Enough people have written me saying they didn't see 9 that I'm reposting
nine just to make sure it gets out to folk.

 The Last Days of the Silver Millennium:

	 Opal looked down at the casket he had made and the 
body of one of his oldest, dearest friends.  I am the last of 
us, Diamond, he thought.  The Kingdoms are in ruins; I don't 
know if any of them still stand, but if they do, they will not 
last long.  Only the Earth will survive, though the Golden 
Kingdom has fallen.

	Diamond's body looked perfect now, thanks to Opal's 
power; he had restored it to order.  The crows had eaten 
most of it.  Beryl had hung his corpse from a pole in front of 
the Golden Palace.  

	"May the gods take you up into their bosom, my 
friend,"  Opal said.  "I wish Sapphire had lived long enough to 
do this; I've never been very good at knowing what to say."

	"He would tell you that Beryl has been defeated, and 
the Seven Scourges have been reimprisoned.  The Silver 
Millennium has fallen, but humanity survives, and perhaps 
we'll be able to build something better from the ashes."  It 
was a woman's voice.  Opal turned and saw Prudence, of the 
Seven Thunders, holding the Sky King's Thunderbolts, 
standing only a few feet away.

	"Prudence!  You're alive!"  he reached out and touched 
her, just to reassure himself.  "I see you've inherited your 
father's weapons."

	"There is no one else to bear them.  Pluto has 
withdrawn to guard the time tunnel, but she told me where 
to find you.  You have to help me hide them until they will be 
needed again."

	"Help me finish burying Diamond," Opal said.  "I wish I 
could bury Ruby with him, but there was nothing left of him 
for me to try to reconstitute.  He died fighting the 
incursion."

	Soon, the coffin was buried, and they both prayed 
silently as the heavens began to pour down rain.  Opal looked 
up.  "The weather has gone wild, out of control.  But perhaps 
the two of us, using the Thunderbolts, can combine our 
abilities and calm it before it wipes out everything."

	Prudence paled.  "An entire world?"

	"It can be done.  And no one can do it but us."

	"But we might not survive it."

	"There is not much left for us to live for, especially 
if..."

	A building nearby exploded when struck by a lightning 
bolt dozens of feet across.

	"We have controlled the weather for so long, I think it 
no longer understands how to live on its own.  I hesitate to 
tamper with it more, but I think we have no choice."

	Prudence sighed.  "You're right.  I wish my sisters were 
here."

	"So do I, but we must make do with what we have."  He 
reached out a hand to her.  "Come, we must go to the Heart 
of the World."

	There was a flash, and they were gone.

*****************

	Children of Fire
	A Sailor Moon/Ranma Elseworld

	Chapter 9:  Pleasant Distractions

	http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/SMR/

	By
	John Biles

*****************

	"Pull!"  Sailor Mars shouted.

	Guardian Saturn threw a clay pigeon into the air.

	"FIRE SOUL!"  A bolt of flame erupted from Mars' 
hands, charring it to ash.

	"Good job, Mars," Pluto said.  "Your aim is getting 
better."

	"Yeah, if we're attacked by clay pigeons, we know who 
to send forward," Guardian Uranus said while sparring with 
Usagi.  Having allowed herself to become distracted, she was 
then disarmed by Usagi, who pummeled Uranus down with 
her staff.

	Mercury laughed gently, while Prudence simply stared.  
Mercury turned to Prudence.  "You okay?  You've been down 
in the dumps lately."

	"There was this guy, and he..."  She sighed.  "He got 
killed in an accident."

	"That's awful!"  Mercury said.  "I'm sorry."

	Prudence quietly sagged.  "I could never make up my 
mind how I felt about him, but...it's too late now."

	Mercury had no idea what to say; she'd never been too 
good at comforting people.  "I'm sure he...um..."

	Prudence began to cry on her shoulder, while all around 
her, the practice session ground to a halt with everyone 
staring and not knowing what to do.  Usagi was the only one 
to act, coming over and hugging Prudence from behind and 
whispering soothing words into her ear.  She took Prudence 
aside to talk to her, leaving everyone else to stare helplessly 
for a minute or two, then return to their training.

	Mars sidled over to Pluto.  "She's the one, isn't she."

	Pluto nodded.  "I remember how she was.  It's not 
proof, but...Princess Serenity always knew how to deal with 
those in pain."  She glanced over thoughtfully at Mars.  
"What does Eowyn think?"

	Mars frowned.  "She hasn't come out to play."

	"Good," Saturn said.  "We don't need more people with 
my problems."  He felt several feminine gazes on him and 
backed up a step.  "What, what?"

	Pluto started to say something, then frowned and 
turned to Uranus.  "Come and spar with me."  They went off, 
leaving Mars and Saturn looking at each other.

	"What?  Everybody's looking at me funny," Saturn 
asked.

	"Nothing.  Let's do some more pigeons."

	The final score was Mars 15, Saturn 6, Pigeons 1 
(one landed on her head instead of getting baked and gave 
her a nasty bruise).

*************

	General Nephrite bowed to Queen Beryl.  "How may I 
serve you, my queen?"

	"Your search for the Silver Crystal is going too slow.  I 
need results."

	"It's a large planet."

	"I know.  That's why I'm assigning these youma to 
assist you."  She handed him a list of twelve youma.  "And 
you WILL use them.  You will NOT send them off looking for it 
in the Northern Reaches, like you did with the last lot.  I know 
you prefer to work alone, but I couldn't care less about your 
pride.  You will use them, and if even one of them reports 
you're not putting him to work, I will send you to break rocks 
into smaller rocks for the rest of your life.  Do you 
understand?"  Her voice was harsher than usual, which took 
effort.

	"They're not ALL in the Northern Reaches."

	"Perhaps I should send you to count them.  For a few 
decades."

	"I hear and obey," he said.  "I will put them to work."

	"Finding the Crystal.  Not copying books.  Not..."

	Nephrite frowned.  "I get the point."

	Beryl pounded it in for about fifteen more minutes, 
then said, "To you is given the most important job.  
Remember that.   If our enemies reach the Crystal before 
we do, then we will likely end up being locked in here again.  
You will NOT let them get to it first."

	"I will serve you to the best of my abilities, my Queen."

	"Then it had better be enough.  Or you will consider 
Jadeite's fate a mercy."

*************

	"What's wrong, Ami?" her father asked.  "You look 
down."

	"A friend of mine had a guy she liked die, and I didn't 
know how to help her."  She looked up from her desk.  "And 
now I'm going to fall behind because I spent all day with my 
friends instead of studying."

	He came across the room to her.  "Got time to pencil 
into your busy schedule for a chess game tomorrow 
afternoon?"

	"Sure, daddy," she said.  "I thought you'd decided you 
weren't going to try playing me anymore, though.  But I'd 
love to play with you."

	He smiled the impish smile she knew meant he was 
doing something to get in trouble.  "Say...four o'clock?"

	"Four thirty.  Don't forget it takes time for you to 
drive me home."

	For a moment, he went blank, clearly doing math in his 
head.  "You're right.  That's why you're the genius, and I just 
paint."

	"You're a genius of painting, daddy," she said.  "I wish I 
could be as good as you."

	"Stick around here long enough, and it'll rub off on 
you."  He turned to go, then turned again.  "Just be there 
when your friend needs you.  And let her know you care.  Did 
you know the boy?"

	"I didn't even know he existed until today.  Naoko's 
even shyer than me."

	He thought a moment.  "Give her a call and see if she'd 
like to come eat dinner with us tomorrow.  I'll make my 
special fish dinner."

	Ami got up.  "Good idea.  I'll call her right now."

	She got the answering machine as usual; no one in 
Naoko's house ever seemed to answer the phone.  After 
leaving a message, she went back to her studies feeling a 
little better.  

*************

	Ranma sat on the roof and stared at the moon, trying 
to see if the craters would form into a magical formula to 
get rid of Ruby.  He couldn't even make out the rabbit.  
There were footsteps behind him.  "Hello, Usagi," he said.

	Ukyou laughed.  "Don't start your own psychic hotline 
any time soon, Ranchan."  She came over and sat down 
beside him.  "You okay?  You've been moody all day."

	"The bastard's been mumbling at me all day.  This is 
driving me nuts," Ranma said.  "Some days I hardly hear him, 
but today, he's just been...a pain in the ass."

	"So what's he saying about me?"

	"Dunno.  He seems to get confused and go hide when 
I'm talking to you, like he doesn't know what to make of you 
or something."  

	"Perhaps I should glue myself to your arm, then," 
Ukyou said.

	Ranma laughed.  "I don't hear him much when I'm in girl 
form either.  Or around Usagi.  But around Rei and Setsuna, 
he just can't shut up.  Usually wants me to yell at Rei 
and...well, you know."

	Ukyou knew too well.  "I guess he only comes out with 
people he knows."

	"Yeah, but he knew you.  I guess maybe the you being a 
girl thing scares him or something."

	"Does it scare you?"

	"Why would it scare me?"  Ranma blinked.

	Ukyou smiled.  "So you like it?"

	"Ain't like I got any choice, but yeah, you're a cute 
girl."  Ranma was quite sure Ukyou was hinting at something, 
but not sure what.  

	She glomped onto his arm and leaned her head against 
his shoulder, neck, and head.  He got the point.  "You're really 
cute too, Ranchan."

	Ruby started howling inside Ranma's head fit to kill as 
if he'd been hit by a car or something.  This is wrong!  You 
can't snuggle up to Diamond!  He's a guy!  What do you think 
you're DOING? Ruby shouted.  I'm not gay!

	Don't be a freak, Ruby, Ranma told him.  This ain't 
Diamond, this is Ukyou.  Diamond is dead.  Dead.  Dead.  And 
I'll snuggle up to whoever the hell I want to!  Besides, she 
snuggled up to me, anyway!  And I ain't being gay!

	You're betraying Cassandra!  Ruby shouted.  With a 
guy!

	Bite me, dead boy, Ranma thought.  You don't like this?  
I'll show you something you really don't like.  

	"Ranchan?  Are you okay?  Are you...mad at me for..."

	Ranma calmed his expression and turned to Ukyou.  
"Ruby's being an ass, and I have to show him who's boss in 
this body."  

	"Umm, maybe I should..."

	"Don't go," he said, then pulled her up into his lap, 
intending to kiss her, just to show Ruby what he thought of 
Ruby's babblings.  This took a few seconds however, during 
which his body had time to realize there was a cute girl 
sitting in his lap, which sent him into abject paralysis.  

	Ukyou blushed.  "Ranchan!"  She leaned up against him.  
"You do like me."

	He had to struggle with his vocal cords.  "You're my 
best friend, Ucchan.  Of course I do."

	She brought a hand up to stroke his cheek, with the 
clear look of someone struggling to find the strength to be 
bolder than that.  "Ranchan, I..."

	No!  Don't do it!  Don't do it!  Ruby shouted.  Cassandra, 
you've got to show up and stop this fool!  

	Ranma's paralysis snapped.  He had to do something to 
prove he was his own man, that what Ruby thought didn't 
matter.  And the best way to prove it was staring him in the 
face.  He simply leaned forward and kissed her.

	For a few seconds, they clumsily kissed, their balance 
shifting as he leaned forward.  Ruby howled, then fell silent 
like a light turning off.  Ranma felt himself trembling as he 
let go of Ukyou's lips, and her eyes were shining brightly.  
"Ranchan!" she said.

	He started to reply, but then the tiles they were 
sitting on suddenly came loose.  They started to slide down 
the roof, and the sudden motion sent Ukyou tumbling 
backwards, pulling Ranma over her.  They rolled down the 
roof and fell towards the ground below.  Ranma twisted them 
around to take the blow himself.  His head smacked the 
ground and darkness overwhelmed him.

****************

	Nephrite finished drawing the elaborate chart.  Yes, 
this would be just perfect.  Twelve youma gave him one for 
each calendar month.  This meant he could build a spiritual 
calendar wheel and use it to locate the Silver Crystal.  Yes, 
this would be perfect.  

	However, he would need energy to empower it, and 
that meant bargaining with either Zoicite and Kunzite or with 
Tourmaline.  He decided to try Tourmaline first, as Zoicite 
and Kunzite would likely try to sabotage his efforts.

	A bell rang, and he blinked, looking around his 
'cathedral' where he did his research.  No one was there; he 
then realized the person was following an old tradition of the 
Silver Millennium--the teleportation equivalent of knocking.  
He had no idea who it could possibly be; only he and Kunzite 
and Zoicite remembered how to do that trick.  He sent a 
'come in' reply in the traditional mode.

	Tourmaline appeared, looking gloomy.  She was dressed 
sedately in an ankle-length black dress that hid most of her 
flesh except for her forearms, each of which bore a large 
jade bracer.  

	"That's a new look for you."

	"Unlike some people, I mourn," she said flatly.

	That surprised him, although he'd heard rumors.  
Perhaps they _had_ become lovers before the end.  "What 
brings you here?"

	"I heard you were looking for me."

	Doesn't mourn too much to do business, he thought.  "I 
need energy to help find the Silver Crystal.  I can trade you 
the service of some superfluous youma I've been assigned."

	"The ones Beryl told you weren't to be sent to the 
Northern Reaches like the others?"

	He frowned intensely.  "Unless she means me to tear 
the city apart inch by inch, I have little need for a horde of 
youma."

	"You'll need them to fight the Senshi."

	"I am no fool like Jadeite who decides to go out in a 
blaze of glory.  He wanted to die."

	Tourmaline frowned.  "He did not."

	"Oh come now, how could they keep him if he chose to 
leave?  Unless they murdered him with a knife in the back, he 
could have fled to fight another day.  He wanted to die.  
Perhaps he wanted to be with his precious Eowyn."

	"Don't tell me you never think of Sif."  Her voice was 
harsh, and choked with repressed emotion.

	"Sif never understood that it is futile to fight the 
stars.  I but followed the path they set out for me when I 
came to Beryl."

	She started to say something, then choked it down 
with visible effort.  "I could use auguries by you on various 
people.  I'm willing to supply some energy in return for that."

	The deal seemed too good to be true, but he would 
take it.  "Good, now this is what I need..."

****************

	Ranma awoke to see his father leaning over him.  "Boy, 
what the hell did you think you were doing up there?"

	"I...uh..."

	"Ranchan!  I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to make us fall!"  
Ukyou was at his side in an instant, taking his hand.  "I'm 
sorry!"

	Fall?  Ranma tried to remember what had been going 
on.  He'd wanted to go off alone, so he had...climbed 
something.  And then he was here on this futon.  "Fall?  Were 
we sparring on poles or something?"

	Ukyou's eyes widened.  "You...don't remember?"

	"Don't give me the amnesia act, boy.  I taught you that 
trick," Genma said.  "What were you two doing up there?"

	"Up where?"

	"Ranchan, do you remember who we are?"  Ukyou 
asked nervously.

	"Of course I do.  You're Ukyou, and this is my dad."  He 
pointed at each of them correctly.

	Ukyou looked relieved.  "But you don't remember what 
we were doing?"

	"Of course he does.  He's lying out his ass," Genma 
said.

	"I am not lying!"  He sat up.  "Well, except physically."

	"Ahaha!  The truth comes out!"

	Rei came in with an ice pack, which she stuck on 
Ranma's forehead.  "Here you go, you idiot.   I'd have thought 
the mighty martial artist could have landed on his feet."

	"I ain't no cat," Ranma said.  "But I don't remember..."

	Shingo-neko ran in and jumped in his lap.  "I'm the cat.  
Pet me."

	Ukyou picked up Shingo and petted him.  "It was my 
fault.  We were practicing roof fighting and I stumbled.  He 
tried to save me, and ended up taking the fall."

	Sounds logical, Ranma thought.  Just like that time in 
Moonstone City.  Then the Illifir cultists got away.  Really 
sucked.  He stood up.  "I feel fine."  His head throbbed.  
"Mostly."

	"Roof fighting, huh," Rei said suspiciously.  

	Ukyou nodded.  "Yes."

	"Were you winning, boy?"

	"Uh...probably."

	Ukyou frowned a tiny frown.  "Roof fighting is one of 
my specialties."

	"Roof falling, maybe," Genma said.  "You wouldn't last 
five seconds with me."

	"Then let's go prove it, old man!"

	"I don't fight women," he said.

	"Then I'll just pound you flat."  She grabbed him and 
dragged him off, much to Ranma's surprise.

	He turned to Rei.  "I wouldn't think she could just 
overwhelm Pop like that."

	"It's because he wants to pound her flat, but wants to 
look innocent when he does," Rei said.

	"..."

	"I'll go break them up," Rei said.

	"I'd better go with you," Ranma said.

	Rei's look of anger softened.  "You'd better rest.  You 
won't be able to do much with one hand holding an ice pack to 
your head, anyway."

	Ranma frowned.  "Ukyou's going to get hurt."

	"Provoking a fight with your father was dumb enough 
she probably deserves to get hurt.  But lie down; I'll deal with 
this."

	He sat down until she left, then snuck after her 
anyway.

	He got outside just in time to see Ukyou get knocked 
off the roof.  He ran to try to catch her, losing the ice pack, 
just in time for Usagi to have the same idea and collide with 
him.  They both fell down, and Ukyou landed on top of them.  
Ranma got a mouthful of dirt and didn't enjoy the taste at 
all.  Usagi laid there dazed..

	Ukyou sprang back to the roof as Rei said, "Stop it 
right this minute!"

	More roof tiles slipped, and this time Genma lost his 
footing.  He landed on his feet...then fell down.  "Can't fight 
on a roof where the tiles come off," he said.

	"That's right,"  Grandpa said.  "And now everyone who 
has been knocking tiles off the roof gets to help fix it."  He 
glared at Genma, who sighed.

	"She started it," he said, pointing to Ukyou.

	"I don't care who started it.  Get going fixing it now."

	"But it's almost time for bed!"  Genma said.

	"This will be a lesson on when not to cause damage, 
then," Granpa said, folding his arms.  "There's more tiles in 
the shed."

	Ranma, Ukyou, and Genma groaned in unison.

************

	"Daughter, have you..."  Diamond posed in the door.  
Tourmaline was stretched out on her bed crying.  He came 
over hesitantly.  "Should I go away?"

	She sat up.  "No, please stay."  She did her best to rub 
the tears from her eyes.  "What's up, Daddy?"

	"Your mother has prepared the awakening crystals and 
taken them to Beryl so she can doublecheck them.  We 
should be ready to approach my brother and sister in law and 
your cousin and Kasumi within a few days."

	Tourmaline blinked.  "I thought mother said it would 
take weeks."

	"They'll have to come here for proper treatment, but 
these will kickstart memory recovery, so they'll know enough 
to believe us."  He reached over and squeezed her shoulder.  
"You really liked him, didn't you."

	"We were finally getting to really be...friends, and 
then...Do you think Nephrite is right?"

	He blinked.  "About what?"

	"That Jadeite wanted to die."

	"I can't imagine why he would want that.  He probably 
got unlucky.  Do you think he...liked you?"

	"Yes," she said weakly.

	"Then he would have never wanted to die.  No one with 
a...friend like you would want to die."

	She leaned over and hugged him, putting her head on 
his shoulder.  "Thank you, daddy."

	"Oh, and I have other good news."

	"What news?"

	"Beryl was so pleased with your sister's capture of 
that strange girl with the green hair that she's restored 
your sister's Captain rank."

	"Strange girl with the green hair?"  Tourmaline asked.

	"Apparently, she knows where Endymion is."

	Tourmaline's eyes widened.  "She does?"

	"I've never seen Beryl dance a jig before."

	"What's a jig?"

	"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that's what she was 
doing."

	Tourmaline laughed, which was his goal in saying that in 
the first place.  "Where is Beryl holding this girl?"

	"I don't know."

	"Daddy, how did you meet Mom?"

	He blinked.  "Didn't I ever tell you about that?"

	"No."

	"Your mother was in college.  She worked as a waitress 
to make money.  Genma and I used to go to the kissaten 
where she worked.  We'd come in, get the same cheapest 
meal on the menu, complain about Happousai and babble on 
about our training.  Every day.  One day I noticed she'd come 
to watch us train, so of course I tried to make her leave 
before the Master could see her.  She misunderstood and 
thought I was mad at her, but I still couldn't get her to go 
before the Master showed up.  That was the day I learned 
there was a way to remove a woman's bra without taking off 
her shirt."

	Tourmaline's eyes widened. 

	"The Master did it, not me!"  Diamond looked 
embarrassed.  "She chased him all the way to her dorm, 
where Nodoka beat him up and recovered the bra.  He really 
passionately hated Nodoka after that because she always 
beat him flat.  Had a knack for it that I never quite got 
myself.  Anyway, I took her out on a date as an apology for 
the Master's behavior, and things took off from there."

	"Do you ever miss those days?"

	"I'd rather be fed to Metallia toe-first than ever be 
under the Master's thumb again.  I was glad he only banished 
us to another dimension.  Even now with all my power, I would 
rather not face him."

	"He's still out there."

	Diamond shuddered.  "Unfortunately."

************

	Ranma flopped onto the futon.  He'd not bothered 
turning to girl form before going to bed; Rei was long asleep 
anyway.  School after four hours of sleep...ugh, he thought.  
I think I'll fake illness.  And if Pop tries to get me up early 
for training....I'll kill him.

	Pop didn't get him up early.  In fact, when he woke up, 
Rei was already gone, and flute music was drifting through 
the air.  He recognized the Chinese tune from his travels, 
although he had no idea what the words were. 

	He sprinted down to the kitchen, and saw the clock 
read 11:05 AM.  Oh great, I'm going to be toast at school, he 
thought.  Then he saw the note on the table.  

	It read, 'Took your father shopping.  You've been called 
in sick at school.  I suggest you spend the day catching up on 
homework and practicing.  We'll be back in time for dinner, 
hopefully.'  It was signed by Grandpa.

	Ranma began rooting around for breakfast, but was 
interrupted by Usagi.  "You're up!"

	"I'm glad Gramps let me sleep in," Ranma said.  "Man, 
we must have been up until 3 AM.  Those tiles were a pain 
and a half."

	Usagi took Ranma by the arm.  "Let's go out to eat, 
okay?  I'm ready for lunch, and I never get to spend any time 
with you."

	Ranma froze up for a few seconds, waiting for a 
comment from Ruby, but the man remained silent.  In fact, 
he'd been silent since Ranma fell off the roof.  Ranma hoped 
that had somehow gotten rid of him forever, but didn't think 
it likely.

	He relaxed, and said, "Okay.  We ought to see if Ukyou 
and Shampoo want to go too."

	"Ukyou's gone to see Haruka, and...can't we just go 
with the two of us?"  Usagi asked wheedlingly.

	"Uh...well, you mean..."

	She nodded.

	"Uh..."  Geez, I'm acting like she's going to eat me for 
lunch or something, Ranma thought.  It ain't like I just said I 
wanted to get married or nothing.  "Let's go, then," he said.  
We're just eating lunch together.  It's not really a date or 
anything.  It's not like we haven't eaten lunch in the kitchen 
together.  Yes, that's it.  Not a date at all.  Nope.

**************

	The owner of the ramen stand thought a horde of 
Mongols had descended upon him or something.  Two kids he 
was pretty sure should have been in school were eating 
enough ramen for six ordinary customers.  In fact, he soon 
realized the boy and girl seemed to be having an eating 
contest.  The girl won when the boy turned green and fell 
over.  

	"Told ya you couldn't out-eat me," the blonde girl said, 
helping the boy back up.

	"Bet I can...out-throw up you."

	"Ugh."

	"Not here you don't!" the owner said.  "Go puke in the 
gutter."

	The boy staggered off with the girl propping him up.  
"You hid it in your clothing or something, right?  You couldn't 
really eat that much, Usagi," the boy said.

	"Just lots of practice," Usagi said.  "Amazons eat 
well...but we need it."

	"You kids should be in school!" an approaching truant 
officer shouted.

	They took off running.  The man proved quite nimble, 
and at first he kept up.  Then Ranma and Usagi leaped up 
onto a roof.  This briefly gained them time, except that the 
exertion caused Ranma to finally lose his lunch.  By the time 
he finished, the officer somehow found a ladder and got onto 
the roof, berating them the entire time.

	They took off again, and now their superior agility told.  
The officer ended up falling onto a stand between roofs, and 
they took off across the ward.  Finally, they dropped down 
into an alleyway, and Ranma said, "Ugh."

	Usagi said, "Running from danger together is so 
romantic."

	"I ain't feeling very romantic," he said, having a 
moment of dry heaves.  

	Usagi suddenly winced.  "Ugh, I've given myself 
stomach cramps."

	"Don't give my body any ideas."

	They limped home together.

**************

	Ami came downstairs.  It was time for her chess 
game.  She resolved to go easy on her father so it wouldn't 
be over too quickly.  He wasn't very good at it, although he 
was quite good at Go and usually beat her at that.  The 
chess table was set up on the back porch as usual, and 
everything was just like the last time she'd played with him, 
except that a dark haired boy who was sort of cute was 
sitting in her father's chair, with her father seated in 
another chair next to him.  Her father looked up and said, 
"Ami, this is Urawa Ryo.  Ryo, this is my daughter Ami."

	Ami came over and bowed.  "Nice to meet you."

	"Nice to meet you too," he said.

	"Ryo's agreed to stand as my champion, since I know 
you'll crush me," Ami's father said.

	"If you don't mind," Ryo said quickly.

	"Um...okay," Ami said, feeling a little disappointed, a 
little shy, and a little bit happy to have an excuse to do 
something fun with a cute guy.  She sat down and picked up 
one pawn from each side, then shuffled them behind her 
back.  "Pick one."

	He pointed to the right fist and got white, which was 
already set up on his side of the board.  

	What followed was one of the most intense chess 
games of her entire life.  He opened with a clumsy gambit, 
but as the game progressed, he began to anticipate her 
every move.  She found it incredibly uncanny.  Several times 
she had to abandon elaborately planned out strategems when 
he blocked a crucial move in advance.

	Still, slowly but steadily, she ate away at his forces.  
By midgame, he was on the defensive, though it was a 
brilliant defense.  Finally, after two hours, she managed to 
maneuver him into checkmate.  He stared ruefully at the 
board, then said, "You really are a genius."

	"Mom taught me to play when I was seven," Ami said.  
"I've had a lot of practice."

	"I only started about a year ago when Grandpa gave me 
some chess books for my birthday," he said.  

	Ami's eyes widened.  He played that well with only a 
year's experience?  Some of his moves were clumsy, but at 
times he had been absolutely flawless in his defense.  
"Really?   Do you have a tournament rating?"

	"Haven't been to a real tournament."

	"Well, you should.  You're really good."

	He frowned.  "Not really."

	"No, seriously, you are.  Although I have to tell you 
that opening by moving out either of the pawns in front of 
your rooks isn't a very good one."

	For a second, he looked guilty, then said, "I had an idea, 
but it didn't work out."

	Ami's father, who had vanished during the game, came 
back out and said,  "Would you like to stay for dinner, Ryo?"

	"If it's not too much trouble, sure," he said.

	"No problem at all.  We're already having Ami's friend 
Naoko over too."

	"She called back?"  Ami asked.

	"Yes.  Her mother is supposed to drop her off in a few 
minutes."

	"Are you sure I won't be a..."  Ryo began.

	"It's no problem.  Kasumi fixed enough food for an 
army.  We'll be eating sausages for a week, it looks like."

	"Misread the grocery list again, Dad?"

	"Hey, the previous time, it wasn't my fault someone 
put '9 mm of cord' on the list instead of '9 m of cord', now 
was it?"  He laughed.  "Anyway, who won?"

	"Ami did," Ryo said.

	"Ryo is very good at chess," Ami said.  "I think you 
picked a good ringer this time, Dad."

	"Come on in.  I'll clean up the chess set, and then 
Naoko will get here and we'll get to eat dinner."

**************

	Ukyou came up the steps and to her surprise, saw 
Ranma and Usagi asleep under a tree, leaning against each 
other.  They were both covered with dirt and had clearly 
been sparring at some earlier point.  Part of her wanted to 
go get a camera because it was so cute, while the other part 
wanted to knock Usagi into orbit for glomping onto HER 
fiancee while asleep.

	Shampoo was showing some visitors around, so Ukyou  
choked back her urge to start a riot and simply pried Ranma 
loose from Usagi, which was harder than she thought it 
would be at first, and carried him off over one shoulder, 
leaving Usagi to slump against the tree.  

	He woke up when she got him to the bathroom.  
"Whuz... Usagi... what you doing?"

	"I'm not Usagi," Ukyou said, letting her irritation show.  
"Get clean; you're a mess."

	"Hey, where'd Usagi go?"

	"She's taking a nap.  Now, go bathe.  And what were 
you two doing, anyway?"

	"Just sparring."  He opened the bathroom door.  "You 
ain't gonna insist on coming in, are you?"

	"No, but I am gonna kick your ass if you don't take a 
bath!  You stink!"

	"Do not!"

	"Do too!"

	After several rounds of this, Ukyou gave up.  
"Whatever.  Get clean!"

	The door closed, and she headed back outside, just in 
time to encounter Rei.  "Hey, Rei, I got accepted to your 
school."

	Rei blinked.  "You did?"

	"Yeah, I passed the entrance exam with some help 
from Haruka's mom.  I was gonna tell Ranchan, but he was 
passed out and stunk, so I threw him in the bathroom."

	Rei laughed.  "Congratulations."

	Usagi came stumbling over to them, yawning.  "Where'd 
Ranma go?"

	"He's taking a bath," Ukyou said.

	Usagi started towards the bathroom, only to have Rei 
and Ukyou each grab a trailing ponytail and stop her.  "By 
himself," Rei said.

	"You're no fun,"  Usagi grumbled.  "We could all go join 
him!  That would be fair, right?"

	Ukyou was tempted for a few seconds, but then she 
and Rei said, "No."

	"Oh well, I had him to myself all day," Usagi said.  "I 
guess I can't complain.  We went out to lunch together."  Her 
voice had just a tiny hint of triumph.

	"Well, we kissed on the roof last night, so there," 
Ukyou said, then regretted it.

	"You WHAT?"  Usagi and Rei said in unison.

	"Umm..."

	"That's cheating!"  Usagi said.  "I could have tried to 
kiss him twenty times today, but I didn't!"

	"He kissed me," Ukyou said proudly, deciding a brawl 
was inevitable, so she might as well gloat.

	"Liar!"  Usagi said.  "He told me he wasn't going to kiss 
nobody until this was all settled."

	The argument dragged on pointlessly, never quite 
crossing the line to an all-out riot, until finally Ranma came 
out in clean clothing.  "Your turn, Usagi."

	She turned to him tearfully.  "Did you...kiss Ukyou on 
the roof last night?"

	He racked his memory, and had a faint memory of 
kissing someone on the roof.  "Uh...I think I 
was...uh...maybe."

	"MAYBE?"  Rei shouted.  "How do you 'maybe' kiss 
someone?"

	"Uh, I..."  The memory snapped into place.  "Oh yeah, I 
wanted to piss off Ruby, so I..."

	"You kissed me just to piss off Ruby?"  Ukyou shouted.

	"No, wait, I..."

	"INFIDELITY PUNCH!"  Three fists struck home, sending 
Ranma airborne to eventually land in a pool a block away.

	"Ain't never talking again," Ranma-chan muttered as 
she dragged herself out of the pool.  "Ever."

*******************

	Ami set out a small bowl of sausage for the cute little 
black pig that Naoko had found butting its head against the 
front door on her arrival.  "Here you go."

	"It's not pork sausage is it?"  Naoko asked.

	"Eh...oh."

	"It's not," Kasumi said.  "But don't pigs eat nuts and 
berries?"

	"They're omnivores, like humans," Ami said.  "I'll ask 
around tomorrow and see who he belongs to."

	Finding the pig seemed to have perked Naoko up, which 
made Ami glad.  She petted him.  "He's cute."

	"Yep."

	"I've never seen a pig with a bandana," Ryo said.

	"Dinner is served," Kasumi said.  "Let's eat!"

*******************

	Rei never thought she'd find herself comforting a 
romantic rival over something the boy they were 
both...involved with...had done.  "Well, it wasn't your first 
kiss, was it?"  Rei asked.

	"First time a boy ever kissed me," Ukyou whimpered 
through her tears.  "And it was just to piss off someone 
else!  I thought...I thought..."  She finished breaking down.

	Usagi hugged her while Rei patted her shoulder.  "Don't 
worry.  We'll make him apologize."

	Rei frowned.  "Ruby must go."

	"Exactly," Usagi said.  "So Ranma can't use him as an 
excuse for being a jerk."

	Rei frowned.  This sort of thing would keep happening 
if the whole four women thing wasn't settled, but...she 
wanted to try dating him, but she wasn't ready to marry 
him.  But if they did get together, their parents would make 
sure they'd never be able to get untogether if it didn't work 
out.  I'm only sixteen...I want a boyfriend, not a fiancee, she 
thought.  I'm not quite as crazy as they are, she thought, 
looking over at Ukyou and Usagi.  

	"We'll make him kiss you for a good reason the next 
time," Usagi said.

	Rei wondered if Usagi was actually thinking about what 
she was saying.  I couldn't tell someone I was going to help 
them kiss a guy I liked.  Unless maybe she doesn't really 
want to marry Ranma...  She shook her head.  Usagi was 
pretty clearly smitten with him.  But now...maybe Usagi just 
instinctively comforted people in the way that would work 
best, regardless of her own interests.

	"Maybe I'm still too much of a guy for him to ever love 
me," Ukyou muttered.  "That's probably why it pissed off 
Ruby."

	"Ranma cares about you very much," Usagi said.  
"You're his best friend in this life and the last one.  You've 
got a bond with him that Rei and I can't match.  And I'm sure 
he wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't like you."

	"I wish I could be beautiful like you," Ukyou whispered.  
"Then Ranchan wouldn't kiss me just because he wants to 
piss his old self off."

	"You are beautiful," Usagi said.  "And he's never kissed 
me."

	"Or me,"  Rei said softly.  "Just you and Setsuna."

	"Don't make me think about Setsuna," Ukyou said 
faintly.  "I can't possibly compete with her.  They were...I 
walked in on them once, back in...I was so...so..."  She sobbed 
some more.  "She already had her chance.  I just..."

	Usagi put a finger to Ukyou's lips.  "The harder she 
pushes, the harder he runs.  Don't give up hope because of 
her."

	"Why are you trying to make me have hope?  Don't you 
want Ranma for yourself?"  Ukyou asked Usagi.

	"Women shouldn't let men come between them and 
make them hate each other," Usagi said.  "Friends shouldn't 
do that.  And I don't like to see my friends cry."  She hugged 
Ukyou tightly.  "So, I don't know what we're going to do." 

	Neither do I, Rei thought.

**************

	Ryo left before Naoko did, right after dinner.  "Time 
for me to go do homework.  It was nice meeting both of you!"

	"Nice to meet you too!"

	Once he was gone, Naoko said, "I think he likes you."

	"You're imagining things," Ami said.  "And I don't have 
time for a boyfriend."

	"You should make time."  Naoko's voice was suddenly 
serious.  "You have to strike while you still can."

	"You make it sound like a battle."

	"Love is a battlefield," she said.  "And sometimes it 
has unexpected casualties."  She shook her head.  "I'm sorry 
I'm so gloomy."

	"We all get gloomy sometimes."

	"I've gotta go do homework too."

	"Me too," Ami said.  "And I have a painting to finish.  
See you later!"

	"I'll drive you home," Ami's father offered.

	"Thanks," Naoko said.  "I hate buses."

************

	As they rode along, Naoko said, "So what exactly 
happened to Kasumi's parents?  If I can ask."

	He looked at her with the look of someone deciding 
what story to tell.  "They vanished.  The police had no clue, 
and science has no explanation."

	She looked nervous.  "Does something else explain it?"

	"You're better off not worrying about it," he said.  "But 
if you ever hear we've vanished mysteriously, it's likely the 
same thing."

	"UFOs?"

	He laughed loudly as he pulled into her driveway.  "I 
wish it was something as simple as aliens."

	"Do you think they'll ever come back?"  Naoko asked as 
she got out.

	"They are coming back, and I have no idea what to do 
about it.  Reiko will never believe me if I tell her."  He sighed.  
"Too much science has rotted her brain.  Goodnight, Kikubi-
san."

	"Goodnight, Mizuno-san." 

	He drove off into the night, leaving her staring after 
him.

****************

	Ranma later found Ukyou in her tent, trying to read a 
book.  "You busy?"

	She put down the book and glared at him.

	"Look, I like never meant to make you cry.  I just get 
crazy sometimes when Ruby starts being a bastard and..."

	She continued to glare.

	"Anyway, I promise I won't do nothing like that again.  
Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

	Her glare softened a little.  "Ranma, are you stringing 
us along?"

	"No!  I just don't want to MARRY nobody yet.  And since 
I can't do nothing with no one without just about saying 'I do', 
I ain't gonna pick no one.  'Cause I ain't gonna get no second 
chance."

	She didn't want to be rational about it, but a small part 
of her brain accepted her statement.  The rest of it was still 
feeling hurt.  "But who would you pick if you didn't have to 
pick for life?"

	"I dunno.  I can't try nothing romantic with no one to 
see if I like 'em, because it'll just start World War III.  I mean, 
it's like..."  He stared at the bottom of the tent.  "Can I 
finish coming in and sit?  This is making my back hurt."

	She laughed faintly.  "Come in."

	"Also, I just can't pick nobody until I get crazy ass 
Ruby out of my head."

	I'm not the crazy one, Ruby thought at him.

	Shut up, this is all your fault, he thought back.

	"Then let's find a way to get rid of him."

	Ruby gave a strangled cry.  But, Diamond...

	Diamond's dead.  This is Ukyou, Ranma thought at him.  
Go join him.  "Got any ideas?  Setsuna doesn't know what to 
do, and we already tried exorcising him."

	"I just can't see why he bugs you so much when I never 
have any trouble with Diamond,"  Ukyou said thoughtfully.

	"It's cause I ain't all over Setsuna like he wants,"  
Ranma said.  "And I think 'cause I had to get his help against 
Jadeite."

	She nodded.  "Hmm.  I'll have to think on this one.  If 
Usagi is the Princess, and we find the Silver Crystal, she 
could use it to fix you.  And I'm starting to think she must 
be."

	I don't want to be 'fixed'!  Ruby shouted.

	I don't want you to drive me insane, Ranma replied 
mentally.  "I wonder if Rei could use Eowyn's bond with the 
Princess via the Bronze Oath to find her."

	Ukyou started.  "Didn't we..."

	Ranma nodded.  "Rei and I were talking about it the 
other night.  We were talking about who knew whose true 
names."

	"I knew yours and Sapphire's," Ukyou said.  "I think."

	"Sapphire told you his true name?"  Ranma and Ruby 
were both stunned.

	"I told him mine after he did that.  Just to be fair.  He 
was spouting on about how he would find me across a 
thousand lifetimes and...Did he...do you know how he died?"

	"No.  But I'm sure he died bravely.  He was weird, but 
he was no coward.  Not that I'm in any position to call him 
weird anymore."

	"And I know Setsuna's."

	"..."

	"You talk in your sleep sometimes, Ranchan."

	"I SAID HER TRUE NAME IN MY SLEEP?"

	"She'd probably bash your skull in if she knew.  And I 
bet you probably mumbled mine some time when..."  She 
blushed slightly.  "Although I guess you wouldn't have been 
thinking about me at a time like that."

	"I'm gonna have to start gagging myself at night," 
Ranma said.

	"Just sleep only with people you trust," Ukyou said.  
"You going to bed soon?"

	"Rei and Usagi kicked me out tonight, so I guess I'll just 
set up a sleeping bag under a tree and pray for no rain."

	Ukyou mustered every ounce of courage she had.  "You 
could...stay with me."

	"Thanks.  I'll go get everything and douse myself."

	"Douse...oh."  She felt some disappointment.

	"That and get my homework so I can finish it.  See you 
in a little while."

****************

	Ami was surprised by a knock on her door.  "Come in!"

	It was her father.  "We need to talk, Ami.  I probably 
should tell Kasumi also, but you're the one who...well..."

	She turned around.  "I don't understand."

	"It would help if I did, but I don't entirely understand, 
either."

	Ami had a strong feeling this would be one of _those_ 
conversations.

****************

	Zoicite carefully watched the blue-haired youma who 
was on the roof of Channel 10, setting up a small crystal 
spire near the broadcast antenna.  Nephrite's setting up a 
scanning network, he thought.  Very clever.

	The youma finished her work and went into the 
building.  Zoicite went over and attached a tiny glass scarab 
to the spire, then watched as the scarab fused with it.  Now 
we can monitor his search, Zoicite thought.  Can't let him 
find the Silver Crystal first.  

	Once he finished that, he went off to think.  The Silver 
Crystal is split into shards, each of which sealed off one of 
the Seven Shadows, he thought.  Then he slapped his 
forehead.  The Crystal fragments are hidden, but perhaps 
the Seven Shadows are NOT so hidden.  That's probably how 
Nephrite plans to find them.

	After much thought, Zoicite determined he 
remembered virtually nothing about the Seven Shadows, 
except that they had been intended as parodies of the Seven 
Thunders, who he didn't remember well either.  Time to visit 
the library, he thought.

****************

	"I did this painting a few weeks ago," her father said, 
taking her into one of the storage rooms.  He pulled the 
cover off it.  It showed four people against a night sky.  The 
far left corner held a mustached man in translucent crystal 
armor with a great sword of clear crystal.  Next to him 
stood a beautiful woman with long purple hair, clad in a snug, 
elaborate blue and silver Renaissance style dress, complete 
with a brocaded headdress.  Below them and to the right 
were two teenage women.  One had a wild mane of blue-black 
hair running down to the middle of her back and bright violet 
eyes.  She wore a double-breasted jacket in gray with silver 
trim, black pants, and boots.  The other wore a skimpy green 
dress loosely laced shut in front and slit up both sides of the 
skirt.  Her hair and eyes were green as well.  Ami knew the 
man; he was Diamond.

	"I had a dream; I do a lot of my paintings from dreams, 
especially the ones that Michiko and I shared.  But ones that 
I'm sure I was sharing with her have been rare and ill-omened 
since the day she vanished.  And now this."  He frowned at it.  
"I think they're going to come back for Kasumi.  And maybe 
for all of us.  I'm not sure what's happened to them, but it 
can't be good."

	"The Dark Kingdom has them," Ami said softly.  "They 
serve Beryl now."

	"Tall and pale skinned with long red hair, looks like a 
maniac?"

	"Yes," Ami said.  "I think."

	"Have you been having the dreams too?"

	Ami thought about lying and decided to be honest.  "I'm 
Sailor Mercury.  I've been fighting Beryl's minions for months 
now."

	His eyes widened.  "By yourself?  Does your mother 
know about this?"

	"Not by myself.  My friends fight her too.  And mother 
doesn't know."

	"So who is Beryl?  What's going on?"

	Ami launched into the whole explanation.

*************

	Rei finished off her homework and put it away while 
Usagi read some of her manga.  "Hahahahah!  That guy 
NEVER learns," she said, eagerly flipping a page.

	"Never learns what, Diana?"  Rei asked softly.

	"To stop hitting on women when his alien girlfriend is 
watching, Raven," she replied, then paused.  "Did you call me 
Diana?"

	"Yes," Rei said.

	"That's...I feel like I've been called that before," Usagi 
said, frowning.  "When...when..."  her eyes widened.  "I was 
someone else."

	She is the one, Eowyn whispered in Rei's mind.  The 
power of our oath draws us back together across the chasm 
of time.  It has been so long.  Please, let me speak to her.  

	"Eowyn thinks you're Princess Serenity," Rei said, 
feeling her heart begin to beat faster, and not quite sure 
why.  

	"But why can't I remember?  I can't remember anything 
about the Silver Millennium, or who I was, or...Raven.  That 
was your name.  Your true name.  You stole fire from the 
heavens and..."

	And fell in love with the moon, Eowyn thought.

	Rei's eyes widened at what she thought Eowyn was 
insinuating.  You were lovers?  But what about Jadeite?

	Eowyn fell silent, leaving Rei to sweat.  Her pulse was 
pounding, and she could hear her heart beating.  "Maybe you 
wanted to forget it and somehow sealed away the 
memories."

	"But why?  Why would I want to forget?"

	"I don't know.  Maybe something hurt you badly at the 
end, the way...the way Eowyn was hurt."

	"Perhaps it was meant to hide me from the Moon's 
enemies," Usagi speculated.  She looked over at Rei.  "What's 
wrong?  You don't look so good."

	Don't hide on me now!  Were you and her lovers?  Rei 
shouted at Eowyn.

	There was only silence in reply. 

	I need to know!  I...

	Usagi put a hand on Rei's shoulder.  "What's wrong?  
Are you having another bad memory?  Rei-chan, say 
something."

	"She's hiding, and I don't know why," Rei said.

	"Who?"

	"Eowyn.  I wanted her to go before, but now...I need 
answers and she runs."

	"She'll come back," Usagi said.  

	"That's what I'm afraid of."

*************

	Ami's father sighed.  "What a mess.  I wish you didn't 
have to be in danger, Ami."

	"I have to fight to protect us all, Father," she said.

	"I know.  I know.  But I don't like it.  I just wish there 
was something I could do."

	"You're going to have to watch over Kasumi.  If Aunt 
and Uncle Tendo work for the Dark Kingdom now, they'll 
probably want her back," Ami said.  "And we need to tell her 
about this."

	"We can tell her tomorrow," he said.  "I want to spend 
some time to think about the best way to approach her."

	Ami nodded and got up.  "I'll just..."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
They heard Kasumi scream.

	Ami leaped to her feet, followed by her father, and they 
ran upstairs.

*****************

	There was an unconscious pig in the hallway, and 
Kasumi clutching a towel around herself in the doorway to 
the bathroom when the rescue brigade arrived.  "You stupid 
pig!  What di...oh, hi, Uncle."  She blushed.

	Ami rushed over to the poor little pig.  "What'd you do 
to him?"

	"He tried to get in the bathtub with me,"  Kasumi said.  
"I was half-asleep in it, so I guess he didn't see me, but..."  
She took a deep breath and let it out.  "Is he yours?"

	"Well, I'm going to try to find out who he belongs to," 
Ami said.  "But right now, I guess I need to find somewhere 
for him to sleep tonight."

	"So it was just the pig?"  Ami's father asked.

	Kasumi looked embarrassed.  "I just sort of panicked 
when I heard movement and...I'm sorry.  I didn't need to hit 
him so hard."

	"Well, I'll just leave you to your bath," Ami's father 
said, turning to go.  "Goodnight, Kasumi."

	"Goodnight, Uncle."

****************

	Ryouga hated turning into a pig.  He really hated being 
hit by people while trying to get hot water, which was very 
hard for a small black piglet to get.  On the other hand, he 
didn't mind being cared for by a cute girl like the one who 
was putting a bandaid on his forehead.

	She smiled at him.  "You're such a cute little pig," she 
said.

	His knees weakened.  No one had ever called him cute 
before. 

	"It's a pity I'll have to give you back to your owner," 
Ami said.

	"Pigs are unsanitary," Luna said.  "And they grow up 
into uncute porkers."

	Ryouga the pig stared in shock.  A talking cat?  Okay, a 
boy who turned into a pig had no right to think that was 
weird, but...

	"He's from one of those tiny breeds," Ami said.  "He'll 
never get much bigger than this."  She smiled at Luna.  "You 
aren't jealous, are you?"

	"Of a fat, stupid pig?  Of course not," she said.

	"Luna, don't be so harsh."

	"Something about that pig makes my whiskers bristle,"  
Luna said.

	Ryouga the pig did his best to frown intently at the 
cat, but his face wasn't really made for frowning.  "Bwee."

	"Well, you can stay up tonight and keep watch on him if 
you want to," Ami said, now going over to her desk and 
folding a blanket into a small box.  "He'll be sleeping here."  
She picked him up with gentle hands, then put him in the box.  
"There you go.  A nice warm bed for you."

	No one has ever been so kind to me, he thought.  He 
felt like he'd been smitten with an arrow through the heart.  
If only I could get back to my man form and tell her how 
she...how she makes me feel, he thought.  "Bwee!"  The 
thought was so overwhelming that he passed out.

	Once Ami was sure he hadn't just dropped dead, she 
said, "Luna, do you think I should..."

	"Should what, Ami?"  Luna asked.

	Ami came over and sat down on the bed.  "Call Ryo and 
ask if he'd like to go on the...group thing tomorrow."

	"Sure,"  Luna said.  "I'm sure everyone else will have a 
date."

	Her eyes widened.  "Well, I mean, it's not like a date or 
anything, it's just a group of people having fun..."

	"And it will give you someone to talk to who isn't after 
Ranma."

	Ami laughed.  "True.  Okay, then I'll call him."  She went 
over to the phone and stared at it.

	"It doesn't bite."

	"What if he says no?"

	"Then he says no."

	"But...I mean..."  Ami reached for the phone, then 
pulled her hand back.  "Maybe I should just stay home and do 
my..."

	"Do you really want to?"

	"No."

	"Then call him," Luna said.  "Don't make me do it for 
you."

	Ami gulped, picked up the phone, and started to dial, 
then hung up.  "I can't."

	Luna went over, batted the phone off the hook and 
began punching numbers.  "I wonder if I can still fake voices 
as well as I used to be able to?"

	"Luna!"  Ami grabbed the phone, just in time to hear 
someone pick up the other end.  

	"Hello?"

	"Uh...hi...is Sho...I mean Ryo....there?"

	"Hold on."

	Ami almost hung up while she had to wait, but Luna 
blocked the phone cradle with her body, and as she waited, 
her panic receded.  

	"Hi, this is Ryo."

	"Hi, Ryo, some friends of mine are going to a movie 
and...stuff tomorrow.  Want to come with us?"

	"Sure!" he said.  "What time?"

	"Be here at six," she said.

	"Okay, I will be."

	"Okay, see you then!"  Ami said.  "Bye!"  She hung up 
and flopped back on her bed.

	"See, that wasn't so bad."

	"That was worse than being knocked out by Jadeite.  
But..."  Her voice had a tiny hint of triumph.  "He said yes!"

	"Hmm...did you tell your father about me?"

	"Yes.  But Kasumi doesn't know.  We'll tell her 
tomorrow."

	"Good.  I can watch over them while you're gone 
tomorrow evening.  I'll call you if anything happens."

	Ami's eyes widened.  "I didn't think of that.  Beryl 
might send her people while I'm on the...group thing!"

	"Or while you're at school.  We have to be alert, 
but...go on the date anyway.  They may not even know where 
your father lives."

	I hope not, Ami thought.

***************

	"You really didn't need to call me just because she was 
scared by a pig," Tourmaline said to Californium.  

	Californium, who was tall, blue haired, and slightly ugly 
in a dignified way, said, "Well, given the genius who planted 
the observation crystal put it in the BATHROOM, it's the 
most significant thing I've seen all day, other than that the 
older girl has really big..."

	Tourmaline frowned at him.  "I didn't give you this job 
to stare at people's breasts."

	"It's a bathroom.  Naked people come with the 
territory.  And I can't move the viewpoint through the walls, 
so I'm stuck with it.  Someone buggered up the observation 
crystal."  He shrugged.  "The pig had a magic aura."

	Tourmaline was dubious.  "A magic pig tried to get in 
the tub."

	"Hey, I'm just telling you what I saw!"

	She sighed.  "Carry on."

	As she left and headed for bed, she tried to decide 
what she was going to do next.  She couldn't let Beryl sweep 
the rest of her relatives into this, but there was no way to 
stop it without exposing her plans too early.  And if this 
green-haired woman really knew where Endymion 
was...Things were going to come to a head far too soon.  

	At least Margaret seems to be doing her job, she 
thought.  The mere fact that Feldspar is willing to date 
someone is a good sign.  In fact, I've rarely seen her so 
excited.  I wish...

	If wishes were horses, Beryl would have filled the Dark 
Kingdom with stables by now, she thought.  Perhaps I 
should...no, it's too risky, she thought.  But I may have no 
choice.  I don't even know if it would work for anyone else 
the way it did for me...but I may have to try.  

	Beryl's head appeared next to her, and she jumped.  
"Tourmaline, attend me at once."

	"Yes, my queen," she said.

	Beryl looked her up and down, taking in her plain black 
dress.  "So you do mourn him."

	"He was a brave warrior."  She kept her face carefully 
nuetral.  If Beryl got the idea she intended to rebel because 
of this, she would swiftly die, she knew.

	"He was a fool," she said sharply, then her face 
softened a little.  "But I know he would be glad to know you 
cared.  Now come to the Opaline room."

	Beryl's head vanished, leaving her surprised.  She 
swiftly hurried to the Opaline room, which was an oval 
chamber made of pure opal.  A table which was fused with 
the floor and three chairs were the only decor.  Beryl sat at 
one of them and pointed to another.

	"I have a special mission for you, Tourmaline.  Although 
I begin to suspect you won't be up to it."  She glanced at 
Tourmaline's dress.  "Your taste for flirtation seems fled."

	"You want me to seduce someone?"  Tourmaline asked 
in surprise.

	"I have come upon an idea.  Your energy collection 
operation largely runs itself, does it not?"

	Tourmaline nodded yes.

	"Good.  What I want you to do is to create a cover 
identity for yourself, then pose as a member of the Seven 
Thunders and infiltrate the Senshi."

	Tourmaline's eyes widened.  "One of the Seven 
Thunders?"

	"Yes," she said.  "I understand you have a cover 
identity as a normal girl of your age in place that you've used 
to do some investigation of your relatives who we are about 
to recruit.  I believe that's what your mother told me."

	Tourmaline twitched.  "Yes.  I could have her 'turn out 
to be' one of the Seven Thunders.  But isn't one of them 
already working with the Senshi?"

	Beryl frowned.  "Hmm.  She might see through it.  Well, 
I'm sure you can think of something appropriate.  Your 
lightning powers would be quite useful for posing as one of 
the Thunders, though."

	"Alright, my queen, I'll begin at once, and let you know 
once I figure out the best identity.  Perhaps I could kidnap 
the one they already have and take her place."

	"Even better," Beryl said.  "They'll already trust her, 
although maintaining her identity may get tricky.  I'll leave 
that to your discretion.  The other part of what I want you 
to do is to seduce Ruby."

	Tourmaline stared at her in disbelief for a few 
seconds.  "What, the fellow who..."

	"The Guardian of Saturn.  His time powers could be 
invaluable to us.  You will bring him to me, by hook or by 
crook."

	"That won't be easy; my spies indicate he seems to 
have several of the Senshi and their allies after him."

	"If you could win Jadeite's heart away after him pining 
for his fallen lover for so long, this should be easy," Beryl 
said.  "Go to it."

	She rose and bowed.  "As you command, my queen."

	Once she was in the privacy of her room, she flopped 
down on her bed and contemplated just taking a fistful of 
gems and running away to Europe.  I couldn't seduce Ranma 
if I wanted to, she thought.  I wouldn't live through the 
effort, and I don't think I'd succeed unless I...  The faint 
glimmerings of a plan began to surface, and she clung to 
them as if the jumbled ideas were a life raft.  It wasn't a 
very good plan, but it would have to do for a start.

**************

	The door to Rei's room flew open.  A panda burst in, 
grabbed Usagi from the futon, and threw her out the window, 
then leaped after her.  Rei sat up just in time to hear the 
brawl start.  Running to the window, she shouted, "Mr. 
Saotome, what are you DOING?"

	What he was doing was pressing Usagi hard across the 
yard, right over the tents that Shampoo, Ranma, and Ukyou 
were sleeping in.  Three howls of shock, pain, and irritation 
went up, followed by Genma-Panda pausing, rubbing his eyes, 
pointing at Usagi, and saying "Growf?"

	Rei watched as four martial artists closed in on the 
panda and pummelled him across the yard, then sighed.  "I 
guess he didn't even bother to check WHO was sleeping in my 
room."

**************

	"Hmm, I think that's a good idea, Ranma," Setsuna said 
to Ranma while they were out in the hallway for being late.  
Ranma wondered if she had really been late, or if she'd 
deliberately been late just so she could get sent to the hall 
with him.  "I will talk to Rei when we gather for 
tonight's...outing."

	"Huh...oh, that,"  Ranma said.  "Long as we don't go to 
some sappy romance movie, that should be a lot of fun."

	"I was thinking Time Raiders myself."

	"Yeah, that ought to be seriously cool."  He paused, 
then laughed.  "Maybe we can get some tips from it."

	She smiled, and he felt himself go quivery for a 
moment, then wondered if it was his own quiver or Ruby's.  
"Do you have time to come over to my place tomorrow?  I 
have some ideas for a few tricks we might be able to do 
together."

	"Yeah, once I finish my homework, no problem."

	"Hmmm..."  She looked thoughtful, then put down one 
of her buckets and balanced the other one on her head.  
"Now something like this would make good balance practice 
for you.  See how long you can stay dry."

	"We could use brooms and see who could knock off 
whose bucket first."

	"Mops."

	Ranma laughed again.  "Better get that off your head 
before the teacher comes out, though."

	She moved out of the way just as the door opened, and 
the teacher came out.  "Stop playing around!"  He said, 
pointing at Setsuna.  "This isn't...nice balance, but stop 
playing around."  He then popped back out of sight.

	Setsuna frowned.  "I should have seen that coming with 
more warning.  But..."  She fell silent, staring at the floor.  
This caused her bucket to fall, dousing her.  "..."

	Ranma slapped his forehead.  Still holding the bucket.  
"Oh just great," he muttered as he transformed.  "This is 
just brain damage day."

	"With my staff broken, my powers have weakened," 
Setsuna said.  "I can barely see a few seconds ahead, and I 
think my main attack is weaker too,"  she said, her voice 
faint.  "It scares me, Ranma."

	"We'll make you a new one once we find the Crystal," 
Ranma-chan said.  "So don't worry about it.  It ain't like you 
lost your powers completely."

	"I'll get you some hot water," she said. 

	"Thanks," Ranma-chan said.   

	"So why were you late anyway?"  Setsuna asked when 
she got back.

	"Got held up pounding my old man flat.  He held off all 
four of us longer than I thought he could.  Then he stole my 
breakfast.  And my school uniform.  And my homework."  
Ranma-chan doused herself with the hot water, quickly 
transforming.  "He attacked Usagi first by mistake, and 
things got out of hand.  She was in Rei's room instead of me, 
and she's got her hair dyed red right now, and..."  Ranma 
shivered, feeling cold in wet clothing.

	"Hmm, if your wet clothing turns cold, will that 
transform you?"

	"Naah, I'd never be able to stay a boy very long if it 
worked like that.  Eating hot soup won't make me a boy 
either, unless I pour it on me."

	The door opened and the teacher stuck his head out.  
"Clean up that mess on the floor!"  Then he was gone again.

	"..."

	Ranma stuck his tongue out at the door, which opened 
in his face.

	"Don't stick out your tongue at me, Saotome."  Slam!

	"..."

	"I'll go get us two mops, Ranma."

************

	Ranma watched the mob gather and wondered if they'd 
be able to avoid a brawl.  Ken, seated next to him and 
dressed fairly nicely in slacks and a light blue buttoned up 
shirt with a tie, said, "I envy you, man."

	"That's 'cause you're insane," Ranma replied, watching 
Ami come up the steps along with Naoko and some guy he 
didn't know.  "At least neither of them will hit on me 
tonight."

	Ken looked around.  "I keep wondering if Tsubasa's 
already here disguised as something."

	"You sure bringing him's a good idea?"

	"Hey, he wanted to come, and he can be a nice guy 
when he's not a shrub.  I told him not to try anything funny.  
And besides, you wanted more guys, right?"

	"Yeah.  Hasukawa-kun had a date, and so did Shun and 
Shinobu.  And that about sums up everyone I knew well 
enough and could trust on something like this.  So I guess 
you and Tsubasa will have to be it."

	Ami, Naoko, and the guy reached where Usagi and Rei 
were discussing the night's plans.    Usagi waved Ranna and 
Ken over to meet Ryo.  "Nice to meet you," Ryo said.

	"Nice to meet ya," Ranma replied.  

	An engine revved, and Haruka emerged up the steps on 
her motorcycle.  She parked it and vaulted off, dressed in 
her usual fairly male garb.  In fact, she was dressed almost 
identically to Ken except for also wearing a motorcycle 
jacket and helmet.  "I'm not late, am I?"

	"No, Ukyou's still getting dressed, Setsuna isn't here 
yet, and Tsubasa hasn't shown up yet," Ranma said.  

	"Setsuna'll be here in a second.  I passed her on the 
way up," Haruka said.  "And there's a salt shaker coming up 
the stairs."

	"..."

	"That must be Tsubasa.  Was it human sized with a 
plunger stuck to the top?"  Ken inquired.

	"Yeah."

	Ken sighed.  "'But Ken, Daleks aren't supposed to be 
funny'," he said, mimicking a higher pitched voice.  "Geez."

	"There was some guy in a long coat with a brightly 
colored scarf as well.  Kinda light brown hair, about Ken's 
height..."

	"Hey, THAT's Tsubasa," Ken said.  "Wait...he can't get 
his Dalek costume up stairs...it runs on wheels."

	Setsuna came into sight.  "Hello, everyone!"

	"Hey, did you see someone in a Dalek costume coming 
up the stairs?"  Ken asked.

	Her eyes widened.  "A Dalek costume?"

	"What's a Dalek?"  Ranma asked.

	"It's from this British show...long story," Ken said.

	Jerkily, something metal that resembled a giant salt-
shaker with a plunger stuck near the top rose into sight.  
"EXTER..."  it began in a metallic voice, then toppled over.  
"Dammit, I can't walk in this....aaaaaaaaaaaaaa........"  It 
began to roll down the stairs.  Everyone ran for the stairs, 
and a second later, there was a second howl.

	Tsubasa, clad in a tan trenchcoat, hat, and a long 
colorful scarf, had just been rolled over by an accelerating 
psuedo-Dalek.  He lay, arms akimbo, whimpering, while it 
plunged down out of sight.  Ranma ran after it and managed 
to catch it before it went all the way to the bottom.  "Hey, 
man, you okay in there?"

	A very pale boy with large spooky eyes and short dark 
hair climbed out of the twisted wreckage.  "I told Tsubasa 
this would be a bad joke....ow ow ow ow ow!!!!"  

	Naru came into view.  "Hi, Ranma.  Hey, is that you, 
Spooky?"

	"Don't call me Spooky," he muttered.  "My name is 
Gosunkugi Hikaru."

	"I thought your family moved to Osaka!"  she said, 
coming over.  "Did someone put you in this...hey, what's this 
plunger doing here?"

	Usagi came down and joined them while everyone else 
was peeling Tsubasa off the stairs.  "Hi, I'm Usagi."

	Gosunkugi rubbed his eyes and looked at Naru.  "What 
are you doing here?"

	"Usagi invited me to come on this outing," she said.  
"What are you doing here?"

	"Tsubasa asked me to help him with a prank and..."  He 
noticed Usagi.  "You...you look familiar."

	"Spooky!"  Usagi hugged him, and he went stiff.  "It's 
me, Usagi!"

	"I thought you went to China and died."

	"You two know this guy?"  Ranma asked.  

	"I haven't seen him in four years, but yeah, we all went 
to the same primary schools,"  Naru said.  

	"I've been boarding at Blue Sky for about two years 
now," Gosunkugi said weakly.  "Didn't your hair used to be 
blonde, Usagi?"

	"I dyed it,"  Usagi said.  "So I could look like Naru."

	Naru laughed.  "Gonna get a perm too, then?"

	Geez, I wonder how big this group is gonna get, Ranma 
thought.

***********

	A little later, everyone else was up the stairs and 
ready to go, except that Ukyou still hadn't come out.  "Geez, 
is she getting plastic surgery or something?"  Ranma asked.  
"Rei, you'd better go make sure Pop didn't attack her again 
or something."

	"Aren't you hot in that?"  Ken asked Tsubasa.

	"But I look cool, and that's what matters."

	Well, at least you look like a human in that, he thought.

	Rei started for the building, just as Ukyou swept out 
onto the porch of the temple.  Ranma stared in shock.  She 
was wearing a long purple dress trimmed with gold along the 
seams and edges.  It was scoop cut in front, showing off her 
tanned skin, and barely clinging to her shoulders.  The 
sleeves formed great cones down to her elbows, leaving her 
forearms bare, although long gloves covered much of that.  
The skirt was wide and went down nearly to her ankles, 
leaving only her feet in purple pumps visible.  From each of 
her ears hung a tiny golden sword studded with an amethyst 
in the hilt.  The overall effect was magnficient, marred only 
by the fact that she hadn't done a very good job on her 
makeup, which didn't match with itself or the dress well.

	It was easy to see a wave of 'I'm underdressed' 
sweeping across the women present, and a wave of teen 
hormones sweep across the men present.  Haruka simply did 
a wolf whistle, making Ukyou blush.  Ken stared, as did Ryo 
and Gosunkugi.  And Tsubasa...

	"My only love!!!  I HAVE FOUND YOU AGAIN!"  He shouted, 
running towards her.  "Last time I forgot to tell you my 
name!  I'm Kurenai Tsubasa!  MARRY ME!"  He paused.  "Hey, 
you're female."

	Ukyou instinctively punted him across the yard.  "Who 
on Earth is THAT?"

	"Uh, that's my roommate,"  Ken said.  "Tsubasa, don't 
be a whacko!  Bad enough you're trying to turn this into a 
cosplay."  He marched over and grabbed Tsubasa.  "Try that 
again and I'll put you in that stupid Dalek costume and roll 
you down the stairs."

	"But...she...my one true love!"

	"I bet she loves Dalek bowling."

	"I'd be happy to take a fall for her!"

	"Do you even know her name?"

	"I don't need to know her name!  Across a thousand 
lifetimes, I will recognize the one I have always loved!  Even 
after a sex change!"

	Ukyou heard that and paled.  Oh no, not him....

	Ranma's eyes flared, as did Setsuna and Rei's.  They all 
turned and stared at him.

	"What's everyone looking at me funny for?"

	"You said that about Shinobu too."

	"Yes, but I jumped the gun that time.  I didn't think 
anyone but the one I love could hate me that much."

	"Tsu, you're seriously weird, man," Ken said.

	You make me feel normal sometimes, Gosunkugi 
thought.

	"I am not going anywhere with HIM!"  Ukyou said.

	"Look, I'll keep him in check, okay?  He's not so bad 
when doesn't do stupid stuff.  Which I admit isn't very often, 
but..."

	"HEY!"

	"Look, promise you won't jump on her and start 
screaming Ukyou-sama or nothing, okay?"  Ken said.

	"I promise," Tsubasa said.

	Ken let go of him.

	Ukyou tensed, but he didn't jump.  She went over to 
Ranma.  "How do I look?"

	"Uh...I think you look great, but I mean...we're just 
going to the movies and maybe dancing or something."

	"Let's get moving!"  Usagi said.  "Or we'll miss the 
movie!"

***************

	Shampoo found Mamoru over at Kunou's house, busily 
sparring with him with bokken.  She watched them from a 
tree for a while.  Mamoru had talent, but Kunou had more 
training and experience.  After Mamoru's fourth thrashing, 
she dropped down.

	"Hello, future groom.  You think you be ready for 
match soon?"

	"I don't have time for your weird games," he said.  
"Michiru's been kidnapped by...some sort of sorceress."

	Shampoo frowned.  "Dark Kingdom?"

	"We don't know.  They were at the racetrack,"  Kunou 
said.

	Shampoo's eyes widened.  "It is Dark Kingdom.  Come 
with me; Shampoo knows people who can help you."

	"Lead on," Kunou said.  "Perhaps the gods have sent 
you to aid our quest, or perhaps it is merely my family luck, 
but I think perhaps this is the break we have hoped for."

	It beats another thrashing, Mamoru thought.

	Now, all we have to do is search the 
downtown...Shampoo knows they'll be around there 
somewhere...what movie theatre were they going to?,  
Shampoo asked herself.

***************

	Feldspar checked her dress for the fifteenth time 
while riding in Margaret's car.  "Are you sure this suits me?"

	"Yes.  And Gurio's not very picky, anyway."  Margaret 
prayed Umino wouldn't show up in his 'Arabian Shiek' outfit to 
this date.  She'd told his mother what she should force him 
to wear, but Umino had a knack for evading such things.  

	"Are you sure we'll make it to the movie in time?"

	"Yes."

	"Are you going to kill me if I ask again?"

	"Yes.  His house is down the street; I'll get you two to 
the theatre in time, but you're on your own after that."

	"So what's he like?"

	"It'll be more fun if it's a surprise," Margaret said.  
"But I'm sure you'll like him."  If he hasn't decided he's James 
Bond, Jr. again, anyway, she thought.

***************

	Ranma, by pre-arrangement with Haruka and Ken, 
prevented one potential riot.  Haruka sat to his left, Ken to 
his right.  This displeased four of the women present equally, 
but favored none unfairly.  Ranma found himself getting a 
little tense from watching Tsubasa flirt unsuccessfully with 
Ukyou and Ken trying his luck with Rei.  On the other hand, 
watching Haruka flirt with Usagi he found to be rather 
amusing.  

	The movie was pretty good, although the theatre 
smelled funny, like some maniac had dumped three quarts of 
violet scented perfume into the air conditioning.  About two 
thirds of the way through the movie, just as 
Schwarzenegger was trying to prevent Millard Fillmore being 
assassinated, he realized that Naoko had been giving him 
funny looks the entire evening.  

	Man, if she's about to throw her hat in the ring, I'm 
gonna scream, Ranma thought.  He resolved to ignore the 
very existence of women until the movie was over.

	A flashlight played across his face, and he frowned at 
the usher, who seemed to be busy amusing herself shining it 
up and down his row.  The woman was a ditzy looking blonde 
about the same age as him.  She waved, then moved on, 
finally seating a couple further down.

	What kinda whackoes show up two thirds of the way 
through a movie?  he asked himself, then decided to ignore 
that too, although the heavy scents in the air were starting 
to make his head swim.  The couple got up and chased after 
the usher on her way out, but he ignored them.  C'mon, 
Schwarzenegger, let's see some ass kicking, he thought.

**************

	"You seated us in the wrong movie!"  Umino shouted at 
the usher, who ignored him and kept going.  Today, Umino 
was wearing a nice dark blue suit.

	Feldspar sighed.  "Just let her go.  She'd likely seat us 
in the wrong movie again."  And I think Margaret dropped us 
off at the wrong theatre too.

	Still, the evening is young, she thought.  Maybe things 
will pick up.  "Let's just go see our movie."

	"You sure?"  he asked.  "I can punish her for you."

	Feldspar laughed.  "Let's just go see our movie."

	"That one room smelled funny, anyway."  He took off 
his glasses and rubbed his eyes.  "Makes my eyes water, 
too."
	
	She took a look at him, and started.  He was quite 
handsome with his glasses off; she hadn't realized quite how 
thick and distorting they were.  

	"Is something wrong?"  he asked, putting them back 
on.

	"Nothing.  I just...nothing."  She looked around, just in 
time to see the usher strip off her uniform and dart off in a 
ninja outfit.  "..."

	Umino stared.  "Now I'm seeing things.  C'mon, I think 
it's this way."

*************

	Luna asked herself why she was following a little black 
pig around the house.  There was just something about him 
that aroused her suspicions, but she couldn't think of what it 
might be.  

	The piglet wandered onto the porch and hopped onto a 
padded chair, watching Kasumi, who was practicing katas in 
the backyard under the stars.  She danced about a practice 
dummy, pounding it to pieces in seconds.

	Luna leaped up on the table and watched her.  It's like a 
dance, but lethal, Luna thought.  I think we should see about 
getting her to train everyone...although she'd probably end 
up fighting Ranma too much.  

	Kasumi stopped and came over, smiling at them, 
petting first the little black pig, then Luna.  "It's nice to see 
you two getting along."  She shook her head.  "The way you 
look at me, I'd almost think you could talk, Luna."  Laughing, 
she sat down in another chair.  "But I'm glad you can't, so 
you can't tell anyone the things we tell you.  Do you have a 
boyfriend, Luna?"

	No, she thought.  But I can't tell you that.

	"Me neither.  But I've been thinking...about Dr. Tofu.  
But I keep worrying whether he'd think I'm too...macho."  She 
looked down at her hands.  "I realized the other day how 
rough my hands are."

	Luna jumped into her lap and rubbed against her, doing 
her best to be reassuring.  Kasumi petted her.  "You have 
nice, soft fur.  I'd probably have rough fur with split ends if I 
was a cat."  She sighed.  

	Mr. Mizuno stepped out on the porch.  "Well, if you like 
him, you should let him know."

	Kasumi started and the chair toppled backwards.  She 
instinctively flipped out of it, still holding Luna.  "You're 
awfully good at being sneaky, Uncle."

	He laughed.  "When I was little, I used to sneak up 
behind your mother and dump a bucket over her head if I got 
mad at her.  Then she'd chase me and hold my head under 
the hose.  Even in the middle of winter one time.  I'm just 
naturally quiet I guess.  Speaking of your mother..."  He 
stared at the porch.  "I don't know how to say this."

	"Say what?"  She came over to him.  "Have you heard 
from her?  What's going on?"

	"Your mother is working for Beryl now," Luna said.  
"Along with your sisters."

	Kasumi started and dropped Luna.  "She...you talked!"

	Luna sighed.  "It just gets stranger from here on out."

	"Let me explain from the beginning," Mr. Mizuno said.

*************

	Mother Nature had a present for Ranma and his 
friends  when they got outside; a surprise thunderstorm.  
"Guess we'll have to run for it,"  Haruka said.

	Ranma sighed; well, most of them already know about 
my curse, but I dunno what all the guys are gonna think.  He 
noticed Rei looking over at him and shrugged.  Nothing to be 
done.  "Ken."

	"Eh?"

	"This is gonna be weird, but..."  He stepped out into the 
rain and transformed to get it over with.

	Ken stared, his eyes wide.  Gosunkugi fainted.  
Tsubasa studied Ranma-chan carefully.  Ryo whipped out a 
small umbrella and opened it.  Ken said, "What the..."

	"Curse.  China.  Long and tragic story."  Ranma-chan 
sighed.  

	"Damn, you're fine!"  Ken paused.  "I mean...uh...I'll just 
shut up now."

	Ami and Naru helped Gosunkugi back up.  He smiled at 
Ami nervously.  "Thank you."

	"You're welcome.  Do you still feel dizzy?"

	"No, I just..."  He stared at Ranma-chan.  "What..."

	"Let's go to a coffee shop or something and wait for 
the rain to stop, so I don't have to go dance like this," 
Ranma-chan said.

	"I know a good place," Naoko said.  "Follow me."

*************

	The decor of the coffee shop was good, and it smelled 
great, but the waitress was a space case.  She cocked her 
blonde head for the fifth time.  "That's five depressos, two 
cappuchin monks, a flappuchino, a coke, a root beer, two 
glasses of water, and a mug of coco puffs."

	Haruka frowned at the woman.  "Are you drunk?"

	"No, I'm just new at this."

	"This being thinking," Rei muttered.

	Naoko twitched.  "Here, I'll write it."  She wrote out the 
orders.  "Now, just get us our coffee, okay?"

	The waitress bounced off, and Rei said, "Thank you, 
Naoko."

	"Oh wait, we need to get hot water for Ranma," Naru 
said.

	"I'll just ask when she comes back," Ranma-chan said.  
"I think her brain would burst if we added something else."

	"That would require she HAVE a brain," Rei said.

	She soon returned with several scented candles and all 
the drinks.  She placed the candles, lit them, then began 
serving the drinks.  Usagi smelled the candle scent, and it 
seemed familar.  

	Shampoo arrived, much to everyone's surprise, with 
Mamoru and Kunou in tow.  "Shampoo glad to finally find you!  
We had to search half the buildings in Juuban, it felt like.  
Hate to disrupt date, but..."  She looked around at the people 
she didn't know.  Quickly, she tried to think of a clever way 
to get only those in the know away from the table.  

	"Would you like a drink?"  the waitress asked her.

	"Coffee," she said.  

	"And you?"  she asked the two men.

	"Espresso, please," Mamoru said.

	"Nothing for me," Kunou said, then stepped forward.  
"The warrior maiden says you may be of assistance in 
recovering my kidnapped lady love."  He paused and sniffed 
the air.  "Lilacs?"

	Ken blinked.  "What?"

	Right as the waitress was about to leave, Usagi finally 
recognized the scent.  "Hey, those are the candles for the 
second half of the Montesi Love Formula!  You're a tea house 
ninja!"  She pointed at Minako and blew out the candles.

	The waitress panicked.  "Ack, time for a ninja exit!"  
She whipped out a packet and threw it to the ground.  It 
burst in a huge cloud that engulfed everyone.  "Oh great, 
that was one of the first stage ingredient packages and...."  
Whack!  "Oww, who put that table here?"

	Everyone tried to get out of the cloud, smacking into 
tables, getting coated with dust and breathing it in.  Tables 
and chairs and teenagers flew everywhere.    

	Shampoo rolled out of the cloud, clutching the blonde 
ninja.  "You not get away from Shampoo."  Then her brain 
turned to mush.  "You seriously cute ninja."

	Minako, who had taken the antidote for the formula 
before using it, thanks to past experience, reached into a 
pocket and hit her panic button pager, then looked around.

	One of the red-heads, who she was fairly certain was 
the Ranma she was supposed to hook Naoko up with, was in 
fact making out with the blonde biker guy.  Hard to believe 
people can change sex, Minako thought, but I've seen 
weirder.  Not much weirder, though.

	The cute guy wearing a tie was holding hands with 
some creepy looking guy.  Three women (one black haired, 
two redheads) were making eyes at each other under one of 
the tables.  Naoko, who was supposed to have been hooked 
up with Ranma if all had gone well, was instead playing with 
the scarf that one guy was wearing and giggling.  In fact, it 
looked like everyone had been affected, some more than 
others.  Naoko's mom is going to kick my ass, Minako 
thought.

	Naoko stood up and said, "Hey, I know a love hotel that 
rents cheap!"

	"Oh baby YEAH!"  Ken shouted.  "C'mon, Hikaru-chan!  
Let's go get it on!"

	Gosunkugi blushed.  "But Ken-chan, everyone's staring 
at us."

	Shampoo hefted the hapless Minako over one shoulder.  
"Let's go!"

	Well, maybe once I get alone with her, I can give her 
the antidote, Minako thought.  C'mon, Konatsu, you'd better 
book it!

**************

	Feldspar was surprised to discover that Umino was a 
competent dancer.  Or perhaps it was simply that she 
herself was incompetent from a simple lack of experience.  
He boogied on down while she tried to find the rock the beat 
was hiding under.

	Then the music changed, and slow-dancing began.  That 
was easier to cope with.  He asked, "What school do you go 
to?"

	"Uhh...Torio," she said; it was the only one she could 
think of.

	"Oooh, that's a nice school," he said.  "And it's got a 
college so you don't have to pass an exam."

	"Yeah," she said, wondering what he was talking about.  
I thought people took lots of exams in high school.  "How 
about you?"

	"Juuban High School.  My family can't afford a fancy 
school."

	"But you're really smart."  Too smart, she thought.  
He'd given her a spontaneous lecture on the history of dance 
on the way over.

	"Scholarship money is tight, and I'm trying to save 
money for college.  So where do you hope to go to college?"

	"I don't know."

	"Well, you'd better start thinking.  You're a sophmore 
like me, right?"

	"Yeah."  I guess, she thought.

	"Well, only two more years, and then you'll need to 
choose.  Gotta start positioning yourself now."  

	In two more years, we'll rule the world.  Although I bet 
you'd make Sardonyx a good apprentice, Feldspar thought.  
I'll have to ask him about that.  Sister could probably use you 
as well.  "Thanks for the advice."

	The first slow song stopped, and another one started.  
They kept dancing.  "So what do you think about the Sailor 
Senshi?"  he asked.  "I think they're cool, but they need to 
hire more guys to have a more balanced team, before 
someone sues them."

	For a moment, she wondered if he knew who she really 
was, then decided it was probably just his ineffable 
Uminoness that led him to bring this up.  "I think they're all 
men in drag."  Let's see how far that rumor goes, she 
thought.

	His eyes widened.  "I never thought of that!  What 
about Saturn?"

	"Cross-dressing woman, like Uranus, but better at it."

	"Ahah, that explains that one picture..." he said.  
"What about the Senshi's cleavage, though?"

	"They wear the bows to hide that it's all just padding."  
Feldspar had to fight to not laugh.  "Or maybe they got 
inflatable breast implants.  When passing as men, they just 
let the air out."

	"Wow, you've really studied this carefully!"  he said.  
"Once we're done, mind repeating it so I can take notes?"

	"I'd love to," she said, smiling impishly.

**************

	"No!  You're lying!  My parents would never work for an 
evil queen from another dimension!"  Kasumi shouted.

	"She's my sister!  Do you think I'd lie about her?"  Mr. 
Mizuno replied sharply.  "Somehow they got sent there, 
probably by that old nut who trained your father, and now 
Beryl has them.  If you see them, you can't trust them."

	"No!  No!  No!  My father would NEVER do that!"  Kasumi 
said.  "It's a lie!"

	"It's not a lie," Luna said.

	"Shut up!  You're just a cat!  You could be trying to 
trick us!"

	Luna sighed.  "Just ask Ami when she gets home."

	Kasumi sat down hard.  "It can't be true.  It can't!"

	"I'm afraid it is."  Mr. Mizuno said.  "And I don't really 
know what to do about it."

**************

	Minako had to admit the place was fairly classy as love 
hotels went.  The room was nicely furnished, the bed was 
comfortably springy and clean, and the attached bathroom 
had a full set of facilities and clean towels.  It was however, 
devoid of good excuses to avoid making out with Shampoo.  

	Shampoo sat down on the bed, testing it, then began 
taking off her dress.  "This Shampoo's first time with a 
ninja."

	Ahah!  That's it, Minako thought.  "First, we have to 
share a secret ninja potion.  Law of my clan."

	"Okay, my love," Shampoo said.  

	Minako came over and sat down by her.  She pulled out 
the small vial of fluid.  "Take a sip of this."

	Shampoo drank most of the bottle.  "Wow, that tastes 
great!  Your turn."

	Oh great, she thought.  "Umm...now I drink."  Please 
work quickly, Mr. Antidote, she thought.  She very, very 
slowly lifted the bottle to her lips, and faked a deep draught, 
actually drinking none of it.  Looks like that course in faking 
sake consumption is paying off, she thought.  

	Then she remembered the antidote took about ten 
minutes to kick in.  

	Hmm, time to see if I remember how to fake a heart 
attack convincingly.  She stoppered the bottle, then clutched 
her chest and toppled over.  "No...ack...heart attack!  Bury 
me at Tippecanoe!"  

	Shampoo laughed.  "Very funny.  If that was poison, 
Shampoo would be dead now.  Shampoo have to tickle you 
into submission, she sees."

	It wasn't very hard to tickle Minako into submission.  
Shampoo leaned down to kiss her, and then her eyes 
widened.  "Oh no."

	"I'm really sorry!  I was just trying to help Naoko; her 
mother hired me to try and help her get over this guy she 
liked by getting her together with someone else and I sort of 
overdid it, please don't kill me!"

	Shampoo sat up and frowned.  "Shampoo kill you later.  
How much antidote you got?"

	"You drank most of it."

	"Shampoo kill Shampoo later.  You know how to make 
more?"

	"Well, it only really works well when you drink it.  So 
the stuff will wear off fairly soon, since it took us a good 
fifteen minutes or so to walk over here."

	"How soon is soon?"

	"Umm...probably not soon enough.  But Konatsu will 
have more antidote when he gets here."

	"Hmm, Shampoo have to use all purpose antidote."

	"What's that?"

	Shampoo hefted a bonbori.  "A good nap."

	"I'll use my knockout gas.  It's more humane."

	"Let's go."

******************

	Setsuna sat in Ryo's lap as he nervously kissed her.  
"Don't be afraid.  I like you too," she said.  "You're so tense, 
my love.  What's wrong?"

	"I'm just nervous because I know at some point, 
Shampoo's going to burst through the door and whack me in 
the head.  But I'm not sure exactly when."

	Her eyes widened.  "You're right.  Me too.  But I think 
we're wearing less clothing at that point."

	"Oh, well, if we keep our clothing on..."

	"We won't get hit in the head.  But then it won't be as 
fun."

	They stared at each other for a moment, then both 
said, "Who am I to fight fate?"  They ripped off each other's 
shirts.

	A second later, the door flew open and twin bonbori 
knocked them both out.  They rolled over and fell off the 
bed.

	Minako said, "Hey, you didn't let me try my knock out 
gas!"

	"Shampoo heard them through the door.  Who is she to 
fight fate?"

****************

	"Hikaru!"

	"Ken!"

	"Hikaru!"

	"Ken!"

	Minako paused outside the door.  "I'm afraid to open 
this one."

	"Shampoo fear nothing."  She opened the door, then 
slammed it.  "Shampoo fear almost nothing.  But Shampoo 
not looking again ever."  She shuddered.  "Buddha preserve 
us."

	Minako peeked, then paled.  "Wrestling costumes?  
Where did they...."  Without looking a second time, she 
opened the door and tossed in a knockout bomb. 

	"Hik...ack..."  

	Two bodies slumped and hit the floor.

	"Shampoo was wondering more about the peanut 
butter, but..."

	"We'll come back and get them later, right?"

	"MUCH later."

****************

	"No, temptress, do not seek to turn me from my fair 
Michiru!"  Kunou said, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

	Ami kissed his cheek again.  "But...I...I mean...you're 
really..."  She blushed.  "I know I shouldn't be so bold, but..."

	"Someone has placed foul sorcery upon us, and I know 
that if I open my eyes, I shall fall under its sway again.  
Blessed gods of heaven, bring me deliverance!"  Kunou 
shouted.

	Minako opened the door.  "I don't think you'd like a river 
raft trip through the back country.  But here, have some 
knockout gas."

	They were soon deep asleep.

*************

	They found Tsubasa and Naoko both topless on one of 
the beds, making out intensely.  "Oh, yes, kiss my...ack, 
someone's watching us!"  Naoko shrieked.

	Minako hurled another bomb, but Tsubasa caught it and 
threw it back.  "We didn't order room service."

	Minako and Shampoo got a face full of it and quietly 
slumped to the ground.  

	Tsubasa and Naoko stared at them for a few seconds, 
then Tsubasa said, "This isn't supposed to be part of the 
standard room package, is it?"

	"Umm...I don't think so," Naoko said.

	He got out of the bed, wrapped the scarf round his 
face to serve as a gas mask, then shoved them out the 
door.  "This has been one weird day for me."

	"Me too.  I never realized I was in love with you before," 
she said.

	"Well, we'd never met before," he replied as he came 
back over.

	She cuddled up to him.  "That'll do it."  She ran a finger 
along his arm.  "Is this your first time?"

	"In two lifetimes, I think.  I was a virgin for all of my 
previous one."

	Her eyes widened.  "Really?"

	"I think.  But I only remember little snippets of that 
one, and most of that happens in dreams, so I might have 
forgotten.  But I wasted that life chasing someone I could 
never have.  Although at least we were both gay so it wasn't 
completely futile the way him chasing Ruby was, but...I'm 
sorry, I'm rambling about stuff I don't even really know for 
sure is true."  He sighed.

	"Well, you've got me now," she said.  "Now where were 
we?"

	"I'm not sure," he said faintly, looking embarrassed.  
"Today's the first time I ever had a fantasy about a woman, 
since I had assumed my old love would be a guy again this 
time, and I'm not sure what to do."

	"Well, I've never done it in this lifetime, so I...uh...we'll 
make it up as we go along, okay?"  Naoko blushed.

	"Okay."  

****************

	Konatsu found Minako and her friend in the hallway and 
quickly revived them with smelling salts.  "I told you taking 
this job was a BAD idea," he said.

	"But...I just wanted to help her...she looked so sad..."  
Minako blurted out.

	"So how many people did you dose?"

	"How...how did you know?"
	
	He sighed.  "This always happens.  I brought enough 
antidote for fifty people."

	"Let's split it up and get this road on the show,"  
Minako said.

	"Show on the road."

	"Whatever."

******************

	Shampoo opened the door and frowned at the scene 
before her.  Usagi, Rei, and Naru were tumbled together in a 
half-clad pile.  At least they didn't get past groping, 
Shampoo thought.  

	She came over, but they didn't notice her.  How am I 
going to get them to drink when they've got their tongues in 
each other's mouths, she asked herself.  

	Then they all noticed her and turned beet red.

	"Big sister!"  Usagi blurted out.

	Shampoo quickly poured some of the potion into her 
mouth, then into the other agape mouths.  A few seconds 
passed and then Naru sprang halfway across the room.  A 
few seconds after that, Rei shrieked and Usagi fell 
backwards off the bed.

	"Stupid ninja's fault.  She use love formula on 
everyone. Get dressed, then we go kill her."

	"Where's Ranma?"  Rei asked, grabbing her shirt.

	"Don't know yet.  But whatever happen, it's likely not 
his fault, so don't hurt him too much."

	"Love formula?"  Naru asked feebly.

	"Shampoo tell whole story later."

**************

	Haruka tugged frustratedly at the zipper on Ranma-
chan's pants.  "Dammit, it's stuck!"

	Ranma-chan leaned over and kissed her.  "Why don't 
you just cut it off with your knife?"

	"Because then you'd have to go home in your 
underwear after we're done."

	"We could just stay!"

	"Not at what they're charging we couldn't,"  Haruka 
said.  "You need to wear a skirt more often."

	"Okay!"  she giggled.  "I'd be..."  

	There was a loud howl that gradually faded.

	"Geez, someone's enjoying themsel..."  And then the 
potion kicked out.

	Haruka and Ranma-chan stared at each other 
nervously.  "We're both gonna die,"  Haruka said.

	"Maybe if we jump out the window and run..."

	"Well, if we're going to get in trouble anyway..."  
Haruka began.

	No way in hell!  Ruby shouted in Ranma-chan's head, 
startling her.  He almost never spoke when she was female.  

	A combination of the fact that she was still aroused, 
that it would piss off Ruby, and the logic of Haruka's 
argument brought Ranma-chan to the point where she was 
leaning down to kiss Haruka when Ukyou burst through the 
door.

	"Ran-chan, no!  You're under the effects of a love 
potion!  Don't do it!"

	Haruka, whose face was turned away from Ukyou, 
winked at Ranma-chan.  "But this is my one true love!  The 
one who I have longed for!  You can't have her!"  She turned 
and was gratified when Ukyou stared at her bare chest for a 
few seconds.  "Or you could just join us."

	Ukyou turned beet red.  "Join you?"

	Minako burst in, sprinted across the room, and along 
with Konatsu, fed the antidote to Haruka and Ranma-chan.  
"There, I got everyone except...has anyone seen that other 
guy?"
	
	"I sort of threw him out the window when I snapped out 
of it..."  Ukyou said embarrassedly.

	Shampoo, Usagi, Naru, and Rei arrived.  "Everyone's 
been given the antidote or has passed out."  She levelled a 
bonbori at Minako.  "Now Shampoo is going to pound you flat 
for causing this."

	"Ooops, I think I hear your mother calling!"  Minako 
shouted, throwing another packet at the ground.  It exploded 
in a cloud of smoke, and when it cleared, she was gone with 
Konatsu.

	Naoko staggered in, looking embarrassed.  "I...think I'm 
going to have to kill Mom when I get home."

	"You could say that," Shampoo said.  "You think she 
sent stupid ninja?"

	"She's my cousin.  Her family sold her to teahouse 
ninjas to pay a debt when she was little."  Half the people 
looked at her dubiously.

	Ranma-chan, on the other hand, said, "Yeah, that 
happens a lot."  The dubious ones stared at her.  "It does!"  
She hastily put her shirt back on.

	Ukyou sighed.  "Let's just go home.  Can you kick her 
ass for us later?"

	"She thinks she's like the angel of love or something," 
Naoko said, sighing.  "I'm really sorry about this."  She 
glanced over at Ranma-chan nervously.

	"It ain't your fault.  Let's all just go home."

*************

	Ami and Ryo got off at the same stop and walked down 
the street.  They'd both been too hideously embarrassed to 
say anything since they'd left the others.  Finally, Ryo said, 
"Are your friends always so exciting?"

	"It's usually not like that," she said faintly.  "But I'll 
understand if you never want to come near us again."

	"The parts before the potion were fun, though," he 
said.  "Next time, let's not take an army, though."

	Her eyes widened.  "You want to...again?"

	He gulped.  "I mean...if you have time."

	"I...uh...I think I can borrow some.  Find some."  

	"Well, here's my house.  Want me to walk you down to 
yours?"

	"No, I'll be fine.  I just..."  She laughed nervously.  "Next 
weekend?"

	"Sure!"  he said.  "See you then!"

	They waved bye to each other and went home.

************

	Tourmaline lay on her bed.  I am the dumbest woman 
alive, she thought.  Whatever possessed me to try 
something like that?  I'm not thinking clearly because 
of...dammit, I just can't...

	She rolled over and sighed into her pillow.  "No love 
magic.  It doesn't work right ever AND it's just...wrong.  But 
how can I..."  AAAAARGH, she thought.  

	Sometimes I hate this job, she thought.  I meet a nice 
guy, and it turns out he's usually gay and is in love with a 
woman who used to be a man in another life.   So does that 
make him a lesbian?  

	She shook her head.  My brain is working like mush.  At 
least we got taken down before we finished what we were 
doing.  I wonder if Feldspar had a better time of it than I 
did...

***************

	"So, how was your date?"  Margaret asked Feldspar 
when she came home.

	"Geekier than I like, but he was a nice guy," Feldspar 
said.  "It was a lot better than sitting around here waiting to 
hit someone in the head."

	"Gonna give him another chance?"

	"I might," she said, smiling.  "Goodnight, Margaret."

	"G'night, Ms. T."

*****************

	Tsubasa crawled into bed.  I wonder where Ken is, he 
asked himself.  

	There was a faint rustling under Ken's bed.  He looked 
over and saw Ken down under the bed.  "Ken, what are you 
doing?"

	"Every time I close my eyes, I see..."  he shuddered.  
"Make it stop."

	"Hey, you and Gos would make a good couple,"  Tsubasa 
said.  "You should think about trying it when you're not under 
a love potion."

	Ken suddenly zoomed out from under the bed and 
loomed over Tsubasa.  "You are NOT to tell anyone about this 
EVER, you got it?"

	"Okay, okay, I won't say anything,"  Tsubasa said, 
shrinking before the giant demonic Ken head.  "Do you think I 
have a chance with Ukyou this time?"

	"If I go to bed, will I wake up and get to live this day 
over the right way?"  Ken asked.

	"Probably not."

	"If I ever catch that ninja woman, I'm gonna kill her."

	"She might use that potion on you again."

	"From a mile away.  Kill her from orbit.  Only way to be 
sure."

***************

	"Do you think Haruka was kidding?"  Ukyou asked 
Ranma-chan later at the temple.

	"About what?"

	"About..."  She stared at the ground.  "Three of us."

	"Ya never know with Haruka.  Why, you interested in 
that?"

	"Are you?"

	Now Ranma-chan stared at the ground.  "I...uh...Did you 
apologize to Mamoru?"

	"Yeah.  I hope we can help him and Kunou find their lady 
friend who got kidnapped."

	"Well, that's up to Ami's computer sea...oh man, Ami 
left before we could tell her!"

	Ukyou sighed.  "I'll go call her."

	"Okay.  See you in the morning, Ucchan."

	"Goodnight, Ranchan."  She paused.  "Ranchan...do 
you..."

	"I like the dress," Ranma-chan said.

	"You knew what I was going to say!"

	Ranma-chan blinked.  "Weird."

	"Goodnight, Ranchan."  She bounced off happily.

	Women are weird, he thought.

****************

	Nephrite looked at the small violet crystal and at the 
strange armored warrior who had once been a teenager and 
now was once more one of the Seven Shadows.  "Hard to 
believe this little thing is part of the Silver Crystal, and yet, I 
can feel its power."

	"Serenity used them to bind us away, my lord," the 
warrior said.  

	"I'm surprised the Sailor Senshi didn't show up," he 
said.  "But perhaps this means I will have better fortune than 
Jadeite."

	"The Sailor Senshi are alive?" the warrior asked.

	"Indeed.  But if the stars will it, we may perhaps 
gather all of these without them interfering.  But we shall 
see.  We shall see."

****************

	Setsuna stood in her yard, looking up at the sky and 
thinking.  She felt ashamed for falling prey to love magic.  I 
can't believe I was so weak...but then no one else managed to 
resist it either.  

	She thought about kissing Ryo and blushed.  I wish 
Ranma would do that with me, she thought.  Hmmm....I 
wonder if trying to make him jealous would help, or just make 
him pointlessly mad.  Ryo is sort of cute, and...

	A thought struck her.  Wait, he knew he was going to 
be hit in the head.  Which could mean....  Could he be Opal or 
Sapphire?  They didn't have much in the way of Time magic, 
but...or perhaps one of the Seven Thunders or the...  I'll have 
to think on this, she thought.

**************

	Kasumi met Ami at the door.  "Is it..."  Kasumi began.

	Ami intuited what she meant.  "Yes.  Your parents 
work for the Dark Kingdom now.  So Father finally told you?"

	Kasumi slumped.  "I just can't believe my own family 
would..."

	Ami took Kasumi's hand and squeezed it.  "We'll get 
them back.  Beryl's probably just brainwashed them.  We'll 
free them, Kasumi.  I promise you."  Even if I have no idea 
HOW to start, she thought.

**************

	Rei was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, when 
Ranma-chan came in.  "Ranma, can I ask you something?"

	"Huh?  Sure, I guess."

	"Did you...I mean..."

	"Did I what?"

	"Nevermind."  She rolled over and took up wall staring.  

	"Usagi's so embarrassed, she ran and hid from me," 
Ranma-chan said, crawling into her blankets.  "You ain't mad 
at me, are ya?"

	"For what?"

	"Everything that happened."

	"Wasn't your fault.  I'm gonna pound Naoko's mom and 
cousin flat if I ever catch them, though," Rei said.  "She's the 
one, Ranma."

	"Eh?"

	"Usagi is Princess Serenity.  I'm sure of it, and so 
is...Eowyn."

	"Recognized the way she kissed?"

	"RANMA!"

	"Hey, I was just teasing!"

	Rei frowned at her.  "Don't."

	"Hrmph."

	"I'm not sure how we can awaken her memories, 
though," Rei said.

	"Me neither."  Ranma-chan said.  "Although maybe 
Setsuna and I can pull some trick together."

	"Well, sleep on it."  If I can sleep, Rei thought.  She was 
afraid of what she might dream.
	

John Biles
Emperor of all He Surveys
http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html

"How embarrassing must that be for the Kree when they try to explain their
government: "Yes, we worship a giant green head in a tank." 
--Reed Richards in a FF parody on psycomic.com



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