Saying that this is a parallel world does not absolve the writer
from ensuring that his characters' actions make sense. Without
anything else to go on, the readers are going to assume this guy
named Ranma Saotome is basically the same as the Ranma they're
familiar with, for example. If that's not so, you need to give us
some indication of what the differences are. You don't have to
rerun the whole manga showing us what's different. The story
"Paint It Black" started with the scene where Ranma was supposed
to pick his fiancee. There he picked Nabiki, and she rejected him.
Then we jumped forward to the story itself, taking place after
the manga basically, and were pitched into a world that was quite
obviously not the manga one. Even though everyone acted extremely
out of character, I could buy it because it obviously WAS a
different world, and a self-consistent one right up to the
bloodbath at the end.
This seems like another attempt at "Let me stick Ranma
into another series, and since I don't want anyone else along
I'll just get rid of them in an extremely unconvincing manner."
Richard Robinson writes:
"It never occurred to you that you could raise a girl and
have a second child later who might be a boy?" asked Ranma;
who was glowing like a 250 watt bulb.
"uh. No, that thought never entered my mind"
This is something of a stretch - Genma's not actually that
much of an idiot - but I could buy it for the sake of the story.
Might still be better to explain that Nodoka couldn't have any
more children because she nearly died, and the doctor said
another pregnancy would be fatal.
"and YOU Tendo You knew about this!"
"ahh, well, yes, I thought, it was for the best after all,
to help join the Schools." sighed Soun
This I could buy too.
"You Elder Tendo Daughters knew about it also and didn't
bother to tell me!" Screamed Ranma
" After I paid you Nabiki to let me know any information
concerning me and my family ,that you knew or could find
out. I guess your word wasn't much good after all."
"Kasumi, I thought of you as a big sister, someone I could
trust. Now I know you can't trust a Tendo, no you can't
trust anyone involved with Anything Goes."
This on the other hand makes no sense. Why wouldn't
either of them tell him? They have nothing to gain from
Akane's marrying Ranma, and actually Nabiki might have another
shot at inheriting the dojo if she broke up the engagement.
How do both of them know the truth to begin with?
"As an Example; I found out, Akane, had hot and cold
running water, added to her room, I checked and it can be
activated by foot pedals and can be reached by P-Chan. The
Bitch who has been calling ME a PERVERT has been sleeping
with Ryoga, the Pig boy. Just to make certain, I checked
last night and my Ex-Fiancee and her lover were very happy
together."
Obviously you're an Akane-basher, but this is just dumb.
Akane had plumbing installed into her room, incuding all the
pipes, and nobody noticed? I guess you've never had a bathroom
put into your house. Cripes, the whole upper floor would be torn
up for weeks, at least.
Moreover, if Akane for some reason was in love with Ryoga,
there are several points in the manga where she could have taken
action to end her engagement - the "Nabiki is Ranma's Fiancee"
story and the "Reveral Jewel" story, to name just two. You may
say, "Well, they didn't happen that way in this world," but
then how did they happen? We don't know, and that's the problem.
When you come down to it, Ranma and Akane stayed engaged because
they both wanted to. If that's not the case here, why were they
still engaged?
You'd be better off doing like a couple of Sailor Moon/Ranma
cross-overs - have Akane die at Jusendo. Then Nabiki and/or
Kasumi might reveal the truth so that neither of them would be
forced to marry Ranma. That wouldn't help with some of the other
problems, but it would be an improvement.
" You had better not trust them either Ranma", commented
Nabiki "Both Ukyou, Shampoo and Mousse knew also."
Why would Nabiki bother revealing that now? It's nothing
to her if Ranma marries Ukyo or Shampoo. Moreover, how would she
know that they knew? It's not like any of them make a habit of
confiding in Nabiki.
"Well at least my real family is coming to pick me up today,
I sure won't miss this place after today. This has to be the
worst day of life so far.
How has he gotten in touch with his real family? For that
matter, what phone call did he catch that told him all this?
Ranma then calls up the Nekohanten and asks " Mousse did you
know about my having been kidnapped as a child, and being
raised by that child abuser Genma Saotome. As Genma
stuttered in the background, Mousse said " Yes I did know,
Shampoo told me and asked me not to tell you."
"Tell Shampoo the engagement is off, I won't marry someone I
can't trust not to betray me."
as Ranma hung up the phone, the sound of cheers could be
heard faintly in the background.
This make no sense either. If Shampoo or Cologne knew
this (and HOW would they know it, they live in China, for
God's sake) they would be sure to tell Ranma, because that
would immediately cancel out his engagements to Akane and
Ukyo.
Unless of course Mousse is lying. Ranma seems rather
trusting here. After all, how would Mousse know the
truth either? Did Genma take out ads in the Joketsuzoku
paper advertising what he'd done?
Ranma then called Ucchan's and asked to speak to Ukyou, When
she came on the line he asked " Did you know that Genma
stole me from my real parents, so he could take me on the
training trip as an excuse for abusing me?"
Ukyou replied " Yes he told me about how he took you from
your real parents. Why do you ask?"
"Because I just found out about it when my real parents
called here looking for me today. I am ending all of the
engagements since none of you could be bothered to let me
know about this. I will tell you the same thing I told
Shampoo and Mousse, if you see me, turn around and leave, as
from this day forward, you are my enemy! I am leaving
Nerima and NEVER coming back!"
That explains the phone call, I guess. I'd ask how they
managed to track Ranma down, but since Genma has been busy
blabbing the truth to everyone in Asia except Ranma, Akane,
and Ryoga (I'm assuming) I'm only amazed it took this long.
Why would Genma tell Ukyo?
And where's Nodoka in all this? Unless Ranma believes
she knew about it, there's no reason for him to turn
against her, as well.
He then called the number he has received from his real
relatives and got a strange response.
" Hello this is the Goddess Help Line, Our representative
will be with you in a few moments."
He hung up and dialed again, this time he slightly
misdialed, getting this response " Hell-o This is the Demon
grant a wish HOT line, Our Purchaser will be right with you,
when she feels like it. Think about what you want to buy,
after all it's your soul , Baaaby "
So he tried a third time and got the same response as the
first time.
I'm not sure this makes a whole lot sense, in light of
what we learn later. Belldandy's too young to be Ranma's
mother, unless we're assuming the "Oh My Goddess" series
was set about twenty years ago. If that's the case, why
isn't she living on Earth with Keiichi and her daughter?
If she's back in Heaven for some reason, why wouldn't
they give him a direct number instead of having him go
through the Goddess Help Line?
Examining her with his Ki senses, he quickly identified her
as a powerful spirit in the form of a human, probably a
goddess of some type. Looking closer he was able to identify
her as having something to do with Time.
Excuse me, I have a great deal of trouble swallowing this.
Ranma's senses have never been this acute in the manga. Of
course, you may respond that this isn't the same world, and
Ranma is a demigod here. Fine, then I'll turn it around.
If the difference between a god and a mortal is that obvious
to Ranma, wouldn't Belldandy and her sisters have noticed
the substitution of a mortal for a demigod instantly?
"RANMA SAOTOME, That is the name of my nephew. You must be
Belldandy's missing son, she said she wanted to hear from
you. Grab my hand and I'll take you to her. You still have a
wish coming but save it for later, until you get used to our
Family.
Why wouldn't she say his wish was granted by taking him
to his mother? Why didn't she use her normal mode of transport,
water, instead of running down the street?
The baby switching idea can be done successfully. There's
an ongoing fic dealing with Ranma having been switched at birth
with Ataru Moroboshi that I find quite entertaining. But then,
the whole point of that story is how everyone deals with the
discovery of the mixup. Here it seems like something slapped
together as an excuse to let you get to the story you really
want to tell.
Reid Carson
rcarson@rcarson.com