Subject: [FFML] [songfic][GW][sad] O Fortuna
From: "Megan" <kunitori@licensedtokill.com>
Date: 3/18/2000, 2:36 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

This is a songfic, I guess.  Takes place some time after the end of 
the Endless Waltz OVAs.  It's kinda sad.  Well, I couldn't help it; 
the song is so pessimistic.  But it's such a powerful song, I 
couldn't help myself.  Anyway, on with the fic.


                      A Gundam Wing songfic 
                           O Fortuna
                 from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana


O FORTUNA, VELUT LUNA
STATU VARIABILIS
O Fortune, variable as the moon,

SEMPER CRESCIS AUT DECRESCIS
VITA DETESTABILIS
always dost thou wax and wane.  


The streets were alive, bustling with all kinds of people.  Couples 
walked hand in hand, immersed in each other; young children darted 
underfoot, their laughter free; men and women in suits dashed to make 
it to some urgent appointment, or walked slowly, savouring the fresh 
air, reluctant to return to their stuffy offices.  People laughed and 
chatted; by the side of the road, they haggled over treats and 
trinkets, or sat and watched the world go by.

Through it all came one young man, self-assured, confident, walking 
as if he owned the streets.  His long braid swishing behind him, he 
tossed a shiny, deep red apple into the air, watched it spin lazily, 
caught it once again with a smile.  

Slung over one arm was a bag full of apples.  Passing the marketplace, 
he hadn't been able to help himself.  Years ago, he'd have simply 
grabbed one of the crisp, delicious fruit, dashing off unseen with 
his prize.  But now he could afford to buy an even dozen, so he had.

He'd dreamed of living like this when he was just a kid.  When he 
used to be street trash, wild, grimy, hopeless and lost.  *Ask me 
then, I'd say the world hated me.  But now....*  

He grinned cockily, and continued on his way.


NUNC OBDURAT ET TUNC CURAT
LUDO MENTIS ACIEM
Detestable life, first dost thou mistreat us, and then, whimsically, 
thou heedest our desires.


The smell of greasepaint hung thick in the air.  He emerged from 
beneath a flap of the heavy canvas tent, carrying a bucket full of 
soapy water, a hard-bristled brush floating among the suds.  Time to 
clean out the cages once more.

It was a short trip to the animals' enclosure; when he arrived, he 
was mildly surprised to see Catherine standing there.  She was 
watching the lion in its cage; it was watching her.  Hearing someone 
approach, she turned; he was puzzled to see tears in her eyes.  But 
she didn't look sad...?

He put down the bucket.  "Are you alright?" 

Her eyes filled with bright tears; they spilled out, tracing 
glistening lines down her cheeks.  "Oh, Trowa... *Triton*...."  She 
rushed forward, her arms folding around him.  "I'm just so happy that 
I've finally found you."  Her arms held him tight; her embrace was 
warm and comforting.  It was strange; somehow, standing here like 
this, he felt... safe.  "My brother...."

Feeling the barest prickle of tears in his own half-closed eyes, he 
hugged her back.


EGESTATEM, POTESTATEM
DISSOLVIT UT GLACIEM
As the sun melts the ice, so dost thou dissolve both poverty and 
power.


Her back ached.  It was the stiff-backed chair, she knew; she kept 
intending to replace it, but never had the time.  Or maybe it was the 
way she spent hours sitting here, hunched over reports and memos, 
doing research for her pet projects.  Probably both, now that she 
thought about it.

The desk wasn't especially cluttered, but if she turned her back on 
it for a minute the work on it would grow exponentially.  A weekend 
spent away among the Colonies, talking to various governors or 
explaining the latest government programs, always translated directly 
into piles of papers that urgently needed her approval.  She was 
working over one such paper right now; a feasibility report, having 
to do with seeding arctic lichens on Mars.  She scratched a couple of 
comments in the margin of the paper, crossed out a sentence, crossed 
out a misspelled word.  *This'll need to be rewritten before it can 
be sent out.*

Pushing the paper away, she straightened up, briefly attempting to 
stretch out her sore back muscles.  There were still a dozen things 
on her agenda today; a meeting with a newly elected minister, 
schedules for the next week to juggle around, yet more reports to 
review.  *If everyone didn't keep telling me how important I was, I'd 
think I was just a secretary or something.*  

A foam cup sat forgotten among the papers on her desk.  Picking it 
up, she sat back in her uncomfortable chair and took a sip of the 
coffee, now lukewarm.  A half-smile played across her lips.  *And to 
think, I used to be the Queen of the World.  Look at me now.  Someone 
up there's laughing at me, I just know it.*


SORS IMMANIS ET INANIS
ROTA TU VOLUBILIS
Monstrous and empty fate, thou, turning wheel, art mean, 

STATUS MALUS, VANA SALUS
SEMPER DISSOLUBILIS
voiding good health at thy will.  


"I'm going in."  He spoke softly into the comm; just loud enough for 
Sally, on the other end, to hear him.  The time for waiting, for 
cautious reconnaissance, was past; now it was time for action.  
Barely waiting for her acknowledgment, he shoved the tiny 
communications unit into a pouch on his belt and moved out.

All sorts of revolutionaries were crawling out of the woodwork these 
days; luckily, they weren't as well organized as they could have 
been.  It had been easy to sneak an operative in; easy to learn all 
kinds of secrets that would spell the downfall of this little pocket 
of armed resistance.  Just another day's work for the Preventers.

The building was heavily guarded.  Even so, he flowed through its 
halls like water, putting an end to groups of guards despite their 
shining, brand-new, and very illegal rifles.  He'd break up their 
little conference before they even knew they were being attacked.

Soon he reached the specified room, taking only seconds to eliminate 
the half-dozen men on alert beside the door.  On the small keypad 
nearby, he tapped in the codes the informant had risked his life to 
learn.  The door hissed open; he dashed into the room, weapon in 
hand, ready for anything. 

The room, however, was empty.  Except for....  His eyes grew wide as 
he realized he'd been lured into a trap.

But by then, it was too late.


OBUMBRATA ET VELATA
MICHI QUOQUE NITERIS
Veiled in obscurity, thou dost attack me also.


He leaned against the alley's wall, unseen in the shadows.  From his 
self-appointed post, he watched the girl walk past, only a few metres 
away.  She carried a sheaf of official-looking papers tucked under 
one arm; her long straight hair was ruffled by the breeze as she took 
a short trip across the calm, pleasant street.  

A short trip... but long enough, for a sniper.  His ever-alert eyes 
caught a damning glint of metal from a high window.  "Relena!" he 
shouted, dashing towards her.  "Get down!"  

He flung himself at her, knocking her down.  Just in time.  Searing 
agony slammed into his arm.  Ignoring the pain, making sure his body 
covered hers, he twisted around, gun already in hand.  It was 
probably useless at this range, but you never know.  There might be 
accomplices.  Beneath him she lay stretched out, arms covering her 
head, trembling.

Her papers were strewn across the street, a couple of documents 
fluttering away with the wind.  Alerted by the commotion, uniformed 
men and women began to arrive in a panicked hurry.  Officers were 
dispatched towards the building, the area cordoned off; the 
responsible party might be caught, might not.  

No more shots were fired; the sniper had been scared away.  *She's 
safe,* he thought, relieved.  He lowered his gun and sat back on his 
heels, letting her up.

She sat up slowly, still shaken from the unexpected scare.  Then she 
turned, catching sight of her saviour.  Her face lit up.  "Oh, Heero!"  
Catching sight of his wounded arm, she gasped and reached out as if 
to heal it with her touch alone, then stopped herself.  "You're hurt!  
How did you... Why did you...."

"I promised I would protect you."  In the face of her brilliant 
smile, he found himself able to smile back, even if just a little.


NUNC PER LUDUM DORSUM NUDUM
FERO TUI SCELERIS
To thy cruel pleasure I bare my back.


*He disappeared so quickly....*  She smiled even so, wistfully 
thinking of her vanished Heero as she gazed out the window of the 
plane.  

The ocean below was so calm and peaceful; at this altitude, she could 
barely see any hint of disturbance on its emerald surface.  She 
didn't want to think about the meeting she'd be attending once the 
plane landed; another round of barely civil exchanges, not even 
coming close to masking the greed and power-grabbing that raged just 
beneath the surface of all politics.  Instead, she filled her head 
with her fondest memories, memories of the cobalt-eyed boy who never 
gave her a single kind word, yet who was always there to rescue 
her....

"Malfunction in engine three.  Malfunc--" 

The airplane, a silver arrow streaking across the sky, began 
coughing, spitting out smoke and flame.  There was no time for her to 
do anything other than scream.  "HEERO--"

Blazing destruction rained down and was swallowed up by the sea.


SORS SALUTIS ET VIRTUTIS
MICHI NUNC CONTRARIA
Thou dost withdraw my health and virtue,

EST AFFECTUS ET DEFECTUS
SEMPER IN ANGARIA
thou dost threaten my emotion and weakness with torture.


The world sounded tinny and faraway.  His head was stuffy, full of 
cotton; his thoughts annoyingly slow.  Finally he opened his eyes, 
just a crack; everything was fuzzy and far too bright.

It took long minutes for the bright, painful glow to resolve itself 
into the familiar trappings of a hospital room.  A faintly green 
curtain was drawn half-closed around his bed.  The smell of 
antiseptics tickled the back of his throat.  On the table to his side 
stood a pitcher of water, a half-full glass.  Beside them, someone 
had placed a couple of cards.  Odd pastel-coloured creatures danced 
across the stiff paper, and proclaimed "Get well soon!" in cheerful 
block letters.

On his other side sat a familiar face, slumped in a sturdy-looking, 
utilitarian chair.  He recognized her only after a couple of seconds 
of thought.  *Sally.*  For some reason she looked haggard, as if she 
hadn't slept in days.

Finally noticing the slight movement of his head, the twitch of his 
eyes, she sat up.  "You're awake!" Her voice seemed far too loud; his 
head began to ache. 

She moved forward, sitting on the edge of her chair, leaning over him 
with gladness in her eyes.  Her hand reached over to clasp his as it 
lay motionless on the crisp white sheets.  He tried to grip her hand 
in return, to provide some reassurance to allay the alarming emotion 
in her eyes.  He tried, but....  

"Why..." he rasped, his voice rusted from lack of use.  "Why can't I 
feel my arms?"

Her eyes quivered as if she were attempting to hold back tears.  "I'm 
so sorry.  The doctors did all they could...."

His eyes grew wild with pain and shock; his voice trembled with 
barely restrained hysteria.  "Why can't I feel my legs?"


HAC IN HORA SINE MORA
CORDE PULSUM TANGITE
At this hour, therefore, let us pluck the strings without delay.


The music was too loud, too bright.  He could easily walk over and 
turn off the radio, shutting it off at the source.  Instead he stood 
by the window, staring outside, unmoving.

"C'mon, Heero.  Let's go."  Duo's voice couldn't conceal a 
tinge of concern.  Flicking his long braid to one side and adjusting 
the stiff, unfamiliar dress shirt once more, he walked up to the 
window, resting one hand on the shoulder of the boy standing there.  
"C'mon, the funeral starts in half an hour."

Duo's music continued to blare through the tiny rented apartment.  
Ignoring it, ignoring Duo, the boy continued looking out the window.  
At the sky, so calm.  At the ocean, so peaceful, so still.


QUOD PER SORTEM STERNIT FORTEM
MECUM OMNES PLANGITE
Let us mourn together, for fate crushes the brave.







---

Ah, right, disclaimers.  Gundam Wing (c) Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, and 
TV Asahi, and probably by several other big powerful companies whose 
names I don't know.  "O Fortuna" is a song from Carmina Burana, an 
opera, music written by Carl Orff, based on poems written in the 13th 
century by rowdy students and defrocked monks ^_^;;  This particular 
English translation of the text is (c) 1953 by Schott's Sohne, Mainz. 
All rights reserved.  I don't own either GW or Carmina Burana, more's
the pity, but any attempts to sue me most likely won't net anything 
more profitable than a jar of pennies that I've been saving for a few
years.  *Canadian* pennies, no less.  So it's hardly worth it ^_^;;

A couple of mornings ago, I got the phrase "for fate crushes the brave" 
stuck in my head, and it wouldn't go away till I wrote the fic. Hence
the piece of fiction you just read.

I would greatly appreciate C&C on this. Public is fine ^_^ Go ahead,
tear the fic apart. Any character seem blatantly OOC? Anything I've 
gotten obviously wrong according to GW canon?  Was anyone overly 
confused about which character each little story segment was focusing
on? Any grammar/spelling/et caetera mistakes?  Anything seem too
contrived/obvious? Any (horror of horrors) cliches?  This is the first 
GW fic I've completed, so any help would be wonderful.

What's up next?  I was thinking "Fortune plango vulnera" would make a 
pretty good songfic too, and I know just the scenes to use... won't 
be anywhere near as dark as this one.  ...NO, I am NOT planning to 
make a giant GW songfic out of the entire Carmina Burana, that'd be 
nuts. ^_^;;  Plus it would have a lot of lemon scenes, now that I 
think about it... *^^*


Megan Jones            kunitori@licensedtokill.com
A Midsummer Night's WebSite: http://i.am/midsummer

Alas poor Yorick, I think you're dead.


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