Subject: [FFML] Re: Children of Fire #8, Draft 2
From: Rhea Seraph
Date: 3/18/2000, 10:01 PM
To: Jason Liao
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

On Sat, 18 Mar 2000, Jason Liao wrote:


On Fri, 17 Mar 2000, Rhea Seraph wrote:


	"Or Kiss of Divorce, but you have to be married first 
to give Kiss of Divorce."

"Then, there's the Kiss of We're Having Hot Passionate Sex.  Or the Kiss
of You're Three Years Old And Have A Small Cut.  Or...

Heh!
 
	So be it, he thought.  A fey mood was upon him, and 
the idea of simply fighting it out to the death had a strange 
appeal.

Interesting wording choice.  Fey?

A mood of welcoming death.
 
	"Won't matter when you're dead."  He tossed Uranus 
aside once she went limp; she wouldn't recover fast enough 
to matter, and he wanted captives, not corpses.

Out of curiosity, why?  Was there something in an earlier chapter
that I'd forgotten?  Didn't the Queen just complain about his getting
twarted by the Senshi?  I could understand Endy, but not the rest.

Because the Queen has ways to bring captives under her control, but not
dead folk.  She isn't mad because they're alive, but because they beat
him.

 

	Then he threw four roses at once, striking her winds, 
which evaporated.  Nor could she call them back.  Her jaw 
dropped, then Kunou was on her.  "Head!"  He struck her 
head.  "Shoulder!"  He nearly dislocated her left arm.  
"Chest!"  Her sternum ached from the blow.  

I understand that this is a part of kendo.  However, Kuno doesn't shout
out his targets in the actual series, so why is he doing it now?  There is
also the issue that some people unfamiliar with the sport are going to be
very confused.

Mostly to set up for a cheap joke :)  And because I find that whole thing
to be endlessly amusing.
 
	"GROIN!" she shouted and kicked him in the balls.  His 
eyes went wide, and he staggered back, bending over.  
"FACE!"  She kicked him in the face, knocking him back.

A friend of mine went to Japan, and was given the opportunity to do some
Kendo.  He also fences, so when he first faced off against his oppoenent,
he shouted FINGERS and lunged.

Heh.

yourself.  Publicly, I will announce you have been sentenced 
to Eternal Sleep.  But privately, you will take on a new 
identity.  I will give you to Nephrite as an assistant.  You will 
spy on those who serve him, and if he begins to fail as you 
did, hopefully, you will catch the traitor.  You will report your 
findings to me periodically.  Do you understand?"

...

You know, that actually made sense.

Still, I have to wonder how Nephrite is going to not know a guy that he's
known for a thousand years.

That's what disguises are for.  

 

	"Did you do it?"

	"No!"

	Kenji-neko looked at him dubiously.  "Are you gay?"

	"NO!!!!"

Ha!

Hehe.
 
	"Kissing is wierd?"

	"When everyone is staring at you and there's people 
who'll beat you and me for doing it, yeah."

You mean "her and me", don't you?  Or is someone going to smack Kenji
around if Usagi kisses Ranma?

Doh.  I goobered.
 

	"I don't like hate her, but if any of what I feel is me and 
not him, I can't tell.

I recommend that you take out the 'like'

Good idea.
 
	"Rhea and Tethys for us."

I'm tempted to make a Mike Rhea comment here, but I won't.

That was most certainly NOT the idea.

John Biles
Emperor of all He Surveys
http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html

      "Would it not be better to be dead than to
       have this horrible fear that Aslan has come
       and is not like the Aslan we have believed in
       and longed for?  It is as if the sun rose one
       day and it was a black sun."

       "I know" said Jewel, "or as if you drank water
       and it were DRY water.  You are right, sire, 
       this is the end of all things. >
--The Last Battle, by C. S. Lewis





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