From: Scott Jamison <majks@yahoo.com>
To: Richard Robinson <RICHARDROBINSONJR@prodigy.net>, fanfic list FFML <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML] Re: Ranma/OMG][revision 1] [Fanfiction] Honor on High Chapter one  Betrayal
Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2000 16:03:38 -0700 (PDT)

     The problem, to my view, is that by saying that
this is a "parallel universe" where the canon doesn't
apply you've taken away any reason to care about what
happens.

By definition parallel universes should be, well, parallel:
only changes logically dependant on the initial splitoff
should occur.  Having everyone start acting wierd just to
give Ranma a bad day _on_ the same day he finds out he's
been switched at birth, is too much of a coincidence to swallow.

     This isn't the Ranma or Genma or even Morisato
family that we recognize from the manga/anime.  And so
far they seem to be far inferior counterfeits.

Got that right. IMO, since this story seems to diverge durring the
canon (or at least that's when the effects of the divergence show up),
characters should remain 'in character' as much as possible.

     For a better hook, you might have considered the
Morisato daughter showing up and demanding that Ranma
"give my life back!"  Skip the cliche "awful day" and
move straight into the switched identities.  This
would also allow for a better confrontation with
Genma, as both kids demand answers, rather than the
very weak "spill everything" scene here.

Now _this_ is an angle worth developing:

"Give me my life back," Megumi Morisato II yelled at Ranma. "You
have no idea of the craziness I have to put up with. I can't stand
it! I want a normal life! ... Will you stop laughing at me!"

"Bahaha!" Ranma forced himself to stop laughing and picked himself
up off of the floor. "Sorry 'bout that. You've just got to see what
your getting into."

It would be interesting to find out what a daughter of Genma and
Nodoka, raised by Keichi and the goddesses, would be like.
Especially if the goddesses have been working under the assumption
that she was a demi-goddess from day one.

...
Graham.
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com