Miashara wrote:
We interrrupt your regularly scheduled SPAM for this irregularly
scheduled non-SPAM. Thank you.
Where's that old prereader hat?
I hope you find it soon, since I just sent you something. ^_^
DB Sommer wrote:
The next part of his prose revisions.
And final. I'm going to leave chapter 6 as is and just revise it. We'll
call it an 'homage' to Shakespere instead of blaming it on my laziness.
confusion has reigned. At the end of last chapter, a certain somebody
at an
all boy's school heard about the antics of one "Ranma Saotome" and has
become very interested in settling an old score...
Just need to mention, I always really liked this, espedially when
chapters came out at infrequent intervals.
And when, praytell, was I ever infrequent about posting these? ^_^
I spend a whole lot less time
trying tofigure out who was doing what when with only a quick paragraph
like this.
Thanks. When I first did the series, I thought the intro paragraph was a
good idea, especially for newer readers that might have been interested in
looking over a later chapter and being able to quickly follow what was
going on.
It was turning out to be a boring day.
And it couldn't get any worse, right?
For Ranma, four out of five times boring equals bad, as explained later.
"Ah, I was wondering when you'd show up," Godai-sensei said to the
newcomer
before turning his attention to the rest of the room. He hoped things
would
go all right. He didn't believe they would, but he did try to hold on to
a
glimmer of hope. Clearing his throat, he said, "Class, allow me to
introduce a new student. Everyone, please meet Ukyou Kuonji."
I'm begining to like the teacher. I feel something of pity for him
though.
Read all of Maison Ikkoku and you'll come to understand that he is a
pitiful
man, which would explain your feelings of pity for him.
poetry, and had pretty darn good-looking bishonen features to boot
(though
he still fell somewhat short of Ranma in the looks department.)
Doesn't everybody?
Not Tenchi (at least if you're a female alien. :P)
However, he did have a
large spatula slung across his back, which meant he was weird and would
probably have some decent entertainment value.
He scored a thirty five percent based on entertainment value alone? With
the antics of the cast already in place to boot? These people need TV.
Nah. Real life is way better than anything they could watch on TV.
Ukyou raised the spatulas high in the air. "Witness the prowess of a
master
of okonomiyaki."
I'd capitalize Master and Okonomiyaki. I wouldn't be too surprised if
you intentionally didn't do it though.
Not intentionally, but I can't really see it being capitalized here.
Her hands moved at blinding speed, and within moments the chef cooked,
then
tossed, okonomiyaki to everyone in the class. Each serving of the food
landed right on target upon each individual's desk.
Isn't Ukyo still assumed to be a guy at this point? Unless some weird
backstory happened I'm not aware of, she should still be unnoticably
female. Unless your doing this to keep pronoun confusion clear I guess.
Yep. Originally I was going to use male pronouns, but it just seemed silly
since we all know she's really a girl. As you guessed, I just called her a
girl from the beginning to prevent the confusion. Only if it's from a
specific character's POV do they think of her as a guy.
Akane bit down on hers. It was delicious. She was going to have to try
to
get Kasumi to make some. Or better yet, try to do it herself. Judging by
how quickly this Ukyou made them, cooking some would be easy.
Akane. Yep. Akane.
Remember, it's that voice in her head that keeps giving her 'advice' on
cooking that's really to blame. ^_^
The smaller girl gave Ukyou a hurt look. "Sure, Ucchan. It's me,
RanAKK."
Sounds like a name from Mork and Mindy. Ranakk! Lord of Terror.
If it's from M+M, wouldn't 'Lord of Causing Mild Upset' be a better term?
Akane's elbow landed on top of Ranma-chan's head, preventing her from
saying getting anything else out. "My, my, Shampoo, aren't we being too
friendly with Ranma's acquaintances?" She emphasized 'Shampoo' and
'Ranma'
with all the subtlety of a brick to the head.
AKA: as typical for the cast?
Oui.
Ranma-chan nodded in understanding. "Right. Ranma's friends."
I'm surprised he didn't stare blanky at her for a few minutes before
catching on.
Hmm. Will consider.
Ukyou stared suspiciously at the shorter girl. "And what did Ranma tell
you
about me?"
You're 36/24/26 D,
Not that busty. She'd be in constant agony from her wrap if that was the
case.
like long walks in the park, and have a utensil
fetish. You want to be spanked with your own spatula and seek a
cheerleader so you can deny you're attracted to women.
Gee. Guess I was being pretty obvious in which why the plot was going to
go there, huh?
So I'm quoting later chapters. _I_ still remember them.
I would hope it's hard to easily forget them. ^_^
Akane tossed back the paperweight Shampoo-kun had thrown to her --to
Paperweight=cinderblock?
In the hands of a martial artist, a paperweight might as well be a
cinderblock. ^_^
"You don't suppose there's a reason for that?"
"What if they got married in a secret ceremony and are just keeping it
quiet until Shampoo becomes pregnant and they can't hide it anymore?"
"Oh my god! Shampoo's pregnant with Ranma's child!"
...
Well, ridiculous rumors have to get started somehow.
Shampoo-kun tossed a desk to Akane. Once again conditioning took effect.
Don't you mean she tossed it at Ranma?
Originally she tossed it to Akane so that it could be tossed back to her,
but I like your way better.
"That is between Ranma and me." Ukyou intoned dramatically before
turning
me,"
Wow. I caught you on that for once. Now if I find a it's or its mistake,
I'm going to faint.
Oops.
"You know, I actually kind of expected that to happen," Godai-sensai
stated
from his desk at the front of the class. Apparently desensitization to
the
bizarre really could happen.
Easily.
It could be worse. One could always live in Tomobiki.
Ryouga was. Ucchan was a normal little kid, just like me."
Ranma's normal? Since when?
Well, it is from his POV. Everything he does is always perfect, normal, and
most definitely not his fault.
today. Although suspicions about the situation evolving into something
TOO
interesting made her somewhat cautious.
When does it ever not?
Many times, we just don't bother writing about them because they would be
boring.
Besides, he had to be sure it wasn't some sort of plan on the part of
the
newcomer to ingratiate himself into the feelings of Saotome's two love
slaves: The Beauteous Akane Tendou and The Equally Spirited Shampoo.
Don't you normally call her Tendo?
Originally yes, but since I used 'Ryouga, Ukyou, etc' I've been using
Tendou in the rewrites.
"Unn, right," Ukyou said hesitantly, wondering if the guy was for real.
The sad part is that he is.
Oui.
"Methinks thou doth protest too much," Kunou quoted as he jumped into
the
ring and brandished his bokken towards Ukyou. "I consider it my duty to
teach you the error of your unholy ways."
Kuno. Yes, Kuno.
The sad part is Ranma did the sanme thing with Tsubasa.
Yes, amazing the occasional parallels between the two.
"Foolish, perverted, misguided youth. I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan.
There are none that can truly defeat me, Ranma having cheated in all of
our
fights to date. Allow me to beat the perversions out of you."
If Kuno was fighting me to a date, I'd cheat too.
Heh. Same here.
The fight was brief, consisting of Kunou going. "A spatula is no true
weapon." *SMACK* "OW! Put that pot down, else I shall-" *SPLASH* "How
grotesque. I am now covered in some repellent brown sticky substance."
*SMACK* "OW! How dare you strike me while I'm distracted. All I need is
a
moment to." *SIZZLE* "ARGH! I'm being cooked alive!" *SMACK* "I shall
avenge myself upon you, once I recover consciousness.' *THUD*
I like that.
Thanks. It made more sense that writing the details and more fun than just
saying 'She beat him in under a minute'
As she did so, an idea came to her. After all, she
needed something to kill the time.
Finish him! Fatality.
Flawless victory.
"The great Tatewaki Kunou is no man's side order," Kunou complained as
he
tried prying himself out of the slightly burned yet still tasty crust.
But
it was all to no avail. He turned his head towards Akane and Ranma-chan.
"It appears my situation is somewhat awkward. I would not consider it
beneath me to have you assist me out of this foodstuff."
I like that too.
Thanks again. Kunou's fun to write.
"This burden must fall upon my shoulders." Sayuri boldly said, beating
back
the other girls that wanted to share her 'burden'. She crawled up the
ring
Poor girl.
Soon to be anyway.
Shampoo-kun let his bonbori kiss her. Hard.
Sayuri let her tongue caress the shaft and head of Shampoo's Bonbori.
Her mouth worked over its head and gently carressed it. Finally, with a
bang, she was thrown backwards and collapsed, the wind knocked from her.
Heh. I see you're becoming more hentai by the day. Going to move onto
lemons soon?
"Don't be silly. I'm not going to do it. She's a guy now. You're going
to
have to go in there and kiss her for me."
I'm deeply saddened. I'm laughing my head off none the less, but still
deeply saddened.
Thanks again. It was one of my favorite lines to write too. It seemed a
good way to throw readers for a moment.
She drew one of her hands back, holding her top in place with the other.
"You jerk!" she shouted as she slapped the stunned boy across the face.
Inspite of the fact that she couldn't hit hit earlier, now she smacks
him upside the head. Ain't martial arts fun?
Well, I did mention Shampoo-kun was stunned by the actual revelation.
Betweem Kuno's conversation with Ukyo and the end of the fight, that was
great. More of the wonderfully warded writing I look for. Nice job.
Thanks. The Kunou scene with Ukyou was completely new. Likewise for the
kissing bits with Ranma and Sayuri. I needed to add something to this since
I dumped the original awful start to this fic.
"He was," Ranma-chan insisted. "Don't you'd think I'd know a guy from a
girl? Just how unobservant do you think I am?" The redhead paused in
thought for a moment. "Obviously if Ukyou was a guy before, and is a girl
now, then something must have happened to him."
I say again, ...
Yes, and you'll probably find yourself doing that again more than once as
well.
Akane wasn't so certain. Yes, it made sense. Too much, actually. It
seemed
the answer was just a little too easy. There had to be a catch, there
just
Like it's completely wrong?
Akane: Yeah. That would be it.
her pet dog, Fluffy, had been electrocuted in that horrible fight with
that
large yellow rat that kept shouting 'pika.' (All such nasty little
creatures deserved to die.)
I agree completely.
Never really watched the series so I can't say one way or the other, but I
doubt I'd care much for it.
and therefore would not have had the girl run into him and call him a
pervert (which was going to happen any second now)
Don't you need a period somewhere in there?
Yep. Will add
It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Obviously Ranma had
made
this girl cry. "What did he do to you?"
Well, kinda. For once Ryoga is sorta right.
Yep. He's right but for all of the wrong reasons.
"But Ranma doesn't have a pitchfork and horns," Ukyou pointed out.
He must have lost them along the way.
Heh.
Upon entering the kitchen, Ranma saw the man he most wanted to speak to,
at
least after Ukyou. "Hey, Pop. You'll never guess who I met today."
Hence the man he wanted to speak to the most.
Yes, but again the POV thing.
A sad look crossed Genma's face as he took a deep, sad breath. "The truth
would hurt too much to tell, boy. Just try to help the poor girl...I mean
boy out. But try not to believe anything she...I mean he might say. The
truth has been no doubt been warped in his fragile little mind."
Hasn't everyone seen Ukyo's breasts already? Why would he make that sex
evasion?
Ranma's relayed his curse suspicions to Genma. Genny hopes against hope
that somehow the truth about Ukyou doesn't come up and he won't become the
one everyone points the finger of blame at.
Ranma
would believe just about anything Ukyou had to say about the matter over
Ranma's father, including the idea that they were supposed to adopt the
chef or something.
Again, doesn't Ranma know Ukyo's a girl?
Not yet. He thinks she's a guy that's cursed like him.
Two teams of searchers, one with an accurate sense of direction, set out
in
search of one another. By some stroke of luck, they managed to meet each
other at exactly the halfway point from where each set out.
The halfway point as measured by who? Ryouga? So they're in Tai-wan?
Nah, Ukyou led the way after it became evident Ryouga gets lost way too
easy.
"Gee, that didn't take long. I wonder if it's good luck we found them so
quickly, or bad?" Ranma commented as he saw that somehow, Ryouga had met
up
Ranma, is your luck EVER good?
Sure it is. Overall he definitely likes life the way it is, it's just when
little problems like this that crop up and complicates things that he
regards this as 'bad luck'
"I can too find my way out of a closet!" Ryouga retorted. "I just have a
bad tendency to end up in them when I'm trying to find other places."
So Ryouga came out of the closet? That would explain much.
^_^
Ukyou stared at him, dumfounded. "Of course you do. Everyone knows my
secret. That jackass," she pointed at Shampoo, who stuck her tongue out
in
response. "Let everyone know, and she is going to pay."
Ryouga told Ukyuo about the Ranma/Shamps thing? I was unaware he knew
Shamps was both people she is.
Oops. Better look over the old chapters and double check. I might have made
a boo boo.
Ryouga, Ranma, and even Shampoo, all crossed their legs in sympathetic
pain
and winced. "No."
Oh god.
Childbirth is something no man can ever truly apprciate from a pain
standpoint. A good kick to the nuts is something no woman can ever truly
appreciate from a pain standpoint. And it can be done to us a lot more
often than once every nine months. :P
Ukyou looked stunned at Ryouga proclamation. No one had ever talked about
her in those sort of terms before. It made her feel odd inside. A good
kind
of odd, though.
Thus groundwork is lain.
Yep, groundwork which gets chewed up and thrown out by the end of the fic
you. And Ukyou Kuonji always pays her debts."
What about that check at the restruant in Okinawa?
Heh.
Akane looked at the scene of battle and sighed. Things were never going
to
be resolved if all everyone was going to do was hit one another. She
swore
she was the only one with any brains in the whole group.
When Akane's the pacifist of the group, that's bad.
Shows just how unusual the situation is.
Akane wondered what Ranma was up to, but, trusting his judgment, threw
the
That's a first.
Nah. She has faith in him from time to time, when it appears he isn't going
to botch things up.
Ukyou burst out into tears again. "What are you? Some kind of pervert
too?"
Miashara bursts into laughter again. "HAHAHA!"
Well, she's kind of right, just not in the way she thinks.
Ukyou seemed to follow a bit of that. "You mean that curse thing you got?
Ryouga explained that to me. No. I was never stupid enough to go to some
cursed training ground. Come on, it's cursed. Why would you want to go
there and maybe get cursed?"
Um, you're a incredibly overpowered, none too bright martial artist?
Of course, there are different forms of not bright. The cursed bit is one.
Akane not realizing P-chan is Ryouga is another. Shampoo thinking love
magic is good for a realtionship is yet another.
Ranma, Shampoo, and Ryouga all shifted uncomfortably from the assault of
common sense Ukyou was wielding against them.
Case in point...
Heh. Too true.
"...fathers ...ENGAGED?!"
Only with Ranma and Genma is this not even a surprise.
At this point this is only the second engagement Ranma had been unaware of
(the first being the Tendou one) Now by chapter 15 or so he becomes aware
of all too many of them, though the only one that comes into play is Kaori
Daikoku's one.
"All right, so back then you might very well have mistaken me for a boy,"
if you were completely unobservant and brain dead, Ukyou silently added.
Just like...no. Not going to.
You show remarkable restraint.
Ranma was the first to break the silence. "Pop is so dead."
Good constructive method of solving problems.
Everyone: Violence is always the best solution to any problem.
Simultaneously, Shampoo-chan, Ukyou, Ranma-kun, and Akane all buried
their
fists on top of Genma's head.
Not Ryouga too?
As is explained later.
Ryouga however, was not of like mind. He allowed a battle aura to build
up
around him before breaking his own silence.
Ah.
Yep.
"Not in the face, damnit!" Ranma shouted as he picked himself up off the
ground.
I really don't think Ranma would swear. It's not his style and I don't
think he ever did in the manga.
Okay. Will drop.
before Ukyou managed to catch a glimpse of him. Not too bad. She'd seen
better, but Ryouga definitely qualified as being a little above average.
You really like doing that don't you?
Yep. I'm naughty that way.
Ranma ignored the complaint. "So, tell us what happened, Batboy."
It's B-chan!
Bloodsucker has a nicer ring to it.
"Ow!" he said. "Yes, it not only looks exactly like it, but it felt like
it
too." He shot Shampoo an accusing glare. "Is this yours?"
He's thorough if nothing else.
Yep.
Ryouga kept his fists clenched. "Just because I no longer have a grudge
against you doesn't mean you get off that easily. There's still the
matter
of you hurting Ukyou. She may be too much of a lady to beat you up, but
I'm
not."
One would hope so.
Heh.
As she made her way back, Akane did allow herself to smile. At least the
day hadn't been boring.
When are they ever?
The times I don't write about.
Nice.
Take that! My counter attack in the C&C feud.
Heh. I'll have to return the volley at you next time.
D.B. Sommer