Here's part two for your delectation. All forms of C+C, public, private or MST3K are welcomed.
LE PLUS CA CHANGE...
Just Another Ranma fanfiction
By Dave Menard
Part Two
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: The original characters and situations
were created by Rumiko Takahashi-megamisama, I'm just playing
in her cursed pools...
**********************
Once upon a time, there was a man who was a martial
artist. He met a girl, (well, several girls actually, but he
only married one of 'em) and they had beautiful daughters
together.
They loving couple had ten happy years together. One day,
however, his beautiful wife got sick, and, after a time, she
passed away. This sad turn of events greatly affected the
once-happy man. Where once he was stoic and rash, he became
emotionally fragile, a shadow of the great warrior he once
was. But his daughters were a comfort to him, and so he
survived her loss.
There came a time when his daughters were almost grown,
and he began to think of their futures. For the oldest his
heart held no fear, since she was, to his mind, the perfect
young woman, the very spit and image of his late wife. For his
youngest, however, he worried.
She was headstrong and fierce, and refused to listen to
her father and become a traditional woman of their clan. She
would, he felt, have a very tough time of things if he did not
act to protect her interests and get her a good husband. (He
thought this because he was, after all, Japanese, which
implies a certain amount of sexist piggery.)
Thus, he contacted his oldest and dearest friend, a man
with whom he had endured countless trials and tribulations.
The man's friend had a son, who was possibly the greatest
martial artist of his generation. Who better to marry his
daughter? And so a marriage meeting was called. (Although the
man, being fairly cunning, and fond of having his head
attached to his neck, did not inform his daughters of this
fact until it was too late for them to flee)
The man's name was Ranma Tendo. And as to the outcome of
that marriage meeting, well...
**************************************
"Daddy, why are there pigs in the garden?" Sachiko asked
impatiently. The filthy beasts were getting hoofprints all
over her freshly raked gravel!
"Yeah, Pop, that one's got me beat too..." Lonko
deadpanned. The errant porkers had _something_ to do with her
baka father's idiot plan to marry one of them off, she was
sure...
Ranma himself was a little confused. What with the
earlier cloudburst, he had expected perhaps _one_ visitor of
the porcine persuasion, but two? He walked out into the
garden, carefully keeping to the stepping stones. Approaching
the slightly smaller of the two beasts, an enormous black pig
sporting a yellow and black bandanna, he cleared his throat
hesitantly.
"Uhrm, You wouldn't be..?"
The beast seemed to nod, before producing a wooden sign
from nowhere that read:
"Yep, It's me, Ryoga Hibiki. Sorry about your garden..."
Ranma beamed. "Ryoga, my friend. How've you been?!" He
clapped the oinker on the haunch. "Akari's been feeding you
well, I see!"
Both Tendo daughters goggled.
"Daddy, do you mean to tell me that this... This ANIMAL
is your 'old friend'?!" Sachiko paused, as a realization sank
in. "That wild boar over there had BETTER not be..."
The boar in question held up his own sign.
"Kobuta Hibiki. What's the problem?"
Sachiko fainted dead away. Lonko, for her part, merely
stared, mouth gaping.
"P-pop? I ain't marryin' no pig..."
The boar blinked quizzically and held up a sign. "So
what's wrong with pigs?"
Lonko joined her sister on the ground.
"Hmm..." Ranma muttered. "_That_ went better than
expected..." The large black pig nodded in agreement.
*********************************
Sachiko awoke to the pleasant sensation of a cool cloth
being tamped across her forehead by someone with a very gentle
touch. Her eyes still closed, she murmured, smiling.
"Ooh, that's nice, Lonko... I had the weirdest dream. I
dreamed father was planning on marrying one of us off to a
pig. Isn't that silly?"
"Er, yeah, real silly..." A masculine voice answered.
Sachiko's eyes shot open. She was in her room, on her bed, and
most importantly, a handsome boy was looking down on her, a
mix of concern and embarrassment on his face. He had thick,
coarse brown hair with a pale blonde streak slightly off
centre in his bangs. Some kind of birthmark, maybe? His eyes
were dark brown, almost black, and held an abiding warmth so
comforting that Sachiko felt herself drawn into the twin
chestnut pools. He smiled shyly at her scrutiny, a hint of
sharp canine poking over his bottom lip, a touch of scarlet
colouring his cheeks.
"Uh, hi..." He said, tugging nervously at the yellow and
black bandanna tied cowboy-style around his neck. "You okay,
miss?"
Sachiko blushed, suddenly hyper-aware of the boy's
proximity. Slowly, she backed away and sat up at the same
time, gaining a little breathing room.
"Hi yourself..." She said softly, smiling. "I'm Sachiko,
pleased to meet you. And you are..?"
The boy blinked. "Didn't I already introduce myself? I'm-
"
He was cut off as the door to the room was flung open,
revealing Lonko. She took in the scene and smirked.
"Well, well... The sleeping princess finally wakes up,
eh? Prince Charming here give you a big ol' smooch?"
"What?! No!" Both teens chorused, looking frantically to
each other for confirmation. "Nothing happened, honest!"
Lonko cocked an eyebrow. "Well, that's as may be,
lovebirds, but I need to borrow my sister for a moment.
Sacchi, c'mere."
"Now wait a minute, Lonko, I was just-"
"I said c'mere!" She reached over and yanked her sister
to her feet and out the door in a flash, sliding the door shut
behind her, leaving a very confused boy in her wake.
***********************
Lonko finally dropped her sister once she was sure they
were out of earshot of the boy.
"Lonko, what was THAT all about?! I was just about to-"
"Just about to step in a big pile of it, you mean. That
boy is a pig!"
"Tsk. Honestly, you're such a tomboy, Lonko. Not ALL boys
are pigs..."
"No, you baka! I mean _really_ a pig! Cripes, are you
really such an airhead you don't remember what made you faint
in the first place?"
"Hey! There's no need to be insulting! I remember
perfectly well! We were in the dojo, Daddy had just said
something about an old friend of his..." Her voice trailed
off. "Oh my god! OH MY GOD!!!"
"Aha." said Lonko with a smirk. "Now do you understand?"
"Yes!!! I left the rice cooker on! Dinner will be
ruined!!!"
Lonko picked herself up from the floor and tried again.
"No, woodenhead! I meant the fact that Pops wants one of us to
marry a pig! An honest-to-kami, big as life and twice as ugly
pig!"
"Huh? Then I wasn't dreaming..."
"Oh, man, I wish we BOTH were. Pop has gone off his
rocker for sure!"
"Okay... One thing at a time, Lonko." Sachiko took a deep
breath and composed herself. "What does all this have to do
with that cute boy in my room?"
"Geez, hormone-case! Pay attention, I'll take it slowly.
Nod if you follow me." Sachiko nodded. "Good. The boy." Nod.
"The cute boy" Another nod. "The cute boy in your room."
Further nodding. "The cute boy in your room turns into a pig."
A blink, another, then...
"Lost me."
"Aaaarrrgggh!!! Look, I saw it with my own eyes! Pop
emptied a kettle over the big hairy pig's head, and it turned
into that boy!"
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"Would I make something this dumb up?!!"
"You have a point. Still, why on earth world Daddy want
one of us to marry a... What do you _call_ a pig that turns
into a boy, anyway? A werepig?"
"Who knows?" Lonko said dismissively. "Who cares? All I
know is Pop's gonna answer a few questions..."
The two scrambled downstairs into the living room in
search of their father.
**************************************
In the frilly pink and kawaii nightmare that was
Sachiko's room, the boy scratched his head pensively. What a
strange family... Nothing like his own happy one. He smiled to
himself as he thought back to peaceful days on the family
farm/dojo. He looked out the window at the setting sun. Right
about now, he'd be mucking out the pens and setting up for the
animals' evening feeding. Mom and Dad would be working hard
right alongside him. He sighed happily. Then, after dinner, it
would be time for sparring with Dad, which was just as
enjoyable, but in a different way. Then, if he wasn't too
tired, and it wasn't a school night, he could hike over to
their nearest neighbour's house and hang out with Achika, if
she was there. She split her time between her folks' place
(wherever that was) and her grandfather's home. She wasn't
always around, but he fondly remembered playing with Achika
and her big sister Mayuka growing up. Their Gramma always made
the best toys. Plus, it was pretty cool having a friend who
owned a spaceship.
He looked around the room casually, trying to discern the
personality of the inhabitant by it's contents. Some idol
singer posters, a Datalink terminal at a small desk, about
like the one he had at home. A vast collection of Sanrio
characters oddly devoid of Hello Kitty merchandise... Not
exactly the type of room he expected for a martial artist.
There were no weight sets, no training manuals. All in all, it
looked pretty much like a real girly-girl's room. He twiddled
his thumbs, bored already.
At least the girl herself was cute. Mega cute. Cute face,
cute brown eyes, cute pigtail (gotta love those), she even
looked cute when she slept. Didn't look like much more than a
bit of fluff, though. No muscle tone, for one. How good a
fighter could she be?
The older girl, Lonko, seemed more his speed, but
she'd already made her opinion clear on the matter. If she
didn't like pigs, she wasn't the girl for him. Besides, she
seemed so... coarse, he supposed was the word. Being a strong
woman didn't preclude femininity, as his mother proved.
Well, he thought, I'd best make a good impression on
Sachiko. He stood up and took a deep breath. Time to pull out
all the stops and turn on the ol' Hibiki charm...
***********************************
He found his father seated at the table, across from his
host and his host's daughters, both of whom were scowling
fiercely. Kobuta essayed a smile at Sachiko, but she merely
deepened her scowl and looked away. Aw, man! he thought. What
happened? We were getting along so well...
A palpable silence hung over the room. Kobuta coughed
into his hand as he sat down next to his father.
"So, what'd I miss?" He smiled. It went over like a lead
balloon with the Tendo daughters, although their father
attempted a reassuring smile.
"Well, now that we're all settled," Ranma said, a tone of
forced joviality suffusing his voice, "I believe proper
introductions are in order. Ryoga, Kobuta, may I present my
daughters. Lonko, she's nineteen-" Lonko nodded warily, never
breaking eye contact with Kobuta. He began to sweat. "-and
Sachiko, aged sixteen." Kobuta attempted a pleasant smile,
that froze on his face when Sachiko hhmphed and looked away.
Ryoga heaved his bulk to his feet and bowed formally from
the waist at both daughters. "I am Ryoga Hibiki, and this is
my son, Kobuta. He's seventeen." Kobuta bowed.
"Your hospitality honours us greatly, Tendo-san." Kobuta
intoned formally, his father beaming with pride. Ranma nodded
and smiled, gesturing for them to sit down.
"No need to be so formal now, everyone! We're practically
family... So, Ryoga... Why don't we leave these kids alone to
get to know each other, while we catch up?"
"Great idea!" Ryoga nodded, before leaning over and
whispering in his son's ear. "Now, son, remember. One of these
girls is going to be your future wife, so be a gentleman." he
said firmly. Kobuta nodded. "Good." Ryoga straightened to face
the girls. "Well, It was a pleasure meeting you two. I'm
looking forward to getting to know you both better."
The two fathers left, leaving the three teens seated
around the table.
The Tendo girls stared at their suitor. He started
sweating harder.
"So... Uh... Gosh..." He cudgled his brain, desperately
seeking an opening line. What would Mom say? he thought
frantically. She's so polite and well-mannered... He
plastered a big, friendly smile on his face. "You girls are as
pretty as a couple of pigs!"
It didn't go over as well as he'd hoped...
**********************************
TO BE CONTINUED.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Allyn, Esa and the rest for
all the helpful C+C on the first chapter. This chapter was
written in it's entirety while waiting for the new X-Men Movie
trailer to download, which says less about my writing speed as
it does about the speed (or lack thereof) of my modem.
Here Endeth The Lesson.
Spa Fon!
-------------------------------------------
Dave Menard
Keeper of Pink's Hammer of Vengeance
Knight of the Combat Fiancees
Member of the Space Pirates Guild
http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
"I would not, could not kill the King... I would not poison Anything!"
--Green Eggs and Hamlet