Revised and expanded.
C&C is most welcome.
Disclaimer: Evangelion is the property of Anno Hideaki and
Studio Gainax. I am merely using the characters for the
purposes of profit- and revenue-free entertainment.
Vincent Seifert has kindly provided webspace for most of my
fanfics and links to the rest at the following address:
http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/kagami/
You can contact me at: kagami@jeack.com.au
---
Gendo, You Bastard!
An Evangelion Fanfic
By Kagami
---
Subject: Dammit, Commander!
To: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Misato Katsuragi <yebisu@angel-apartment.tokyo3.net>
Dammit, Commander!
Why have you frozen access to my accounts?! I need that
money for grocery shopping tonight! In fact, this...
this... is my last Yebisu beer! Waaaah!!!! Please! Please!
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!
Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!
Please release my accounts?!
Misato.
---
Subject: RE: Dammit, Commander!
To: Misato Katsuragi <yebisu@angel-apartment.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Major Katsuragi,
The NERV Employee Pension Fund is _not_ your personal slosh
fund! Please refrain from using it as such. As for your
other accounts, you will have to apply to the Accounts
Department for answers.
Commander Ikari.
---
Subject: RE: RE: Dammit, Commander!
To: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Misato Katsuragi <yebisu@angel-apartment.tokyo3.net>
Commander Ikari,
Okay. How about a personal loan then?
Misato.
---
Subject: Report to Commander!
To: Rei Ayanami <null@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Rei,
Please report to my office for personal training
immediately.
Commander Ikari.
---
Subject: IkaRi, You Bastar!
To: Gendp Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Kozo Fuyutsuki <wintermoon@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Ikari, yOu bAstard!
Where The HEll are yOu?! You prOmised be her by Eight!
"We'l gEt stinki druNk," you Said, "and reminNIisce about
'bout YUI all nIght." NoW I'm siTTin her in tis stinkin rAt
hol an drinkin KIRIN PiSs aLL bY MYSELF!!!
Koz.
---
Subject: RE: IkaRi, You Bastar!
To: Kozo Fuyutsuki <wintermoon@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
My apologies, Subcommander,
An important matter just came up and I stayed behind to
deal with it. I promise I'll comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
---
Subject: RE: IkaRi, You Bastar! 2
To: Kozo Fuyutsuki <wintermoon@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Er, my hand seems to have slipped and hit the Send button
by mistake. As I was saying, I promise I'll come with you
next Thursday instead.
Regards,
Gendo.
---
Subject: Gendo, You Bastard!
To: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Ritsuko Akagi <magus@neko-apartment.tokyo3.net>
You bastard, Gendo!
You don't call! You don't write! You don't even mail me a
note! Dammit, I'm pissed! You'd better get your act
together, Gendo!
How does Thursday sound?
Ritsuko.
---
Subject: RE: Gendo, You Bastard!
To: Ritsuko Akagi <magus@neko-apartment.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Dear Ritsuko,
Your cool, professional attitude to all matters is one of
the things I most admire about you. Please do not
disillusion me in that regard.
Thursday will be fine.
Gendo.
---
Subject: Hostile Takeover
To: <all_users@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Ireul <eleventh@geofront.tokyo3.net>
I regret to inform you that the Magi computers and
incidental subsystems are now under my control. Have a nice
day.
The Eleventh Angel.
---
Subject: RE: Hostile Takeover
To: Ritsuko Akagi <nimue@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Ritsuko,
Obviously our visitor has no idea about anonymity
programs. Now that it has kindly provided us with the
location of the infection source, please isolate the node
in question and terminate.
Gendo.
---
Subject: Christmas Wishes
To: <all_users@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Ireul <eleventh@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Until NERV chooses to comply with my demands, I shall
entertain the rest of you with a few songs:
~/ Hark the Herald Angels singing /~
~/ Tralalala laaaaaaaaaaaaa
---
Subject: RE: RE: Hostile Takeover
To: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Ritsuko Akagi <nimue@geofront.tokyo3.net>
There's no need to tell me what to do, Gendo. I've already
taken care of it. I request the use of the full NERV crew
for a mock production for SEELE's benefit.
Are we still on for Thursday?
Ritsuko.
---
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Hostile Takeover
To: Ritsuko Akagi <nimue@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Ritsuko,
Thank goodness. Christmas carols make me break out in
hives. Use of NERV crew is authorized.
Thursday is still fine.
Gendo.
---
Subject: Thursday
To: Kozo Fuyutsuki <wintermoon@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Subcommander,
I regret that a late appointment for Thursday has come up.
How does Friday sound instead?
Gendo.
---
Subject: Ireul posts
To: <all_users@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
We appear to have had a minor computer virus that infected
the NERV computers earlier today. The problem has been
resolved. All personnel are to disregard any messages from
Ireul.
Commander Ikari.
---
Subject: Congratulations
To: Gendo Ikari <soulless@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Keele Lorenz <immortal@no-specified-address>
I suppose congratulations are in order, Ikari. You've
managed to extract NERV from near-defeat once again. Be
assured you have our complete support.
Oh, and do something about that use-name.
Lorenz.
---
Subject: RE: Congratulations
To: Keele Lorenz <immortal@no-specified-address>
From: Gendo Ikari <darksoul@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Why, thank you, Chairman. I am most gratified to have your
support.
As per your wish, I've changed the name.
Ikari.
---
Subject: Report to Commander! 2
To: Rei Ayanami <null@geofront.tokyo3.net>
From: Gendo Ikari <darksoul@geofront.tokyo3.net>
Rei,
I'm still feeling a little tense. Please report to my
office for further personal training.
Commander Ikari.
---