Like the subject says, here's chapter one
Jose Argao
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Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2. Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko
Takahashi. I didn't write this to make money. I am currently without
money myself, so even if you did sue me, you won't get anything b'cuz
I don't have anything to take.
Warning: If you shoot yourself in the head, you'll probably die.
Here Comes an Old Challenger: Chapter 1
by: Jose Argao
As Cologne made her way out of her room to the restaurant, she
noted that no one else was awake yet. Since there wasn't much else to
do, she started devising a suitable plan. She doubted that Ranma would
be able to resist her charms, but her experience with the boy taught
her that he was not one to be underestimated. Sitting down on a chair
near the counter, she was soon lost in thought.
A few minutes later, she heard the sound of her granddaughter
going down the stairs. It was hard not to notice her since she was
giggling the whole way. Humming to herself about her future plans with
Ranma, one would never be able to guess that the girl was distraught
just the night before. Her laughter faded when she laid eyes on a
beautiful girl sitting by the counter. Instinctively, she assumed a
defensive stance.
"What you doing here? We no open yet. Come back later."
"Come now child, don't you recognize me."
"Shampoo not know what you talking. Get out before Shampoo
get angry. Shampoo is amazon. You go out now if you know what good
for you."
That last statement made Cologne chuckle. For a moment, she
considered having a fight with Shampoo. Although Shampoo would never
admit it, Cologne knew that she was holding back whenever they went
sparring. She was not sure whether Shampoo was doing this on purpose
to protect her or unconsciously out of respect but she was sure that
Shampoo was doing it. Shampoo never won any of their fights of course,
but she continued holding back nontheless. This annoyed Cologne to no
end. She was one the most powerful martial artists in the world. She
didn't need any special treatment from anyone. Certainly not from
Shampoo.
Finally, she decided against it. Along with her youth, she
regained a large amount of her chi. It would take her some time to
get reacquainted with her old body. The last thing she needed right
now was an injured Shampoo.
"I will do no such thing. You are under my command and you
will give me the respect that I deserve."
Shampoo looked hard at the strange girl. She was certainly
very beautiful. Her face was a perfect oval framed by her long purple
hair, a bit darker in color than Shampoo's. She wore chinese robes
similar to those worn by Shampoo. They were of comparable size and
build. Despite the similarities, however, no one would mistake one for
the other. They looked remarkably similar and yet completely different
at the same time. There was something about her. Something Shampoo
couldn't quite put her finger on. Although she was sure that they had
never met, the younger amazon couldn't help but feel that she has known
this woman all her life.
Then there were the words she spoke. She said them with such
confidence. Such conviction, like she was absolutely sure of the truth
in her words. But Shampoo was the greatest warrior of her tribe. She
had power second only to the elders. Surely this woman, girl actually,
in front of her was not an... No. Impossible. It takes hundreds of
years of training and countless acts of bravery before one got to that
level. This person couldn't have been any older than she herself was.
She decided that the time for guesswork was over and it was time she
found out the identity of the unexpected intruder.
"Who are you? What you talking?"
Cologne tried once more "Don't you recognize me, child?"
"You no have right to call Shampoo child! You no older than
Shampoo!"
"I see that I must spell it out to you. I am truly disappointed
in you, child"
"Who are you? Shampoo no ask again!"
At that Cologne raised her staff. It was a status symbol among
amazons. Proof of one's rank. It was regarded in much the same way
stars and medals were regarded in the military.
Shampoo gasped. She recognized that cane. It was her great
grandmother's. No one else was allowed to touch it. There was no way
the girl could have stolen it without Cologne knowing, and Cologne
would have put up a fight. However, Shampoo never heard the sounds of
a fight all night. She was a light sleeper and her trained ears would
have awakened her at the slightest indication of a battle.
Then she thought of the girl's words. She kept saying something
about recognizing her, but Shampoo had never seen her before. Shampoo
didn't have many acquaintances in Japan so she would have recognized a
familiar face immediately. There were only two people living with her.
One was Cologne and the other was Mousse. But she could still hear the
blind martial artist snoring in the stock room. That left...
"G... Great... Grandmother?"
Cologne smiled. "I see you finally recognize me?"
Shampoo's face was now a mask of confusion "But... but how?
Why?"
"This is all part of the plan I was telling you about last
night. Sit down. I will tell you all about it over breakfast. And
don't tell Mousse. He would only make things difficult for us."
And the two started talking...
"So you see, after Ranma falls for me, I will dump him. Then,
while he is heartbroken and vulnerable, that's when you should make
your move."
Shampoo was still not convinced "But how Great Grandmother know
Ranma fall for her? Ranma say he no want girlfriend!"
Cologne was beginning to get irritated "Do not question my
wisdom! I may look young but I am still much older than you. I do not
plan to go about this like before. You have already lost your chance at
a good first impression when you tried to kill him, but I still have a
chance. I have a few hundred years more experience in this than you so
stop worrying."
Shampoo just whimpered "But... But Shampoo..."
"No buts. Do you want to marry Ranma or don't you?"
"I do but..."
"Then have faith in me. Trust me when I say that a man is most
vulnerable when he is heartbroken. Now I need you to purchase a few
things for me. I will need them to do my job."
"What you want Shampoo to buy?"
Cologne blushed lightly "Well, pads for starters..."
At the Tendo Dojo:
The day started out pretty badly for Ranma. He walked in on
Kasumi taking a bath. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind much. Problem
was, Akane saw the whole thing. She wouldn't let up about it. Breakfast
was especially awkward.
Akane was still going full blast "Honestly Ranma, I can't
believe you would do something like that to my sister!"
Ranma was as adamant as ever "I'm tellin' ya I didn't do it on
purpose! It was an accident."
The two adults of the house (or rather, the two occupants of
the house who had been born earliest) on the other hand, were not put
off in the least.
"That's the spirit m'boy. If you can't marry Akane then marry
another one! I am impressed with your concern for the future of the
anything-goes school of martial arts!"
"Shut up Oyaji! You aren't helping!"
"That's right Saotome. Ranma doesn't want to embarass Akane so
he wants to keep his new engagement a secret. Should I start planning
the wedding, Ranma?"
Akane did not like the direction the conversation was taking.
Thinking fast, she offered her own two cents regarding the matter.
"Father! Don't encourage him!"
Nabiki saw through the act and proceeded to give her sister the
third degree. "Do I detect a twinge of jealousy, my dear sister?"
Akane handled that the way she handles most everything "Stay
out of this Nabiki. Kasumi! Say something!"
The older sister was no help however "Well, I suppose I
wouldn't mind marrying Ranma if that's what he wants."
The two elders of the house quickly grabbed the opportunity.
"So it's settled! Ranma will marry Kasumi!"
Akane was shocked "Father! You can't be serious!"
Kasumi was... um... Kasumi "Oh my! So sudden!"
Ranma chose that time to speak up "Kasumi, I'm sorry but I
ain't gonna marry you."
Genma quickly thought of a way to save the situation "Is that
true Ranma? Do you want to marry Akane _that_ much?"
Ranma, noticing Akane glaring daggers at him, quickly retorted.
"It's not like that! Stop putting words into my mouth."
"Ranma's right father. His mouth can generate far too many
words as it is! I'm leaving for school."
"What's _that_ supposed to mean Akane? Hey! Wait up!"
Ranma ran out of the dojo chasing Akane. Little did he know
that a certain amazon elder was following his every move.
"So it would appear Shampoo wasn't lying about how hectic son-
in-law's life was. I'd better follow him. For research of course.
Cologne made a move to hop away but completely missed the next
rooftop. Getting up from the pile of trash she fell in, she grumbled
to herself.
"Curse this body and the weight that comes with it. Now where's
Ranch...ma Ran_ma_."
Spotting Ranma already far away, Cologne jumped after him. It
wasn't long before Ranma ran into trouble again. She hid on a roof to
watch.
Ranma was visibly upset. "Akane! I'm tellin' ya it was an
accident! An _accident_!"
Akane didn't look too reasonable "Yeah right! Why should I
believe a hentai like you? You're worse than Happosai!"
That ticked Ranma off. But he tried to salvage the situation as
best as he can.
"Hey, don't go comparing me to the old freak. I am _not_ like
him!"
"Stop making excuses Ranma! You stared at her for thirty
seconds!"
Ranma replayed the events of the morning in his head. "I had no
choice! You had me in a headlock!"
"That's beside the point. I wouldn't have done that if you
didn't peek on her. This is all _your_ fault!"
"And just how is this my... ooof!!!"
Ranma opened his eyes to see a purple haired amazon on top of
him.
"Nihao Ranma! You take Shampoo to date, yes?"
"Shampoo, I need to go to school. I can't... ouch!!! Akane!
What the hell was _that_ for?"
Ranma thought he actually _felt_ Akane's anger "You just go on
your little date you little hentai! I'm going to school."
"Hey! Wait up Akane! Shampoo, get off!"
Just then another familiar voice entered the fray"You heard him
you purple haired hussy! Back off!"
"Ukyo! What are _you_ doing here."
Ukyo was wearing her boy's school uniform. Ranma deduced that
she was also on her way to school.
The amazon slowly got up and fell into a stance "Spatula girl
interfere one too many times. Shampoo deal with you now."
Retreiving her battle spatula from behind, Ukyo simply smirked.
"I'd like to see you try, sugar."
As luck would have it, the heavens picked that exact time to
rain. This had a rather marked effect on Shampoo, who incidentally
was still on top of Ranma. This in turn had a rather marked effect on
_him_ who incidentally was a _her_ at the time. All other emotions at
once became secondary to one thing, fear.
"C...c...c...c...cat!!!"
"Meow!!!"
Ranma started running around in circles. Fast. "Get it off!
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!!!"
The frightened martial artist failed to realize exactly where
he was headed. Without thinking, he altered course and headed straight
for Ukyo.
"Ranchan! Stop running! You're gonna hit me! Stop ooof!!!"
A frightened Ranma slammed into Ukyo, knocking both of them off
their feet and Shampoo off of Ranma. For a moment, no one made a move.
Cologne was tempted to get down from her perch on the rooftop and check
to see if they were alright. However, Ranma soon stirred. Opening his
eyes, he was a bit disoriented at first.
"Wha.. What happened? Ukyo!"
Ukyo tried to get up but fell back down. "I'm fine Ranchan. I
just feel a little... oh..."
It was then that Rama noticed the rain. "Ukyo! Are you alright?
Here, wear this."
Ranma removed his shirt and put it on Ukyo. It didn't do much
to keep her dry but it was better than nothing. Putting his arm around
the injured girl, he gently walked her to school. He was never aware
of the hidden eyes watching him, now bright with realization.
Enjoying the attention, Ukyo smiled at Ranma and accepted the
offering.
"Thank you Ranchan. That's very nice of you."
Flashing her his lady killer smile, Ranma answered gently "Aw,
don't mention it. Anything for my kawaii fiance."
Heaving a sigh, Ukyo put her arm around Ranma and allowed
herself to be escorted to school. It was all she could do to keep
from giggling. She was all giddy inside.
Up on the roof, Cologne finally figured out Ranma's secret.
"So that's the problem. All this time that we've been trying
to push, we should have been pulling. Well, if son-in-law wants a
damsel in distress, that is what he will get."
Brushing off a stray strand of purple hair from her forhead,
Cologne made her way back to the Nekohanten. Her mind already hard at
work figuring out how to best exploit this new piece of information.
Author's notes:
Well, That's one chapter done. I figure I'll be done with this
in two or three more. It all depends on how creative I can get. That's
not to say I have no idea where the story is headed, but I try to keep
my concepts loose so I can easily fit in stuff that I can think of. You
know the drill, send C&C to ex_fuk@yahoo.com. Thanks to everyone who
commented on the prologue, by the way. About this chapter, it was more
or less a setup for the next one. I wanted to explore what one of the
best martial artists in the world would do when forced into pretending
she was a weakling. You will notice here my theory that Ranma goes for
women he can protect. Notice that he usually spends his time with Akane
,the weakest fiance. But when Ukyo got sick (read manga volume thirty
something, thirty six I believe) he was all over her. Those who follow
my work (both of them) may also notice my bias against violent women.
I cannot understand how characters like Akane and Asuka manage to
endear themselves to people. I don't hate them, but I don't like them
either.
PS: expect the next chapter sometime next week. Bye!