-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: owd08.txt
DISCLAIMER: I'm Ranma Saotome; sorry 'bout this.
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Ranma 1/2: "Our Wedding Day" pt. 8
by Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
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"Are you sure you want to go to work, Ko-chan?"
Ranko smiled painfully at Nabiki while buttoning her blouse.
"Of course, Biki-chan. I shouldn't let our personal lives
interrupt work."
"That's why it's always a bad idea to date co-workers - and
especially your boss."
"Oh?" Ranko remarked. "And who was advocating I date him?"
Ranko stood up, admiring her image. Blouse and jeans, hair
brushed straight.
"I wasn't. In fact - " Nabiki's brows met. " - can I have a
shot at him? He *is* quite a hottie for an older man."
Ranko turned to face her, her eyes lit in warning. "Ono-sama
is mine," she stated in a voice unlike her own.
Nabiki's eyes widened and she leaned back. "I was only
offering to get him out of your hair."
"No, thanks, Biki. I can take care of him."
"Okay. My offer still stands."
"We'll see what happens."
Ranko went downstairs and paused long enough to hug Akane.
"Thanks for everything, oneechan."
"Don't let it bother you," Akane replied, hugging her back.
"And you should consider giving him another chance."
She nodded, swinging around and heading out the door.
Ranma wrapped his arms around Akane. "I want to go back and
pound him."
"She needs to work it out on her own, darling. We can't
fight her battles," Akane remarked as she held his arms.
<And you don't need to go do heroic things with a beautiful
girl who's on the rebound when you have a wife at home,> she
thought pettily.
"But ... " he let the thought hang, knowing that the
Warrior's Code was right; a person's personal battles were
their own.
But he could *want* to help ...
* * * * * * * * * *
"Oh, well, at least you're not related to Ranma," Sayuri
chirped.
"Or Jiro!" Kikuko added helpfully.
Yuka shrugged. "Mama-chan always called my father a lecher,
but I guess he was the wrong one."
"One good thing, though," Sayuri remarked.
Yuka looked at her curiously. "What?"
"You don't have Ranko as a sister. She could do to your
boyfriend what she just did to hers."
"If I ever get one," Yuka pouted.
"What about Ryoga?" Sayuri wondered. "Isn't he available now
that he isn't chasing after Akane?"
Kikuko shook her head. "I hear he's living with the weird
Chinese girl at the Nekohanten with their baby."
"Really?" the other two asked.
Kikuko grinned. "Teasers are free. Five hundred yen for
details."
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko entered the clinic and grounded herself. She wasn't
going to erupt into an emotional maelstrom this time. Nope,
not at all.
Doctor Tofu appeared in the hallway, using a cane this time
with only a few bandages now.
"I see you got over your Kasumi-attack."
He nodded, his mouth in a straight line. "I'm seriously
investigating an anti-attack medication."
"That would be good for you."
"Why are you here?" he asked at last.
"We mustn't let our personal feelings interrupt our
professional relationship."
"Good plan. Can we just be business associates then?"
"Yes," she settled at the desk. "Do we have anyone in the
clinic right now?"
"A young man was admitted here this afternoon; fainting
spells."
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes, his mother is sitting with him. He is refusing his
medication - "
Ranko became very interested. "Sounds very familiar. Would
his name happen to be ... oh, what was it? ... Ah, Densuke?"
"Yes. Do you know this boy?"
"Niichan and I had an encounter with this particular
parasite a few months back. Tried to take advantage of our
female form, but Niichan was too nice to pummel him."
Tofu cocked his head, now very interested. "I think a
collegue of mine mentioned a case involving a rather
perverted young man always glomping onto nurses ... "
"Bwee-hee-hee!" she chortled. "Oh, I *have* to have some
fun! Tofu-sensei, do you have a supply of medical uniforms
available somewhere?"
"Back room."
Ranko brushed by him, grinning evil and oozing sexiness. He
stared after her, awed by her many faces; cute, feminine,
shy, playful, temptress. Especially that last one in his
dreams. He was looking forward to exploring all her
mysteries and faces through the years ...
If he could ever get her to trust him again.
He was brought out of his thoughts when the back room door
opened, revealing Ranko in a just-too-tight nurse's uniform.
The naughtiness rating was raised with white fishnets and
white stiletto heels. The tightness made the absence of a
bra all-too-evident.
Tofu allowed his jaw to drop, too surprised by this
apparition.
"Oh, good," she murmured in a low voice. "The effect I
want."
She swayed past him, causing his eyes to follow her pushed-
out behind and the slight bounce in it. If he had been ten
years younger, there would have been a serious nosebleed.
Ranko lay a stethoscope around her neck and entered the room
where the perverted teenager lay.
"Konban wa!" she stated sunnily (complete with sparkles and
flowers around her).
The blonde bishonen boy took in the figure for a silent
moment, then his eyes widened.
"BWAAAAAAAAKKKKK!!" he crowed.
"Oh, young, er, lady!" his mother cried. "He refuses to take
his medicine unless a pretty nurse gives it to him! My son
is such a pervert, WAAAAAAHHHHH!!"
Ranko couldn't help but stare in horror at the distinctly
unappealing (to put it mildly) person who was Densuke's
mother. <Gods, I hope he's not related to Ichiro,> she
thought to herself. <Papa-san would have to have been drunk
as a goat to take this thing to bed.>
"Don't worry," Ranko smiled brightly. "I'll make sure he
takes it. Now, just go in the lobby and refresh yourself.
I'll take care of your handsome son."
<A pretty girl called Densuke 'handsome'? There's some sort
of cosmic irony somewhere,> the mother thought, but she left
anyway.
"Have you come to torture me?" he asked fearfully.
Ranko slipped up to the side of his bed, leaning close to
him and running her finger over his forehead.
"I work for Tofu-sensei, silly." She tapped the end of his
nose. "And I'm not going to fall for your crude tricks,
cutie-pie."
He gulped. She snapped on a pair of rubber gloves, then
upturned the glass of water next to his bed over herself.
Ranko-kun grinned, a sadist drag queen if there ever was
one.
"Oh, yes," he hummed. "We're going to have some fun,
Densuke-baby."
Miles away, the scream of unholy terror caused people to
quake in fear.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga and Shampoo were taking Conditioner out for a walk in
the warn night air, holding hands while the baby gurgled in
Shampoo's carrier. The moon shone brightly over Nerima,
making the city haze glow and flesh appear ethereal in the
darkness.
"Ryoga?" Shampoo asked.
"Yeah?" He squeezed her hand.
"{I've been thinking about what you said ... about staying
even if I treat you like Mousse.}"
He shrugged. "I thought about what's going on with us. I
still don't know about the future. Hell, I don't know
anything."
"{What do you know?}" she asked softly.
He took a deep breath. "I like being with you. I like you. I
like the baby. I like working with you. I like hearing you
breathe while you sleep, and I like waking up and seeing you
sleeping. I would just sit on the bed next to you and study
your face, tracing over it in my mind. I like talking with
you. I like sparring with you."
Shampoo nodded, caressing his face with her hand.
"{I like everything about you - how you look when you get
confused and how you're gentle with the baby. How you smile
when I look at you and how your eyes glisten in moonlight
like now. I even like your snoring. I felt so alone when you
weren't in my room last night.}"
"I should have been in there. You should never be alone."
They stopped, gazing in the other's eyes.
"{You should never be alone, either, my love.}"
He wiped his eyes, feeling the wetness down his cheeks.
"You're too good for me."
"{I love you too much to have you any other way.}"
Ryoga felt his heart beating, holding her face in his hands.
"I love you, Shampoo. I love you, I love you with all my
soul. I can't live without you, and I know it now. You make
me happy."
She felt the tears spill over her lids and she held him
tightly, kissing his face. "(I know I need you, Ryoga. I
love you with all my being.)"
"I - I don't know what kind of husband I'd be. I get lost
constantly. I have to take medication every day or I become
violent and unstable. I've never had a formal education. I
don't know how I'd support a family. And I turn into a pig
whenever I get wet."
"(I've got the restaurant. We can work on everything else.)"
She smiled, her smile illuminating the darkness for him.
"(Do you want to be my husband, Ryoga?)"
He nodded. "Yes. But - I don't want to fight you."
"(Not necessary - that law was for particular circumstances.
Other circumstances apply.)" she kissed him gently. "(We
need one Amazon witness to make the wedding legal by Amazon
law. When Rose Petal returns, she can be the witness.)"
"Um, Shampoo-chan?" he asked nervously. "I - want to wait -
until our wedding night. Before we - you know. Do you mind?"
<YES, you blithering ninny!> "(Why, Ryoga?)"
"I - want my first time to be special. That's all."
<'First time'?? I suspected it, but still - it is a bit of a
shock.> She nodded. "(As you wish.)"
She looked at Conditioner. "(What about you, little one? Do
you approve of my mate?)"
"Gurgle," Conditioner replied.
Shampoo nodded. "(I think he approves.)"
"Bwee," a trenchcoat-wearing-pig commented in a sinister
fashion, spying on the couple from a dark shadowed alley. It
spun around and ran to report the bad news to his mistress.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko-kun stepped out of Densuke's room, allowing the boy to
attempt to recover from the thorough enema and various other
body cavity cleanings (not to mention the shaving). He
didn't care for such things, but they had to be part of the
routine. May as well put in some practice.
"That'll teach that little hentai to drug a girl and drag
her to a hotel room," he chuckled.
Doctor Tofu looked up, smirking. "He tried that with Ranma?"
"With me, actually. I woke up to find myself in Ranma's
body, clad in a hotel robe, and him about to do nasty,
perverted things to helpless, innocent me."
He couldn't hold the laugh in any longer and burst into
gaffaws.
"What's so funny?" Ranko-kun asked severely.
"I'm really sorry, but saying that in your current state ...
that's a little hilarious."
He looked down and giggled at the image of her male form in
such a situation.
"You win on that point, Tofu-sensei. I'm going to have a
snack; any place okay?"
"One of the rooms. I need to work on some files in my
office," Tofu replied. He relaxed, seeing (s)he was in a
better mood. Perhaps he could apologize again later,
explaining his past. Start over.
Ranko-kun passed him and picked up a warm kettle from the
coffee warmer. He disappeared in the back.
"Doctor Tofu?" Densuke's mother appeared.
"Oh, yes. He's been through some ... therapy," Tofu said,
barely containing his chuckle, "so he's not going to be too
active the next day or two. You can take him home now."
"Arigato." She scrambled to her son's room to pack him up
and leave while he was still out-cold.
Tofu picked up the current file and vanished into his
office.
>From the entrance, a shrine was tossed in, clearing the path
for the thrower.
A middle-aged woman stepped carefully into the clinic,
looking around.
"Tofu?" she called. "Aren't you going to greet your poor,
old mother?"
"Oh, crap," the doctor breathed. Another obstacle to his
making up with Ko-chan! If his mother sees her - or worse
yet, *him* - all Seven Rings of Hell will break loose!
He hurried out of his office and into the lobby.
"Mother! I didn't expect you back - "
"Have you gotten married yet?" she asked.
"Huh?" he replied intelligently.
"Married! Espoused! With bride! Mated! Condition necessary
for the production of legitimate heirs - hint, hint!"
"Uh, no - "
"WAAAAHHHH!! Where are my grandchildren?? I'm the only one
in my circle without grandchildren!" She picked up the
shrine, patting it affectionately. "And your dear, dear
father, Tetsuro, so wanted grandchildren ... "
Tofu cringed under the Martial Arts Elderly Mother Guilt
Attack. "Mother, please - " he took her around her
shoulders, pushing her back out to the door.
"How can you not have found a girl to marry yet? You are
still handsome, you have your hair, you're a doctor!"
A female voice drifted to the lobby. "I'm sorry about the
chocolate pudding on the sheets, Ono-san; I'll see if I can
scrub it out."
Tofu turned a brilliant shade of red as Ranko-chan came out
of the back, still clad in the naughty nurse's uniform.
His mother turned, a smile spreading across her face. "Oh,
my wonderful son! How could you not tell me? Chocolate
pudding and nurse uniforms, too."
"Excuse me?" Ranko asked. "Have we met?"
"What's your name, dear?" Mama Tofu dropped to her knees,
observing the girl.
"Uh, Ranko ... What the hell are you doing, you old
pervert???"
Ranko swatted the woman away, as said woman had been feeling
along her hips.
"Mother!" Tofu cried, pulling her away.
"I'll ignore your disrespect on account of having a healthy,
baby-producing pelvis. When are you marrying my son?"
"Marry??" she asked. "What the hell is she talking about?"
"Ko-chan ... meet my mother, Megumi Tofu."
Ranko remained silent, studying the little woman as she
studied her in turn. She finally remembered Ranma panicking
about the weird old mother of the doctor's who tried to get
him to marry Tofu, not knowing about his curse. She had a
habit of 'pelvic fortunetelling', which freaked out all of
the Tendo girls.
<That's my future mother-in-law? Not that I care; I'm not
marrying Ono. Nope. Not at all. Let her deal with Scrawny
Little Miss Domesticity.>
She looked from the doctor to his mother. He sure didn't get
his looks from her.
<Nice figure,> Mama Tofu considered. <Could handle several
babies. Cute, though not too beautiful. Fishnets have to go.
Seems to already know my son quite well - chocolate pudding,
indeed! And his father said he looked like a fairy!>
Mama Tofu beamed, ready to start arranging the wedding.
<Much as I love my mother,> the doctor thought to himself.
<I won't let her have her way.>
"Pleased to meet you, Tofu-san. My name's Ranko Saotome,"
she paused, looking down at the costume she wore. "Sorry
'bout this."
"No problem at all, dear. I'll just leave you two alone to
talk over the wedding plans - "
"Is she aware we're not even dating, let alone getting
married?" the redhead asked the doctor.
Tofu lowered his head, feeling the tears well up for no
reason. No, for a good reason.
"Don't go breaking his heart, Ranko-chan," his mother
stated, hitching up the shrine. "He has the weight of the
Tofu family honor on his shoulders, being the head of the
family now. He needs a wife, a mistress of the family house,
a woman to give him heirs - "
"Weren't you leaving, mother?"
"Yes, your father and I must depart. Start on planning the
wedding!"
She hummed to herself as she left the clinic, leaving the
doctor and his receptionist in great confusion in her wake.
Just as the seven o'clock showed up.
"Vell, vell, vell," remarked the talking German Shepherd.
"Guten abend, Ranko-chan. Have I got a stoory for voo aboot
a naughty noorse and - "
"Can it, Ralph," Ranko replied, stomping to the back. "I'm
not in the mood."
"This way, please," Doctor Tofu nodded.
Both were grateful for the interruption; Tofu's mother was
just too damn weird for them to discuss.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ina Sophia from Medina (Spain) glanced over her appearance
one more time.
She adjusted the glamour again, covering her natural flaming
orange-red color with the innocent blonde. She had combed
her wild bangs down and tied the rest up in a side ponitail
with a daisy hair comb. Her white blouse framed her green
suspenders that lead down to her green skirt with the daisy
print. She checked her eyes again, making sure the dark
amber was obliterated by the shining stars in them.
Tonight, she was going to claim Ono Tofu for herself again,
once and for all. No one will interrupt, especially that top
heavy Lina Inverse!!
She activated a levitation spell, sending her flying through
the night.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doctor Ono Tofu was doing some closing up at the end of the
evening, planning to retire early after the exhausting and
humiliating day.
Trouble came a little after ten-thirty when a petite young
woman entered the clinic.
Tofu stiffened, feeling arms lace around his waist. Damnit,
he hated it when magical beings did that without warning; it
usually meant his ass was going to be kicked.
"{Mm, Ono my darling love,}" she murmured in Romany (being
that they had met in Romania the first time) into his back.
Definitely not Ko-chan. "Um, Ina?"
"{That's right,}" she purred. "{Such a good boy. I'll give
you a spanking anyway. Having that tart here.}"
<Who's the tart?> "Ina, I'm tired and I have a headache - "
"{It's good for what ails you, my dear doctor,}" she turned
him around and pushed him back against the desk. Ina pulled
her hair out of the comb and let it fall over her small
shoulders.
"N-n-now, Ina!" Doctor Tofu stammered, trying not to panic.
"This isn't the place - "
"Anyplace is good," she countered, pulling her clothes off
in a swift tug.
Replacing the little girl outfit was something completely
different. A sheer, sleeveless black robe covered black
vinyl bra and panties, dotted with tiny studs that looked
rather efficient. Black fishnet stockings grazed over her
legs while vinyl black boots and fingerless fishnet gloves
finished off the look. Dangling around her neck was a chain
holding a dagger (itself looking very efficient, too). A
European dragon tattoo done in purple and green adorned her
left hip.
Tofu struggled against her emcompassing limbs, only
succeeding in encouraging her. "Let - me - go!"
She gasped, moaning. "I feel so comfortable with you, my
darling. I must have you again! You must be mine!"
Tofu twisted out of her grip and ducked past her, headed for
the door. As he reached for the door handle, a bullwhip
snapped out and wrapped itself around his throat.
A twitch of Ina's wrist, and Tofu was on the floor at her
feet. "Naughty boy," she purred. "You'll have to learn some
... discipline."
He tried to roll away and get to his feet, but a spiked heel
pressed down on his chest. "Don't worry, Ono-sama. I've
gotten you new shorts to wear - all battery-powered. No
nasty extension cords to get tangled up in the manacles this
time."
Tofu whipped a hand over his head. He needed something to
cool her off. "FREEZE ARROW!"
Ina ducked and giggled. "You missed, silly boy!"
A chunk of ceiling, groaning under the weight of being iced,
detached from the rest and landed right on her.
The girl went out cold; he tore the whip from his neck and
dashed out of the clinic into the warm dark night.
<Damn, wish I'd planned that.>