Hi DF
I'm going to just USE the punctuation advice, since I trust your
judgement, and comment only on content> WAI!!!
Um, okay. Thanks.
:)
"That guy is following you again."
Nabiki glanced behind her. "How many days has it been now?"
Her companion shrugged. "I first noticed about a week ago. It
could
have been going on before that. You want me to say something to
him?"
"No thanks, Mike."
Is Mike another real life person? :)
Nope. I just grabbed his name out of a hat.
Nabiki raised her voice. "Don't argue with me! How often do I
give
away money with no strings attached? Just buy what you need, and
keep
where it came from to yourself. Ranma doesn't ask how you spend
your
money, does he?"
"No, he just gives me his paycheck and lets me take care of
everything."
Ah. A good, traditional arrangement. :)
I can't call Ranma & Akane a "traditional" couple, but it seems to me
that he would have no problems accepting the very Japanese "wife takes
care of the household" tradition.
Nodoka needs to learn to count her blessings.
Heh
"You seem to be full of them today. I figured next you'd tell me
you
were pregnant."
"No, not yet."
Nabiki squeaked. "Not yet? What do you mean by that?"
"We talked about it. We're not ready yet."
"Don't scare me like that!"
"Well you brought it up!"
*laughter* FORESHADOWING ALERT!!! :p
Looks innocent. Who, me???
Akane laughed at her sister's quick retreat, and went to the
closet
for her coat. As long as Ranma was away, she was going to drop in
on
Nodoka. Her mother-in-law had been treating her rather coldly for
weeks, and Akane wanted the opportunity to talk to her without
Ranma's
presence.
Cue ominous music. :)
Heh
Kasumi appeared beside Ranma. She gently tugged at his arm, and
led
him to the table. "Here's your tea, Ranma. Where is Akane?" She
sat
beside Ranma and reached for the teapot, but was prevented from
continuing the gesture when Ranma hugged her.
"Thank you," he whispered.
It took his hug and thanks a moment to register, but when it did, I
thought, "Very nice touch."
I worried a little about that. Ranma doesn't normally touch other
women, but Kasumi is like a big sister to him, and she just came to
the rescue when he needed help. If it worked, then I'm happy.
Kasumi blushed, and started pouring the tea. "Where is Akane?"
she
repeated.
"Akane has to work this afternoon," replied Ranma. "She's sorry
she
couldn't come, but she understood how important it was for me to
get
here." He looked at the three confused faces before him,
I'm learning to let go of my comma fixation somewhat :), but this
one is unnecessary; two words without a subject is too short, and
its placement in the sentence gives all the delay you really need.
and smiled.
"I'm cured."
*MASSIVE FACEFAULT THROUGHOUT NERIMA!* :)
Hiroshi: Well, time to move on to greener pastures.
Daisuke: Yeah, but it's still a shame.
Hiroshi: Right. I mean, we we're her, errr, his friends!
Daisuke: Yeah! The least she coulda done was let us
have one good feel!
{two hours later}
A whistling grew louder and louder.
Hiroshi: You hear something, Dai?
Daisuke: Yeah, I--
*WHAM, WHAM!!*
The sides of the two mallets are postmarked Ube.
I had absolutely NO idea Akane's hearing was that sharp.
"It's so nice of you to drop by, Akane."
The minute Akane had walked into Ucchan's, Nodoka had left the
grill
to Konatsu and shepherded her daughter-in-law to a corner table.
Then
she'd rushed to prepare a pot of tea and get a plate of small
cakes.
Akane looked at her mother-in-law, trying not to let her
nervousness
show. Nodoka was being a little too friendly.
*NODS*
Gave herself away there.
"I'm sorry you ever married him!" Nodoka stood, pushing her chair
back so hard that it nearly fell over. She pointed at the door.
"Get
out! I have nothing to say to you!"
"But--"
"I said to get out!"
Nodoka may be the one heading straight for a breakdown. She's
stretched thinner than Ukyou was in some ways.
For a hard fall, at least.
Akane picked up her coat and ran. Two blocks down the street she
stopped and put the coat on, trying to button it with shaking
fingers.
What was she going to tell Ranma?
The answer came very quickly. Nothing. Ranma had waited too long
for
a reconciliation with his mother, and there was no way Akane would
forgive herself if she came between them. This was something she
would keep to herself.
Then a memory from her wedding day came to her. She and Ranma had
promised not to keep secrets from one another.
Right, and this is a bad one to keep, actually.
That's why she won't keep it. Ranma and Akane are beginning to grow
up, at least a little, and trust is very important.
After a couple of minutes Akane could feel the tension in Mrs.
Kawara's shoulders ease, and she stopped rubbing and knelt down
beside
her. "Do you feel better?"
Mrs. Kawara nodded, and closed her eyes. When she opened them
again
she had a very determined look on her face. She stood up, and
softly
kissed her baby's cheek.
"Mama will see you later. Be good for Akane."
Nice scene. Setup for later, of course. :)
Naturally
*****
"I don't know why you wouldn't just believe me for once!"
Ranma stood in the bathing room, soaking wet. His father had
dragged
him and the jug of water he held into the room and then shoved him
under a cold shower.
"I only brought one change of clothes, ya know!"
Ranma's annoyance faded rapidly when he saw the expression on his
father's face. It had been one of skepticism, but that had
changed to
joyful amazement. Genma grabbed the jug from Ranma's hands and
started to unscrew the lid, but Ranma took it back.
Genma lies regularly himself, and most people like that figure
everyone else does, too; he can't trust because he can't be trusted.
We know that, but does Ranma?
"Take off your clothes and kneel down. I'll pour."
Soun stood in the doorway, watching. Ranma poured. Genma held
his
breath, and turned on the cold shower. Nothing happened.
For the rest of that afternoon and well into the night a different
kind of pouring took place. Eventually, two old friends fell
asleep
where they sat. Ranma took pity on them, put the sake away, and
carried them off to bed.
I still can't wait to see how you bring Jusenkyou back into their
lives. :) :) :)
*Innocent stare*
*****
Akane's supervisor waited until Mrs. Kawara was gone before she
approached her. "You handled that situation beautifully, Akane.
How
did you know what to do?" She watched as Akane tucked the baby
into a
crib before replying.
"We ran into the same situation a few times in Nerima. I watched
the
way they treated the nervous mothers, but this was the first time
I
ever had to do it myself."
"I wouldn't have known that. You were very professional. Well
done!"
Akane blushed. "Thank you." She turned around to hide her
embarrassment, and tucked a blanket around Yori. "He's nearly
asleep."
This was nice. This harkens all the way back to Tofu telling Ranma
that Akane really is a nice girl before he touches Ranma's pressure
points for delayed loss of mobility. Very nice to see. Also good
because it doesn't dip into "sainthood".
No saints in my stories.
"Can you handle things by yourself for a little while? I need to
run
a few errands."
"Sure, take your time. There aren't too many children here
today."
Akane placed a rocking chair between the cribs where the sleeping
babies rested and the area where the toddlers were playing so that
she
could keep an eye on all of them. The room was quiet, except for
occasional sounds of laughter from the playing children.
Akane was taking care of a diaper change when two of the toddlers
behind her began to argue. She looked over her shoulder, and
discovered that they were wrestling over a stuffed Pikachu. Once
the
baby was back in her crib Akane quickly got between the combatants
and
snatched the Pikachu away. The children objected loudly.
GAAH!! POKEMON!!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!!! AIEEEEE!! :p
*Throws the blanket further over the Pikachu, so poor Dave can't see
it.*
"He's mine!!!"
"NO!!! MINE!!!"
"No," said Akane softly. "Pikachu is tired, and needs a nap."
She took out a
wooden
jigsaw puzzle, and put the pieces between them. "I want the two
of
you to work on this together."
"What is it?"
"You won't know until you put it together. I'm not telling!"
Actually, it's a Mokona, but that might upset you again.
He was > squirming
around, and his face was turning red. When he noticed Akane's
presence he looked at her curiously. This was NOT his mother.
Heh.
Why?
"Hello. I'm Akane."
Yori continued squirming, and began to whimper. Akane scooped him
up,
and checked his diaper.
"Somebody needs a change. Let's go!"
Once Yori was warm and dry again, he stopped whimpering. Akane
settled down in the rocking chair with the baby in her arms and
rocked
gently. She hadn't had a baby this young to care for in months,
and
it was affecting her in a disturbing way. She kept bringing him
close
to her face, breathing in the sweet smell that was a combination
of
soap and water, baby powder, and new baby. Within a few short
minutes
Akane was overwhelmed with a yearning that brought her dangerously
close to tears. She didn't want to be taking care of other
people's
babies. She wanted one of her own.
"Ranma," she whispered. "What am I going to do?"
Poor Akane. She's being buffeted by the baby issue from both within
and without.
I have no idea what women must feel about the urge to have babies,
but reading that one paragraph gets me a good way there, I think.
Well done.
Thank you. It's a VERY strong feeling, and very difficult to set
aside. Trust me when I say that you can feel it physically as well as
mentally and emotionally.
"Hey, you have a job!"
Ranma looked disgusted. "Yeah, but I'm married, remember?"
It was as if a light bulb went on over Ryoga's head. Married men
gave
their wives their money...and their wives took care of all the
bills.
There was something to be said about being single.
LOL
^_^ Thanks!
"So, have you got any ideas?"
Ranma turned on the shower spray and aimed it at Ryoga.
"We'll just sneak you on the train."
Heh, using Akane's old tricks. :)
*nod*
*****
The woman sitting next to Ranma looked down at the knapsack at his
feet. A little toy pig was sticking out of it.
"That almost looks real."
Ranma chuckled. "It belongs to my wife."
Ryoga glared at him.
BWAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! A quiet little revenge of epic scale. Cool. ^_^
Yup, poor Ryoga can't even bite him right now.
*****
"You told the Elders? What happened?"
Cologne chuckled. "It wasn't what I expected, child. They knew."
Shampoo gasped. "They knew?"
"Evidently they've been watching us for years. I sensed a great
deal
of hostility, and a little bit of jealousy. They didn't threaten
us,
which was surprising. I expected our family to be expelled from
the
village, but there are so many of us that I believe the Elders
realized it would do a great deal of harm.
"It's a good thing our family IS so large, otherwise it might not
have
gone so well. They're going to watch us, openly this time, and
try to
see what it is that makes us so successful. I think perhaps
they're
trying to see if both ways of life can exist openly in Joketsuzoku
without coming to blows with each other."
Historically, that sort of situation inevitably leads to strife, but
you can never tell folks that at the time. And this might be one of
those situations where it could work, although I suspect one group
will eventually absorb the other or the tribe will split.
Time will tell.
"Does that mean you won't be coming here? Shiro and I wanted you
to
live with us."
"I'm not sure. The young ones want to win this on their own.
Maybe
they need to. If that's the case, I'll be back in Japan soon, but
I
don't think I'll move in with you."
Shampoo stared at the phone as if it was giving her the wrong
messages.
"Why not, Great-Grandmother?"
"Newlyweds need their privacy."
She ain't old and wise for nothing! ^_^
Right!
Ranma unfurled his umbrella and handed it to Anne. "Here, I don't
mind getting wet."
Before Anne could refuse his offer, he sprinted out into the rain.
She looked after him, shrugged her shoulders, and headed for the
cafeteria. Maybe she'd been imagining things when she saw Ranma
get
caught in the rain before. He still looked like a guy to her.
If nothing else, the cure will serve to further confuse those not in
the know. :)
*****
Ranma was running so fast that he nearly ran Akane down when he
encountered her. As it was, her umbrella went flying and he had
to
retrieve it for her.
"Sorry, honey. You okay?"
Ranma tried putting the umbrella over Akane, but she took it and
folded it up.
"I'm fine."
"Then what are you doing folding up your umbrella? You're going
to
get soaked!"
Akane just smiled, and linked her arm through Ranma's. "Did you
forget what I said the other day? I've always wanted to be able
to
walk in the rain with you."
"You're nuts, you know." Ranma leaned over and kissed his wife.
Then
they walked home, hand in hand, smiling and dripping wet.
Sweet. *sniff, sniff* "WAAAAHHHH!!!"
I'm just an old softy. :)
*hands you a Kleenex*
*****
"You told me that you figured something out, Ukyo. What is it?"
"I'm not sure how to tell you, Doctor."
"Just try."
"I think I let other people influence me too much."
All across Asia, selected individuals face-fault, although they
don't know why. :P
At any rate, that's a hard situation to avoid, growing up in Japan.
She's got it worse than most.
The response he got was enthusiastic agreement. The doctor left
to
make arrangements for Ukyo's discharge, and she sat down in the
chair
he'd just vacated.
Her plan had worked. Tell most of the truth, and hope the doctor
would let her out. It was time to find out what she really wanted
from Ranma, and what he was willing to give.
Ukyo sighed. More than likely, things wouldn't work out the way
she
wanted, but she was prepared to face that.
*nods* I'm glad to see Ukyou starting to come to her senses, but
that does leave Nodoka in the position of having to sustain her
endeavours by herself; not easy from the writer's perspective, but I
suspect this all about to come crashing down.
Ukyo's been through enough without having Nodoka do more damage. Your
suspicion is a good one.
"Ryoga!!"
"Mom!"
Ryoga paused long enough to hand the envelope containing the
driver's
fee to him, then he allowed his mother to grab him and give him
the
hug he'd wanted for so long.
And on the way back to the house, they suddenly find themselves in
Tuba, Arizona. (It's a real place, BTW. :) Well, at least they're
together. Cute bit. :)
Whap, whap, whap! (you're lucky I use small carrots and not the
genetically-engineered huge ones).
*****
Akane wondered why her feet were cold. She opened one eye and
squinted toward them. Ranma had kicked the blankets off their
feet.
Again. She sat up to cover them and paused a moment.
Ranma's feet were bigger than hers. A lot bigger. Akane had
always
known that, but found herself thinking about how much smaller his
feet
were than hers when he was female. She wasn't going to be seeing
those feet anymore.
Don't count your chickens, Akane. Jusenkyou doesn't let go that
easily.
*another innocent look*
I have a feeling Akane is going to start missing onna-Ranma. It's a
unique situation with a lot of interesting benefits (not necessarily
hentai ones, either :P) to go with the problems.
She's merely in a reflective mood.
Akane pulled the blanket over their feet and
began to lie down, but instead picked up Ranma's hand and placed
hers
on top of it. Her fingertips barely reached the first joint of
his
fingers. And thinking of fingers, where was Ranma's wedding ring?
Ah yes, still around his neck. It hadn't occurred to either of
them
that he didn't need to wear it there any longer. She looked for
the
clasp, but it wasn't at the back of his neck. It must have
slipped
around somewhere in front.
Akane was reaching inside Ranma's undershirt for the clasp when
both
of his hands grabbed hers.
"What are you doing, trying to strangle me?"
"Uh, uh. Trying to get your ring."
Ranma yawned, unhooked the clasp, and handed the ring and chain to
Akane. "You had to wake me up for that?"
Akane sighed. Sometimes romance was lost on Ranma. She took the
ring
off the chain, slipped it onto his finger, and lay back down. A
few
seconds later Ranma turned over, pulled Akane into his arms, and
nuzzled her neck.
"Thank you. I like it better there." He lay his cheek against
her
breast, and soon fell asleep again. Akane smiled, closed her
eyes,
and joined him.
"WAAAAHHH!!!"
Okay, June. I can't take much more of this sentimental hogwash
before I completely break down and have to call my therapist.
Ukyo's therapist is available Wednesday evening at 8. I've scheduled
an appointment for you.
While her son and his wife slept peacefully, Nodoka lay staring at
the
ceiling.
Ukyo's unexpected arrival had taken Nodoka completely by surprise,
though she was extremely glad to see her. Now it would be much
easier
to get her and Ranma together.
The only thing that was bothering her was the slight change she'd
detected in Ukyo's attitude. She sensed something like a drawing
back, a reluctance on Ukyo's part to confide in her. Ukyo had
been
treating her like a mother for weeks, telling Nodoka all the
secrets
of her heart. Something had changed. What?
Nodoka thought about it. Then she realized what was wrong. She'd
been wasting too much time getting Ukyo and Ranma together, and
Ukyo
was beginning to doubt that she could. Nodoka turned over and
closed
her eyes. Saturday was only a few days away. Then everything
she'd
planned would work out.
Then another doubt came to her, forcing her back to wakefulness.
There was another problem.
Ranma. If he had only been with her when he was small. Then she
could have raised him to be properly respectful and obedient to
his
mother. Although her son showed his affection for her by trying
to
please her, he had a stubborn streak that she found disturbing.
No. Ranma would obey her. She was his mother, after all.
Gah. I want to see reality crash down, but I feel sorry for her,
too.
Nice job.
Thank you. We should be angry, yet somewhat sympathetic.
He picked up something to eat and made his way toward Nabiki's
table.
His apprehension increased in direct proportion to the decrease in
distance between them, especially since he couldn't interpret her
expression.
Technically speaking, it would be better to say "His apprehension
increased in inverse proportion to the distance between them..." but
that creates a stumbling block for the reader. Oh, well. I'm just
listening to myself lecture. :P
*eyes cross*
Ranma gently kissed his wife. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I won't
make
you wait too long. I promise.
"Oh, Ranma..."
"And I'll talk to Mom. She owes you an apology."
Story direction builds towards the fateful meeting... :)
*nod*
"Sure, let me have the address." Allison made a quick note of the
address, and realized that Ranma did not live on campus. "I'll
see
you around six if that is all right."
"Yes, thank you!"
Ranma turned around and found Akane standing there looking
mystified.
"Didn't you tell your professor I was helping you?"
"Yes, but he insisted I needed a tutor."
"But how are we going to pay her? What does she charge?"
"I'll find out tonight."
Akane started to pace around the kitchen. "We can't stretch our
budget any farther than it already is. But I don't want you to
flunk
English!"
"Don't worry. I'll think of something." The skeptical look Ranma
got
from his wife made him slightly indignant. "Well, I will!"
Your friend in Ube must be jumping up and down. She actually gets to
meet the Great Saotome Ranma! :)
I haven't sent the chapter to Allison yet. Waiting until it's fully
edited. But she knows!
Kuno found Nabiki in the poetry aisle, practically drooling over
the
book in her hands.
"I've been waiting for this for months! He's my favorite poet!"
Nabiki gave Kuno a smile that shook him down to his toes, and
dashed
to the cashier's desk.
Second half of sentence is unclear a little as to who is doing the
dashing. Suggest: Nabiki gave Kuno a smile that shook him down to
his toes before she dashed to the cashier's desk.
*************
Nabiki gave Kuno a smile that shook him down to his toes, and dashed
to the cashier's desk.
"I have no idea why I did that," he said to the startled clerk.
:P
I SEE what you mean...changing. Thanks. (nothing like a silly demo
to get your point across)
"Your mother is coming Saturday? Did she say what she wanted?"
"I didn't have time to let her tell me, Akane." Ranma waited
until
they got downstairs and out of the house before he continued. "I
don't really care why she wants to come here. I want to talk to
her
about you."
"I don't want you two to fight because of me."
"Neither do I."
But he's not ruling out the possibility. Good. He needs to be
prepared for that because I really can't see at least some argument
happening.
Agreed.
*****
Nodoka held the door open for Ukyo and Konatsu so that they could
carry their purchases inside.
"Why didn't you have all this delivered? This was much too much
for
you to carry."
Ukyo just shrugged. "It didn't seem like much to me."
"But a lady shouldn't have to bear such burdens."
She got no response. Ukyo continued into the back with her
packages
and began putting them away. What did Nodoka want from her,
exactly?
During her walk with Konatsu she had agreed to sit back and let
Nodoka
reveal herself. That meant not prying for more information, but
rather allowing things to develop naturally.
"Let me finish, Ukyo. It's nearly time to open."
Ukyo left Konatsu to finish stocking the shelves, washed her
hands,
and began preparations for the lunch time
lunchtime
oops
crowd. Nodoka started to
assist her and Ukyo caught a few odd looks from her before she
spoke.
"I'm going to see Ranma Saturday morning, Ukyo dear. Will you
come
with me?"
"R-Ranma? You're sure he'll want to see me!"
"Of course he will! Aren't you his oldest friend?"
"I guess I am."
Hmmm, an interesting ending.
Well, it *feels* like the showdown is about to start. Oooo. I'm on
pins and needles. :)
As always, you leave me aching for more. ~_^
And there will be more!
Another excellent installment, June. Kudos!
thanks, Dave.
June