In a message dated 00-03-30 17:09:13 EST, you write:
<< Question:
Why are Kasumi and Nabiki so eager to hand off Ranma to Akane?
What's wrong with him from their perspective? He is younger than
Kasumi, to be sure, but he's obviously more mature than your average
16 year-old. As far as Nabiki goes, he's good looking, and he'll be
getting most of her father's estate. It is obvious why they didn't want
Ranma in the original scene. Here, I think you need to go into why they
don't want him instead of just taking it for granted that they'll behave
the same way they did in the original timeline.
=Amen. Here, thrusting Ranma on Akane is like forcing a square peg into a
round hole. The story loses a lot of believabilty; to make a small change to
a main character and then expect everything else that he isn't directly
affecting to remain more or less the same is, to be blunt, rather
unimaginative and lame. There will be need for a very good explanation,
basing on the extreme forcefullness of their reactions; rejecting a more
mature, bishounen, virtual war hero out of hand does not compute for them,
especially since Kasumi is a traditionalist, and Nabiki initially was very
eager to meet Ranma. In the story, they are a bit OOC, with Kasumi being a
Mihoshi-level ditz (TM! tv series) a number of times, and Nabiki being
somewhat cravenly.
Also, Ranma had already excused Akane from bridal contention, so she really
should not be involved in Ranma's final choice to begin with, at least that's
what my intuition tells me.
Incidentally, I don't think that having Ranma and Genma be drafted is
the way to go. Genma is a deserter at heart, particularly when he isn't
even part of the nation at war. The simpler and more convincing
approach is just to assume that Genma was murdered by the Musk (who
controlled a great deal more territory in your universe) and Ranma
joined up with the enemies of the Musk in retaliation.
=Again, if there was some greater explanation or a change in Genma's basic
character, I can buy it.
> Ranma looked up at him and smiled. "Just a vagabond whose found
>a place to stay for a while. I must say your technique is cowardly."
"who has"
> "That is what one does in a war Akane, I have a lot of blood on
="...a war, Akane. I have..."
[snip]
> "The one you chose to name yourself after, never believed that.
>There is
>no justice in killing over such foolishness.. Besides, I never stopped
>yo
"you"
> Ranma smiled at this; "There is no such thing as perfection in
>battle.
>There is always a way to defeat even the strongest of opponents, it is
="...of opponents; it is..."
>one of many hard lessons I had to learn in my life. Now, let's end this
>foolish battle peacefully, I have no desire to draw against you."
="...battle peacefully; I have..."
Comma splices.
> "Ara? You bastard," said Kasumi sweetly. Everyone looked at her
>and she
>blushed.
[Stan] Hey, bitch! You just stole my f****** line!
[Kasumi] Ara, I'm sorry. It was the will of the author, you know. Also,
it's not polite to use such language at your age.
[Stan] Oh, yeah? Well, f*** you, you stupid c***!
[Kasumi] (blushes) Ara...
"Oro" is a question. "Ara" is not.
> Akane seemed to turn to stone on the spot as a single tear fell
>down her
>face. "Three weeks?"
Uh...why is she crying? C'mon, it's only been three days, and Akane and
Ranma are not a case of "love at first sight".
>>
I think it's her thoughts that she has to spend another three weeks with
Ranma before he chooses to either stay or leave, and she is going to go nuts
before he's gone.