Ranma couldn't help gloating a little as he watched Nabiki
and Kasumi eat. He had figured it out when they had given
up hope. HE and HE alone had saved Akane, when everyone else
in the world had given up and figured she was down and out
for the count.
Finally Nabiki looked up at him and said " You win, I have
to admit I can't figure out how you did it but you win!"
Kasumi looked up also and added " You taught her, how to do
this, in only one day, on her first try!"
Nabiki asked in a quite reasonable tone for someone who was
considering fainting from the size and number of bets that
she had won that day. " Ranma, how did YOU get Akane to
cook, with out any assistants, a Gourmet Meal. One good
enough to win the top prize in a world class contest? And on
the first day after you worked with her seriously on her
cooking skills, no less!"
"How did you even get her into the contest on such short
notice"
"Well I knew the fellow who was running the contest, I saved
his life on one occasion and his wife and children's lives
on another." replied Ranma
" Well I was curious as to how you got her in the contest
but actually I was wondering how you taught her to cook? I
mean one day she's terrible, easily the worst cook I have
ever seen, and the next she is a world class chef."
" Well I had always been suspicious about Akane's cooking,
because I couldn't believe anyone could be that bad a cook,
unless it was on purpose. However I could think of no reason
for her to try to hurt all of YOU with her food and she did
always try to get you to eat it. I mean however she feels
about me, I KNOW she loves you, her Family. "
"Then one day I was trying to talk Ryoga out of a room with
only one door and no other exit. It hit me, Ryoga can't
follow directions because he is cursed to always go in a
different direction than the one he wants to move in. So I
started giving him direction in reverse, then I began giving
him directions that were so detailed that there was only
one way he could move and not follow the directions and that
was straight to the door. I then gave him similar directions
on how go home. And he got there, he went directly from the
dojo to his house."
"I thought about Akane's cooking and wondered, so I made
Akane a bet, that she couldn't cook a truly horrible meal,
one that would literally be poisonous and totally inedible,
a meal that would have no redeeming qualities at all. It
would have to be as terribly bad tasting as she could
manage, ugly to look at and horrible to touch. It would have
to smell so bad no one would ever want to get near it, not
even scavengers would ever go near it let alone eat any."
"You remember that meal! You all agreed it was the best you
had ever seen, smelled and tasted."
"So I took her in the kitchen and explained my theory and
after she calmed down a little I bet her, she couldn't make
a truly horrid meal. something so bad a demon couldn't eat
it. That was what I submitted to get her into the contest."
" I knew this contest was being held this week and asked as
a favor, if she would be included. Her food was so good, she
won by a unanimous decision on each round." So Akane is now
a world famous Chef and far happier than she has been since
I have known her."
This story ain't got no morals, this story ain't got no
sense, this story is just to show the world is just plain
dense.
I wrote this after more hours of work and worry than I care
to think about. I got a laugh out it even if nobody else
does. I blame this plot on Robert Haynie, who invented Baka
Fu . he inspired me to do this.
As a side note, someone posted a key word to be included in
the brackets, if you wanted the story to be included in an
archive automatically. I lost the post. Could someone either
repost the information or preferably send me a copy of the
information.
--
Rick Robinson
RICHARDROBINSONJR@prodigy.net
News Item
Today in Jerusalem, they found an old forgotten fossil in a
museum. It was a Snake, with Legs.
Sort of makes you wonder, doesn't it, just how old the
fossil was and if it might have been That Snake; the
original Fruit peddler and the first Lawyer and the first
politician in history.
If violence is not solving your
problems you're just not using enough of it.
Misato
"I guess I'm just an old-fashioned sentimentalist at heart.
I refuse
to accept a no-win scenario. I hate the thought of a
universe without
justice. If the maneuverings of dark powers can't be
exposed and
defeated by the pure of heart, then there's no point in
anything. I
can't believe that."
-- Benjamin Hutchins