Chapter 1 revisions: (found in the author's note) (author's note posted after all of this)

The Lime warning goes here.....sorry,....my mistake


  ~  Chapter 1  ~

_... The first few days were the worst. I was so confused and hurt..._


 Akane groaned, the last thing she remembered was her hand stretching out towards her body. Thankfully, she had not seen it's state, but she had touched her fingers. AS she did so, the highway scene faded and blanked out.
 With contentment, she realized that she had reached her body. Feeling returned to her slowly, from her toes to her head. As it finally completed, she could've sworn she felt herself falling. If she had been given more time, she would have tried to see how she could've managed not to fall on her head, at least. A groan involuntarily escaped from her lips, the intense pain forced her out of her body again when she had impacted on the ground.


~~~

 Kodachi struggled from the horse as it reared its head. She let one out of her infamous laughs as she threw her head back in defiance. She looked at the people around her, none of them were that near to her and Ranma had been the farthest. She caught his gaze for a moment and smiled at what she saw there. Ranma rarely showed her any emotion at all. Lately it had been a challenge even for her to make him angry.
 As her hand slipped from the horse she let out a small gasp as she fell head first towards the grass. Her smile returned again, she was indeed rusty, but she still knew enough to know how to land on her feet. She started to twist around, when she was engulfed in a blackness that she could not identify.
 She shook her head from the suddenness of the change of background, it seemed she was amidst hundreds of bushes of roses. Black ones, the ones she so loved. She was about to pick up one of the blossoms when she heard a soft noise, so soft that she did not know if it was imagination or truth.
 "Kodachi," A soft voice called out from nowhere, and Kodachi narrowed her eyes at this. She looked around the garden but so no one.
 "How dare you sneak up on me." She called out trying to pin point the origin of the voice. "And what impoliteness. I am Saotome Kodachi-noh-Ranma a samurai of the Kisagi lineage, it is my right that I be called with the honorfic -sama and -san!"
 "I'm sorry."
 It was a simple statement, something Kodachi had heard almost everyday, and yet, something in the voice -- had it been sincerity? -- was something she hadn't. "Who are you?"
 "Here, it doesn't matter who I am." The voice said, and Kodachi's hand went to her head, she felt intense pain coming from there, but yet distant, as if it was not happening at all.
 "Do not talk riddles with me." She felt her head and winced it had started bleeding.
 "You are too worldly for your own good. Even now as we have separated you from your body, you remain attached to it, and cling as a leech does."
 Her head ached, it was pounding, pounding, she couldn't think straight. "You talk too much."
 "*You* were a mistake!"
 She almost let out a laugh. A mistake. Mistakes are meant to be eradicated. Usually.

~~~

 "Kodachi. Open your eyes, Kodachi." It was more of a demand than a request. It was a man's voice, and had been close to her ear, a hand on her arm. _Was he calling me Kodachi?_ She thought as she tried to open her eyes, as she did she felt pain on her head *again*. It had been another struggle to close it shut.
 _The accident..._ She remembered that, the cars, _Had I somehow survived?_ She very much doubted it. She knew she had died. She knew that for a certainty. _Then why do I feel alive? Surely heaven could not inflict so much pain, not leave her confused._   She moved her hand slightly, it seemed like moving caused her head all the more to pound, pound. She felt damp grass. _Grass? Does heaven have grass? Does...oh God no... hell have grass? Did the highway have grass?_ She couldn't remember and thinking made her head hurt more than ever.
 Suddenly she realized that she was cold, very cold, as a breeze touched her slightly, she suppressed a shiver, her head was already aching without adding shivers. _If I am in hell...then why is it cold? If I am in the highway... it was summer then and surely should be scorching hot. Heaven? I very much doubt it, they say heaven suppresses all worldly pains._
 She tried to speak but only one word came to her lips in her own language, "Cold."
 The man looked at her strangely then turned towards the others, "Get her a blanket," A man's deep baritone voice shouted.
 Dimly, Akane could hear the other voices who, she supposed had gathered around her while a hand gently shook her. She groaned at the gentle shaking, but the words to make the person stop would not come. Just thinking about who it could be or who it was made her head throb.
 She felt something heavy drop over her body. A blanket that smelled of hay and horses.
 "Look at her head," a man said his voice higher than the first.
 _Who were all these people? Where is she? Why is she confused? The pain she could now understand somehow she had lived through the accident -- Somehow._ Suddenly a wave of voices crashed over her, all talking on top of the other. She would have shouted if she could to make them realize that they were confusing her more than they were doing any good.
 Suddenly everything stopped, she was floating again, and when she opened her eyes, she didn't feel pain. "Where am I?"
 "In the void between consciousness and unconsciousness..." A singsong voice answered out of nowhere.
 Akane looked around, there was nothing to hide in the place, it seemed to be an endless blue, so where had that voice come from? "Who are you?"
 "Oops, sorry, forgot about that invincible thing. I always forget that." The person said as he -- it whatever began to materialize before her.
 When he finished, Akane blinked once, then another time. She pinched herself to be sure she was awake then took a deep breath, "You must be joking..."
 The angel -- well pig, that was in front of her held its head up indignantly. "I have been taking care of you for twenty five years now young lady..." He abruptly stopped at what seemed stopped laughter coming from her throat and raised an eyebrow -- well Akane thought it was the equivalent of raising an eyebrow.
 "Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that..." She smiled a little then patted the pig who, with its wings was flying about chest high.
 The pig sighed, "It's not my fault, you're the one who conjured up this scene, I didn't even know what I was supposed to look like." He told her sternly then continued, "As I was saying we are in the 'Betweeness' if you want to call this void something."
 "And why exactly are we in this 'Betweeness'?" Akane asked speculatively catching a cloud at her palms as it breezed by and shaping it.
 "For me to explain to you what you're doing here." the pig smartly said and went on a tirade of words, that Akane could only stare at openmouthed and wide-eyed. When he finished he looked at her and asked. "Well? I thought you'd be reacting to this much like that other woman-- oops, there I go again saying things I shouldn't have."
 "Would you run that by me again?" She asked, feeling a headache coming on, then proceeded to sit down at the space, surprisingly it held her there.
 "We don't have much time to do this." The pig muttered, "Just know that I am your guardian and that I will see to your safety."
 As he said those last words, the blue started to fade into black and pain started to return to her head, though as she returned, she had somehow understood the message that was sent to her. In the back of her shocked mind, the pig squealed and said, that she was not actually hearing the angels, but simply knew what they were saying.
 But what he said was so unbelievable that she had to shake her head to clear it, failing her purpose and causing another rush of pain.
 She was not aware of her surroundings yet, since she could only try to sort what was in her mind right now. But she had continued thrashing back and forth as if to stop that little black pig that continued to invade her mind. But despite that, the message came through and she understood.
 She now knew that she had died, and her unborn baby had died along with her. Her soul, though her body was indeed dead, was living in the body of another woman, and that she wasn't pregnant.
 And though she was living that other woman's pain, her mind and soul continued to live on. After realizing this, she was surprised that the pig actually managed to take out her fright and confusion of the whole ordeal.
 The voice suddenly stopped and she felt a hand that brushed her head, no inside her head, like a feather touching her, to erase her pain and the agony she felt over the massage.
 Akane then sat up straight and put a hand on her head, where it hurt the most, and felt something sticky. It was blood, she was sure of that, and it was a lot. She took a deep breath, which surprisingly didn't give her more pain and opened her eyes.
 "I'm hurt," She said to the man who hovered over her. She couldn't make out his features because he was against the sun, putting him in shadows.
 "I think you better call an ambulance, or the hospital at least.", she said, her voice, sounding...strange to her ears, deeper, throatier, as if she had a cold. "I'm hurt pretty bad." She was about to tell them about her baby, that she was scared for the life she carried, when she realized that there was no baby to loose. This woman was empty -- and she didn't know how right she was.
 It was then that she started crying, pouring the grief in tears of what she had lost, not only because of her baby, but because of her husband, of a life she knew she could not regain.
 It was a grief so violent that the people who surrounded her immediately started to try to calm her. Although the people, the angels, the pig, they were all there trying to soothe her, they could not fill the emptiness she had felt, as if they knew that this purging was necessary for her sanity.
 Akane wished she could stop crying, because each time she did, her body shuddered and caused waves of pain in her head. But even then, she could hear the voices, in particular the pig, trying to calm her.
 "Why's she crying like that for?" Asked a woman who could not hide that she was more irritated than concerned. "Probably because it hurts." said another man "At least she's awake." "When we first got her it looked like she was--"
 "Stop!" From the man who was closest to her, he barked out the order and it had been effective, they all were silenced, "We've got to get her to the house."
 As she felt herself being lifted by the man, quite easily, she noted, she also felt the sadness fade away replaced by an odd sense of exhilaration. Chemical imbalance, she thought as she held on tightly to his neck. The pain on her head was still heavy, but at least she was on a chemical high. Someone in heaven must be looking after her.
 After a while she said, "I can walk now," she told the man who was carrying her. "Besides I don't think you can carry me much further. The man gave her a sharp look bordering on anger. She saw him for the first time. He was handsome, very handsome. Dark hair, deep blue eyes--her favorite combination. But right now he had a deep scowl and his lips compressed so hard to see what their shape was.
 He looked at her for a minute, "Are you mocking me?" He asked her angrily, his head loomed above hers with an ominous look, "You know very well I can carry you to and fro with whatever you throw at me, running, or fighting my way through your tons of suitors."
 _Brash male arrogance._ Akane had always been independent and she was not going to break that now. "Honestly! Put me down. I'll lean on you, but this is ridiculous."
 He did not let her go as he started to walk on towards wherever he was headed. That had started to irritate Akane, "Will you please let me down?"
 The man glared at her then let her legs down, but kept his right hand along her back for support. When she hit the ground she felt shaky and immediately regretted her demands. "Just let me get my bearings." She said as the young man who helped her spanned in her vision, she tried to focus her eyes as she held her hand out for support.
 "I told you, you can't walk." he said sternly gripping her arm tightly, just as the world stopped spinning and she stared at the imposing man who had taken charge. He wore a red Chinese shirt and loose black pants that looked very Oriental. Glancing back at the people about she noted with surprise that they were all dressed in kimonos probably dating back to the 1600's as she recalled, Samurais from the two swords and the topknot. She looked at herself and noted that she too was wearing a long black kimono beneath a heavy cloak-like thing that damply clung to her. She wrinkled her brow which made her head hurt more.
 Looking back at the man, she raised her brows in surprise. "Wow, you're tall," she said without thinking. She was about five seven and was used to looking at all but the tallest men straight at the eye. Why, this man must be close to seven feet! She thought in wonder, then realized the problem.
 "You're not tall. I'm short!" she said with wonder. And I'm fat, she said patting her stomach and thighs that she could feel through the layers of clothes. "I'm going to have to start running and training again."
 The man was now looking at her as if she were an alien. Then he looked back at the group to see if anyone else had heard her. He looked relieved that they were clustered around the horse Kodachi had been riding when she took the fall. The horse had broken a led and would have to be destroyed, he thought with regret.
 Akane looked at what he was staring at and asked, "What's wrong with him?" The beautiful chestnut mare stood fifty yards away but was surrounded by people looking at its legs.
 "Congratulations, Kodachi, you just managed to do some of your favorite things -- degrade me in front of my samurai by deliberately disobeying me and hurt degrade me further by hurting one of the gifts our liege lord has given to us." The man's beautiful blue eyes hardened and Akane had the thought of ice when she met it, "It broke its leg. I told you not to jump her, I told you she wasn't ready. She'll be destroyed."
 "Oh, no...No." She said her head pounding, and she was aware she was slurring her words she turned to him and asked, "Can't you fix it? She's beautiful. Oh, the poor thing. That's horrible. I don't understand why horses have to be destroyed, they fix people's legs, heck even dog's legs. Why not horses?"
 The man rolled his eyes at her and said, "You have got to be kidding! You know better Kodachi. Don't pretend you're sorry for what you did and don't pretend sympathy. Stop trying to be what you're not. Or have you forgotten who you're talking to Kodachi?" He looked at her with something close to disgust and...what was that thing...hatred?
 "But I didn't do anything!" Akane protested without thinking as she looked at the man, pleading for him to understand her situation. She then had the odd floating sensation and the man's face wavered in front of her. "That must have been Kodachi, whoever she is." Why was this man calling her Kodachi? She must be Kodachi. Or the woman's body was Kodachi. This was too weird, she thought as she reminded herself to be cautious at what she did and say, until she could get out of this mess.
 Hearing the woman deny that she had anything to do with the horse injury apparently made the man angrier as he pulled her arm roughly and forced her to walk faster than she could've. She hardly could manage with the headache, she couldn't with the dress, and he was too darned fast. He led her off the grass and into the smooth dirt track, but she felt weird in the new body, and she found herself stumbling more than she would've liked. Her eyes started to blur with what she thought were tears, but she could see where he was taking her, to her right was a field, the tall grass shivering in the cold breeze, to their left were woods and the trees bare of leaves. Although she knew that it had been august and summer when she left she had a feeling it was late winter now. The air was sharp, but had a fecund smell as if things were beginning to grow. And she also knew they were close to the sea, for the familiar clean, salty smell was strong. As they turned the bend, Akane got her first glance of a huge house that was nestled behind high shrubbery. But as she tried to get more details of the house, her eyes lost focus once more.
 "Is that where we're going?" she asked. Her head pounded and she couldn't think straight, she suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over her, "I don't think I can make it that far without rest. This body is in rough shape and I don't feel so hot."
 He stopped and turned to look at her placing a hand on her forehead, "No, you're not feverish."
 "That wasn't what I meant. I meant I feel sick, bad, I feel funny. I..." She threw up and fainted.

 Ranma Saotome caught his wife as she slumped to the dirt. _That fall is making her act differently,_ he thought. He would have expected Kodachi to rant, rave and laugh that infuriatingly loud laugh of hers then rant on about not training the horse properly. She was just to damned cheerful taking into consideration what happened. He couldn't puzzle it out, and he didn't like it, wishing he could end this game she was playing. He couldn't understand her. As he carried her towards Rose Brier, he looked down at her face, she was starting to look old, and she was only twenty and five, he thought. Too much sake, the late nights, the ... indulgences she never seemed to refuse were catching up with her. The face he had married when he was twenty-two was gone, replaced by a harsh parody of that countenance. But he was not a fool enough to think she had changed in other ways. She was just as vile when she was nineteen as she is at twenty-five, except then Ranma had been arranged to marry to tie allegiance to the Kunos, the dowry of Rose Brier being a tactical advantage to his father, the fief they controlled even better.
 All of them had known nothing about the real Kodachi, nothing about what was inside her. Of course it hardly mattered, at a time when marriages were for the better of the Clan and he... well... he had been an advantage. In his more charitable moments, Ranma knew that few men would have been able to see through the charming well-bred young woman Kodachi had presented herself to be. No, he'd told himself more than once, she had not changed after the marriage. Just shown her true colors and those were black and gray, no wonder she was called the black rose. Holding her, he was taken back to the last time he ever felt affection for her--their wedding night.
 It had been a beautiful day, their wedding day, the sun bright in a cloudless sky, and Kodachi serene and lovely in a midnight blue wedding kimono.
 Six years later, Ranma still felt a rush of rage and shame when he recalled his wedding night. Just after they consummated the marriage she smiled at him and said, "I knew it, I knew you were as green as new grass."
 He had been confused at first then he realized what it was about, she wasn't a virgin. Hardly. She was experienced enough to know that he had lost his head and callow enough to remark on it. Embarrassed, ashamed and very angry, he was about to stand up and get dressed.
 "I wasn't a virgin." she said haughtily as she'd started to laugh.
 "I wouldn't remark on it if I were you, in this state Kodachi, I could very well order you to commit seppuku." He spat out as he left the bed. He was still her master.
 She continued as if she never heard him, knowing very well he could not, she was still needed for tactical advancement...and Rose Brier was hers. "Of course I'm not a virgin. But if you'd known that, would you have married me?"
 "I don't know. I might have." He said in a tightly controlled voice, inwardly cringing at his answer or that he *did* answer for that matter.
 "Well, it doesn't matter now. Thee marriage is consummated, so to speak. I'm going to sleep now." she'd said casually. He hadn't looked at her but it seemed as if Kodachi read his emotions and said. "Oh Ranma, really. Don't look at me that way. You're a big boy. You do know what marriage is about. Political Connections. Business. My brother, through me, made a business arrangement, so to speak. Isn't that how your sister works? I know you had yourself convinced that you were in love with me, but that's not the way of it, don't you see? Don't look so sad. Go to bed now and you'll realize how silly this all is in the morning."
 Although he had every right to order her out of his house, every right in their laws to take her head... he didn't. She was still useful to the Clan, her land that was protecting her, the support of the Kunos another.
 Over the years, he had learned the sordid story of her deceit. Before he met Kodachi, she was nothing more than a little whore, who would spread her legs to anyone who would have her.
 The foster mother chosen by her parents was a mistake, and their deaths at the War when she was five worsened her state. Her foster mother who spent more time gossiping than teach her proper behavior. When her brother caught her with one of the gardeners when she was seventeen, he gave her an ultimatum: Find a respectable man to marry or be forced to be left out on the streets *forbidden* to the right of seppuku which she will never earn. So that is what she did.

~~~

 After that disastrous night, it was just sex between Mr. and Mrs. Saotome and only when she used one of her potions. The last time they'd lain down together was four years ago. He was so disgusted with himself and filled with loathing for her and that laugh of hers that he did not know whether he wanted to kill himself or her.
 In the end he just ignored her. They appeared together socially, to keep up appearances, but only few people were fooled. Theirs was no loving relationship, not even a grudging friendship.
 His mother told him that he should get a consort for himself, and reminded him time and again that he was allowed but he refused completely even though he wished to have children and knew that with Kodachi for a wife, he would never have that for himself.

 He distinctly remembered the day that the head of the Saotome Clan had called him up to his donjon at the Kanto.
 "Ranma, my boy, I think six years of evading your fianc�es is far enough don't you think?" Happosai was a shriveled up old ghoul who still managed to sit aloofly on the silken cushions of the audience room when it was necessary.
 Holding the clan for nearly two centuries merited him a lot of things, and he had trained his eyes on this young one, who showed such great potential at becoming a leader. "I'm offering you an easy way out, my boy, I can strip you of all your fianc�es."
 Ranma was skeptical, although he didn't show it, for that would be impolite to his liege lord. His fianc�es were harder to get rid of than Happosai thought, he should know -- he spent six years trying. "I don't think so, sir. My fianc�es are... a lot and the only easy way out of it would be to commit seppuku."
 The old man's eyes flared at what his great-great-grandnephew suggested, he was still useful, "You are forbidden to commit seppuku on the matter of your multiple iinazukes!"
 There was a short pause, Ranma always asked for that every year as was his right to do so. And as always Happosai's response was just as vehement against it he had already decided that the women were not the boy's fault, "But I am dishonored, you can not have a samurai with much shame around sullying the Saotome name--"
 "I offer a simpler way out, the Lady Kodachi of the Kuno Clan is nineteen, at that age, she is ripe for the picking. Her dowry, Rose Brier, which borders on the Kanto Mountains and the shore of the Sea has great tactical advantage. It is easy to protect and a good place to keep meetings when we are pressed on our back with messengers we don't want."
 There was a short pause again, not one of the samurai surrounding them stirred though most knew the Lady Kodachi's infamous reputation, Ranma held a puzzled frown as he sneaked a peek at Happosai, "I don't see how marrying the Kodachi Kuno helps..." there was a pause, "It is rumored the woman us touched by the kami... she's crazy!"
 "She is also Christian, so I order you to convert at once!" The old man laughed as he patted the sword at his side, "Those priests have been meddling in our affairs too long and I still don't have a single Christian spy."
 Taken aback Ranma stared at Happosai openly now, ordered to be a Christian? With all their silly laws and doctrines... "In fact I have ordered your sister Nabiki to convert at the same as you do as well." ...Ranma gulped, Nabiki was ordered as well, the Old Man's mind was moving again. _What can he be up to?_
 "But taking Kodachi won't solve all your problems." The old man cringed, as if he remembered something foul, "She is a rotten one, that girl, and not as virtuous as she seems. But ... you are given a choice after all. But that rotten attitude of hers will keep *all* the girls away."
 "Besides, if you marry her I'll increase your fief to twenty ri around Nerima, which will include Rose Brier at that stretch."
 The old man gave him a few days to think, but it was obvious that the matter had been decided even before he was called out to the donjon to see the Old Man, that decision would doom him forever, a few days later Kodachi was his bride.

 He was bitter, but he had convinced himself that he was happy as he was ever going to be with his life.
 The only comfort he had was the Art. Thank God for that, he'd thought more than once. Unlike many of his fellow samurai, whose wives held the purse strings and had little to do with the family fortune, Ranma was the one who did *that* part of the marriage as well, with help from Nabiki of course. He could do without family life. Lots of men did.
 Without warning, the image of his sister, Nabiki and her and two children leaped into his head. Nabiki had just been as unlucky as he was, after a miscarriage and giving birth to a son, her husband had sent her back to the Clan after hearing of her supposedly disloyal actions.
 She lived with him now, Kodachi usually far away to bother both of them. He was thankful for Nabiki and her son's company though. If not for them, he would be far more bitter and lonelier than he already was.
 Ranma's arms weren't a bit tired as he had told Kodachi when he reached the house. Sasuke met him at the door. The short ninja was a kuroki, protector (which Sasuke would like to think and Ranma made him do so, even if he honestly didn't need one), and a man who had a fierce loyalty and respect for his employer.
 The stealthy ones as a rule was never employed by upstanding men, they were treacherous and deceitful most of the time, but the Kunos felt that a ninja would keep Kodachi at bay most of the time and would keep track of her actions better than any other samurai could. Ranma had petitioned up the case to Happosai who shrugged and agreed to let Ranma keep him as long he keep the true nature of the short man to himself and to some chosen people.
 He raised his eyebrow when he saw the blood on Kodachi's head, though didn't offer to take Ranma's burden, because doing so would be discourteous and be offending.
 "She fell from the horse," he said as he went towards the upper rooms. "It had to be destroyed." And for a moment, just a moment, Sasuke wasn't sure whether Ranma meant the horse or his wife.
 Ranma, followed by Sasuke, brought Kodachi to her room and deposited her on her futon with as much emotion as he would have, had it been a sack of flour. She tossed her head of dark curls and moaned as she again opened her eyes. The man from the field was standing back, his arms crossed as he looked down with no emotion.
 "I fainted," she said, as she looked around taking in the frills, the bleakness and darkness of the room, and the pink trimmed, gold furniture, "I don't mean to be critical, but this is the ugliest room I have ever seen in my life," she said with characteristic bluntness. "And stop looking at me as if I were crazy every time I open my mouth! Honestly! Don't you think I can say something about this ugly room? You should never hire the people who did the d�cor."
 She then shut her mouth as she realized the design might have been done by one of the men standing in front of her, and wisely kept her mouth shut, for once.
 "Kodachi, you've suffered a blow to the head and obviously it's affecting you. I am simply reacting to an overwrought wife."
 "Wife!" _My God,_ Akane thought, this is worse than I imagined.

~~~

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 and the book I based it from Which is When there is Hope, and if you sue me you can't possibly get money from me.
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