Just a few quick notes!
I didn't see any major spelling/punctuation errors, so I'll just go
straight to the content. I do admit I was slightly put off by the title,
but your note was well placed and I read on. The depth and vivid portrayal
of Nabiki was refreshing to read. Your story contained several things
which usually put me off, ie: new characters, takes place outside of
canon, but it was amazingly solid writing and I read the whole thing. I
was suprised not to see a younger Kuno in action, indeed the lack of major
martial arts action made this seem like a shoujo with a very
unconventional main character. The attention to detail was exacting and I
appreciate that. No mention of the new uniforms they have to wear as high
schoolers? Did Kasumi go to Furinkan as well? Akane came off a little 2D,
but I have to admit a bias there. The ending was a bit abrupt, and I have
to admit I see Nabiki using the "look, it's the goodyear blimp" instead of
the swift kick to the nether regions. Or what she used against Ranma,
"I'll scream..." Kicking him right off seems a little tactless, and Nabiki
is anything but.
Regardless, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. :)
Colleen
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ODP: http://dmoz.org/profiles/minty.html