Question:
Why are Kasumi and Nabiki so eager to hand off Ranma to Akane?
What's wrong with him from their perspective? He is younger than
Kasumi, to be sure, but he's obviously more mature than your average
16 year-old. As far as Nabiki goes, he's good looking, and he'll be
getting most of her father's estate. It is obvious why they didn't want
Ranma in the original scene. Here, I think you need to go into why they
don't want him instead of just taking it for granted that they'll behave
the same way they did in the original timeline.
Incidentally, I don't think that having Ranma and Genma be drafted is
the way to go. Genma is a deserter at heart, particularly when he isn't
even part of the nation at war. The simpler and more convincing
approach is just to assume that Genma was murdered by the Musk (who
controlled a great deal more territory in your universe) and Ranma
joined up with the enemies of the Musk in retaliation.
Ranma looked up at him and smiled. "Just a vagabond whose found
a place to stay for a while. I must say your technique is cowardly."
"who has"
"That is what one does in a war Akane, I have a lot of blood on
my
hands," replied the boy simply.
Comma splice.
"The one you chose to name yourself after, never believed that.
There is
no justice in killing over such foolishness.. Besides, I never stopped
yo
"you"
Ranma smiled at this; "There is no such thing as perfection in
battle.
There is always a way to defeat even the strongest of opponents, it is
one of many hard lessons I had to learn in my life. Now, let's end this
foolish battle peacefully, I have no desire to draw against you."
Comma splices.
"Ara? You bastard," said Kasumi sweetly. Everyone looked at her
and she
blushed.
"Oro" is a question. "Ara" is not.
Akane seemed to turn to stone on the spot as a single tear fell
down her
face. "Three weeks?"
Uh...why is she crying? C'mon, it's only been three days, and Akane and
Ranma are not a case of "love at first sight".