The Converging Divine Dreams of a Life's Destiny in Xanadu
(Boy, that's a mouthful)
In other words, an April fools fic by Kyle Emmerson...
Enjoy!
****
High above the city, away from the prying eyes of
humanity, two figures loomed over the horizon, riding in the
giant robot Xenogears.
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?"
"I think so, Brain. But where are we going to find an
all-night liquor store, a midget, ten pounds worth of feathers
and a ton of disposable condoms at this time of day?"
"Err... no Pinky, with this machine... We can RULE the
WORLD!"
"Gee Brain, what about those two people up there? Narf!"
"AHHH! Fei! MICE!"
"STOMP 'EM!"
"This may hurt."
"Zoit!"
Actually, now that I think of it, there were four figures
in the Xenogears.
****
Lower down, in another city, on another continent, a small
team of teenagers, and one old man, part-time god of wind, ran
through the streets.
"Are you saying we've been reborn from the people over
five thousand years ago?" Akane asked, incredulously.
The old man could merely nod. In fact, it was all he could
do.
"So I'm really a Goddess?" Ukyou asked. "Boy, the fanboys
are gonna LOVE this!"
The old man nodded again.
"Wait a second," Kuno said, stepping up to the man and
pulling on his beard.
The whole group gasped as the beard was yanked off and
displayed a rather embarrassed looking.... Chicken.
"It's not a God!" Kuno exclaimed. "It's a Chicken Boo!"
****
"So, Saotome," Aizen said, walking up to her. "What's the
plan?"
"Well, I've employed the help of these three... umm...
puppies."
"Hey! We're not puppies!"
Aizen blinked. "Then what are you?"
"We're the Warner brothers!" the short on exclaimed.
"And the Warner sister!"
"And you are?" the tall one asked.
"I'm Aizen Myoo! God of Love!"
"No you aren't," the tall one said. "He is."
Suddenly, the short one appeared before them in pink
diapers and held a red bow and arrow, with a heart at the tip.
"Aizen Myoo?" the cupid-boy asked. "Sounds like an
animal."
"Or the sound a cow makes."
"Uhh, Dot," The tall one began. "Cow's don't say 'Aizen'."
"I know," Dot replied. "This one's sick."
****
"So, where's your hotel, Jennifer?" Ryouga asked, stepping
into the clearing.
"Over there," she said, pointing. Near that dog and cat.
"Duh, where are we now, Rita?"
"Hey, stupid. You think I know? Let's ask that guy over
there with the yellow bandanna."
****
Good idea.
Taking revenge upon the person who killed you by sending
him to purgatory.
"Ahh! I'll get you for this, Hellspawn!"
Bad idea.
Taking revenge on the people who love you by sending them
to purgatory.
"Ranma! What are you doing? Why do you have us tied up
over this vat of boiling liquid?!"
Good idea.
Coming back from the dead and introducing yourself to your
family.
"Ranma! It's been SO LONG!"
Bad idea.
Coming back from the dead and introducing yourself to your
enemy.
"Nice to meet you. Now die, again."
And that concludes this session of Good idea/Bad idea.
Join us next time when we discuss the good idea/bad idea
of... Bad crossovers.
****
"Please don't hurt me!"
"Hey, Pesto. She asked us not to hurt her."
"Hey, are talkin' to me?... Did you... Did you talk to me
like I was WRONG?"
"N..no, I didn't say that! I just stated that she didn't
want us to hurt her!"
"So you're saying I'm the bad guy here? I'm the--"
"Hey, guys. Come on, we've gotta follow the script."
"Oh, right. What's next?"
"Well, it says that the Spawn-chickie is supposed to come
around any second now--" Bobby was unexpectedly cut off as a
giant foot came down on him.
"Ahh! Pesto! Fly for it!"
"You think I'm stupid, you--"
Pesto couldn't finish his sentence. He had a chain shoved
up his nether regions.
"Mmm, Chicken," the hellspawn smiled.
"Gah!" Squit exclaimed, and flew as fast as he could,
eventually flying head first into a statue of Pantyhose Tarou.
****
I know.... I was coerced into it. My mind wouldn't leave
me well enough alone. ^_^
Well, it's not as bad as the teletubbies crossover, ne?
I know, I know. You can all flame me later. ^_^
-------------------------
| The TydRipper | "Tyd, you need a smaller
| | .sig. :-)"
| Master of the Tides, | - Gary Kleppe, FFiRC
| Devourer of noodles, |
| Writer of the Fanfic, |
| Baka to the end... |
-------------------------
Questions? Comments? Flames? Email Me.
~ The TydRipper
http://www.ryo-oh-ki.net/tydi-oh-ki <--- Older, unupdated site.
http://www.nabiki.com/tydi-oh-ki <--- Regularly updated site!
kyle_emmerson@yahoo.com <--- My usual e-mail.
I also keep some of my stuff archives on Sofaspud's Couch at
http://www.sofaspud.org/
[This Space for Rent]