On Mon, 27 Mar 2000, Krista Perry wrote:
ARRRHRHRHHAHAHAHAHAHRHRHRHRHRHRHRRHRHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!!!!!!
Damnit, Krista! AAAAAAHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHH!
So... you liked it, right? ^^
Well it was a nice cliff hanger, a really nice cliff hanger...^^
Okay. Now that I've got that out of my system....
C&C...
While the pacing for the scenes between Ranma and Akane were just right, I
still feel like the Nabiki-Kunou scenes move a little slowly. While the
content is good, I feel that you could trim a few lines here or there to
speed along the general progression of the story.
I did do a bit of trimming, taking out a couple of long, unnecessary
paragraphs. I guess because I'm too close to it, I can't see what else
I could remove without ruining the feel of the scene. Suggestions? If
you were to take a scalpel to it, what would you remove to speed up the
pacing?
Hmmm...My two cents here is that I don't think anything needs to be
trimmed. Nabiki and Kuno are doing some nice character devlopment while
they make their way through the jungle. To trim down the section would
take away from some of that IMSO, so keep the scapel away from it...:P
Waiting for 23 with a stop-watch.
24. ;)
It doesn't matter what the number is, just as long as Akane opens a can of
whup ass on Cologne. ^^
But first... I'm working on a brand new April Fools Chapter! Hearts of
Ice, the "Weekend at Bernie's" Ending! Watch as Akane tries to convince
the others that Ranma isn't dead!
Kidding! Kidding! ^_^
.........
Actually it sounds like fun! Imagine the fun as Akane tries to move Ranma
in a life like fashion, tries to imitate his voice, and to be really evil
have Akane moves the body around in one of the many duels Ranma fights.
All can be played for great laughs....^^
(Okay, now I'm being too silly..I don't even like Weekened at Bernie's
myself...:P)
Ja ne!!
Richard Beaubien
----------------
Suzuki Arimi, Mizuno Ami, Aya-san forever!!!! WAI!!!
Fanfic homepage http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~beaubird/