The Problem with Angels (A Dirty Pair X-over spamfic)
By: Slacker (r_heins@yahoo.com)
****************
Tycho Station
The stationmaster was not a happy man. The reason
for his unhappiness was obvious: his station was
being turned into so much scrap.
"Why did they send THEM? I just reported some
panty thefts. Why did they send THEM?" He whined. A
sudden boom right outside his office produced a
whimper. The sudden silence after that produced a
terrified shudder. He waited. No more explosions. No
sound at all. He slowly opened his door and looked
out. <Oh, my God.> He thought, in shock. The station
was trashed. <Where are they? There!>
There, indeed. Two women, one with red hair, one
with black, both wearing their trademarked battle
bikinis. The Lovely Angels. (At least to their face.
You didn't call them the OTHER name unless you had a
deathwish.) Kei had the reason for their visit in her
hand, a small male (at least it was assumed it was
male. Most females didn't shout "Sweeto!" and glomp
onto your chest) named Happosai. At least, that was
what Kei and Yuri had screamed at him when they were
trying to kill him. The stationmaster thought it was
a name. He edged closer, trying to hear what was
being said.
"Where is it! Where is the Kaisufuu! Where is it,
you perverted bastard!" Kei was screaming as she
frisked the two foot tall...thing.
Yuri wasn't looking much happier. She was going
through the sack that Happosai had been carrying.
"Panties, panties, panties, bra, bra, teddy, panties.
Geezus, this is really embarassing."
"Come on, Ranma. What's wrong with the way you are
now?" Happosai asked.
<Ranma? Who the hell is Ranma?> the stationmaster
wondered.
"Either you give it to use or you'll really regret
it." Kei growled.
"Oh, and what will you do? Cover me in honey and
lick it off? Please? I've been a bad boy." Happosai
retorted.
Kei shuddered and said, "No, I'll just take you
back to Earth and give you to Taro. He's gotten
better." Kei grinned the evilest grin the station
manger had ever seen.
Happosai turned white. "Taro? He's still alive?
Oh, damn."
"'Nyannichuan.' Spring of drowned YOUNG girl. None
of us have aged. And being stuck as a girl for 150
years hasn't made Taro very happy with you. Now, where
is the Kaisufuu?" Kei asked in a menacing voice.
"I don't believe you. You're bluffing. I..."
Whatever he was about to say was cut off by Yuri's
triumphant "YES!!"
Kei's head snapped around. "You've found it?" She
asked in an anxious tone.
"I found it. Let's get some hot water." Yuri
answered, holding up something the stationmaster
couldn't make out.
"Umm, maybe we should wait until we get back on
the Lovely Angel, hmmm? I don't think these bikinis
would look very good on our other forms."
"Ohh, yeah. What do we do with him." Yuri asked
with a disgusted nod at Happosai.
"We take him with us. Taro wants to talk to him."
"Oh, that's going to be fun to watch." Yuri said
with a feral smile.
"Yeah, it will, won't it?"
The stationmaster sighed in relief as the Dirty
Pa-LOVELY ANGELS, don't even think that name when
they're around!, walked off with their prisoner still
clamped in Kei's fist. <What do you know, the
station's still in one piece. That's a bonus.>
As they walked off, the stationmaster heard Yuri
ask "Hey, we gonna tell Kuno about this?"
Kei replied, "Hell no! He deserves to stay like
that, at least for a while longer. How the hell he
managed to get hit with the only sample of
Akanenichuan, I'll never know."
"Yeah, I agree. You know there's one good thing
about being stuck in this body that I'll miss."
"Oh, what's that?"
"I never get lost."
"Good point, pig-boy."
"Don't call me that!"
********************************
Author's loud-mouthed piece:
Ok, so I was bored and I was looking at a picture
of Kei and Yuri. As I was drooling, I mean, studying
the picture, I said to myself, "You know, Kei looks
like Ranma's girl form." I thought nothing of it. Then
I read "Here We Go Again" by Christopher "God-Boy"
Angel. And an evil seed was planted. The seed grew as
I wrote other fics, and finally blossomed into
maturity and grabbed my brain in a stranglehold. I
tried to fight it off, but I couldn't. So I finally
said "The heck with it!" and here it is.
Ja Ne!
Slacker
=====
Always listen to experts. They'll tell you
what can't be done, and why. Then do it.
--Lazarus Long
I am...(Drumroll, please)...Slacker!
KSC, Knight of Discordia, Lord of Discord
Member of the Church of Ami & Makoto
"All Hail Eris! Eris All Hail! Hail, Hail! Hail, Yes!"
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