Kyle Emmerson <kyle_emmerson@yahoo.com> wrote:
Part Four: Bell-Bottoms and Bruisers
ERIC CLAPTON: o/~ Bell-bottom bruise, you made me cry.... o/~
Okay, I'm trying to seriously avoid the 'new character' syndrome here, but
the plan is simple. No, she will in no way be able to kick Ryouga's ass.
Although, she WILL be able to teach him a few things.
IMO, she's not so much annoying as she is dull -- another common problem
with new characters. (If anyone in the story comes off as annoying in
that way, it's Nodoka the all-wise. ^_^) She doesn't seem to figure into
any of the existing conflicts or add any new ones or interact with Ryoga
in a way that reveals anything new about his personality. Nor does she
show much personality in her own right. So why should I be interested in
this character?
Oh, and are there any other Abby-ites out there? ^_^
No idea what you're talking about.
As for the story... IMO, it needs some sort of focus. It started out as
Akane vs. KOR gang members, but then went off on a tangent with Kuno
learning new techniques, and again with Ryoga and whatsername, and
you've hinted that other crossover characters will be showing up. It
seems like you've taken a "XXX is cool, so I'll throw it in and see what
happens" approach to this fic; but that doesn't necessarily work.
Something that's cool may not fit well into any given story.
Gary