bode her time with evasive tactics until Yohko made a mistake. That
mistake came when Yohko gasped, surprised to see Morrigan coming up
behind Sakura, looking as fresh as a newborn babe.
Not noticing the shadow of the woman behind her, Sakura acted
upon Yohko and with a quick kick followed up by a fierce punch she was
flying out of the ring. Satisfied, Sakura turned to see a refreshed
Morrigan facing her.
"This is intense folks! It's come down to Morrigan and Sakura
for the final moments of the Rumble! All of Gamma played, and it's
down to these women to decide who will win the game!" Hiroshi
dramatized.
Grinning, Morrigan opened her mouth to speak, and got a mouth
full of a street fighting glove in reward. Sakura gave it everything
she had, every aching muscle gave just a little bit more. Morrigan fell
back under the assault, Sakura moved as fast as her body would allow.
There were too many blows for Morrigan to block. Finally, mustering
all her remaining chi into her hands, she cried out the name of her
ultimate attack. "SHINKUU HADOKEN!" Raising both outstretched palms,
multiple fireballs bigger than Sakura herself shot out of her hands at
a 45 degree angle, knocking Morrigan well into the air outside the ring.
Sakura plopped back down on the mat when her attack finished.
"I did it."
"OH MY LINA! SAKURA HAS WON! SAKURA HAS --"
"Wait a sec Hiro..." Daisuke pointed at Morrigan.
Falling towards the concrete below, Morrigan was quite dazed for a
moment. When she realized what was going on and where she was, she
quickly righted herself and stopped her descent with her wings a mere
few inches above the concrete. She flew back above the ring, "You
were saying? BALKI!" She extended her hands and fired a chi blast at
Sakura.
"Morrigan saved herself! What can Sakura do to stop this flying
foe!? How will she ever get her feet to touch the ground!? Lina only
knows!" Hiroshi took a large dose of the decaffenated coffee next to
him. "I can't take the pressure!"
Scrambling to get out of the way, Sakura rolled to the center of
the ring. Fireball after fireball came down at her. 'I can't take much
more of this,' she thought. 'Only one chance. Hope this works. All or
nothing.' Leaping out of the way of another fireball that tore into the
now rather charred mat, Sakura leaped into the air at Morrigan. Right
in front of Morrigan, she used the very last of her energy and executed
an aerial charge at Morrigan.
Caught off guard by the tactic, Morrigan plummeted toward the
ground below. Sakura caught onto the falling Succubus, and pushed
her body out in front of hers. With a *thwomp*, Morrigan landed on
the concrete, but Sakura landed on Morrigan on her hands. Rolling
into a ball and off of Morrigan from the impact, Sakura stood shakily.
"OH MY LINA! THE ODDS! THE ODDS! *WHEEZE*"
"Relax Hiroshi. And get your oxygen."
Controversal Jack walked down to ringside, and helped Sakura
back into the ring. "Well ladies and gentlemen, it appears that
Morrigan, Sakura, Shingo, and Mr. Satan will be fighting at
UltraRage Delta in the Ranma Saotome Memorial Tournament!" He
raised Sakura's arm in triumph.
Unbeknownst to them, Morrigan arose and rolled herself into
the ring. Due to the laws of fighting physics, Jack and Sakura
didn't hear the crowd all shouting their cries of alarm. Unfortunately
for them, Daisuke was busy getting Hiroshi to take his oxygen. Morrigan
stood shakily, but then got behind Sakura and slammed her into the mat.
"Tramp." She proceeded to kick the living hell out of Sakura.
Jack stood there stunned. "I..," began but he was cut off by a
sudden cheer from the crowd. He looked to the entrance, and there was
Mr. Satan! Mr. Satan was running down the entrance way! Shingo now
too! Shingo appeared and slid into the ring right behind Mr. Satan.
Jack's mad booking knowledge suddenly clicked and he high tailed it out
of the ring.
Hiroshi, now recovered, returned to his mic, "Lina help us!
Shingo and Satan are pulling Morrigan off of Sakura! But wait, they
seem to be arguing as well!"
Indeed, they were. So much so, that Morrigan clobbered Shingo
before they even remembered she was there. Mr. Satan advanced on her
when the crowd cheered once more.
"OH MY LINA! IT'S DAVID! AND GAMBIT! THERE'S WOLVERINE!"
Hiroshi was madly pointing at the entrance ramp.
Daisuke nodded, "Iori.. Chris.. and look. There's the Disciples
of the Void too. They must be there to back up their partner."
The ring was starting to fill with chaos as members of the
various stables filled the rings and started duking it out for either
pride or showing them what would happen at Delta when they met.
They were streaming out of the entrance ramp faster than
Hiroshi and Daisuke could count. Bean and Tifa, Ash and Misty
and a horde of pokemon. Team Rocket ran out, but no one would let
them into the ring. Yohko and Hsien-Ko ran and jumped the disciples
with the help of Iori. The not-so-noble samurai, Mai Shiranui,
noticeably missing Andy, and Mousse and Shampoo ran out as well.
Suddenly Sagat and Ken ran into the ring and started busting
heads quite effectively. Until Bean and Sagat paired off. Anyone
who got in the way of that, like poor Johnny Cage and Sofia, regretted
it. The Psycho Soldiers and Mai triple-teamed Ken outside of the ring.
"Oh the madness! Almost everyone is out here!" Hiroshi
looked around frantically as they were surrounded by chairs being
thrown around, not to mention the odd energy projectile.
Daisuke nodded, "We'd better be getting hazard pay!"
Jack's head popped out from under the table, "Not on your life!"
"... Damn."
The brawl continued on for a good many minutes, before Sakura,
Shingo, and Mr. Satan managed to manhandle everyone to at least outside
the ring. They stared each other down, yelling at each other to be the
first to back down and get out of the ring.
"What an amazing night ladies and gentlemen! I'm Hiroshi, for
Daisuke and Jack--"
"And Mr. Duck!" *squeak*
"... saying, Good Night! See you at UltraRage Delta!"
********
Sofia crawled back into her dressing room, her head still sore
from that accidental punch that Sagat had landed on her. She laid on
her couch, and looked up at the picture on the table. Softly she let out
a cry.
"Daddy! Where are you!"
********
Back in Heaven, Papa Hibiki laughed. "At least my loser son
won! What have you got to show for tonight?"
The blonde Russian male threw down his cards. "4 of a kind."
"Dammit."
Pantyhose Tarou walked in, and looked around for a moment. The
men in the room couldn't help but notice his lack of a halo. He paused
when he saw Papa Hibiki. "Aren't you Ryoga's uncle?"
Papa Hibiki stood and bowed. "Yes. You are Pantyhose Tarou,
correct?"
Tarou nodded.
Dan's father continued, "If you don't mind my asking, how exactly
did you get up here without dying?" He pointed at his own halo.
Scowling, Tarou answered, "I was making my escape from Kasumi's
little playground, otherwise known as the UltraDome, and I was so busy
congratulating myself at my cleverness that I ended up taking the
WRONG door. I don't suppose either of you know how to get back to
earth?"
Both men shook their heads.
"Dammit."
********
Akuma felt the cold snow around him. He slowly stood. Shaking
his head, he cursed the day Dan Hibiki had been born. That whelp would
pay. Just as soon as he made Devilot pay for what she had done to--
Then he noticed him.
Akuma damn near peed in his pants.
A brightly glowing, yellow haired Goku stood before Akuma. He
raised his fist. "No messing with the officials."
Akuma made a note of that briefly before he was rendered
unconscious by the most whupass he'd ever experienced in his life.
] [ ULTRA EPISODE 40 RESULTS/RECAP
] [ AKUMA finds an ICE CREAM MAKER THAT IS NOT A SIGN FOR AN EVIL LAIR
] [ DAISUKE and HIROSHI make up.
] [ DAISUKE stalked publicly.
] [ MEWTWO defeats MEGAMAN painfully and is now at 4/0
] [ KRILLIN is an official backup OMEGA ref.
] [ TEAM ROCKET defeats BISON's BUSTERS and is now at 5/5
] [ SEPHIROTH almost kisses B-KO, match a draw. no status change.
] [ T.G.L.S.C. DAN HIBIKI defeats SHIN AKUMA and is now at 7/12
] [ REI learns updated trashtalk.
] [ EVA-00/REI AYANAMI defeats VOIDUCK and is now at 3/2
] [ MARLO punks LILITH, no status change but title match tba.
] [ SAKURA wins ROYAL RUMBLE, is now at 10/3 and entered in
RANMA SAOTOME MEMORIAL GAMMA TOURNAMENT
] [ PAPA HIBIKI loses to SOFIA'S DEAD DADDY at poker, no status
change.
] [ PANTYHOSE TAROU lost in HEAVEN. Bring him back at your own
peril.
] [ AKUMA learns not to piss off the officials.
Author's Notes:
Well damned if that wasn't a lot of work. First off I'd like
to thanks 2F and David Tai for providing the notes for this episode
that I worked from. I used Tai's notes specifically for the Rumble.
As for scenes from other people... Fatman wrote the hilarious
Team Rocket fight, and Delfina wrote the B-ko/Sephy date as a last
minute request. Twoflower wrote the Marlo Interruption and the Life
in Hell scene. Everything else is mine, for better or worse.
David, Sean Givan, and Dan Wood all had to back out from the
original Ultra #40 due to real life reasons, but I'd like to thank
them anyway for at least they tried.
Prereaders... Delfina, LawrenceC, Illyria, Lurker, and Yoi.
Ardweden took out a lot of comma splicing and bad punctuation errors.
Go grammar girl! The commas of the world love you so very very much!
Probably more that I forgot too. Thanks for catching my flubs guys!
Particularly where the Eva sat on the Eva. ^_^;
As for plot considerations, much of what I did was to get ready
for the PPV. Hopefully no one takes exception of what I did with the
fatal three angles (Sofia's Dad, Tarou, and Akuma's quest). I really
do like my part though. I hope all of you do too. And btw, yes the
Dan match was my idea entirely. How could I write an entire episode
of Ultra without booking Dan? ^_^
And without further ado, the story of how I ended up writing
this episode.
***
Twoflower sat at his computer, jaw dropped. "Not again! We
have another skip! CURSE YOU RL! CURSE YOU!"
Real Life laughed at him. "BUAHAHAHA"
Twoflower slumped at his keyboard, typing to chat... "Losing..
will... to Impro. Need.. help."
The door slammed open. "FEAR NOT FELLOW DAN FAN!"
Twoflower looked up, eyes blinded by the light in the door.
"Dan!?"
The fellow in the pink gi sweatdropped. "No! Tis I!"
Twoflower peered. "Oh, hi ColdFury. I don't have time for
MvC2 right now. I have to write Ultra #40. Then the PPV."
Powerposing, ColdFury responded. "Fear not Twoflower! For
I shall right Ultra #40 for you!"
2F responded by giving CF a handful of paperwork, putting on
his hat, and picking up a suitcase marked 'Tahiti.' "Here you go!
Here's what I have so far, from Fatman and myself. Two things though.
Dan can't be in the entire episode. No Dan-Dan show. Just one fight."
"But.."
"No."
"What about.."
"No, you can't do an episode of nothing but WWF jokes either. Got
it?"
ColdFury sighed. "Yes TwoFlower. Can I banish Tarou though?
Twoflower thought about it. "Sure, why not?"
****
Thus Ultra #40 was born.
If you read this far, YES, I wrote Eva Unit-00's fight as a parody
of Rikishi of the WWF. Good for you.
And did you pick up the reference Jack made to Oklahoma? :)
4/9/00
-ColdFury