Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][ff][ranma][eva]Oneechan chap 2
From: rcarson@rcarson.com
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 100 10:40:25 -0600 (CST)
To: ffml@fanfic.com
CC: montanto@hotmail.com

William Morse writes:


                           Oneechan
                      A Ranma and Evangelion X-Over
                          (Sort of)

                          Chapter 2


       I quite like this fic so far. Actually, for some reason, I quite
like the whole idea of Misato being related to Ranma. I really like that
"Paradise Lost" story where Misato is Ranma's mother, for instance. I'm
not sure what that means, and I don't intend to think about it overmuch.

       One note. You've got some smart quotes sneaking in there you
should get rid of, though, oddly, only the apostrophes, it seems. I'll
note them as they occur.
 
Nodoka looked at her empty hands and the unharmed target confused. She 

                                   in a confused manner or confusedly.

realized what had happened and spun around to see her young daughter 
standing inches away from the katana imbedded in a wooden post. Misato 
glanced at the meter long steel blade, which had missed her by mere 
centimeters. Her face was ashen gray.

       It seems odd to mix inches with metric units.

"Mommy? I think I wet myself."

       Yay! Canonical Nodoka! You've gotta love her, and this is a good bit.

"I don�t want to talk about it,' Ritsuko gritted her teeth concentrating on 

     don't (no smart quotes)   it,"                     teeth,

her compact and washed some dirt off her face with a tissue. She had refused 

      compact,

certain Ainu folktales about the Blonde wanderer showed, it was hardly 

                                   blonde

source of amusement but with her mother walking just ahead she wasn�t in the 

                                                                 wasn't

"Sorry Mother," Misato said quickly. "Honestly it's like I stopped growing 

  "Sorry,                              "Honestly,

"Oh, Poor baby," Ritsuku ran to catch up to Nodoka. "Are we nearly there, 

       poor baby." Ritsuko

"Say, I've been wondering. What's the deal with the Katana anyway?" Ritsuko 

                                                      katana, anyway?"

"Ixnay on the ordsway," Misato hissed. She had far too many memories 
regarding that damn sword. Of course it did make parent-teacher meetings 
interesting to say the least.

        Heh.

large wooden gate. She didn�t think houses like this still existed at least 

                         didn't                               existed,

cinderblocks a rather sad looking straw dummy with a black pigtail made of 

  cinderblocks and a

"I thought I told you stop that," she growled, as Misato yanked her arm 

                    you to

""Look, it's a big garden. Even with the gate shut you could be going around 

  "Look,

in circles for hours," Misato explained ignoring Ritsuko's glare.

                                explained,
 
"Girls, could you please behave while we're here," Nodoka begged knocking on 

                                              here?"        begged,

"Hello, Kasumi-chan. Its wonderful to see you again," Nodoka returned the 

                       It's                     again."

bow, "is Ranma here today?"

  bow. "Is

inside the house it ended with the sound of splashing water. "I'm sorry 

             house. It

"Be quiet," Misato whispered jabbing her friend in the ribs.

                     whispered,

Her mother ignored them and hung her head sadly. "That�s a shame 

                                                   "That's a shame,

who didn�t give a damn about traditional mores as his shoulder length hair 

      didn't

generation to wear their hair long. A simple black gi covered what was 

                     his

controlled and stable man who probably wasn�t willing to take any crap from 

                                         wasn't

"I'm delighted to see you again Saotome-san," Soun said folding his arms. 

                            again,

"Thank you, Tendou-san, Nodoka said politely. "I�d like to introduce my 

                                                "I'd

"It's an honor to meet you, Tendou-san," Misato interrupted bowing formally.

                                                  interrupted,

"And her friend, Ritsuko Hibiki." Nodoka continued giving her daughter a 

                                           continued,

"Hibiki?" Akane asked. "You wouldn�t know a Ryouga by any chance?"

                              wouldn't
"Oh he's a friend of mine, he wears a bandana like that." Akane pointed at 

  "Oh, he's                                          that,"

Ritsuko's bandanna and, ah . . . "

            bandanna, "and, ah ..."     Oh, and either spelling of bandana
can be used, but pick one and stick with it.

"Couldn�t cross the street by himself if his life depended on it," the 

  "Couldn't

"Ranko, it's ver rude to say such things," Nodoka said firmly.

               very

"Oh, sorry Auntie. I guess I wasn�t thinking," Ranko giggled putting the 

                               wasn't                   giggled,

hand that didn�t have a pig attached to it behind her head.

            didn't

"condition" you might have dozens of brothers and sisters you�ve never met."

  'condition'                                               you've

"What?" She asked as Ritsuko jabbed her in the ribs. Ritsuko said nothing 

          she

" I don�t believe it," Misato laughed. "Sweet sixteen and already the 

  "I don't

Now it was Misato's turn to choke on her tea. "Oh please, Mother, don�t tell 

                                                                    don't

Tendou-san." She said bowing low.

  Tendou-san," she said,
 
divorce." Ritsuko whispered in a sotto voice.

  divorce,"         whispered sotto voce.

"You stay out of this," Misato hissed, " and anyway, Mother, what about 

                                         "and

him home to meet you, you nearly cut him in half!

                                              half!"

"I don�t think it's appropriate to discuss these things with company, dear."

     don't
 
"Ranko-chan is such a sweet young lady wouldn�t you say, Misato-chan?" 

                                         wouldn't
 
"Oh please. Don't tell me you didn�t notice anything strange about that kid?

                                didn't

"You mean other then the pleasure of watching someone else getting Mom's 

                  than

special treatment?

          treatment?"

"Come on, Misato! Don�t tell me you didn�t notice the way she nearly choked 

                    Don't              didn't

"She obviously has the hots for my little bro and she's jealous.

                                                          jealous."
 
wouldn�t put it past him. But in this case I doubt it. She looks like a 16 

  wouldn't

did she get the Panda?

                  panda?"

"What Panda?"

        panda
 
The one you might have noticed eating at the table next to you if you 

  "The

"Oh, that Panda. Who knows? Maybe it escaped from a circus."

            panda

Ritsuko smiled mischievously

                 mischievously.
 
"How could you do something so foolish?" Captain Katsuragi demanded. It's 

                                                                       "It's

us once and for all. And with that radioactive automation heading towards 

                                                 automaton

'There's nothing for it then." Katsuragi said at last. "The only thing that 

  "There's

"It is possible," Ritsuko said. If we were able to catch up with it on one 

                                  "If

problem is getting the right security clearances otherwise theirs a chance 

                                                             there's

"Hope," the senior executive.

          said the
 
"What?" Asked Katsuragi.

          asked

"The security password is 'hope'" The executive clarified.

                            'hope'," the
 
"We're nearly there, Ritsuko, I'm ready to board," She said into her 

                                                     she

"Yes Sir! Misato shouted, jerking her head up from her notebook.

       sir!"

"Are we keeping you awake Ms. Saotome?" Professor Ikari slowly pushed his 

                      awake,

Misato blushed as several of her classmates began to giggle. "Ah, no Sir. I 

                                                                       sir.

at Misato. "I must say I'm surprised Ms Saotome. Your grades are actually 

                             surprised,

"No trouble at all Ms. Saotome and don�t worry. It won't effect your work 

                 all, Ms. Saotome, and don't

"Huh? What?" Misato asked. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems to 

                                          too

"I doubt it. She's this Gaijin transfer student. She just started this 

                          gaijin

there, Kasumi wasn�t it? It's me, Misato Saotome. We met last night, 

                wasn't

'Terrific Kasumi, thanks for asking. Say, I was wondering. Rits and I were 

  "Terrific,

talking and we couldn�t help but notice you looked a little stressed out 

                 couldn't

"And then he said, 'no that�s a scrub brush!'" Kasumi burst out laughing 

                     'No, that's                                   laughing,

Ritsuko and Misato looked at each other slightly confused. This was a facet 
of bathroom humor that had never occurred to either of them.

       Heh.

"I don�t get it," Misato mumbled as she finished her third Yabisu.

     don't

The Peach Blossom was a kareoki bar popular with many secretarial pools and 

                          karaoke

The waiter was a tall Gaijin dressed in very tight jeans with black 

                        gaijin

handsome for his own good. "Vot can I get tchu ladies?" He asked in a thick 

                                                          he

drinking.

  drinking."

"Und vat vould di new girl like?" The waiter asked winking at Kasumi.

                                    the

"I don�t think I'll ever have enough money to tip him properly," Kasumi 

     don't

"Do tchu need anyting else?" Klaus asked as he handed out their drinks."

                                                                  drinks.
 
"Klaus smiled radiantly. "Dot is need to know information Lieb-chan." He 

  Klaus                                         information, liebchen," he

"But I need to know," Kasumi pouted. "I need to know really bad."

     Heh heh. I realy like this scene.
 
people then us have tried and failed." Kasumi stared at her drink looking 

         than

"And don�t get me started on how he clogs the bathtub with his shedding!"

       don't

"I don�t know, Misato, this is beginning to sound as weird as that story 

     don't

'That is so exciting! I tried once but nothing I tried once but nothing I 

  "That

"I don�t know. How about if you have a bunch of dumb as dirt martial artists 

     don't

getting into a fight over something, a rice cakes for example, and then all 

                                              cake

question ever. "What does it matter?" She asked finally, "the world is a mad 

                                        she       finally. "The
 
it's our turn at Karioke, let's sing!" Misato grabbed Kasumi by the arm and 

                   karaoke,

Too Late.

      late.

"Are you sure Misato will be all right? Kasumi asked as they stumbled out of 

                                    right?"

"Don�t worry, this happens all the time," Ritsuko laughed. "Right now I'm 

  "Don't

"I don't know she hasn�t woken up yet." Akane said looking at her watch.

                    hasn't

"Oh my, I'm sorry, I didn�t realize it was this late." Everyone turned to 

                       didn't

"Kasumi!" are you all right?" Soun asked.

  "Kasumi! Are

"Please, Father, don�t shout so loud. " Kasumi begged. " I just have a bit 

                   don't           loud,"                 "I

"What happened to you last night?" Soun asked. "When you didn�t come home we 

                                                           didn't

"This is just great end to a terrific week," Ranma said sarcastically. " 

                a great                                   sarcastically.

First a sister I never knew I had shows up, Then Mom visits with her in tow. 

  "First

anything about her and for all I know. I might run into her again today."

                                   know,

Misato was finally awoken by the smell of Ritsuko cooking rice. She had a 

                     awakened

splitting headache and she wasn�t sure if she would be able to keep anything 

                             wasn't

hangover a Four and a half. There was only one cure for this, beer.

             four

her. Misato's instincts took over. With out looking she caught it in one 

                                     Without

hand. It was a bit warmer then she would like but it would have to do. She 

                                           have liked

"Yeahahh! That hit the spot! I can face the day now!" She shouted.

                                                        she

pop tent that Ritsuko kept in her backpack for just such emergencies. As 

  pup

"Where are we, Ritsuko?" She asked.

                           she

"You wouldn�t believe it, the batteries on this global locator died. After 

       wouldn't



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