Kind of cute, and worth continuation, somehow or other.
on their faces. Nabiki was right alongside them, determind
'determined'
when the 'Fiancee Brigade' (as they were known) had
Not sure you need the '(as they were known)'.
"Why have you got to be here, Ukyo?" Akane hissed. "Auntie
Nodoka invited Ranma and *me*!"
Akane's OOC here. Ukyou is her friend. With a couple of
exceptions (Secret Sauce story, Ukyou intro story), Akane
never displays animousity towards Ukyou (even on the two
occasions when Ukyou takes a swing at her with the battle
spatula).
"You may be wondering why we called you here," Cologne
began.
"To tell us Whodunnit?" Nabiki remarked.
Nice line; very characteristic of Nabs.
"I came here," Nodoka began, "to seek recompense for the
destruction of my house, and to investigate the merits of
Shampoo's claim to Ranma."
Nodoka probably should have started this sentence with
'Yesterday', given what they say later.
"And it turns out that Ranma and Shampoo can not marry."
"Huh?" Ranma exclaimed. "What do you mean, Mom?"
"I mean, son, that you and Shampoo are cousins, connected by
blood."
Fundamental problem: half-first-cousins are hardly close
enough to prohibit marriage in most societies, including, I
believe, Japan. You may want to add some additional
explanations along the lines of: 'a common maternal
grandfather means that the two of you are members of the
same moiety, and, in Nujiezu law, cannot marry'.
"YIPPEE!!" Akane and Ukyo cried out, jumping up and down and
waving victory fans.
Funny image, but Akane in particular is OOC. She usually
behaves as though she _knows_ she's going to win, but
doesn't want to publicly show it.
"WHAT?!?" Kodachi cried, leaping out of nowhere. "You mean
to say that ... Ranma has ... *gaijin* blood?!?"
<clip>
"Rest assured, I shall!" She turned to Ranma, scorn in her
face. "Also rest assured, I shall never pollute the pure
Kuno blood! So you shall have to forget your infatuation
with my beauty and cease your ardent pursuit of me, Ranma
Saotome, for you shall never have me!"
I liked this, though I'm not sure why: it goes against
my interpretation of Kodachi, which is that she is sane, but
doesn't care about other people's opinion. But this
reaction _is_ funny.
Shampoo, meanwhile, just sulked.
"You okay, Shampoo?" Ranma asked.
"RANMA!" Akane protested. "How *dare* you flirt with Shampoo
when I'm sitting right here?!?"
Again, OOC for Akane. I mean, for _asking_? Canon Akane would
beat Ranma to asking, as Ranma would be oblivious.
"Shampoo embarassed," she said softly. "What if this get
out? Shampoo be laughing stock of village! Shampoo have to
wear shirt with red neck!"
Mildly funny, but doesn't bear examination. Most traditional
societies based in small villages permit _more_ intermarriage
than is the current American norm.
"He's still alive?" Ranma said in shock. "He's gotta be a
zillion years old!"
"Hmph!" Cologne commented. "For your information, he's
barely a hundred and ten - just at the age when you young
people start growing up properly!"
Huh? Why would Ranma think this? His mother is late-thirties/
early forties; why would he think his grandfather older than
early sixties? Alternatively, assuming he paid attention to
the WWII dating, the grandfather might have been, say, 15 in
1940, and be 75 in 2000. Given who we learn the grandfather
is (someone in the Boy Scouts in 1911, he should be barely 100
in 2000.
"He got a name?" Nabiki asked.
"His name," Nodoka said, "is Henry Jones Junior, Doctor of
Archaeology."
"But," Cologne added. "he prefers to be called 'Indiana'."
Now, given how 'Lost Crusade' ended, Indy _might_ show up
still looking thirty-ish.
Certainly there is interesting scope for future adventures
in having Indy drag Ranma and Shampoo off on another
adventure.
Brilliant Idea: flip cousinship around: Have Indy drag
his grandchildren off on an adventure, but Shampoo is
now _even more obligated_ to marry Ranma, as her village's
law is that she is _supposed_ to marry a first cousin
if she hasn't been defeated by an outsider.
Akane and Ukyou, naturally, follow.