Shunsuke wrote:
Jamie and Bridget Wilde wrote:
Shunsuke wrote:
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Cold Depths
A Tenchi Muyou! shortfic
by Shunsuke -|||
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The cold depths of space have become my home.
With only Ryo-Ohki at my side, my lonely existance does not
^^^^^^^^^ "existence"
<sound of head thwacking on computer desktop>
That's what I get for writing in a hurry. Bad author! Bad!
FFML Populous: "Hypocrite! Tell *us* how to write, will you?"
^^^^^^^^
That would be "populace." :P
(snip)
noted above :)) is that you give some indication of how Ayeka was
killed, and why Jurai is not condoning Sasami hunting down her assassins
Wellll...I figured the detail of why wasn't important (why
Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon?) and as for Jurai's
approval or disapproval, well it's...okay, I didn't have an
idea, I just ignored details and used a device to get to
where I wanted to go. ^_^
Shame on you!
- one would think they would approve of the killers of their royal
princess being punished. Maybe if you indicate that Nagi is trying to
bring the assassins back to Jurai for a trial, and Sasami refuses to let
them off that easy? Also, I'm not sure how Tenchi ended up on the
throne of Jurai when married to Ryoko; it may just be that I haven't
seen enough TM.
BIG point I forgot to include, the generally accepted (?)
idea that Tenchi marries both Ryoko and Ayeka. (oops!)
...or at least accepted by people who enjoy picturing them as a
threesome... :P
In any case, you do a good job of balancing the obvious angst of the
situation with a writing style that keeps the drama from becoming
overblown; you could easily have sunk to the depths of melodrama, and
didn't.
Uh, how *does* an author write melodrama? ^_^ I know it when
I see it, I just can't do it...thankfully.
Read a few romances by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, and you'll understand -
far too well :)
Bridget
--
"I choose you - PIKASPEW!!!"
Jamie to 2 month old daughter Madeline,
shortly after being spat up upon...
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http://www.psn.net/~wildeman/